the cat is my beta reader

lesbian: have cat, will write

[abishka-readsandwrites]

My Fics Masterpost

Since I’m trying to work on multiple fics at once (pray for me), I figure I’ll pin this here so people can easily keep up with updates, and easily find the individual posts for each fic.

WIPs

The Devil You Know [The Devil Wears Prada]

Updated: 16 May 2026

Theme: Miranda/Andy slow burn

Ao3 link

I Got You to Hold My Hand [Heated Rivalry]

Updated: 13 June 2026

Theme: Tuna Meltdown time loop

Ao3 link

Heaven Struck [Heated Rivalry]

Updated: 13 June 2026 (has a backlog, updates Saturdays)

Theme: Heated Rivalry, but Shane realizes he’s gay earlier, and Ilya actually does something about the Russia situation.

Snippets found here

AO3 Link

Completed

The Future is Cancelled [Heated Rivalry]

Completed: 25 April 2026

Theme: exquisite love, exquisite grief

Ao3 link

[dumbass-writer]

One of my favorite headcanons is that shane knows literally everyone- he’s friends or like a friend of a friend for every single major or minor celebrity in at least four countries but he doesn’t realize the magnitude bc it’s not hockey so who gives a fuck- he mentions his good friend Julie turns out it’s fucking Julie Andrew’s- Shane’s been on numerous shows and podcasts and YouTube channels but has never mentioned it bc it’s not hockey related - he has a standing dinner every like three months with fucking half the marvel cast and every six months with the British royal family but doesn’t mention it ever bc why would someone want a list of his friends ??? Anyways niche but incredibly famous shane Hollander in like other fields than hockey I love you

[vityamins]

I've been meaning to write for HR since the show aired, and this one finally broke containment 🏒

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86794366

[huliajelena]

how‘s the water?

you‘re in it

yeah, but i want to know how you like it

[hudconvent]

ilya rozanov voice marly i know youre good at eating pussy cuz youre always going crazy style on some buffalo wings

cliff marleau voice (nearly in tears) fuck man no ones ever said anything like that to me before………

[allstarrocks]

shallergies where when shane meets rose he doesnt realize the fries he's eating have been fried in peanut oil and he has to go to the hospital

Rose is SO apologetic and she goes with him and cant stop telling him how sorry she is and shane, still focused on 'gotta get a gf gotta prove to rozanov i can date girls too' is trying to be charming and his face is swollen and red and splotchy as he wheezes "you can make it up to me with a dinner" and shes like, "Um. No. This hit the socials immediately and some girl named Lily has been blowing up your phone."

[penandinkprincess]

Shallergies suggestion: after finding out about Shane's allergies, Ilya goes to the team nutritionist to have a very calm (slightly panicked) conversation about changing his meal plan and maybe the cooking company so he won't accidentally kill his girlfriend.

The nutritionist takes one look at his face and suggests he talk to the team doctors because this man has obviously spent the entire time since his desensitized girlfriend left on WEB MD looking up scary scary allergy information and needs someone to walk him through that allergy printout before the poor boy combusts. That meeting starts with Ilya invading the doctor's office, throwing the spreadsheet at their face and follows with a baffled doctor asking if his girlfriend is the most zen person ever or just doesn't fear death?

It takes Ilya several weeks to get over the fact that the only thing in the world Shane can be considered too chill about is the thing that can kill him (he's vindicated that it's not even his opinion, but the opinion of medical professionals)

GOD the idea of ilya having to come up with his cover story because he does need them to know the allergies aren't his but ARE present enough that his food HAS to be safe. and someone (playfully) is like?? oh?? one of your girls serious enough to worry about this??? and ilya is just...yes. yeah for sure. definitely that. she is over very often and i need food that will not kill her by proximity (visibly stressed about this and thus gently nudged towards the doctor's offices).

and this is medical-adjacent information, so the staff wouldn't tell anyone, but maybe the guys are over at ilya's house and see??? his mealpreps marked with allergy tags?? ilya, what??? you have allergies now?? dude we've seen you eat peanuts at bars what's up???

now it's a giant conspiracy about who ilya's Mystery Allergy Girl is and he also gets razzed MERCILESSLY about hanging up the player cloak and getting domesticated enough that he's even doing allergy-friendly food exclusively for this one girl when do we get to meet her what's her name at least oh my god is it montreal jane ilya you have to bring her over we won't pelt her with peanuts promise C'MON man-

[majordemonblockpartyy]

honestly, having flexibility in your headcanons is such an important skill to develop as a fandom participant. like, it's great to have strong opinions of your own, but don't you want to hear what strong opinions others hold? I love being compelled by a passionate argument! go off! tell me something I don't assume! give me the tea that's not inherent to my watching!

[softgnome]

Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.

[rho-delta]

Yep, Ilya’s not the guy who throws punches or gets hit by them, that’s an enforcer like Ryan Price. It’s pretty clearly stated in the book. From Heated Rivalry chapter 9:

I think this confusion stems from the few hockey scenes in the show where Ilya checks people into boards (notably Shane 😈). But we don’t see any actual fights on screen and so we don’t see an enforcer in action, only Ilya shoving people.. which is definitely NOT a fight.

