When would you say Baelor, Maekar, and the other Targaryen’s realized Valarr loved Aerion. Because apparently he was very obviously smitten with aerion and everyone knew but Aerion. And Maekar had an inkling for so long but yet he’s just coming around to trusting Valarr with Aerion, so I wonder how long were people aware of Valarr’s feelings before Ashford happened?
HUHHHHH spoilers you want huh??!?!?
I think for Baelor, it was almost as soon as Valarr knew. Not because Valarr told him straight away (it did not take long though), but rather because he could see himself in him. The way Valarr suddenly straightened around him, paid attention to things he had never cared about before, the way every conversation somehow drifted back to Aerion if left unattended long enough. Baelor had spent enough years being painfully in love to recognise the symptoms.
Valarr thought he was being subtle. He was not.
Maekar is a different story. Maekar noticed something was happening fairly early, but for a long time he interpreted it incorrectly. He saw Valarr's protectiveness, his constant attention, the way he hovered whenever Aerion was involved, and assumed it was duty. Family obligation. Guilt, perhaps. Anything except love.
part of that is because Maekar does not naturally assume people love Aerion. He knows people are fascinated by him, frustrated by him, angered by him, charmed by him against their better judgment but love? The sort of steady, enduring affection that survives actually knowing Aerion? That takes him longer to believe.
by the time Maekar finally realises what Valarr feels, everyone else has more or less already figured it out.
Daeron knows before Valarr says a word because Daeron notices everything and minds everyone's business.
hell Matarys figures it out because Valarr becomes embarrassingly obvious whenever Aerion enters a room.
the funniest part is that Aerion genuinely has no idea. Not because he's oblivious in general, but because it simply never occurs to him that Valarr might look at him and want more than what they already have. Every sign that seems obvious to everyone else gets filtered through "well, that's just Valarr."
so by Ashford, the question isn't really "does Valarr love Aerion?" Most of the family already knows the answer to that. The question is whether Aerion will ever notice which is does... Eventually.