vampire sucking blood from the inner thigh can be something so erotic and more vampire media needs to get on this train
look at this post with your eyes if you agree
@vamplire
official vamplire post
ojovivo
will byers stan first human second

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Claire Keane

titsay
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cosmic Funnies

Origami Around
Game of Thrones Daily

oozey mess

izzy's playlists!
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

shark vs the universe

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JBB: An Artblog!
trying on a metaphor

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@agentbagginshield
vampire sucking blood from the inner thigh can be something so erotic and more vampire media needs to get on this train
look at this post with your eyes if you agree
@vamplire
official vamplire post
we’re about 60 days away from 2013 just think about that for a sec
recommending the x files to people is like yeah this is one of the most influential pieces of television created, it's the best and also one of the worst things you'll ever see. are there aliens? you'll never know. are mulder and scully lovers? worse. what do bees have to do with this? everything.
this is frying me
Tumblr in a nutshell
Oh god, this is worth the watch.
i saw someone say nobody needs to know what a .txt file is anymore. what the fuck is the world coming to
unironically i think we need to bring back computer labs because APPARENTLY some people WERENT taught basic computer literacy and internet safety in school
things about computers/the internet i think kids should be formally taught in schools because theyre important to know and the amount of soon to be grown adults i know who know NOTHING about any of these is quite frankly almost all of them (and resources to learn if you dont know these things, because its never to late to get better with computers)
how to troubleshoot by yourself when you have a technical problem
what common file types are
some very basics on how to use ""developer tools"" on your computer (because i cant think of a better way to refer to them) like task manager and command prompt (and their mac equivalents, terminal and activity monitor ofc)
how to read and understand a privacy policy and what your personal data is, as well as what it being collected actually means and steps you can take to keep it private
how to understand terms of service (hey. if you have trouble with reading legalese and worry about being able to understand these policies anyways, here's a site that gives basic summaries of privacy policies and ToS)
what a cookie actually is
internet privacy and your digital footprint!! seriously i dont know why we stopped teaching people that they shouldnt be putting their entire real identity online in a world where your online actions can ruin you irl
basic safety measures like antivirus software (and why you should use it or if the built in one on windows or mac is enough for you) and backing up your computer (also a mac guide)
common keyboard shortcuts (and on mac)
as an additional note: things i think everyone should know on computers and the internet but schools may bit hesitant to teach about for whatever moral/legal standards schools pretend to operate on
vpns and adblockers! (btw for most of these where you can pay for things im purposefully not recommending any specific software but seriously just use ublock origin for an adblocker)
how to not get a virus while pirating something
what a temporary email is and when to use one
red flags that you shouldn't trust a website (and how to quickly check the security of a site)
what javascript on a website does and how to disable it to get around paywalls
ok one last addition! if you want to take it one level higher, i think learning the very basics of at least one programming language is good for people. it makes computers less scary and it makes you feel very cool, and a lot of people get discouraged about it because it seems overly complicated and hard to learn outside a formal classroom setting, so heres some resources for learning the very basics of python (because i consider it the easiest language to learn and knowing one language will make it easier to learn others)
an online compiler so you dont need to download anything or worry about running code directly on your computer if that makes you nervous
a basic video guide to introduce you to python and walk you through beginner steps
a guide to some syntax and commands you should know (this was literally my lifeline in my first CS class)
some performance tasks to give you things to code to practice and assess yourself
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
#damn slow down these satan#i'm getting villainy whiplash here
