tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
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@aestheticate
tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
A whippoorwill from Nebraska Wildlife Rehab's instagram. They are responsible for the music.
this little dj isnt responsible for shit right now, you arrested him
if we made everything legal the crime rate would drop to zero. follow for more judicial lifehacks
post cancelled i cant take this
Good to see the tradition of making Lucifer too hot to be part of a religious display is alive and well among sculpters.
people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??
thats not the word I meant to use
None of these words are in the bible.
au contraire, mon ami
dont weird pussy, that's woke stale. penis absolute.
i’m sorry cock is in the bible?
Matthew 26:34 KJV
Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
huh i didn’t know edging was in the bible either
Of course it is, they've been waiting over two thousand years for the second coming
computer security is really funny because it's like. "well. if the wrong pattern of electrons appears on the end of this cable, the machine will spontaneously tell someone my bank account details."
like I want to be like, don't worry, malicious links aren't some kind of Langford basilisk-style infohazard, where it is dangerous to even see them. that's not how computers work. but also the way computers do work is kind of obscene. that zero-click exploit in iMessage worked by disguising a PDF as a gif and then exploiting flaws in the PDF parser's compression algorithm that amount to an entire Turing-complete computer in of themselves, which they use to write data into a forbidden part of memory and thereby take control of your phone and spy on you. every step in that chain makes some kind of sense to me but laying it all out like that it's like, that's fucked up man
in a sense it's like computers are just too good at what they do. they're so damn horny to do arbitrary calculations that you really have to work very hard to stop them.
so I really can't blame anyone for being anxious. even it does sorta feel like I'm a witch being asked 'my neighour gave me the evil eye, will my unborn child be cursed'
The bit in your smartphone that tells it whether it's being held in a portrait or landscape orientation can be used as a really shitty microphone. This means that no matter how good the software security is on the actual sound recording part of your phone, someone can use the accelerometer (generally less protected and easier to find an innocent excuse for an app to access) to wiretap you. Whether or not the actual microphone is being used.
I'm unaware of anybody actually doing this except as a whitehat infosec gimmick though.
#and all that's why the security answer to smart phones is do not allow them anywhere near secure conversations
Me installing a silly beer drinking illusion novelty app on my phone and then walking into the break room on Monday with it in my pocket: god this place is so secure. Hey who wants to hear a silly story about IT and my troubles resetting my office computer password? It's fine, nobody who doesn't work here could POSSIBLY hear us.
Coworker who just installed a new photo app yesterday: Sure, let's get lunch; let me go grab the phone that I left at my desk. Yeah my desk next to the coworker discussing sensitive account information with a client.
Other coworker who likes mobile games: I'd love to join you but I have to contact the bank and answer all of my security questions and then go home and have a very private, sensitive and potentially embarrassing conversation alone with my wife.
#sorry the accelerometer bit has me fucked up#HOW can it possibly record sound. i'm not denying this but... holy shit how the fuck does technology even work
It records sound very badly and in a pretty limited frequency range. Accelerometers detect movement. Sound is back-and-forth movement. If the sound wave moves the accelerometer and the acc is sensitive enough to notice it, it's picking up that sound wave. It can do it from a pocket but it works much much better if you put the phone on a table or something and pick up the movement of the table as it moves the phone.
You can also use the same principle to eavesdrop on people in a room from several blocks away by shining a stationary laser on a glass window to measure the movement in the glass! This is apparently a trick that the US government uses, but I have no idea if it's something they actually do a lot in practice or just one of the many, many technologies that sit dormant on their books.
There was also a proof of concept a few years ago where they could reverse-engineer what someone was typing from the keyboard sounds. (I assume it requires you to know how far away the keyboard is, but idk.)
It's all just new variations on the Cap'n Crunch slide whistle trick really, isn't it. Everything makes or listens to sound eventually and if you can find some way to fuck with that, the world is yours.
…I'm sorry, cap'n crunch slide whistle trick?
I don't know how the modern systems work but analogue phones, and therefore the early internet, used to do everything via sound. When you dial a number, each button you press would make a specific sound down the phone line and it would listen tot he sound sequence to know who you were calling (that's why pushing the numbers makes all those fun different tones). Thing is, the phone line has no way of knowing whether a signal is coming from a phone or computer, or something else. Phreakers would learn the sound codes and imitate them with manual machines in order to trick the phone lines.
One of the cheap shitty toys that you used to be able to get in cereal boxes was a plastic whistle that came in Cap'n Crunch. It whistled at the exact right tone to let someone make free long distance calls.
Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy
State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.
........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.
There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.
And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.
And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.
Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.
Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.
Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"
The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.
The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.
RABBITS! RABBITS! RABBITS!
Reblog this on the first of the month for good luck all month long!
edward and alphonse wandering across amestris for 3.5 years looking for a way to return to their original bodies: mustang can we get a philosopher's stone?
mustang: you have a philosopher's stone at home
the philosopher's stone at home:
It's a beautiful day and you are an Apocalypse Goose
im sure theres a word denoting the divide btwn what you believe as a citizen of civic society and what you believe as an animal with anger synapses. as a civic citizen i do not believe in the death penalty nor do i think anyone deserves to die for being stupid on twitter. as an ape,
I feel like making this distinction would also help with venting. "I acknowledge my feelings are irrational and primitive, and would never wish death on another human being. That being said, the asshole who slammed a door in my face deserves to be eaten alive by ants."
cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn
you come onto my post and be funnier than me
goat fight. non-negotiable.
#LISTEn listen most marvel fights feel so contrived and fake and like la-dee-da-superhero#but this one was REAL and had me on the edge of my seat and still does#partially bc of the street clothes not costumes#partially because steve is fighting 1 on 1 and gets stripped of his shield quick#and he has to show like his physical combat skills#and the ACTING on both their parts.. fucking ace#esp chris evans tho like his face looks PANICKED how often do u see captain fucking america panicked??#anyway in this essay i will (tags via @asterlark)
I think it’s also very important that this is a fight in which the characters *actually interact with their environment* in a way that feels real. Like, yes, have superpowers but there’s no cartoon physics involved, no obvious sense that this was filmed on an empty set with a greenscreen and the background was added later, or that they’re filming without even the people they’re fighting being present, just ‘look over here and make a hand gesture’. The shield gets stuck in a car, there’s that awful moment of the knife sliding along the side of the van that cues up with the mounting tension in the soundtrack. Bucky’s arm impacts the pavement and actually dents it, etc. They’re jumping over/behind the cars and getting thrown into them/into the pavement in a way that feels more visceral than just ‘whoosh there was a wire & we CGI’d in the rest’. t has a sense of real world space to it, and that adds to the feeling of real world stakes.
god i love this movie.
LetThemFight.gif
oh snap
REBLOG.
FOREVER.
This is an actual Therapist Recommended method for dealing with a runaway “inner critic” and this comic is perfect ❤️
MANNY JACINTO + tumblr/reddit/twitter/tik tok text posts
today's bird is this green heron inspecting a bug
Hes inspecting that bug real well