courage, dear heart

constantly wishing i lived in worlds other than my own. more fandoms than i can count at this point. she/her/they/them | queer

[romanceslasher]

Finn, we don't have to do this. I want this with you. I was struck again with that feeling of newness with him. It felt like stopping time. As if they had been waiting a lifetime to be noticed by him, my wings shiver. It feels like I could have him right in my mouth and still crave him closer. Please...

[two-bees-poetry]

twenty years across the sea

[zannolin]

seriously the way they show us where all the pevensies are emotionally at the start of prince caspian is downright excellent (susan trying to be realistic and closed off, edmund charging in to back peter up, lucy trying to fix everything, peter chafing at everything) but i love peter's entrance especially because not only is he so clearly fighting demons (and also guys in the subway) but also my man is LOSING. he is getting his ass handed to him. and all his siblings can see it (which matters so much more than anyone else, because they know what he was like before, they remember, he shouldn't be losing like this, he's better than this, he's led armies, he's a king) and that moment when he meets susan's gaze and she just looks at him in disappointment??? ohhhh it's so fucking good. it was such good context and setup for how his entire arc was about feeling like a failure and craving the respect and autonomy he once had and overcompensating for it because at once he's a legendary king and an angry, rejected teenage boy. but also i just love to see my favs losing it's really fucking hilarious to watch

[autie-j]

"Scrooge only changed because he saw how nobody mourned him after his death" NO NO NO NO. You don't get it! The last spirit only worked because of the spirits that came before softening him up! If the spirits had shown him dead and ungrieved only it would not work. As the night goes on amid the visits Scrooge is already visibly changing. He's different after the first spirit and even more so after the second. And it's because of how much he's already changed that the final spirit is able to succeed

[brothermouse-skeleton]

The first ghost reminded him that he had been loved once, that there was, in fact, something lovable about him, and that he was once capable of returning that love.

The second ghost showed him the crossroads he was at, people still cared about him. Bob sticks up for him when it's clear Scrooge doesn't deserve it, and Fred expresses pity for him for his loneliness. But in those moments he also sees the fruits of his actions, Mrs Cratchit's pure distain for him and Fred's party goers jumping at the chance to make fun of him.

He is shown that he could go back to the days of Fezziwig and that he could join Fred's party and still be welcomed with open arms.

But the last ghost shows him that there is a deadline to fixing his life. If he doesn't get his act together, he's going to be despised at worse and dismissed at best.

OP is absolutely right, the last ghost only worked because Scrooge was shown what he could have, what was right within his reach. He wanted that, he was changing, he was ready. The last ghost just sealed the deal by letting him know what was at stake.

[lastoneout]

If "you're going to die soon and go to hell for being a shitty, greedy person" would have worked then Marley alone would have been more than enough to change his mind, but the story makes it very clear that simply telling Scrooge he's an asshole and will be punished for his sins one day was never going to get him to really change.

[a-sadnoodle]

I cannot express how much I adore dappled shadows formed by sunlight in paintings and photography and in real life

[great-and-small]

I also adore how this pattern has manifested itself in the form of camouflage for some species

The echo of those same dappled shadows that we paint in our art is genetically coded into a baby’s fur in order to keep her safe. A beautiful thing.

(Photos by Joel Sartore)

[hotcinnamonsunset]

Henry stands lovingly close.

[catgirlcadaver-deactivated20241]

looking at that one booktok post and didn’t realize how funny this is. uou do not know what a safe word is

[dinoburger-deactivated20250110]

[tnwnx]

some highlights from the notes

[katestewartt]

“Love is awful. It’s awful. It’s painful. It’s frightening. Makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself. Distance yourself from the other people in your life. Makes you selfsih. Makes you creepy! Makes you obsessed with your hair. Makes you cruel! Makes you say and do things you never thought you would do! It’s all any of us want, and it’s hell when we get there! So no wonder it’s something we don’t want to do on our own. I was taught, if we’re born with love, then life is about choosing the right place to put it. People talk about that a lot, it feeling right. “When it feels right, it’s easy.” But I’m not sure that’s true. It takes strength to know what’s right. And love isn’t something that weak people do.”

