Corporate Glossary: every Friday, learn the secret meaning of common corporate words
“They’re trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?” She asked.
As soon as I heard the term ‘Constructive Discharge,’ I knew I’d never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.
“No. What does it mean?” I asked.
She explained.
“Constructive discharge is a fancy way of saying “being forced out.” It’s not good. And if you’re not a lawyer or in human resources, you’ll probably learn what it means when it’s happening to you.”
“Oh my God. I’ve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.” I thought.
You’ve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. We’ve all made choices to avoid it.
Constructive discharge defined
“We can’t fire you, but we’ll make you so miserable you’ll quit, and then we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”
Then there’s the textbook definition:
“A constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.”
Or as one person put it.
“I didn’t get handed a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.”
HR isn’t always the secret police.
Employees aren’t always victims of evil-doers.
However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, “We didn’t do anything wrong, YOU did,” power structure.
Constructive Discharge looks like this:
— Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and you’re excluded from emails and generally looped out of what’s going on.
— People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.
— Your emails don’t get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.
— Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.
— Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.
— Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.
— Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your “poor performance”
— Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.
— The words “Set up to fail” were practically invented to describe this scenario.
Constructive Discharge is illegal
It isn’t easy to prove you’re a target, and it’s even more challenging if you don’t even know constructive discharge is a real thing.
If you’ve ever experienced this and don’t fully understand what’s happening to you beyond knowing you’re in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. It’s not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.
Talk to anyone who’s ever been through it. They’ll tell you.
Knowing constructive discharge exists and how it’s used gives you power to predict what’s coming and to protect yourself.
Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.
You know what to expect. Having a sense of what’s coming next is enormously empowering.
You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.
Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employer’s endgame.
Remember, they’re almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesn’t persuade you to quit.
If you’re getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.
You’re not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and it’s carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.
If they force you out, in addition to feeling horrible, you lose your paycheck, benefits health insurance, and possibly owe them money.
YES-AND. IF YOU HAVE NEVER READ A SINGLE ADDITION I HAVE MADE TO A POST, READ THIS ONE.
In the US, you have A FEDERAL RIGHT to communicate to your boss that you see what they’re doing, and by so doing, YOU RETAIN YOUR RIGHT TO UNEMPLOYMENT—EVEN IF YOU QUIT!!!
Here’s how it works.
1) go to work tomorrow and read the employee rights poster. By law, they’re required to have one, and they’re usually located in the breakroom. It looks something like this:
Usually, this will be posted next to a state labor laws poster, as well. (Also required by law, but I have seen them posted in two separate locations due to a building having a stupid wall layout, so if you don’t see both, do some poking.) There are a few different styles of these posters, but they’re all basically variations on a theme, so you should be able to recognize yours from the image posted above. I’ve read them hundreds of times in the last eight years, just to keep my memory fresh. If you don’t see such a poster, contact your state labor board, because that is VERY ILLEGAL. The law is unambiguous on this: the poster must be posted in a highly-visible (to employees) location that is readily accessible. Not in your boss’s office, not in HR, not on the back of the fridge. Highly visible, readily accessible, REQUIRED BY LAW. If you have to contact the labor board on this one, skip straight to step 2b while you’re at it, because your boss is up to some shady shit.
2a) now that you’ve had the primer of your rights as an employee, if everything is good for you, great! Keep an eye out and revisit these from time to time to be sure you’re not missing anything, especially if things start feeling rough. If things are NOT good for you, progress to 2b.
2b) if you suspect you’re the target of constructive discharge, DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING. Dates too, if you can remember them, although if you’re trying to remember “as far back as you can go” when you begin to document, your dates might be a little hazier. Ask for personal hard copies of any consultations, write-ups, improvement plans, reviews, etc. and so forth that you receive. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS DOCUMENTATION. Keep all of this in a file. If any of your coworkers make comments on what’s happening to you, note those down too: “on 1 July I called to inform my supervisor I’d be late due to an unexpected flat tire. I arrived six minutes after my shift was due to begin. I received a corrective action form. My coworker Linda commented that she was surprised, because although this is my first tardy in over three years, other employees with repeated, significantly more severe tardies do not receive corrective action forms. My supervisor did not explain why he felt I required this form after a single incident of tardiness.” If you know what you’re being asked to do is illegal, MAKE THAT CLEAR IN YOUR DOCUMENTATION. “After hearing me mention to Sarah that I was hoping for a raise, supervisor Paul asked to have a one-on-one and required me to sign a form stating I would not discuss my salary, in contravention of state and federal law.”
