comic about chronic fatigue

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@akarcangel
comic about chronic fatigue
I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.
The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.
Ooooh you reminded me of that protocol I wrote about how to reinvent penicilin with only alchemical tools. You know. Just in case I did end up dumped in the past and needed a stable income.
w
what's the protocol?
I am so glad you asked! I unfortunately lost the protocol because it was probably on my laptop, but I remember the broad strokes. So! In case anyone does end up stuck in the middle ages and can find a kindly old alchemist willing to lend you his gear, here's the revamped Penicilin (Re)Discovery Protocol!
0. WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS.
We're not working in a lab here, cross-conatamination WILL happen. Your job is to minimize it as much as possible. If you end up in a place where soap hasn't been invented yet, wash your hands in distilled alcohol. Your skin won't thank you, but you can afford all the nice hand creams after you cure the plague and get rich.
Find some Penicillium mushrooms!
Yes, penicilin is produced by mushrooms, though Ascomycotes are usually called moulds, it's a fungus, and it makes me laugh to call it a mushroom. Plus, in the middle ages, mushrooms were known to have medicinal properties, so you'll get a lot farther by calling them mushrooms rather than molds.
First thing you need: mouldy fruit. Oranges, or cantaloupes are preferred.
Here's the thing: mold is everywhere, so getting it will be the easiest part. The tricky part start with identifying the correct mold. You don't want to feed your patients black mold, do you?
So. Leave some fruit out. The more the better, because you want to up your chances. Then let it rot in warm and humid places. After a while, pick any fruit that looks white on the outside and green in the middle:
Not the best picture, but that's what it should look like.
2. Transplanting your (potential) Penicillium mushrooms
Until you get it on a plate it's damn near impossible to tell which mold you got. Get ready for some trial and error because you will have to sift through a lot of unwanted mold. You might want to wear a mask.
First you need something to transplant it onto. Making modern agar plates is probably impossible but thankfully not needed. You just need:
Glass plates (the kind that can be closed, you want to minimize cross contamination)
1-2 cup of Hot water (preferably distilled, ask your alchemist if he can do that)
1 cup whole milk (should be 13g of lactose per cup, if your Penicillium won't grow adjust the water-milk ration in favor of milk)
If available: Instead of milk use corn steep liquor. Unfortunately only available after America was discovered, so YMMW, but Penicillium LOVES this stuff. It will make your life SO much easier if it's available.
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon Yeast extract (get it from a baker)
3-6 teaspoons Gelatin (get it from a butcher)
Disclaimer: The ratio of each of the ingredients will have to be adjusted depending on the purity of the ingredients and on the conventional measuring sizes of the place you end up.
Gently mix it all in and pour out into the plates, let it solidify. If you end up dumped far enough that such refinement isn't possible, make bone broth and strain it through cheesecloth several times to make it as clear as possible, then mix it 5/6 broth and 1/6 milk. Again, if available, use corn steep liquor, but if not milk is fine. Add gelatin (should still be able to get it from the butcher) as needed to solidify it. I'm afraid experimentation will be needed depending on the resources you will be working with.
When you're done, you should have something like this:
Now that you have your plates, run an inoculation loop through a flame to sterilize it.
Something like this. Wave it through the air to cool it so you don't kill your mold, grab it from your fruit and geeeeeently spread it on top of your improvised agar without breaking the surface of the gelatin!
You can see the motions on this one pretty well. Close your plates, stack them about a meter/3ft from the fireplace. Judge for yourself, but ideally somewhere you would consider comfortably warm (20-24°C).
3. Identifying your Penicillium Mushrooms
If all went well, you are going to have something that looks like this:
Well, realistically, it will look something like this:
We're not actually doing it in a lab, after all. But IDEALLY, it will look like the above. It doesn't have to be perfect, you just need to be able to identify Penicillium molds for now.
IDEALLY, on the plate that matches the description of the penicillium mold you'll see an exclusion zone of bacteria around the mold, like the fourth plate in the second row, so you know you have a potential winner, but if you managed to avoid bacterial growth you need to take a few extra steps.
