It's Like You're Dissecting My Brain!

Writer

[emilyparagraph]

how to explain to your best friend that you know you're hot and a catch and you're proud of your accomplishments but it's frustrating because despite being hot and a catch and accomplished it feels like no one around you agrees or cares about these things in a way that attracts them to you romantically and after being single for the vast majority of your life you really want to find love and settle down but that in fact requires someone else to find you hot and a catch and accomplished, which you ARE but apparently not in a way that appeals to most people so it's like you're on stage tapdancing your heart out but the audience just sits in silence and that would in fact discourage ANYONE from thinking they're the hot accomplished catch they know they are bc what does your own opinion on the matter mean if no one else agrees?

[guooey]

[stargoyle]

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

[goatsandgangsters]

an interesting linguistics find! so I'm reading this text from 1908 and it keeps referencing "hp" in the context of "not being at full hp" "applying your full hp to a task" etc

and I'm like....... okay that is a perfectly normal way to describe energy and reads totally clear to me, but I KNOW you don't mean hit points/health points which is the first place my brain goes, so what are YOU using hp to mean

and it's not explained in-text, which means it was common enough to not warrant explanation to the 1908 audience, so gotta look elsewhere

horsepower. turns out it's horsepower.

and I'm absolutely FASCINATED that a commonly used initialism from 1908 now stands for something different AND YET the contextual meaning is still the same to a 21st-century reader

I could hand this guy my nintendo switch and he'd be like, ah yes I understand, this ''''pokemon'''' loses horsepower throughout the fight

language is amazing

[gondorrevealparty]

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

[gondorrevealparty]

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

[aviancali]

"Your place or mine?" 💘

[queercanelady]

how it is apparently

[robotblues]

Leptodeira septentrionalis eating frog’s eggs Photo by ahctin on Instagram

[bedupolker]

me in the chia seed pudding

[finalgirlguy]

2026 is gonna be the year of banging your head against a wall. in 2027 maybe we can do other things

[chryza]

*scrolls past, normal post for tumblr*

.

*sCROLLS BACK UP*

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPONSORED. THERES NO OTHER TEXT. ITS JUST THIS.

[brawnie]

taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to

[brawnie]

2016 tumblr porn: straight up just a gif of penis in vagina

2025 tumblr porn: video of someone slowly bringing a magnet to a CRT tv screen while static is playing

[fishefishefishe]

[sevcon-iii]

But that's not a cat

[the-official-goose-god]

yes it is

[maryland-officially]

I've seen this fucking post 8 times

[subconscious-deactivated20230229]

And you’ll see it again

[maryland-officially]

FUCK THIS IS LIKE THE 12TH TIME

[subconscious-deactivated20230229]

So uhhh

Keep going then?

[maryland-officially]

ZKfnckfcsmcldkc

[sushi1056]

@maryland-officially

[maryland-officially]

............whhhyyy

[sometimesagenderlessvoid]

@maryland-officially

[maryland-officially]

I will never be free of this post

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Why is this ostrich so pink? Is it part flamingo?

[mango-kitty-art]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[sweetwithheatwriting]

@hellenhighwater @copperbadge

[copperbadge]

These popcorns are very spicy.

[reaja]

He is shaped.

💁🦋

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[tuttle-did-it]

When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)

When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.

But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.

They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.

This was maybe 6-7 years ago.

I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.

We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.

Crows are the very best birds.