Transition Blog

Adam. 25, UK. Trans Advocate. 5+ years on testosterone, Post op chest surgery and lower surgery (forearm phalloplasty). Instagram: @accio.aj Youtube: accioaj

[accio-aj]

6 years on testosterone tomorrow! Here's how my face has changed over the last 8 years from aged 18 (Pre transition) to now aged 26. Swipe across to see body shape changes from 1 month of t to now. I owe my life to these injections, I highly doubt I'd be here right now without them. They've enabled me to be the person I felt I truly was meant to be, and for other people to also see that person. I will try to do a proper post talking about changes and also more mental health for World Mental Health Day tomorrow. If you've got any questions then please let me know so I can try my best to cover them. Hope everyone is well 😊 * * * * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #testosterone #transition #trans #transguy #transgender #ftmtransition #lgbt #hrt #puberty #topsurgery #chestsurgery #genderidentity #mentalhealth #wmhd #gingerbeard #beard #femaletomale https://www.instagram.com/p/BouWcTXD_FK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ego46i10pzd6

[accio-aj]

Transformation Tuesday - this time 4 years ago I'd just come out of 7 days in hospital from my first stage of phalloplasty, to then be allergic to the antibiotics I was discharged with (notice the full body rash that made me want to rip my skin off) and ending up in A&E. Was probably the hardest week of my life. I barely ate in hospital either hence looking so tiny. But this picture on the right was taken today after a fitness session. I'm my third week in and each time has gotten easier, I'm going to do more classes and make it 3 per week now, I'm really enjoying it and feel great with already noticing progress with my fitness. This is only the start of my fitness journey to get my body where I want it, tbh I almost didn't post this photo because I felt so good when I got home and Zoë took the photo for me, then looking at it I felt i look bigger in the stomach area than I was expecting, but I'll get there and posting this is a good boost to look back on when the fat starts shifting soon hopefully! I'm not striving for shredded abs or anything, just less wobble and more definitition, mainly around the tummy and hips so that my shirts fit how I want them to 😊 * * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #transguy #ftmtransition #ftmsurgery #transsurgery #phalloplasty #lowersurgery #bottomsurgery #chestsurgery #topsurgery #fitness #ftmfitness #fitnessjourney #transman #lgbtq https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn4PNpDhsLE/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1tm2v21pxucn

[accio-aj]

Throwback Thursday! Can't believe it's been 4 whole years since my first stage of lower surgery (forearm phalloplasty). It's strange, I remember it like it was yesterday, and yet also weird to think that this wasn't always part of my body. You can see in my recent pic (swipe across) that my forearm scar is pretty much invisible now under my tattoo. It was a tough old time, had a few complications (infections and allergic reactions) but thankfully nothing too drastic that couldn't be fixed. It was hard, but a hundred percent worth it and I'm so grateful that I was able to have it done. * * * * * * * * #throwbackthursday #throwback #lowersurgery #bottomsurgery #phalloplasty #phallo #ftmsurgery #chestsurgery #topsurgery #postop #ftm #transguy #gendertransition #genderidentity #transman #lgbtq #bodypositive #bodypositivity https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnq3koyjQXG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ja2tk2j9titw

[accio-aj]

Are #selfiesunday and #ootd still a thing? I don't tend to have outfits worth sharing most of the time 😂 but I was pleased after rediscovering my flat cap today, also not worn my leather jacket in a while but today it's like blustery rainy autumn day out there, and this is more waterproof than my actual raincoat... * * * * * * * * #selfie #flatcap #leatherjacket #outfitoftheday #guyswithtattoos #gingerbeard #ftm #transman #transguy

[accio-aj]

Transformation Tuesday! Complete with some new photos @zoemariegillard took for me 😊 we swapped sides of the camera at the weekend and I felt quite odd being on the other side of it! She managed to get some photos of me that I actually feel really good about though which was a big deal as I've not been feeling too good about my body lately (I put on weight and my clothes aren't fitting too well so this is a new shirt) but I'm really looking forward to moving in with each other in a couple of weeks and getting back into a routine to shift this wobble again! First set of pics are Pre transition just before I came out vs 5 years 4 months on testosterone. Second set is 5 months on t, so near enough 5 years ago 😊 * * * * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #testosterone #transition #trans #transguy #transgender #ftmtransition #lgbtq #genderidentity #photoshoot #bodypositive #bodypositivity #transman #lgbt #gendertransition #hrt

[accio-aj]

