Mostly trash here|I tag when i remember to. Y'all can call me Mint or Minty or AP. I write and doodle sometimes. Mostly reblogs with scattered selfies and pictures of my dogs thrown in.
The thing is, Tim didn't mean to put it on. He was just kind of playing with it to keep his hands busy while he was thinking about the recent murder case. GCPD had their hands full with the serial robbers that didn't rank high enough to catch Batman's attention, and Tim never had a problem with helping the police if he had time.
And the ring was a perfect fidget toy, if he is being honest. Small and plain enough not to distract him, but the round stone in the middle was loosely attached, making it able to spin inside the frame. Which is what he did, again and again, like those fidget spinners.
Of course, he was just destined to drop it sooner or later. And then, when he reached under the table to pick it up, his finger caught inside the ring, and, well.
The ring was now firmly on his finger.
The problem was that he couldn't take it off.
It wasn't stuck, at least not in the general sense of it - Tim could easily spin it around, and it wasn't tight. But it wasn't loose either, and as soon as he tried to move it past the knuckle, the ring heavily disagreed, almost like shrinking down and absolutely refusing to be detached.
Barbara suggested soap, which didn't work. Dick tried for a more mechanical approach, first with pliers and then with a laser, which the ring resisted with no effort. Cass, who was actually the one who brought the damned thing into the Cave after one of her adventures in Hong Kong, just smiled and shrugged, which was of no help either. Damian offered to cut the finger off, which probably would have helped, but Tim rather liked all his limbs attached.
Bruce called Constantine. The magician took one look at the ring, barked a humorless laugh, and pat Tim on the shoulder sympathetically.
"Congrats, mate," he said, a wry smile on his lips, "I hope you file for divorce."
Although, while all the rest of the Bats and Birds devolved into fits of hysterical laughter (Steph), indignant sputtering (Damian), and cries of outrage (everyone else sans Alfred, who was pointedly unimpressed), Tim couldn't even bring himself to be surprised. Really, his life had been a shitshow since he was around ten. It's not like he didn't expect himself to be accidentally married to some otherworldly magical creature by this point.
The worst part - worse than the actual engagement, that is - was that Constantine couldn't exactly tell them who the spouse was.
What he did say was that the Ring belonged to the King of Infinite Realms, Keeper of Unseen Worlds, and Eyes of Universe. But those were only titles, and, as John Constantine begrudgingly admitted, there has been a change in the management recently, so no one really knew what the new almighty monarch looked like or what they were, much less their whereabouts.
"You can't blame me for not being keen to find out, though," John said, wincing, "The last one was a bloody tyrant, and the Realms operate under the right of conquest rule."
At least, the mage assured them that since the being had not yet come to collect their shiny new spouse, they might never show up at all. The Ring has been lost for ages after all, so maybe the King didn't even remember having one. Or, the previous King didn't, and the new one didn't know about or didn't care.
The first week after the incident, they spent anxiously researching and worrying. Bruce even went as far as making Tim wear a tracker at all times, which was not great, but he did appreciate the gesture. Kind of.
After the first month with no sign of any changes, the worry started to abate. In half a year, most of the family stopped trying to keep an eye on Tim at all times lest he suddenly disappeared. Two years later, even Tim himself treated the Ring as a natural part of his daily life. The stone inside was still a great fidget toy, engagement or not.
Three years, one month, and five days after Tim first put the Ring on his finger, when the world was falling apart and breaking in front of him and there was not a single thing he could do to stop it anymore, Tim pressed his lips to the cold, dark strip of unknown metal on his finger.
"Whoever you are, I don't even care, please," he whispered in a useless prayer, his voice hoarse and his throat dry, "please, help."
And the world came to a stop with a short, amused chuckle.
Danny has been locked away by the Observants, and physically can't enter the living realm again until his living fiance calls for him.
The problem is that he was still a teen and didn't have a fiance. The only people he had access to were all some variety of dead. So Kitty had an idea, hopeless romantic that she is, to fling his Ring out into the Mortal Realms. Whoever was worthy would find themselves unable to take the ring off after putting it on. For everyone else, it would just be a regular ring.
Finally, after 5 years, he felt the connection. Someone Worthy had put the ring on. Now, he just had to wait for them to call on his aid.