A year or so after a prisoner who I put in there has baby birds with the bird I put in with him and trained a few the mannerisms of his princess companion into, I'll pull said princess out of the cells, put her in a pretty dress, and take her to see my birds before sending her home to her parents as part of a ransom deal. The visit will be brief enough that he cannot possibly communicate his identity to her (she has no idea that I turn some of my enemies into birds, nobody does). And then she'll go home and he'll never see her again. Did he imagine it? It's been a few years, and his bird wife is right there, dancing just like the princess she surely used to be...
despite the fact that jud's form and view of christianity is a very pleasant one, i appreciate that no part of benoit blanc is converted. it's not like i expected benoit to become a christian obviously, but i expected him to potentially stay for a service at the end, when invited. or to show appreciation for what jud is building at his church. even just appreciation that he's welcome.
after the whole movie, when benoit is given the invite, he still says there's nothing he wants less than to stay in that church. it's very, very reasonable and realistic of a traumatized atheist, but i almost never see it depicted in this way. usually they come around to "see the beauty" in one way or another. i just really appreciate that they didn't do that.
in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years
the theories get even more egregious during the imperial era, with people straight up thinking she joined the rebellion in secret and is loading her songs with subliminal rebel propaganda. their main piece of evidence for this is if you play a certain song backwards, it sounds like she’s saying “freedom” in shyriiwook. the fans get really defensive if you point out she’s performed at the yearly empire day celebration thrice now and her family historically owned ewok slaves
i regret to inform both you beautiful people that this isn’t going to go how you think it will
spiff fans (also known as “spiffies”) insist that the two decommissioned venator-class destroyers spiff purchased, the bad blood and the reputation, are for diplomatic purposes that benefit the rebellion. jedi’lors have concocted theories that she served on both ships during the clone wars and was respectful of every clone that served there, despite her courtship of a gravball player that thrice advocated against the clone veterans being granted natural citizenship
🪐chirodactylmanisagatewaydrug Follow •••
all goofing aside I don't understand the urge to reimagine Tay'lor Allisoarn Spiff as a secret Jedi fighting for the rebellion when the rebel alliance is literally like overflowing with women fighting the empire. Gara and Ke'Cha and Mileu and Halcey are right there. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't like Taylor but why would you hang all your hopes of taking down the empire on her
🤖 thedroidteer-andthegarbagecompactor Follow
Isn't Lady Gara a force sensitive?
🪐chirodactylmanisagatewaydrug Follow
Hence why I put her in the list of famous force using women who are in the rebel alliance?
(okay ignore the fact I've put an image in here but this is ops icon)
🪐chirodactylmanisagatewaydrug Follow
#im sure op has this post muted by now but Ur icon is so real op
The icon is because of this post
👤Eelinrmalice-deactivated201X023
btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post
op is basically saying something along the lines of "yea ik tay'lor spiff is a jedi but like. why is she y'all's only force using rebel icon when there are all these other force users in the rebellion???"
i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across
🪐chirodactylmanisagatewaydrug Follow
Hi OP here I most CERTAINLY DID NOT SAY TAY'LOR SPIFF IS A JEDI???
(based on this post)
you wouldn't believe who showed up in today's Jango Fett comic issue
(Jango Fett #4 by Ethan Sacks and Luke Ross)
head in my hands. she looks so much like the design i made too
how are u falling for hypothetical propaganda
happy 100k to this post. this awful awful post
While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.
I really couldn’t stop my self drawing this lol
Eldritch horrors getting an eldritch horror experience, for a second they experienced something incomprehensible.
the benoit blanc movies show really beautifully how to write a queer character whose story is not centered around their queerness. it's shown that benoit blanc is gay married (to hugh grant!) it's shown that he participates in queer mediums like musical theater and fashion, but none of those things are ever explicitly remarked on. he doesn't have a big coming out scene because he doesn't need one; and the subtle details about him not speaking to his mother, the way he associates a church with homophobia, allows us to draw conclusions about how his family felt about his queerness without making that the sole conflict in his story. the conflict in benoit blanc's story is not that he exists in the world as a gay person, it's that he's always trying to wrangle a bunch of 30 somethings into not confessing to crimes they didn't commit
