A hot dog bun is like an MRI machine, yes?
If you put a human in a hot dog bun it would be like an MRI. Discuss.
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@acefawn
A hot dog bun is like an MRI machine, yes?
If you put a human in a hot dog bun it would be like an MRI. Discuss.
Me: *is a genuinely nice person and shows strangers kindness*
Strangers: *are nice to me in return*
Me:
this is the reunion we all want
so we were inspired
🎶it's 1am and I can't sleep, can't believe I'm back on this goddamn hellsite after all these years🎶
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!
Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?
Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.
Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.
Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!
Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?
Elizabethan husband: Wife, ho! Bring forth my keys!
Elizabethan wife: [throws a writing slope before him]
Elizabethan husband: My keys, my keys! What, hast thou not ears?
Elizabethan wife: I thought thou said writing slope.
Elizabethan husband: Devil take thee; why would I say writing slope?
Elizabethan daughter: Harken father! Tis the valorous kush!
Elizabethan father: Thou art in the petty market; how valorous mayest it be?
Elizabethan Peasant: Good morrow, my fine fellows! Thou mayest call me Jared, I has’t seen 19 years upon the Good Lord’s green earth, but I am melancholic, for I must admit it was not my privilege to learn to decipher script.
Elizabethan Scholar: whosoever didst throw that crumpled parchment: thine mother is naught but a poxy trollop
hjönk hjönk, the hjönkening is upon us
I know it's you @ace-fawn and I want to say one thing and one thing only:
We shall rise, brothers
dere you go
ey
ey you lil shits
lets just talk about this here cookie recipe
this shit
is
the
BOMB
HOLY SHIT
I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WOW IT TASTES AMAZING
YES
WONDERFUL
1000000/10 WOULD ATE AGAIN
For magic improvements on thing that is already perfect:
Use one spoon white sugar, and one spoon brown if you have it.
After microwave, before noms, add vanilla ice cream.
\o/
salt is a flavour enhancer, add just a tiny dash, not enough to make it salty.
Because I love you all.
reblogging cause i need to save this
A note for those who have trouble measuring butter with a spoon as I do: one cup I am sixteen tablespoons. Butter/margarine bricks are usually a half a cup, so just cut one eighth of that amount
These are really good! And yes, for the love of god, if you have it use white sugar and brown sugar, add just a pinch of salt, and as many chocolate chips as you darn well please. Great with icecream, whipped cream on top, or a tall glass of milk (keep in mind you gotta eat it with a spoon, you can’t dip it in milk)
Super college friendly (trust me)
I actually tried this just now...
holy shit this is good
I put a spoonful of peanut butter instead of chocolate chips (we didn't have any) and oh. my. god. this is amazing, 10/10 would recommend
how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr
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the-universe-at-large
roach:
how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr
YES YOU DID
high-saffron
the more you reblog this the more it breaks
the-universe-at-large
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO
dangergays
literally what is happening @staff you dun goofd
i tried to reblog this and the stupid app just crashed
I must spread the chaos of this post
What-
I like it and my phone crashed
how’s everyone doing tonight I’m helping to break tumblr hehe
Ahahha Yes.
Time to destroy tumblr and reduce it into ashes
Happy 2020
In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.
“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.”
“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”
My heart wtf
Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.
POV Fantasy slice of life book when?
“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”
“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”
SHOOK
So, this post has fucked me up so much for yeeeears that I started telling people in real life so their lives can be ruined too!
I love one (1) mandadlorian
Dormant Predators
This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20.
reblog for that last bit to save a life
If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move.
You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!
That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.
Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?
Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.
Sharing for all the safety items!!
How intrusive thoughts feel as you over analyze them
How they actually be
Thats genuinely really funny thank you 😂
Remember: Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that you don't want!! They are not thoughts that you initially have!! They don't make your opinions!! You are NOT your intrusive thiughts!!!
disaster exorcist. pesters demons into leaving. walks into a room with a bowl of fresh holy water and “accidentally” trips, spilling it onto whoever’s possessed. makes the sign of the cross when demons aren’t looking then acts nonchalant when they turn around, backs sizzling.
exorcist: flower of christ [blows dandelion] demon: [sneezes] exorcist: bless you demon, vibrating angrily: Humanity Is Unworthy. exorcist: amen to that demon:
Exorcist: Wow, kinda hot in here, can you open the window?
Demon: Oh, ok
*opens window to see a cross on the lawn*
Demon:
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Free Resources:
an interactive timeline of LGBT+ world history
The 1950s and the Roots of LGBT Politics (American-centric)
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
a brief history of the bisexual movement from the 1960s-early 2000s (American-centric)
Bisexual.org has a TON of resources on bi (and often pan) history, historical figures, research, and media
“Here’s A History Of Bisexuality, From Ancient Egypt To Stonewall”
a brief timeline of trans history, beginning in the 1890s (European and American-centric)
“Gender Variance Around the World Over Time”
Some Purchasable Resources:
(most of these can be bought used online for pretty cheap and some can be found in libraries)
Before Stonewall: Activists for Gay and Lesbian Rights in Historical Context by Vern L Bullough (it’s a bit dated, but still informative)
A Little Gay History: Desire and Diversity Across the World by R. Parkinson
Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women (Intersections) by Leila J. Rupp
Gay Voices of the Harlem Renaissance (Blacks in the Diaspora) by A.B. Christa Schwarz
The Lavender Scare: The Cold War Persecution of Gays and Lesbians in the Federal Government by David K. Johnson
Queer Brown Voices: Personal Narratives of Latina/o LGBT Activism edited by Uriel Quesada, Letitia Gomez, and Salvador Vidal Ortiz
Transgender History: The Roots of Today’s Revolution by Susan Stryker
Asegi Stories: Cherokee Queer and Two-Spirit Memory by Qwo-Li Driskill
Weak Trope: Having a character’s driving motivation be REVENGE up until the last second when they pull the “revenge won’t bring my wife/sister/town/three-eared dog back” and leave the bastard they’ve been hunting down alive.
Strong Trope: Hello! My Name! Is Inigo Montoya! You Killed My Father! Prepare! TO! DIE! *corners count rugen* Beg for your life *slashes cheek* Offer me anything I want in the world! *slashes other cheek* I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON OF A BITCH. *stabs count rugen to death*
of course you love the concept of “found family” you dumb slut, you’re gay