Danny grinned as he watched Kitty disappear through a portal, it had taken a lot of work to get to this point. Countless messages ferried between the living world and the Realms by some of his former rouges to keep in touch with his former Fraid had led to this plan. Boxy had oddly been the biggest help, so long as no one actually tried to keep the boxes he moved around that is.
When Kitty had come to him with the idea he had no clue how they were actually going to manage it. After all the Observants hated him enough that they had found a way to lock him in the Realms until his mortal fiance called on him. They had managed to bar him from physical contact with the mortal world and never informed him of the Ring of Engagement. Kitty had been the one to do that after she had gotten back from a date with Johnny 13 (and Jazz, but he was staunchly ignoring that little bit of information) in the mortal world.
She and Johnny had quite literally crashed through the wall of his office in the Keep to tell him of this brilliant plan. Really, it wasn't that hard, the Observents were content to let him wallow in paperwork, confident that he had no knowledge of the ring, and that even if he did no one would help him get the ring to the mortal world and since he could not interact with it, he would not be able to create his own portal and send it there himself. And that plan might have even worked out for them if Kitty and Johhny hadn't got themselves together and come to the realization that they both liked his sister.
So, Danny and Kitty had made sure, with the help of Dora, that the ring would A) find the perfect spouse for him and B) be unable to be removed from their finger.
Now all Danny could do was wait and hope that his future spouse and hope that it was only idle curiosity that would bring them together.
I love all of that and I also love that since one of the popular things for fics like this is to have Pandora as a mentor figure for him alongside Clockwork (and since a lot of the dcxdp crossover likes to have Pandora as an ancient like founding member of the Amazons and Clockwork as Kronos) the whole Ancient of Gates, Change, Door, Duality, and Space give off major Roman God Janus vibes (god of beginnings and ends, entrances and exits, change, transitions, gateways, doorways, and archways. And to some, he was the prime beginning and end and curator of the universe) I just love that so much <3
Anyway onto more blurbs
Tim stared at the being that towered above him. That towered over the battlefield not five minutes ago and with seemingly nothing more than a thought had decimated the enemy. The being had hair the color of silvered moonbeams and constellations of freckles that seemed to utter a soft glow as they stared down at him with eyes that glowed an eerie green he thought should make him pause, and yet, they only drew him in.
"Oh," he felt the word pass his lips more than he heard it. He could feel his cheeks heat up with a blush. he could also feel the gaze of his allies as they all slowly began to pick themselves up from the ground.
"While I would have loved it if you had called on me sooner, I understand your hesitance," the being spoke with a masculine voice, their thumb slowly moving across Tim's knuckles, where they still grasped his hand. "I am glad we did not have to meet in the afterlife. You have been found worthy by the ring. You have saved me from the curse I had been placed under and have allowed my counsel to return to me. For that alone, you would have my gratitude."
Tim could only blink in mild bewilderment at the somewhat flowery and official-sounding words, his blush darkening as the being looked around at his companions. He could swear he saw a lavender tinge to their cheeks as their own odd companions gathered around them. One of them, a Greek warrior with four arms from the looks of them, cleared their throat.
"High King Phantom," their voice was feminine and stern as they looked around the field, lingering on Diana and the Wonder Family for a brief moment before sweeping the rest of the field. "Welcome back."
The being, High King Phantom, smiled, turning towards the warrior slightly.
"Thank you, Lady Pandora, I trust you and the others can handle the cleanup? My betrothed's allies deserve a break I believe."
High King Phantom turned back towards Tim, their smile still in place. "I am High King Phantom of the Infinite Realms, but you may call me Phantom, and you are the Hero Red Robin, he who is worthy of the title consort and breaker of the curse placed upon me."
The thing is, Tim didn't mean to put it on. He was just kind of playing with it to keep his hands busy while he was thinking about the recent murder case. GCPD had their hands full with the serial robbers that didn't rank high enough to catch Batman's attention, and Tim never had a problem with helping the police if he had time.
And the ring was a perfect fidget toy, if he is being honest. Small and plain enough not to distract him, but the round stone in the middle was loosely attached, making it able to spin inside the frame. Which is what he did, again and again, like those fidget spinners.
Of course, he was just destined to drop it sooner or later. And then, when he reached under the table to pick it up, his finger caught inside the ring, and, well.
The ring was now firmly on his finger.
The problem was that he couldn't take it off.
It wasn't stuck, at least not in the general sense of it - Tim could easily spin it around, and it wasn't tight. But it wasn't loose either, and as soon as he tried to move it past the knuckle, the ring heavily disagreed, almost like shrinking down and absolutely refusing to be detached.