[sicknessinmotion]

you are the grief i remember you as

fortesa latifi // fleabag // j. estanislao lopez // @promqueendyke // okechukwu nzelu // glennon doyle melton.

[blairbarely]

Paul Mescal having the time of his life getting yelled at by Andrew Scott…. He's so me

[manny-jacinto]

FLEABAG (2016-2019)

[mayahart]

FLEABAG (2016—2019) cr. Phoebe Waller-Bridge

[stargirldotcom]

-there is so much life all over the place

graceland too- phoebe bridgers/ Ada Limón/ evermore- taylor swift/ @chessy/ @cursedsuggestion/ @mazzystarjpg/ garden song- phoebe bridgers/ @scorndotexe/ @death-born-aphrodite/ long story short- taylor swift

[ladylurknomoar-deactivated20131]

Female Power in The Ocean at the End of the Lane

The Ocean at the End of the Lane is the femalest book from a male author I have read in a long time. The unnamed protagonist is stuck in the middle of a conflict between insanely powerful supernatural women: the evil Ursula Monkton / flea, and the good Hempstocks. Our hero is vulnerable and quite passive, although this is not surprising, as he’s only seven. The other characters are much less relevant – and the only two male characters are his father, whose plot-relevant actions are all controlled by the supernatural women, and the opal miner, whose failure and death is the catalysis for the plot. (Note – no named male characters.) Even the media the protagonist uses for escapism are heavily coded female. He reads his mother’s book collection, all of them with female protagonists named in the title, all of them doubtless intended for girls. In his darkest hour, when he is crouching in the fairy circle, he keeps despair at bay by quoting from two texts: Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland and Gilbert and Sullivan’s Iolanthe. Both texts have male writers and female protagonists.

Women are clearly more relevant than men to the plot, and to the protagonist’s world. The Hempstocks continuously save him, comfort him, save him, help him. This story could turn into the standard narrative of “women support man, man does heroic thing.” I expected it to. I thought the hero will somehow end up saving the day, or Lettie’s life, and having become a man, will gain the respect of old Mrs Hempstock. But he doesn’t. It’s not for lack of trying – he is brave and good, and willing to sacrifice himself for the world – but he simply can’t do the manly heroic thing in this narrative. Women are waging war around him on levels he cannot compete with, or even comprehend. These women will continue to save and nurture him, but not because he is a hero who is deserving of it, but out of pity and kindness. When a woman is kind to a man, that doesn’t mean he is good – it just means she is.

The Hempstock family closely mirrors the maiden-mother-crone trinity. I always found that categorisation inherently sexist, because it defines women by their reproductive and sexual capacities.  (The maiden is before procreation, and additionally at the height of her sexual attractiveness. The mother is at the height of her reproductive capacities. The crone has lost both sexual attractiveness and reproductive capacities, in exchange she is wise.) But Gaiman’s women are different. They don’t need men, and if they keep men are around, that is irrelevant who they themselves are. The maiden here is prepubescent, and not attractive – merely neat in her red raincoat. The mother isn’t anyone’s wife, and her motherliness rests in her strength and comfort, not her actual reproductive abilities. And the crone isn’t merely wise, she is as close to being God as it is possible to be without outright stating it.

These three powerful women are described with love and awe, and incidentally, in an utterly asexual manner. They are clearly idealised versions of woman, or considering their different life stages, one Idea of Woman. And this Ideal Woman is strong , self-sufficient, and whether or not the writer or the reader wants to fuck her is irrelevant. Even when abandoning a seven-year-old’s innocent point-of-view, when the narrator expresses an awareness that Young Mrs Hempstock is attractive, it is done in an off-hand, cursory manner.

In this book, Neil Gaiman shows us that he loves women. This does not mean he never made a sexist statement, or he never will. It just means that he wrote a novel in which women are powerful and, for the most part, good. I am not one to clumsily grasp for autobiographical detail, even if it was Gaiman’s decision to leave the narrator nameless and include a childhood photo of himself. The truth is in the novel: the artist is doing his best, despite the hole in his heart, but time and time again, he needs the help of Woman, not to accomplish his grand purpose, just to stay alive.