Throwback Thursday - this time 3 years ago I finished my last shift at Subway! What a good day that was, do not miss stinking of Subway and working until 10pm and having no social life. And now I've just got one week left at my current job before moving to be part of the mental health and well-being service, which I'm really looking forward to! Still crazy seeing how much younger I look just 3 years ago, testosterone is a wonderful thing. * * * * * * * * #throwbackthursday #throwback #ftm #transguy #testosterone #ftmtransition #transgender #beard #beardgains #hrt #newjob #glasses #blueeyes

[accio-aj]

⚠ Warning: the final 2 photosets are pretty graphic with healing images Transformation Tuesday this week goes to my arm and how amazingly the human body is able to heal itself! I'm coming up to almost 4 years post first stage of phalloplasty! I've put up some pics of the measurements of my skin graft as quite a few people ask the size of the graft they take and whether their arms will be big enough etc. These first pics were taken around 2 years post op just before I had my tattoo done by the amazing @josie_shadedladytattoo this lighting doesn't do the tattoo justice though! The tattoo photos I took today. The next pics are about 2 months post op, then weeks 1 - 4 I think. * * * * * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #transguy #ftmtransition #ftmsurgery #transsurgery #phalloplasty #lowersurgery #bottomsurgery #scartissue #tattooedscars #throwbackthursday #lgbtq #transgender #scars #healing #scarcoveruptattoo #skingraft #postop #surgery #surgeryscars

[accio-aj]

Throwback Thursday to my gym competition last year. My first time competing as male and first competition in about 10 years! Missing gym at the moment, got a few big life changes coming up in the next month (moving house and job) but definitely planning once I'm settled to get back to gymnastics. * * * * * * * #throwbackthursday #throwback #gymnastics #gym #floorexercise #floorroutine #somersault #ftm #transguy #fitness #ftmfitness #rings #highbar #parallelbars #mensgymnastics

[accio-aj]

Transformation Tuesday - Pride 2009 vs 2018! Pre transition to 5 years 9 months on testosterone and post op. The second set of photos is pride 2011 and 2014 I think. This year was my first Brighton Pride, I couldn't believe how massive it was. I have never seen so many rainbows and glitter in my life. Pride in itself could have been more inclusive of the whole lgbtq+ community and it's a shame it's become so commercialised but I don't want to rant about it, as I had a really lovely day and spent it with some amazing people, and the atmosphere was great. I'm glad though that I had Trans pride to feel the bigger sense of community and protests for progress and equality that seems to have been a bit lost in "general pride" I think that's why I'm not getting as angry about it as alot of people. As my first Brighton Pride, it was wonderful. Check out my highlight story for videos of the day 😊 🌈 * * * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #testosterone #transition #trans #transguy #transgender #ftmtransition #lgbtq #genderidentity #pride #brightonpride #brighton #glitterbeard #glitter #transformation #comparison #transpride #equality

[accio-aj]

Throwback Thursday to some of my favourite yoga sequences and handstand challenges from last year! Quite a few of you have been asking me if I still do yoga. Unfortunately since I moved I haven't been able to really do any due to money and space, but tonight I'm going to the first of a 6 week block of yoga sessions with Trans Can Sport! Really looking forward to trying to regain the flexibility I've lost over the last 6 months and get back into it again. Also I always did hot yoga or Vinyasa, I've never actually been to a "standard yoga" session before so should be interesting 😊 * * * * * * * #throwbackthursday #throwback #handstand #handstandchallenge #yoga #balance #flexibility #ftm #transguy #vinyasa #vinyasaflow #yogasequence #outdooryoga #ftmfitness #yogi #yogabalance

[accio-aj]

Throwback Thursday to 2015 and the first photos of me topless in public! I was 2 years post op at this point. The next photos are from last month when I went to Norfolk with Zoë and her family. I was hesitant to take my shirt off still as I continue to have alot of insecurities about my body but Zoë was incredibly supportive and I ended up going for it. I have to say swimming topless in the sea is one of the best feelings. I'm now 5 years post top surgery and never stop being grateful for having been able to have surgery. It seems like just yesterday I had it, and yet I also find it strange to think my chest hasn't always looked like this. Body still isn't where I want it to be, but I'm pleased to see it's less curvy than the first photo. Really hoping that once everything settles down in a couple of months, I'll be more able to get myself into an exercise routine. But also how weird do I look without my tattoos 😂 Threw in a handstand pic for good measure as we've not had one in a while. * * * * * * * * * * #throwbackthursday #throwback #topsurgery #chestsurgery #ftm #transguy #bodypositive #bodypositivity #chesttattoo #ftmfitness #transandshirtless #transandinked #lgbtq #gendertransition #ftmtransition

[accio-aj]