Barbara suggested soap, which didn't work. Dick tried for a more mechanical approach, first with pliers and then with a laser, which the ring resisted with no effort. Cass, who was actually the one who brought the damned thing into the Cave after one of her adventures in Hong Kong, just smiled and shrugged, which was of no help either. Damian offered to cut the finger off, which probably would have helped, but Tim rather liked all his limbs attached.
Bruce called Constantine. The magician took one look at the ring, barked a humorless laugh, and pat Tim on the shoulder sympathetically.
"Congrats, mate," he said, a wry smile on his lips, "I hope you file for divorce."
Although, while all the rest of the Bats and Birds devolved into fits of hysterical laughter (Steph), indignant sputtering (Damian), and cries of outrage (everyone else sans Alfred, who was pointedly unimpressed), Tim couldn't even bring himself to be surprised. Really, his life had been a shitshow since he was around ten. It's not like he didn't expect himself to be accidentally married to some otherworldly magical creature by this point.
The worst part - worse than the actual engagement, that is - was that Constantine couldn't exactly tell them who the spouse was.
What he did say was that the Ring belonged to the King of Infinite Realms, Keeper of Unseen Worlds, and Eyes of Universe. But those were only titles, and, as John Constantine begrudgingly admitted, there has been a change in the management recently, so no one really knew what the new almighty monarch looked like or what they were, much less their whereabouts.
"You can't blame me for not being keen to find out, though," John said, wincing, "The last one was a bloody tyrant, and the Realms operate under the right of conquest rule."
At least, the mage assured them that since the being had not yet come to collect their shiny new spouse, they might never show up at all. The Ring has been lost for ages after all, so maybe the King didn't even remember having one. Or, the previous King didn't, and the new one didn't know about or didn't care.
The first week after the incident, they spent anxiously researching and worrying. Bruce even went as far as making Tim wear a tracker at all times, which was not great, but he did appreciate the gesture. Kind of.
After the first month with no sign of any changes, the worry started to abate. In half a year, most of the family stopped trying to keep an eye on Tim at all times lest he suddenly disappeared. Two years later, even Tim himself treated the Ring as a natural part of his daily life. The stone inside was still a great fidget toy, engagement or not.
Three years, one month, and five days after Tim first put the Ring on his finger, when the world was falling apart and breaking in front of him and there was not a single thing he could do to stop it anymore, Tim pressed his lips to the cold, dark strip of unknown metal on his finger.
"Whoever you are, I don't even care, please," he whispered in a useless prayer, his voice hoarse and his throat dry, "please, help."
And the world came to a stop with a short, amused chuckle.
Danny has been locked away by the Observants, and physically can't enter the living realm again until his living fiance calls for him.
The problem is that he was still a teen and didn't have a fiance. The only people he had access to were all some variety of dead. So Kitty had an idea, hopeless romantic that she is, to fling his Ring out into the Mortal Realms. Whoever was worthy would find themselves unable to take the ring off after putting it on. For everyone else, it would just be a regular ring.
Finally, after 5 years, he felt the connection. Someone Worthy had put the ring on. Now, he just had to wait for them to call on his aid.
Danny grinned as he watched Kitty disappear through a portal, it had taken a lot of work to get to this point. Countless messages ferried between the living world and the Realms by some of his former rouges to keep in touch with his former Fraid had led to this plan. Boxy had oddly been the biggest help, so long as no one actually tried to keep the boxes he moved around that is.
When Kitty had come to him with the idea he had no clue how they were actually going to manage it. After all the Observants hated him enough that they had found a way to lock him in the Realms until his mortal fiance called on him. They had managed to bar him from physical contact with the mortal world and never informed him of the Ring of Engagement. Kitty had been the one to do that after she had gotten back from a date with Johnny 13 (and Jazz, but he was staunchly ignoring that little bit of information) in the mortal world.
She and Johnny had quite literally crashed through the wall of his office in the Keep to tell him of this brilliant plan. Really, it wasn't that hard, the Observents were content to let him wallow in paperwork, confident that he had no knowledge of the ring, and that even if he did no one would help him get the ring to the mortal world and since he could not interact with it, he would not be able to create his own portal and send it there himself. And that plan might have even worked out for them if Kitty and Johhny hadn't got themselves together and come to the realization that they both liked his sister.
