Operator: "00よ, what's your emergency."
Caller: "I thought this diagram was commutative, BUT IT ACTUALLY WASN'T"
O: "Stay calm. I'm dispatching a higher category theorist. Please stay on the line."
C: "The paths... they yield DIFFERENT MORPHISMS! OH GOD OH GOD"
O: "Please stay calm, our team is on it's way. We'll get you some 2-cells and fashion an equivalence."
C: "Oh THANK GOD you've arrived. Look at my diagram!"
ECT (Emergency Category Theorist): "He's lost a lot if coherence! His internal structures are failing to be well behaved! Get me 50 co's! I need to spell 'cocone' 25 times! Okay sir, I'm administering the 2-morphisms now."
C: "I can't close my category; my adjoints hurt too much. The diagrams... morphisms..."
E: "HE'S LOSING COHESIVENESS! LOAD HIM ONTO THE SHARP MODALITY! WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE GROTHENDIECK SITE NOW!"
*in the quasitopos wing of the grothendieck site*
Doctor: "His subobjects are strong but he's still unable to classify them. Nurse, draw some sections; we need to run nLabs."
D: "It's worse than I suspected; size issues. This is really serious. He'll need to see a type theorist"
Type Theorist: "We'll need to implant a Russell hierarchy. It's a dangerous procedure. We can try to keep his internal logic extensional, but there's a large risk of his types collapsing in on themselves."
C: "Thank you doctor, without these new loop spaces, I don't know if I ever would've been able to derive again."
D: "Of course. Make sure to go easy at first. These derived limits can take some getting used to. Don't pullback or pushout two hard for a few months or you could tear an identity type"