I'm pink and sore but had the most amazing weekend celebrating Trans Pride. The sense of community was amazing, and the fact I got to spend it with some truly incredible people made it that much more awesome. (swipe across for their beautiful faces) I really did end up feeling proud this weekend, and it gave me that nudge back into the community that I'd been looking for I think. I've lost touch a bit since moving as I've just been getting on with day to day life, which has been nice, I think it was a good break, but I definitely want to try and get back in touch more again. Got alot of exciting change going on in the next couple of months but once all that has settled I'm hopefully going to try and involve myself more in the trans community again. Thank you to everyone who made Trans Pride Brighton the most amazing weekend! Also looking at the torso sunburn as a slight positive considering it means I felt comfortable enough with my body to be shirtless on a very busy beach, and that was all down to the wonderful friends and partner I had with me xD 🤗 * * * * * * * * * #transpride #transpridebrighton #ftm #transguy #brighton #pride #lgbtq #transgender #nonbinary #queer #genderidentity #bodypositivity #bodypositive #guyswithtattoos #queerfamily #friends #motivationmonday #happy #pridemarch #transrights

[accio-aj]

We are Trans Pride ready! #transpridebrighton #transpride #transawareness #transgender #gendertransition #genderidentity #ftm #trans #transguy #queer #transally #lgbtcouple #pride

[accio-aj]

Today I'm off to the annual Trans, Non-Binary and Intersex Conference by Brighton University. The timetable looks great, I met some wonderful people and heard some very inspiring speakers last year so I have high hopes! Anyone else gonna be there today? * * * * * * * * #tnb2018 #ftm #transguy #transgender #ftmtransition #lgbtq #nonbinary #queer #transawareness #transguy #transawareness #tnbi2018 #queerspeakers #transeducators #transeducation

[accio-aj]

Transformation Tuesday July 2013 vs July 2018 9 months on testosterone vs 5 years 9 months. Interesting how I've visibly aged about 10+ years in the space of 5 😂 Also included the full version of the right hand photo as I felt a bit mean cropping Zoë's lovely face out of it 😂 it was taken last week on our mini holiday to Norfolk with Zoë's family. * * * * * * #transformationtuesday #ftm #testosterone #transition #trans #transguy #transgender #ftmtransition #lgbtq #hrt #puberty #beardgains #gingerbeard #beforeandafter #gendertransition #guyswithtattoos

[accio-aj]

So we've reached the end of Pride Month, and even though every month should be pride month I feel I should probably write something for the occasion. So as well as being trans I also identify as Pansexual. I have a cis female partner who also identifies as pansexual. I really love being part of the LGBTQ+ community, but one of the things that still needs to be worked on is the acceptance of "seemingly cis straight couples" in queer spaces. Just because I've been on testosterone, had surgery and pass enough to be seen as a cis male now, and just because Zoë is very feminine and usually perceived as straight, and the fact that to the general public we would usually be seen as a cis straight couple does not mean that we are any less a part of this community. I know alot of people in similar situations to us can also at times feel a little bit shunned, and have our identity questioned not only by the general public but also within our community, which is such a shame. However I'm not going to bother droning on about this issue right now because I'd like to focus on the positive side. Since it's selfiesaturday I've included selfies I've taken with some friends and family that make me so happy and proud to be part of this community. I want to show some appreciation for the online and in person support groups that so many of us are part of, that we can turn to and also find someone that will understand how we're feeling. Show some appreciation for the friends both in and out of our direct community who have consistently loved and supported me through my transition regardless of my gender or sexual identity. Thank you 🤗 #selfiesaturday #selfies #friends #pridemonth #LGBTQ #lgbtcouple #queer #ftm #trans #transgender #transguy #love #acceptance #family #girlfriend #pride #transpride #pansexual #sexuality #tattoos #transisbeautiful #transition

[accio-aj]

Mental Health update - "Brain Zaps" (also I have glasses) Here's the obligatory "I picked up my glasses" photo 👓 I'd been getting headaches alot at work so had an eye test and this is the result. I don't need them all the time as my general vision is good, it's just to help with eye strain etc from being on the computer all day. I had to get junior frames as adult ones were too big for my face 😂 More importantly, I mentioned the other day about having finished coming off my antidepressants, well there's a side effect of the withdrawal that I didn't know about, which has really been freaking me out the last few days not knowing what was happening. Something called "brain zaps" which are described as: "Brain zaps, brain shivers, brain shocks, head shocks or electrical shocks are a common side effect and withdrawal symptom from antidepressants. The symptoms are described as brief but repeated electric shock-like sensations in the brain and head, or originating in the brain but extending to other parts of the body." it's been seriously freaking me out, constantly feeling these jolts through my body, and flashes of blurred vision. Also kept me up last night! hoping they don't last much longer!