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[preserving-tiktok]

[themummersfolly]

Petition to put this guy in charge of traffic enforcement in my state.

[fckmotheringspider]

@aceadrenaline

[sandmandaddy69]

[ironlike]

By Pia Hinz

[xandriel]

@aceadrenaline

[wolfpuppygirl]

A muzzle is like a chastity cage if you like biting enough

[aceadrenaline]

@fckmotheringspider

[hemipenal-system]

you: wait, babe… we can’t fuck yet… you aren’t wearing protection…

your vampire lover: protection? what do you mean prote- oh ok so fuck you first of all

you, holding these:

[hemipenal-system]

...stop saying vondom in the tags

[butterfly-sapphic]

Don't forget to take countraception

[aceadrenaline]

@fckmotheringspider

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[turstrigo]

[ohshititsgreg-deactivated201312]

I like to wear bandaids on my boo boos cause that shows the ladies that yeah I am rugged but I also am cautious about infection

[greelin]

if a vampire were to steady my throat by wrapping their hand around it and maneuvering it so that they can feed from my neck i don’t think they would get anything. On account of all of the blood immediately rushing down to my

[infectiouspiss]

has anyone here heard of vampires i love vampires

[slutdge]

squint for me real quick

[tartrazeen]

Jumpscare?

Penis?

Loss?

What exactly are you presenting me with, OP? 🤔

[tartrazeen]

i mean alright, might as give that a

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

[str-ngeloop]

lol it also works in the notes if someone reblogs it from you 💀💀💀

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[aceadrenaline]

@apparition-roomie

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

I like it when vampires are like werewolves.

People get so bogged down in the classic wealthy victorian vampire aesthetic that the monstrous parts get abstracted. They turn into bats in a poof of smoke. That's not wine in his fancy glass cup wink wink. Drinking blood is sensual and leaves only two perfect fang puncture wounds. Everything is so nice and refined.

Werewolves are allowed to be animalistic. They bite and claw and chew. Their transformations are marred by snapping bones and morphing skulls. They act too feral to be human, even when they look human.

Werewolves and vampires are both driven by instincts. The werewolf is allowed the full range of animal instincts but the vampire is only bound by one: He must feed. In every other way he acts human. This is especially true in the romance genre, where the vampire might be overcome by desire to feed from his paramore. If a vampire is allowed the full range of their monstrosity, either in form or actions, they are delegated to horror stories. You do not see a horrific half man half bat with menbranous wings in twilight. The werewolf is allowed a horrifying transformation while still being the romantic partner.

I just wish there were more vampires who owned their monstrous nature without it being horror you know? Vampires who leave gaping bite marks in their victims necks, who have animal instincts, who are allowed to be a little fucked up actually, who aren't just pretty elves who also happen to drink blood.

[shamebats]

When vampires are portrayed as mainly preying on women that's so unrealistic like I'm sorry but they're too careful especially around strange men. Dudes are much easier. You could literally lurk in a bush in the park at night and call out "whoa look at this fucked up looking squirrel" and have 3 grown men climb in immediately

[thecadhatter]

Also almost every woman I know has low blood pressure and so many are anemic. Men make for much better prey because 1) easy to catch yes and 2) so much more blood

[jewishpangolin]

[brightlotusmoon]

[greelin]

i love when people on here well be like “who DOESN’T want their blood to get sucked ? 🤨” well i hate to break it to you but the average person does not, in fact, want to have their blood get sucked. statistically there is a large amount of people who do not want this to occur. this is shocking and appalling, i know. the world is full of unsettling things

[greelin]

many people do not find the act erotic or intimate. romantic. beautiful. the ultimate bond. what have you. this is because they are not normal. stay safe out there

[medievaljournalist]

a dragon is attacking the city but thankfully im safe in my car

[and-corn]

[aceadrenaline]

@cwri-in-a-corner

[distantvoices]

Fernando Casablancas by Natalie Tauger for Look One October 2023

[aceadrenaline]

@vince-motherfcking-valentine

[ifartconfetti]

Putting your vampire fuckbuddy into the sauna to reach normal body temp before sex so their ice cold hole doesn't kill your boner

[ifartconfetti]

Glad yall are vibing with my very important thoughts on the undead

[emil]

vampire sex. oh my god. are you kidding me. oh my god.