[wermbrain]

"Would you ever want to go to space?"

Ilya is sitting on top of the toilet seat lid, phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder, cutting his toenails. 300 miles away, Shane is ironing his game day slacks, phone on speaker.

"No. Not really."

"Never?"

"I don't know, it seems hard. Like, the training and stuff."

"You're Shane Hollander. You would do it so easy."

Ilya says this a lot: You're Shane Hollander. Like that explains everything.

"I don't know if I want to. Don't you have to eat, like, freeze dried food?"

"Oh my god, Hollander. Imagine it is luxury spaceship. You have full gym and hockey rink and yummy homemade food you can eat and a giant window to watch the stars from. Would you want to go to space?"

Shane is silent as he thinks. Ilya carefully clips a toenail and watches it fly across the bathroom. Then, Shane:

"Are you going with me?"

"Would that change your answer?"

"Maybe."

"Then yes."

Shane thinks some more, focusing on folding the pleat of his slacks just right, then presses the hot iron on top. He makes one, two passes over the fold, then sets the iron down.

"I don't know. I kinda like it down here."

"You would rather be at your cottage?"

Shane squints at a spot on the leg of his pants. Leans in closer, tries to smudge it away with his finger.

"Yeah. I like hearing the birds sing." Licks his finger, tries again. "In the morning."

"You could have recordings of it in space. Listen every day, like an alarm."

"Well then that's not birds singing. That's recordings of birds singing."

[chaosandfoxes]

How hollanova send pics to each other (sometimes 😏)

Version without words + closeups:

[abishka-readsandwrites]

“Am I writing a romance or a psychological horror? Who can say?”

[excaryder]

[excaryder]

@hollanov-cocktail79

[scunthotter]

Ilya being born 30 years before Shane, defecting from the USSR to get away from his father and going to Montreal. He's alone and depressed and maybe he isn't as careful as he should be. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it wasn't but now he's haunting his mansion, well actually he's haunting his mother's necklace which is tucked behind a drawer in the master bath.

People don't like living in Ilya’s mansion, they can feel him there. Then along comes young and hungry rising mlh star Shane Hollander, who after billeting his first year jumps at the chance to buy the Ilya Rosanov's old house. The last great player on the Voyageurs, the one whose death led them to a 20 year losing streak that Shane is there to fix.

Shane likes living there, its not creepy no matter what Hayden says. He likes the heavy feeling of eyes on him at all times, it makes it impossible for him to feel like he's disappearing. He likes the feeling of hands brushing against his skin, of phantom lips and teeth, of a big body right behind him at all times, its less lonely. Every night he dreams that Ilya Rozanov forces him to take his cock. Shane just really likes the place, it's got good bones.

[gaynehollander]

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

[watermelontuesdays]

AU where Shane and Ilya don't hook up or have a decades-long secret. They don't really know each other at all, except to play each other.

Shane comes out of the closet sometime after Scott does, and in some random, lighthearted interview, they ask him what he's looking for in a man. And Shane's just, off-hand like, "Well, he'd have to have at least one Stanley Cup. Obviously." And when he gets a good reaction from that, he keeps going, like "Needs to be amazing at hockey. Definitely needs to be at least an All-Star, if not a captain. Hot too. If he can't bench-press me, I'm not interested."

And it's all in fun, except two days after the interview prints, Ilya Rozanov shows up at his door like "knock, knock. I am here to apply for boyfriend position. Do you need resume? I brought my Stanley Cup ring, just in case."

[hardlyhinged]

Op’s tags

[lexicanons]

Early in Shane’s first year with Ottawa, he takes a bad hit on the ice and is knocked unconscious. When he wakes, he discovers he can hear everyone’s thoughts. His excitement is quickly dashed when he discovers that Ilya thinks primarily in Russian so even though he can hear his husband’s thoughts, he can’t understand most of them. Shane doubles his efforts in studying Russian. He hires a tutor and basically any free time he has, he’s studying Russian. He even asks Ilya to speak Russian to him when they’re at home so he can learn faster. Ilya is happy to oblige and by the end of the season, Shane can understand most of Ilya’s thoughts.

They’re warming up on the ice when Shane zeroes in on Ilya’s thoughts. They’re in Russian but he can pretty much understand everything: ‘God, my husband is so hot doing his little stretch. Everything he does is so fucking hot. I’m so fucking lucky. I need to focus, but I really want to kiss him. Would he get mad if I kissed him right now? Maybe just on the cheek? Or-oh shit, he’s looking at me! Why am I so nervous? Oh, he’s coming over here! Maybe to talk about the game? AH! He kissed me on the cheek! The way he’s looking at me, my heart is about to beat out of my chest. Yes, my love, I will calm down…wait, how does he know I’m flustered? Oh, Shane says my smile is goofy. For a second, I thought he could read my thoughts. That would be crazy…unless…Shane if you can hear my thoughts, kiss me on the lips. AH! HE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS! SHANE, MY LOVE YOU CAN HEAR ME, YES? I LOVE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME, I LOVE YOU! COME BACK HERE! DON’T SKATE AWAY FROM ME!’