3) when you feel you have sufficient evidence that Some Bullshit Is Afoot, it’s time to write to your HR department. Instructions on how to do this will be on that poster (sorry, I’m home and getting ready for bed, I don’t have this part memorized), but basically you’re going to be telling them that conditions have deteriorated such that you may be forced to resign if they don’t improve. Note that the phrase “forced to resign” is IMPORTANT AS HELL. Make sure you keep a hard copy of this letter for yourself.
4) You now have to give them 10-14 days to read, respond, and implement changes (I forget the exact number of days but it’s in there somewhere). CONTINUE TO DOCUMENT.
5) best case scenario, they realize they done fucked up, and things will change for the better. More likely scenario, you have to quit. HOWEVER, if you have followed all of these steps correctly, you can still claim unemployment.
6) now go contact the IWW for information on how to start talking union to your coworkers before it gets this far: www.iww.org
And finally, a note because this has happened to me and statistically either has or will happen to some of you:
If at any time the poor conditions should escalate to include sexual assault or harassment by a supervisor, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, CALL THE LABOR BOARD IMMEDIATELY. Make an EXACT record of what happened: write down statements verbatim, if you were touched inappropriately make note of exactly how and where, if you were offered any kind of quid pro quo (e.g., a promotion in exchange for oral sex; sex in exchange for continued employment) make note of EXACTLY what was offered and asked for. It is 100% okay to call the labor board and say “I don’t know what to do, my boss groped my breasts today and told me he’d have a talk with his supervisor about my pay rate ‘if I was nice’. Please tell me what to do, I’m afraid if I quit I’ll lose unemployment.” Someone will be able to help you. In cases like these, do not wait. This is also true if you’re blatantly racially or religiously discriminated against. Please note when I say “blatant,” that’s a much higher standard than what Tumblr understands as blatant. If your boss says you’re pretty cool for an N-word, call. If your boss makes a disparaging comment about doo-rags, document and hold your horses for now. (Is that a microaggression? Yes. Is that something the labor board will find actionable? Not on its own.)
Stay safe out there. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
I have been through this, so let me add some tech-industry specific advice:
If you’ve been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan, ask for digital and hard copies of the plan that have been signed by HR.
If you have the strength to do it, accept the PIP, and indulge in malicious compliance. Do everything exactly as it’s outlined in the PIP document and nothing more. Overachieving against a PIP won’t help your situation, but don’t quit.
Keep copies of every email and message related to your PIP on a separate USB.
Find your company handbook. It is probably hidden somewhere on an internal website. Save a copy to the USB so you can research it for ANYTHING that might help you negotiate with HR at the end.
Keep all of your notes on the same USB.
Always assume your work computer has spyware on it.
None of this will help you keep your job. Remember that. All of this is to help you negotiate with HR when it’s time to review your PIP performance. WHEN they say you didn’t meet the goals that were outlined, refer to your stack of documentation and give specific examples of where you met those goals. Ask HR what the next steps are. Your ultimate goal is to make HR suggest that you and the company part ways.
DO NOT AGREE TO THAT MAGIC STATEMENT. That’s when you start negotiating the terms of the company letting you go. The things I politely demanded AND GOT in writing:
3 months salary.
All remaining vacation time paid out.
Continued insurance coverage for 3 months.
A guarantee of a good reference if any potential employer asked for one.
A guarantee that the company would not contest my unemployment claim.