So, Danny and Kitty had made sure, with the help of Dora, that the ring would A) find the perfect spouse for him and B) be unable to be removed from their finger.
Now all Danny could do was wait and hope that his future spouse and hope that it was only idle curiosity that would bring them together.
what if instead of being under the impression that Darth Vader killed his father someone told Luke that Vader killed his mother and then Luke hit him w that accusation in the middle of their confrontation and Vader just started crying
don’t just scroll past this actually watch it, it’s only 2 minutes long. If you re-recorded this today word for word with modern actors and places, it wouldn’t even look out of place as a PSA
Speaker: “I see negroes holding jobs that belong to me! And you! I’ll ask you, if we allow this thing to go on, what’s gonna become of us real Americans!”
Hungarian man with clear foreign accent: “I’ve heard this kind of talk before, but I never expected to hear it in America.”
Young man: “This man seems to know what he’s talking about.“
Speaker: “What are us real Americans gonna do about it? You’ll find it right here in this little pamphlet—the truth about negroes and foreigners! The truth about the Catholic Church! You’ll find…” [audio grows quieter as camera shifts to the onlookers]
Hungarian man: “You believe in that kind of talk?“
Young man: “I dunno, it makes pretty good sense to me.“
Speaker: “And I tell you, friends, we’ll never be able to call this country our own until it’s a country without… without what?“
Other man: “Yeah? Without what?“
Speaker: “Without negroes, without alien foreigners,”—the young man is nodding, following along—“without Catholics, without Freemasons! You know these…“
Young man: “What’s wrong with the Masons, I’m a Mason.” Looks to European man worriedly, “hey, that fellow’s talking about me!“
Huungarian man: “And that makes a difference, doesn’t it.“
Speaker: “These are your enemies! These are the people who are trying to take over our country! Now you know them, you know what they stand for. And it’s up to you and me to fight them!” A bunch of the onlookers in the vicinity wave him off like he’s crazy and turn away, “fight them and destroy them before they destroy us!”
Speaker: “Thank you.“
One man in the now somewhat awkward crowd: “claps“
Young man: *is visibly uncomfortable*
Hungarian man: “Before he said Mason, you were ready to agree with him.”
Young man: “Well yes but, he was talking about… what about those other people?“ *the pair sit down on a park bench*
Hungarian man: “In this country, we have no ‘other people.’ We are American people, of course.“
Young man: “What about you? You aren’t American, are you?“
Hungarian man: “I was born in Hungary. But now, I am an American citizen. And I have seen what this kind of talk can do. I saw it in Berlin.”
Young man: “What were you doing there?“
Hungarian man: “I was a professor at the university. I heard the same words we have heard today. But I was a fool, then. I thought Nazis were crazy people, stupid fanatics. But unfortunately it was not so. You see, they knew that they were not strong enough to conquer a unified country, so they split Germany into small groups. They used prejudice as a practical weapon to cripple the nation.”
Because it’s happened to us on a trek, if you see abandoned clothes, stop and search for anyone nearby. Late-stage hypotherima causes a thing called paradoxical undressing where the person feels too hot and starts taking their clothes off.
for a little bit of an order for this if it isn’t obvious: Take any wet clothes off (including sweaty clothes!! underlayers can become soaked with sweat while working in the cold and lead to hypothermia later) BEFORE you wrap the person in warm dry blankets/clothing.
Also I cannot stress the ‘do not rub’ thing enough. If you have a frozen steak, let it thaw a little bit and then give it a good rub. Take a peek at it via a hand lens. You’ll see tons of little cuts/gashes. That’s from the ice crystals cutting into the flesh. NEVER rub the skin of a hypothermia/extreme cold exposed person to warm them up unless you want the same damn thing happening to their flesh.
Don’t warm the extremities (hands/feet) too quickly. Not only would it be extremely painful, but the vessels in said extremities opening too quickly can lead to shock (part of the direct heat issue).
It may be less than stellar, but I have a strict personal rule: “don’t put longer than 30 minutes’ effort into a fetish joke”. The second you hit 30:01, the exposure becomes lethal and the fetish becomes unironic.
its almost that special season of the year where we get to see our spotify wrapped and normal people get to say things like "omg isnt it kind of funny that i listened to one song on repeat 4479 times this year" and the most pretentious people ontumblr get to say things like "your joke about your spotify wrapped has shown me you have no sense of self and will die within the year"
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