Penicillium molds have characteristic rings of growth, grey-green-white rings. They're easy to differentiate from bacteria because the molds are fuzzy and the bacteria as smooth and slimy. In the above picture, there are four plates that potentially have what we want, and two are less certain than others. Wash out the unwanted ones, make new agar plates, sterilize your inoculation loop and transplant your best candidates. You might need to do this several times.
Two types are confirmed to produce penicilin: P. chrysogenum and P. rubens.
The former is far more widely used today, but since we're sourcing them from literally thin air, we're more likely to get P. rubens, but unless you're a mycologist you probably won't be able to tell the difference. Thankfully you won't need to, because they both produce penicillin. Which brings me to the next step.
4. Confirming it's the penicillin producing mushroom
We're gonna need more agar plates for this one, and believe it or not, you're gonna need to mix blood into your agar. Wash your hands THROUGHLY.
(Theoretically you can get away with just milk, but identifying the correct bacterial colony on white agar is going to be a nightmare, so just add some sheep blood to your agar, conventionally it's about 5% by volume but you might need more to make it)
You need some gram-positive bacteria, preferably of the Bacillota type. Please don't go out and find a patient with fucking botulism or tetanus, you need to live long enough to make the cure. Instead, if you have a vagina, scrape some of the white, mucousy stuff from there and plant it on your plate. If you don't have your own vagina, a borrowed one is fine. Penicilin also works on Treponema pallidum, so if you get a syphilis-affected prostitute that should also work. Just wear gloves.
Ideally you get something like this.
This is actually Lactobacillus brevis, but Lactobacillus colonies all look relatively the same. The important thing is that it's all gram-positive, and will therefore be affected by penicillin.
Take new plates again, plant your Penicillium mold in the middle, and the bacteria all around it, getting as close to the center as possible. You can put down a paper marker for the mold. Wait for about 20 days.
Ideally, on at least one plate, you will get something like this:
This is literally a textbook example of testing antibiotics, but the Zone of Inhibition is what you're looking for. It means the mold is releasing a compound to kill the competing bacteria for resources, in this case, Beta-lactam antibiotic, or penicillin. Make sure to pick the one with the WIDEST ZoI, because that's the one that produces most penicillin.
So now we have the root stock, but our problems have just begun. This is the part where you're absolutely going to need an alchemist's help.
The problem is that a human body is not a petri dish. It's quite a bit larger. And you want the good bacteria destroying stuff without all the nasty contaminants, so you need a SHITLOAD of mold producing a LOT of penicillin, and then you need a way to filter it. You are going to need actual lab equipment for that, or near as they had it.
Since I lost the original protocol I'm going to need to do research all over again how to do that with alchemy equipment (or at least a microbrewery), so that will be in the next installment.
Fascinating.
Concept: generic fantasy adventure where the wizard has a crackpot assistant and he explains sadly that while Hreithbert is an excellent person for keeping the wizard tower tidy and the homonculi fed they're obsessed with cooking like ten million plates of inedible goop but it makes them happy so he permits it
And at the end of the story the big reveal is Hreithbert is a time displaced biochemist who has finally fucking refined their process for penicillin.
BAROQUE LEGEND OF ZELDA
This is my interpretation of what 17th Century painters (mostly Italians) would have done if the legend of Zelda stories existed back then.
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Zelda Heritage Post
Hey. Why isnât the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isnât that fucked up? Does anyone else think thatâs absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! Thatâs a big deal! Iâve never thought about it before but now that I have, itâs ridiculous to me that thatâs not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why donât we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
Itâs July 20th. Thatâs the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. Iâm ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and Iâm going to have a goddamn potluck. Youâre all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
MOON DAY MONDAY THIS MONTH NOT A DRILL!!!!!
DELIGHTED TO DISCOVER MOON DAY MONDAY
in 2015 we didnât have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold
Because it was
Is the gold in the room with us right now?
yes. the dress is gold.
...
the dress has always been gold
r u saying this doesn't look white and gold to u???