Force Remove Copilot, Recall and More in Windows 11 - zoicware/RemoveWindowsAI
"Um," said the fairy. "Choose something else."
Rosamund hesitated. It was, she had to admit, the first time she had ever been given a wish, so she wasn't an expert with this sort of thing, but she felt that this was not part of the typical script. "Sorry," she said. "Is that not allowed?"
The fairy grimaced. When it spoke, its voice came out pained and stressed. "Y-y-y-e-e-e-no," it sighed at last, dragonfly wings sagging. "No, technically no, it's not not allowed, but-" It suddenly brightened. "How about gold? Can't go wrong with gold. Gold's a good wish."
Rosamund frowned. This was really not going the way she expected at all. "Excuse me-"
"Beauty, that's a good one too, beauty's always popular," it went on. "And if there's a ball nearby tonight I can probably-"
"Excuse me!"
The wand was twiddled in chitinous fingers. "Right," the fairy said, sounding scolded. "Sorry, it's just..." Its voice trailed off.
Her grandmother's clock chimed midnight from the mantelpiece.
Then - "I'm sorry," it said, not daring to look up, "I know it's not fair, but - you know what I am. You know what we do to wishes. If you wished for wealth I'd have to turn your hair into silver, so you’d have to tear every strand out of your head before you could spend it. We can't help it. It's what we do. The cost of a wish is that you get what you want, but you don't get it the easy way.
"So if you wish for a child, it'll be - strange. Twisted, somehow. Made of pine or marzipan or have the head of a hedgehog. That's the cost of a wish-child; you'll get the child you wished for, but it'll never be - right."
Rosamund waited to see if there was anything else. She felt a sting to her pride when she realized there wasn't. "Is that all?" she said. "I wouldn't care what I got-"
"You all say that," the fairy said. "You all say you wouldn't care what you got. You all say it, and you really believe it, until the neighbours sneer at you and your hedgehog child for too long, or your back aches because your thumb-high child can't help you in the fields, or your pine child kicks and bites and won't obey, and then you think, 'This isn't the way it was supposed to be,' and then..."
The fairy stopped and looked into Rosamund’s eyes. It was a beautiful thing, all glittering carapace and iridescent wings, but just for an instant it looked terribly, terribly old.
"I'm sorry," it said. "But I'm tired of making unloved children."
"I will give my life for this child," she replies in one world. "By my love or by my flesh and blood."
"So be it," the fairy replies. "You will keep your word."
And in one version of that world, she proves the fairy's fears wrong. She loves her hedgehog, thumb-high, surly pine child with all her heart. The child grows knowing it is wanted and loved. It grows knowing it always has a home, that it belongs.
In another version of that world, Rosamund fails. On the evening she gives up, the fairy finds her. "You promised," it says. In that world, the fairy takes her flesh and blood for the child, crafts it a body that will belong. And Rosamund becomes a soft pine doll, waiting to be loved, waiting to be real.
In this world, in either version, the child grows up happy and belonging.
In another world, the fairy's ancient grief stabs Rosamund deeper than her pride. "Where are these children?" she asks, horrified.
"Many are long-dead," the fairy replies.
"But not all. Take me to them."
"Is that your wish?" the fairy asks.
"If it must be."
In one version of this world, the fairy brings her to a household with a prickly, hedgehog daughter. The girl's mother cries, "How can I love her if I cannot hold her?"
"You were given a gift!" Rosamund roars in this world. "Give her to me if you are too cowardly to love her."
Rosamund takes the daughter and gently holds the girl's hands. "You deserve so much more than you've received."
"Are there more?" Rosamund asks the fairy once the girl has fallen asleep.
"Yes."
"Take me to them."
"You haven't even had this child for one night."
"How can I let those children wait? None of them deserve such pain."
In another version of this world, the fairy refuses. "You do not know what you ask."
"And you don't know what you've begun," Rosamund replies. She leads a crusade to find the fae children, to save them.
She lavishes the children with praise and love, but the story becomes twisted. Such brave children they are, daring to live despite such odd lives.
The thumb-high child will never find a spouse, and yet he remains so cheerful. What an inspiration he is.
