Classified

[ironman-tonystark]

People are always having a go at me for wanting to put up Iron Man posters but Clint will wear all the Hawkeye merchandise he can get his hands on and no one says shit.

[agent-mariahill]

There's Hawkeye merch?? I thought he made those himself.

[ironman-tonystark]

Clint thought it would be a funny prank to switch the Cap's shields. Not only did they not even notice it had happened for most of the day, when they finally did, they just chuckled a little and politely handed it back. It was funny when Clint threw a fit about them not being any fun though.

[agent-mariahill]

That's funny. He also threw a fit when someone swapped his bow for Kate's.

[ironman-tonystark]

I'm starting to think Cap believes the walls will collapse if he doesn't lean against them, he does it so much.

[cap-steverogers]

It's my casual stance, okay?

[agent-mariahill]

He either leans against them (casual stance) or breaks through them with his shield (fight stance). There is no in between.

[agent-mariahill]

What's the easiest way to lose an Avenger?

Bring them to the Olympics.

Fury said it will be "fun team building." 🙄

It's just an exercise in herding cats. Lots of stray cats.

[ironman-tonystark]

A whole section of my wardrobe is set aside for when crop tops and booty shorts come back into style. I'm starting to think I might just have to make that happen myself.

[clint-anon]

Please don't

[cap-steverogers]

Please don't.

[samandredwing]

Please don't.

[agentsharoncarter]

They've been back in style for at least a year now.

[agent-mariahill]

Please. Don't.

[ironman-tonystark]

The problem with Hill is; she won't tell you when her birthday is, and then gets mad at you if you forget.

[dragonsrequiem]

Wait… are you saying you can’t access someone’s personnel files via J.A.R.V.I.S. ?

[ironman-tonystark]

The irony of making a post about how good Hill is at hiding information about herself and having Tumblr not know enough about her to get the joke.

[agent-mariahill]

Joke's on you. I don't have a personnel file anymore. Also, I don't get mad; I get even.

[agent-mariahill]

Not sure who thought potluck Thanksgiving dinner was a good idea, but I have a pool going on who sets off the smoke detectors first.

[ironman-tonystark]

Yes, I did specifically make the vents wide enough to fit the Hawkeyes in it. Sometimes I leave blankets and treats there for them too.

[agent-mariahill]

Oh so that's why the whole building smells like Swedish fish now that the heat is on.

[thor-the-mighty]

I do not understand this need to do paperwork after a battle when I am here on Midgard.

I still do it though, because Hill terrifies me.

[agent-mariahill]

Damn straight.

[agent-mariahill]

Some con goer asked me for a photo op on 10th Ave and I just glared at them and kept walking.

I don't know how the Avengers walk by Times Square all the time.

[ironman-tonystark]

Rhodey and I woke up in a motel room in Canada with no I.D. and the only a clown costume and the bottom half of a pantomime horse to wear. Neither of us have any idea how we got here. And if that doesn't mark a successful party, I don't know what does.

[justcallme-bucky]

I thought i was reading a new chapter in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for a second...

[agent-mariahill]

Times like these are why all the Avengers are, for lack of a better word, microchipped.

[clint-anon]

I just woke up in the vents. What the hell happened last night?

[agent-mariahill]

You don't have clearance for that information.

[ironman-tonystark]

It seems a little unfair that Steve gets all the fireworks for his birthday, so get ready for Independence Day round two this weekend when Sam turns forty-five.

[agent-mariahill]

While I know that the July 4th fireworks aren't actually for Steve's birthday, I support this and I will bring popcorn.

[agent-mariahill]

Go undercover as a pop singer for a hot second and it haunts you for life.

[justcallme-bucky]

Bucky how is your day going? I think your the coolest!

I don't want to jinx anything, but it's been pretty quiet so far.

[agent-mariahill]

Oh, you don't get the "all hands on deck" notices, do you? The rest of us have been cleaning up this mess uptown.

[ironman-tonystark]

I wonder if I told the team I was bankrupt could I get them to agree to do a swimsuit calendar to raise money.

[justcallme-bucky]

No.

[cap-steverogers]

No.

[samandredwing]

Maybe.

[deadpool-unikrnlvr]

Shaved and ready.

[agent-mariahill]

You know I can fact check just about everything, right?

[ironman-tonystark]

What are your thoughts on spiderman?

That there's a hyphen between spider and man.

[friendlyneighbourhoodhero]

I actually dont care how they spell my name Mr. Stark. As long as they dont call me something weird..

[deadpool-unikrnlvr]

Then you ain't Spider-Man....

[friendlyneighbourhoodhero]

People mess my name up so much that I just stopped caring. Like, why should I keep correcting them if they're just gonna call me whatever they want?

[agent-mariahill]

Hey spoodermam, your science project exploded all over lab 3. Go clean it up.