After all of that was signed and I had digital and physical copies of that paperwork, I told HR that my last day of work would be the following day. Remember that at that point, you don’t owe them anything, including two weeks notice. Say your goodbyes and walk away.
gosh, this would have been handy to know while I was still trying to maintain my sanity in an increasingly hostile workplace environment
I was lucky enough to have allies elsewhere in the organization who helped me transfer and keep doing the important parts of my job (and greatly expand the good stuff!), but at least a decade of hell wrought such psychic damage that I doubt I'll ever fully recover
One Piece characters who placed in the 2022 yumejoshi poll
Every year, Japanese women are asked about their fictional crushes. Here's the One Piece characters who made it into the top 100, as well as a comment or two from the women who were polled.
54th Place: Sir Crocodile
Comment: I didn't like him in the Alabasta arc where he plays the role of the boss. "What kind of bad-tempered and lascivious villain is this guy... don't make Vivi cry...!" But in the cover story series depicting the aftermath of Baroque Works, I really started to like him! If you interpret all the things he says to Luffy up until now as him talking to himself deep inside... what a clumsy and delicate man...! I really like that he doesn't hold a grudge, and that he respects commitment. He has a lot of lovely points, but I will omit them. It would be a problem if too many people fell in love with him... I would like to be his maid or secretary and accompany him to make his dream come true. Also, his body is too lewd. How did that happen?
42nd Place: Eustass Kidd
Comment: I like men who are good-looking, passionate, and passionate about their dreams and humanity. A while ago, it was revealed that his ship was named after his (and Killer's!) First love. This shook all of his fangirls! I was upset, because the living cannot beat the dead when it comes to romance...
39th Place: Shanks
Comment: It’s been a long time since I watched One Piece, but I saw the new movie just for him!
22nd Place: Uta
Comments:
I saw her show many times and wanted to save her no matter what, so I sucked it up and went searching for fanfiction! (Translator's note: the actual term is "dream novels" not fanfiction. Dream novels are kind of like x reader fic iirc.)
I am on Uta's side. Take me to the new world.
6th Place: Trafalgar Law
Comments:
This year, I found myself falling in love. I'm scared.
He seems really cold, but he's easily convinced to go to a divas live show that he isn't interested in... kind of cute! If I have one complaint, it's that the polar bear has a higher priority than me! (I like that too)
I have realized that the perfect form of media must have a delicate balance between absolutely heart wrenching pure emotional devastation and the most ridiculous nonsense you have ever seen in your whole life
moleskine makes people hate pens and is probably a huge part of why so many people give up on good pens.
to folks who might not know, moleskine is extremely famous AND infamous. they are hardcover notebooks with elastic enclosures. they are expensive, and sold everywhere from pharmacies to bookstores, and does collaborations with a variety of brands including james bond and pokemon. moleskine has tried to establish itself as a luxury notebook, which it technically is.
as long as you do not write in it.
moleskine paper is wholeheartedly shit. it is complete fucking garbage. you might wonder, what makes good paper? well the first thing is how well it can be written on. good paper can handle ink well. good ink handling means clear, solid lines without any feathering (fuzzy spreading), not bleeding through the page, and not ghosting. basically, you want paper that can do crisp lines with a variety of different inks and be used on both sides.
moleskine does not do that. anything more than a ballpoint or pencil will look fuzzy and gross and bleed right through the fucking page. the paper is shit. and that makes people think their pen is shit. and ballpoint pens can be seen on the other side of the page.
common knowledge is that fountain pens, rollerball pens, gel pens, felt pens, and more work better on good paper. good meaning good with ink. but when many people think good paper without knowing any better, they will reach for a moleskine notebook. because moleskine is expensive and advertises itself as good and is widely available. so people try out actually good writing implements on this shit paper, see how bad it works, and then blame the pen.
fountain pens, gel pens, and rollerball require much less pressure than ballpoint pens. they are ergonomic. easier on joints, easier for chronic pain. and moleskine makes people give up on them. nobody wants shitty bleeding feathered lines.