In another world, Rosamund says, "Let me prove it to you."
"How?" the fairy challenges.
Rosamund does not hesitate. "Marry me. Let me prove I can love the strange and fae. Let me prove my love is stronger than daydreams and gossip. When you believe me, we will make a child together however you wish."
In one version of this world, the fae says, "No. Choose another wish."
"No," Rosamund replies. And the two remain locked in stalemate and the story never ends.
In another version of this world, the fae sighs. "Is that your wish?"
"No. My wish is unchanged, but I am willing to wait for your approval. I wait for bread to rise and rain to fall. Waiting on you for a child will be no hardship."
"And if I never approve?"
"You will."
And in this version, Rosamund and the fae are wed. Rosamund's friends and family harry her with concern. Her meager wealth dwindles as fewer are willing to buy the bread she bakes for fear of her spouse's enchantments.
"Do you regret this yet?" the fairy asks.
"When I was cold last week, you draped a cloak of cobwebs around my shoulders and I stopped shivering. How could I regret such kindness?"
After a long period without rain and the village drives them both out, the fairy asks again, "do you regret this yet?"
"When we had too little to drink, you collected the dew from every blade of grass around our home so we did not thirst. How could I regret such clever diligence?"
And when Rosamund falls deeply ill after too many nights sleeping exposed to every chilled breeze, the fairy presses its cool brow to her burning one and asks, "how do you not regret this yet?"
Rosamund weakly brushes her fingertips along the fairy's cheek. "You're crying for me. How can I possibly regret being loved by you? I told you my love is greater than hardship."
"This is not how these stories go," the fairy argues.
"I'm human," Rosamund says with a cough. "I twisted it."
In one version of this world where the fairy said "yes" to Rosamund's proposal, she dies, and the fairy collects another regret.
In another version, it carries Rosamund home beneath the hill and heals her. Then, together, they make and raise a child.
And that child is deeply, unconditionally loved.
The Butterfly Boy: a Fairytale.
A fairytale about the feeling of waiting on the edge of massive existential societal tragedies you are powerless to prevent, the way that we scapegoat the victims of broader societal failures as if they were the Cause, and the way that we treat children who will never grow into a "conventional" adulthood.
Thank you to everyone who followed along as I was sharing the pages for these past couple months! <3 :_:
Oh it’s lovely!
Every time I'm forced by circumstance to hand-sew something, I remember a fairytale I once read. There are lead-up shenanigans as the humble protagonist helps small animals and meets the princess and all that, but in the climax, the princess rigs a contest for her hand by setting her own task: sew her a dress in a single night.
The noble suitors, who have never sewn a thing in their lives, sabotage themselves by their own ambitions: they choose difficult fabrics to work with and cut huge, elaborate patterns and select gems and pearls and beads to sew onto it, and snip such long bits of thread that they lose time detangling their stitches, and ultimately resort to pinning bits together as they run out of time, so that their offerings initially look beautiful and flashy, but when the princess tries them on they stick her with pin ends and fall apart as she moves.
The humble protagonist uses a very simple pattern without embellishments and sews using short lengths of thread (snipped off and threaded for him by little birds of course) which don't tangle and therefore save time. His dress is plain by contrast, but holds together and the princess is able to move freely in it, and so he wins the contest and her hand.
I particularly think about the bit about threading the needle with shorter lengths of thread, needing to tie off more often but avoiding tangles and thereby saving time.
I then ignore that piece of wisdom passed down through who knows how many years and proceed to cut the longest damn length of thread I can manage because I hate tying off beginning or ending knots and I will not subject myself to more of that even if it does mean more tangles along the way.
I’m just an easy mark for dumb pilot humor. Today the captain was like “we’re now at altitude, feel free to move around, my one rule is you must stay inside the plane” and I lost it. It’s funny because you would die a horrible death akin to standing unencumbered on Pluto
oh that gap in my resume? i was imprisoned by the lizard king for a few years, it was a whole thing. big misunderstanding, completely exonerated. but that ties into the next item on the list, 2 years as consort to the lizard king. that was actually a volunteer situation