The Dumb @adipemdragon - Tumblr Blog

i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

deanwinchesterapologist

>settings

>onions

>my onions

>caramelize my onions

wizardelf

grawly

zangoonse

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

the staccato trumpet trills from the end of TANK! but they just keep going

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP

rose-blumen

Visit Original Link

I have been prepared for this moment for like 2 months

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

holy shit i am in tears

teaboot

There is a reality not so far from our own in which Ratitouille (2007) was filmed as an avant-garde conceptual horror akin to Eraserhead (1977)

tigerator

draconym

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

draconym

daveedmee

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

abandonedniche

oh so some people can just listen to a song and understand the lyrics

abandonedniche

what if you’re all lying

abandonedniche

not even an exaggeration

dogpuppy

madcaker

creekfiend

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

tuftedpygmysquirrel

Hello.

creekfiend

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

tuftedpygmysquirrel

I can go upside down.

creekfiend

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

despazito

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

orcboxer

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

sneebertdeebert

Sneebert Deebert

orcboxer

borzoibabe

did you know?

- the menu at a restaurant is not an ingredient list you can use to create new dishes we could hypothetically make for you instead of the choices on the menu

- we do not have omelets on the menu because we do not make or serve omelets

- yes, i know we have eggs on the menu, but we still do not have omelets.

- yes, i realize omelets are eggs, but not all eggs are omelets, and the eggs we serve are not omelets.

- you cannot out-logic me so that i cave in and ring in an omelet for you. i am better at arguing than you are.

- there are no omelets here. there have not been, and will not be, omelets here. if you want an omelet you will need to go somewhere else.

- i can also promise that you do not want an omelet cooked by line cooks who have not been trained how to make omelets. because we don't sell omelets.

- no, i am not going to single-handedly put service on pause for the next twenty minutes while three cooks google how to make an omelet and then proceed to fuck up multiple omelets that our kitchen is not set up to prepare, so you can have an omelet.

-and we both know you'd bitch if it takes longer than six minutes to come out anyway.

- no, you may not just go back into the kitchen and make yourself an omelet. the line cooks do not take kindly to trespassing. also, what the hell.

- i hear that you want an omelet. that does not change the fact that we do not offer omelets. if you want to eat an omelet, you will need to go to another restaurant that does have omelets on the menu. this is not negotiable.

- i am the manager.

- yeah, alright, go fuck yourself too, bob.