Carpe Cochleari

Oskmey! They/He. 30+

[theehorsepusssy]

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

At the having a headache awards

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[steelplatedhearts]

there’s a local guy called the Sidewalk Astronomer who sets up outside the clubs downtown with a giant telescope and lets the drunk people walking by look at the stars. he’s my hero and he let me see the moon and Jupiter today

[strange-aeons]

[theabigailthorn]

I made a Mii of you hope that's alright

hell yeah

i do like mozzarella lemonade and honey!

[strange-aeons]

I'm very tired and briefly considered the possibility that British people enjoy a weird delicacy called "mozzarella lemonade"

[mangled-by-disuse]

get a load of this guy who's never had mozzarella lemonade

[strange-aeons]

[atuats-sidechick]

make mozzarella lemonade

mozzarella

lemon juice

lemon peel

water

sugar

honey

Voting ended onMay 18

[strange-aeons]

In my twisted mind mozzarella lemonade looks like boba tea but with mini mozzarella balls instead of tapioca pearls. Btw.

[xalatath]

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[negativ00]

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

REMEMBER IF YOU HONK ALLYOU AT ME I WILL HONK HONK IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER U HAVE TO HONK IF IF YOU WILL IF I HONK MYSELF WANT HONK IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY HONK

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

one person's "ugghh this trope is so overdone" is another person's "oooooohohohohohohohoho"

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[miteistic]

[nick-nonya]

[cleanedupcorporationprogress]

[boothyghost]

[all-save-challenge]

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

[trolleybusaberrations]

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

[bingle-official]

[primordialsoupvendor]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[definitely-not-a-plant]

[spectroacha]

DOES IT NOT STOP

[3000s]

tumblr giveaway

reblog to win one of that

[catboymuqing-moving]

I’M HORTONS?

[sphereshots]

[fantashic]

[sobeautifulorsowhat]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[chungledown-bimothy]

I fucking love when people give in-universe reasons for omegaverse shenanigans being a relatively new phenomenon and not just a fact of life. And this is probably my favorite out of all of them. Insane choice, and I want to kiss the author sloppy style about it.

As we all know, the Spanish Flu caused the omegaverse. Iconic.

[warningboyxboy]

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]