a million empty branches @alacrity-alacritous - Tumblr Blog

"This fic is literally just porn, why do you care about the quality of the editing" unfortunately, both my brain and my dick have strong opinions about verb tenses.

eternally-conflicted

You severely underestimate the effect of typos and incorrect tenses on my libido

nedlittle

if i were a respected british actor with any principles at all i would simply not agree to a project whose earnings will have material consequences for trans people but maybe i'm built differently

nedlittle

another one bites the dust

balcklion

A circulating video of sisters who bought the same clothes for their husbands 😂❤️

g1sunstreaker

this gag NEVER fails to make me laugh. watching them all file in one by one and collectively laugh harder every time the next guy walks in…i could watch videos of this practical joke all day

cumaeansibyl

Their faces as they collectively realize they’re married to the funniest women on the planet

the-real-seebs

whenever people say “it’s just a prank” about minor cruelty, remember: the people laughing hardest here are the people being pranked. you’ll notice that they aren’t hurt, or upset. they’re enjoying it. they feel loved and included.

that’s how you make a good prank.

serenitynerd

I keep putting this back in my queue because it means I restumble upon it and it always makes me laugh. So delightful

mugiwara-lucy

Something to keep in mind with 85 days until the midterms.

Republicans are EVIL

naamahdarling

I haven't talked about this yet because I just haven't had the strength.

My dad abruptly entered the hospital a couple of weeks ago, went into hospice, and died last night. I was fortunately able to be with him when he went, which I am VERY grateful for. He was very well cared-for while he was there, and died completely peacefully. My boyfriend and I hung out with him for a few hours until the body donation people came, and walked him out.

I am now dealing with figuring out what this does to me financially, because nothing helps grief like dealing with the SSA, and MASSIVE family drama over the inheritance, and trying to get bills put in my name when I have no money for deposits. Nobody knows what's going to happen with probate but it's looking like it's going to get really, really ugly.

We had JUST learned about special needs trusts and had begun the paperwork of creating one for me, to protect my inheritance, and dad went into the hospital just days before we were to sign and never regained the capability to do so. I am absolutely gutted. I was going to use that to help get us out of this hellhole state in a controlled fashion. We have to pay the lawyer for what he was able to do, which is get the house in my name.

So yes, good, the house is in my name now, but if my dad's bank accounts have been drained, I have no idea if I will inherit enough to be able to pay the mortgage, which is half my SSI income.

So we are going to need to ask for help, possibly a lot of help. Hundreds of dollars at least. I think around $400 for utility deposits, if nothing else.

My boyfriend's PayPal is [email protected], if you want to help and can afford to. I'll be putting up a sale link for his shop later, and if I can manage it, a post breaking down our expenses that we currently know about.

Right now I'm just...exhausted and sad.

Please find ways to be kind to one another in this life. It's all that really matters.

heuheu-the-goose

Another BTS clip from James Ortiz's Instagram. Grace's xenonite suit was a practical effect!

swagsmeister

a very happy hr season 2 filming day to all who celebrate

cinemaocd

I'm used to being hated. That's my thing. But I can't function as a director unless that hatred is kept in check by a thin, calculated veneer of invulnerability.

4-0-doublenatural

Always thinking about Klinger casually handing Hawkeye a Life Magazine with pictures of Maine and acting like it's no big deal it was just lying around while Hawkeye gushes about how wonderful it is getting to see home and immediately going to show it off to BJ.

And Hawkeye learning Klinger traded that magazine for a giant Lebanese salami. A taste from his home because he knew how much Hawkeye would love those pictures of Maine.

Klinger and Hawkeye and their mutual understanding of what home means to each other.

tainbocuailnge

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

tainbocuailnge

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

nudityandnerdery

This seems like a good post to include this link on:

One buyout firm quietly collected Pyrex, Corelle, Instant Pot, and Oneida. Farberware is a name on a 200-year lease. And the pans still wort

Talking about popular kitchenware companies undergoing enshittification, and gives you a list of brands towards the end that are more reliable.

4-0-doublenatural

Hawkeye and Trapper: two mirrors reflecting into infinity until you can't see either anymore.

Hawkeye and Henry: the overworked under paid college dean and depressed class clown start drinking at the same bar.

Hawkeye and Margaret: they hate each other's masks so much that all they can do is rip them off and be themselves.

Hawkeye and Radar: what if your inner child saw all the bullshit you got up to and still loved you anyway?

Hawkeye and Klinger: a pair of caged birds trying to pick the lock.

Hawkeye and Charles: Symphony No. 7 in A major, Op. 92 / Entrance of the Gladiators Mashup. Beautiful music was made anyway.

Hawkeye and Potter: the soldier that became a doctor and the doctor that became a soldier. The man you never were and the man you'll never be in thirty years meeting somewhere in the middle and shaking hands.

Hawkeye and Frank: American, American't, American-can can you do the can-can?

Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy: God's smile looks something like a punchline.

Hawkeye and BJ: two mirrors facing opposite directions with their backs glued together.

penandinkprincess

among the reasons i love shane goes to boston as an idea is that cliff marlowe is a fucking GIANT of a man, and i have the very funny idea in my head that being ilya's boyfriend means shane gets auto-included into the Bro Manhandling that i KNOW that man gives out to his friends.

and like. LISTEN. shane is a tough, strong dude, okay? he has played a heavy contact sport since he was an itty bitty. he is no shrinking violet. he can take a hit and get back up and keep going. he's no stranger to like. grabbing shoulders and a little playful jostling. but i also feel like his vibe on the team with the metros made him a little untouchable (first with respect that still made him "other" and then with. well.) beyond things like shoulder punches from jj and helmet taps with hayden.

and now he's gotten tossed into this locker room where he is accepted and welcomed but ALSO maybe getting fucking whiplash on the reg from cliff's affection. like hey! thank you for including me! but also you just fucking RAGDOLLED me the SECOND i walked in here today and i am a little turned on and ALARMED about it. just a little.

like hits on the ice? yeah. shane understands those. gets 'em and deals 'em all the time. no big. a little bro shoulder tapping/shaking? yeah sure.

but cliff just fucking. 🗣️HOLL-ZY! MY GUUUY! 🗣️ and that is shane's ONLY warning that he's about to get borderline shaken adult syndrome. everyone else in the locker room including ilya knows to brace or dodge by this point, but shane is still adjusting.

and like!! it's nice!! thank you for including me!! but also jesus fuck!!! i have a new empathy for anya's favorite toy when she death shakes it!! oh my god!!!

hurricanenoelle

ayellowbirds

On the one hand, i’m amused at the joke. On the other hand, I’m a librarian and this shelving is horrifying.

tharook

Well, no shelving system is without fault.

teaboot

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

teaboot

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

edgar-allan-possum

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

elidyce

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.

*A couple of months later*

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family.