...
what.
it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again
oh god fucking damn it
I know tumblr likes to exclusively make it about bloody hospitals but this is what Color Theory is about
HOW DID THIS DISCOURSE COME BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026!???
when I tell you people were shouting up and down my dorm's hallways about this when it first happened
(the dress was by Roman Originals and it was in fact blue and black. but they made a one-off white and gold one for charity later)
KICK THE CAN!
Letâs play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
No wisdom from me this week, I don't know WHAT MY ISSUE IS
ADHD Alien Graphic Novel & Stream here: https://linktr.ee/adhdalien
Spider-Man: MENACE
THANK YOU so many people have stolen/reposted this comic!
amazing would love more menace spidey
I want more superhero content where the heroes do stuff like this :D
I like to think spidey started to flip it and teased it like âoh! Oh! You better stop me! No? *tips more* oh your coffee spilled oh nooo!!â And then set it down upside down right as the cop ran up. The car isnât destroyed, but like⌠this is clearly a problem. And all of this would have been avoided if the cop wasnât being a prick.
correct
I really shouldn't have put on my resume that I'm good with technology, because every day at work someone's like, "hey wait, you can fix the ipad right?" and I have to look at them, adjust my glasses, think of all of the cool shit I do running shell scripts and using utilities to shape my computer into a machine that can do anything I want, and say, "no. sorry. I have absolutely no idea how to do that."
don't hide the tags op
Need to be taken apart and reassembled like a broken watch . Not in a sex way I just think they should put my joints together right this time
Ohhh the fantasy of all your bones being put into one of those ultrasonic cleaning baths they use for jewelry. All the pain coming clouding out like dirt. Then carefully reassembled and joints oiled and then it would all just work perfectly and painlessly...
Like, I know that's not what's wrong with me but I think we should try just to be sure
A reminder that sell-buy dates or best-used-by dates are not the same as expiration dates.
I love that a food bank is providing this info as they are experts in stretching food budgets and knowledgable in shelf-stable food items
So I followed the link to the website and found the longer list.
The website puts a link to the USDA site which links to foodsafety dot gov who really wants you to use the app, but you can bypass it.
Also a link to the Canadian government's advisory on best-before dates.
Both sites have links to pages that get more into food storage.
found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember
no no youâre on to something donât leave this in the notes! (tags from @misscrazyfangirl321)
yeah i drive the truck that isekais all those lonely 20yo NEETs and bored salarymen. itâs a really hard job. they keep sending me to workplace counselling after each hit. âitâs normal to feel guilt at ending someoneâs life,â they say. how do i tell them thatâs not what makes me feel guilty? âbut itâs okay. heâll live a better life in another world.â yeah, with 100 girls who could have lived normal lives but got drafted into being in these boring dudesâ harems. how many womenâs lives have i ruined. and they donât even know. they donât even know
Sounds like you need "His Soul is Marching On to Another World; or, the John Brown Isekai" by CabbagePreacher, an actual fic on AO3 about famed abolitionist martyr John Brown getting isekaied to such a world and going on a rampage abolishing harems.
140 CHAPTERS?
181 chapters now???Âż??
Knight with physical disability please. Knight with bad hearing after so many battles. Knight who sprained an ankle once and it never healed right. Knight with colorblindness (can't tell the difference between surcoats). Knight who lost an arm but fights anyway.
Knight who has a homoerotic relationship with the healer who has to patch it up. Knight forced to retire because it can't sit without pain
((This one was also me.))
why must reductress hurt me in this way
ok a) lmao me too girl, and
b) once burnout hits you CANNOT work that hard, by your standards, so odds are it actually hit a while ago and you just âpowered throughâ because thatâs what youâre used to doing. So now, every day, youâre hitting your limit and thinking âwtf man i used to be able to do this, i used to be competent, clever, diligentâ and like yeah. you were. and that burns glucose. welcome to the dumb bitch zone.
and c), lmao, me too girl
fuck b) came for me harder than the first post did god damn
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
âFor me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, âOf course.â When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.â