[neil-gaiman]

SPOILERS

I’ll take that (and I have no doubts that you could find sexism in my life, my work or the world, but I do my best).

I didn’t think anyone would notice that both Iolanthe and Alice (and the imaginary books) all had women’s names as titles, and am impressed that someone noticed.

[sarathedreamerr-deactivated2023]

listen I adore the many angsty, hurt/comfort kanej fics out there but there is just something about older, domestic kaz and inej just living their lives being criminals and in love that just makes me go—

[cameliawrites]

Oh I will absolutely be taking this opportunity to rec some kanej fics that I think fall into the specific niche category of “post-CK, established relationship, domestic kanej fluff,” because winter days are dark and long and we could all use fics that are soft and warm and bright. Here are LITERALLY TWENTY offerings, go feast.

(I tried my best to tag all the authors whose tumblr handles I could find. Also, please feel free to reply/reblog with your own fic recs, because there’s just too much good content in this fandom to let anything get buried in the back of the archive!! Months- and years-old fics deserve comments too!)

So, in no particular order (with the authors’ summaries from ao3):

Homeland by @unfortunate17 (an all-time favorite of mine. outsider pov perfection.)

“You’re Jordan’s wife?”

If anyone in their town would’ve gone out looking for a foreign beauty, it would’ve been Jordie. He had an adventurer’s spirit, bold and daring. If Maja squinted at the old rope swing by the lake, she could still see the silhouette of him, leaping into the water while Kasper worried from his perch on the banks.

But Inej’s face freezes in an odd expression. “Not quite,” she says haltingly. “I’m married to his younger brother – Kaz?”

---

Or, the town of Lij is endlessly fascinated with the mysterious Mr. and Mrs. Rietveld each and every time they visit.

A Lovely Night by its_alenatic (some lovely banter + hair braiding!)

On nights like these, Kaz Brekker pays a visit to the Van Eck estate to see the light of his life, the keeper of his heart... and spends some quality time with her

What’s in a Name by @decafetherealki (sailor wife Kaz rights + impeccable humor)

“Damn, Kaz. Inej is extra out of your league now,” Jesper mused with a wicked grin, absently playing with Wylan’s fingers. Kaz narrowed his eyes in return but was distracted by a murmur that went over the group.

“…Kaz?” a girl asked. “The captain’s Kaz? You’re Kaz Ghafa?”

Silence.

Well. This was unexpected.

Or

Now that Inej is an international pirate, she's developed a pretty renowned reputation. This has surprising consequences for Kaz. To the Kerch, he may be Dirtyhands, but to the rest of the world he's now Captain Ghafa's husband.

It's a little stressful, honestly.

forever is the sweetest con by @downn-in-flames (a classic. iconic. endlessly rereadable.)

“So you’re… so you’re actually marrying Inej because you love her,” he reiterates.

“No, I’m marrying Inej for the tax incentives,” Kaz repeats, as if Jesper is somehow the stupid one here. “The fact that I love her is entirely separate from the fact that Kerch law favors married partners."

simple luxuries by TheTenthSunrise (short & tooth-rottingly sweet + oh-so-gentle kaz)

inej stumbles home drunk, to kaz.

they say home is where your heart is set in stone by theoneiam2277 (the dregs ship kanej just as much as we do and it’s great)

Three of the Dregs witness unexpected moments of love and domesticity.

----

Rotty rubs his eyes once.

Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, is still drying dishes in the Slat's kitchen, dressed in an impeccable suit.

i could never define all that you are to me by @theheart-isanarrow (more hair-braiding perfection)

They stop at the back of the Slat, and Inej looks at him wordlessly. He knows what she is thinking; if she comes through the front entrance, everyone will be tipped off about her being back, and they will not be able to catch a moment of true aloneness again.

He nods. “Go ahead,” he says, “I’ll meet you up. I would say it’s a race, but, well…” he trails off, gestures to his leg, then to his open window—

—always open, like he is expecting her, even when she is away at sea—

—and she laughs, tipping her head back. Her hair falls down her back like a waterfall.

--

OR; Kaz braids Inej's hair

have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways by redbrunja (jealous kaz + a pitch-perfect ending)

Inej has developed a network of people to assist her hunt for slavers, including her handsome, tall, devoted lieutenant.