in the united states, our ideas of good paper and good stationery in general are extremely warped. so much of this is because paper here fucking sucks. a lot of paper performs like moleskine. there is shit paper at all price ranges. but you can pick up caliber brand paper (the ones that say made in vietnam) from cvs and have infinitely better performance for pennies. even though it looks low quality, caliber paper (vietnam) can even handle calligraphy ink clearly. bad paper makes people hate good pens and bad pens make people hate writing.
another thing really important to mention, a lot of people think thick paper is always better. this is extremely wrong. in terms of being able to handle a wide variety of inks clearly and cleanly, some of the best paper in the world is tissue thin (tomoe river).
do not buy moleskine. even if the stand is right there. they have some of the worst paper you can get at that price point. expensive paper is not always good paper, good pens need good paper, moleskine paper makes good pens seem awful, and moleskine is something you should only give to someone you loathe.
God Moleskine is such a frustrating product, and as an aspiring stationer, I hate that it’s so popular in North America. They’re beautifully constructed, yes, but god the 70gsm paper that they use is SUCH GARBAGE when it comes to inks wetter than a ballpoint pen. They do offer heavier paper - 100-200gsm weight - but only in extremely expensive, large, or difficult to find products.
Leuchtturm 1917 produces great sketching books and, if you get their 120gsm notebooks, they hold up to inks fantastically. Their standard notebooks come in 80gsm paper, and that does hold up to fountain pen ink much better than Moleskine, but while you do get much less feathering and bleeding, there is still some bleedthrough with wetter pens.
Now, if you want the finest fountain pen paper I’ve found in a notebook format, you want Maruman’s Mnemosyne 183. It’s also an 80gsm paper, but it’s treated and laid in such a way that there’s no feathering or bleeding, even with a very wet fountain pen.
That said though, honestly the best notebook I have, in terms of accessibility, expense, and quality of paper, is a Brandz United notebook that I got for my birthday a few years back. It’s not anything special, in terms of paper weight - I can’t find anything concrete, but it feels like 80gsm to me - but it barely feathers and you need to really saturate the page for it to bleed through.
Also, if you’re looking for loose paper, I highly recommend Tomoe River’s paper - so fine and thin you can practically see through it, but it holds ink like a sponge, doesn’t bleed, has no feathering, and is smooth as glass. For correspondence, though, I am a fan of G. Lalo’s Pur Vélin, which is a 125gsm 50% cotton and 50% wood pulp paper. It’s absolutely beautiful and has just enough grain to it that there’s a super pleasant tactile feedback when you’re writing.
And if you want to go a lil’ bit fancy with gorgeous designs (and I mean GORGEOUS designs), look up Castelli.
My current fave. No feathering, no bleeding, works perfect with ballpoint pens and with fountain pens, and the paper is super smooth. I’ve literally written novels in these fuckers. Also: cheaper than moleskine.
@jimtheviking already mentioned Leuchtturm; I’m adding Black n’ Red, Clairefontaine and Rhodia.
All have better paper than Moleskine, which has been milking its early reputation for years while product quality went downhill. Now they’re just another Lifestyle Accessory for people who shop by brand-name.
ClaireFontaine’s paper is great no matter which books you get [or loose] but the age bag and Europa notebooks are my absolute fave, I buy them in batches to handwrite in with a fountain pen, and their sketching books, hardcover 90gsm is AMAZING if you draw with inks, especially crow and spoon pens, no bleeding, feathering and no catching with the sharp points
I have a notebook from Dollarama for $1.25 five or six years ago that handles my fountain pen’s ink better than a luxury grade notebook my mother found once and gave to me. Paper quality is SO important.
Not worth a grand!? Are you fucki g kidding me? the time, the detail, and the intricacies alone are worth it for something like this. Especially if it's a custom piece. Not even mentioning the cost of good supplies to make the damn thing... if you think it costs too much you try mastering a craft like this and make it your damn self. I'd like to see you try
UPDATE because apparently not everyone has seen this yet the new and improved version of this is a MEGA folder: https://mega.nz/folder/kQBXHKwA#-osWRLNCXAsd62ln8wKa8w
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