Kaz hates him.

the air you breathe by @alltheworldsinmyhead (girl dad kaz rights. so nostalgic.)

On a warm, summer evening, Kaz lets his eldest daughter slip through his fingers. The practice apparently does not make perfect in certain cases.

Wayward Waltzes by teacup_tyrant (I’m such a sucker for kanej slow dancing)

The Usual Suspects are in Ravka for the Winter Fete. Inej gets bombarded by dance partners and Kaz isn't pleased when one of them is a little too forward...

turning saints into the sea by terribletruths (in my top 5 all-time favorite fics. no joke.)

“HAND OVER THE RAVKAN, OR WE WILL BREAK IN.” A man wearing the silver badge of a stadwatch captain bellowed at the wrong window. “Like hell you will.” Brekker growled to himself, standing reluctantly and limping to the window. Inej just shook her head. “They won’t have any intelligence. Kaz is just the prime suspect whenever anything goes wrong for the Merchant Council.” The prime suspect sighed deeply, shoved the window open with his cane, and leant out.

----

Inej acquires a rather valuable political prisoner. Kaz acquires a burning hatred for him.

if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my babe and my babe would have me by @youareiron-andyouarestrong (badass protective wife inej, get it girl)

Brekker raised his cane and knocked the knife out of midair, sending it into the wall. He braced himself against the desk, cane still in hand. He eyed them with a look that could only be described as affronted annoyance. “Only my wife gets to throw knives at me.”

*

Some years down the road, an assassination attempt is leveled against Kaz. Inej absolutely does not take it well.

the golden hour by @apropensityforcharm (give kaz a nap!!)

Kaz promised to meet Inej at the harbour whenever she arrives in Ketterdam, but this time he's nowhere to be found. Inej goes in search of where he could be.

A Tough Act To Follow by @anonniemousefics (kaz’s love language is gift-giving!!)

He’d surprised her on her last birthday – and surprised her good. Inej wore a crooked grin on her lips in the dark when she thought of it, as she held lock picks in her teeth. That sly, clever bastard.

She’d get him this time.

A lovely anonymous on Tumblr asked for a little something about Kaz and Inej celebrating a birthday, and I got kinda carried away.

To look for her by @whynotcherries (also give inej a nap!!)

"When she returned, she had a glow to her like he’d never seen before; like there was a halo surrounding her, like she’d returned a Saint."

Or, Kaz's early morning admiration of Inej.

pillow talk by bookworlders (ok so I might be obsessed w soft & sleepy kanej)

So this was pillow talk with Kaz Brekker. Post-CK.

they're the house (you're the pigeon) by @jackwolfes (i would like to get drunk on this fic, kaz would like to get drunk on inej’s laugh, nature is healing, etc.)

She’s everything. His wraith, his queen, his everything. She could be more, and he knows that too: he just doesn’t know how to ask.

He finds his train of thought cut off anyway when a bouquet of flowers hits him in the face.

--

Or: the things you think about when you're presented with the woman you love at your best friend's wedding

sankta by @finnicks (sometimes 3 sentences is all you need)

"Sankta Inej," Kaz murmurs and chuckles as she hides her face beneath the cover of her hands.

Give You My Wild, Give You A Child by @cassianendor (adorable babyfic makes me feral tbh)

“We talked about this last week, Kaz.” She tries to be firm, but it comes out breathier than she intended.

“And have you considered my offer?” he hums against her.

Inej pushes lightly at his shoulders, she can’t think with him now mouthing at her collarbone like that. “You’re a ridiculous man, and the Barrel has rotted your brain. You can’t just bribe me with a new ship to have your baby.”

He only meets her eyes and pouts. “How about two ships?”

a family pulled up from a flood by pumpkinpaperweight (we love a surprise kanej wedding + chaotic found family, don’t we?)

Nina finally came to herself and burst out into the aisle to confront Kaz, indignant. “You said we were needed for a job at a wedding!” “You are,” said Kaz briskly, taking the ledger from Rotty and flipping through it. “I thought we’d be robbing some mercher event! Doing a real job!” “That’s your folly. Besides, I haven’t told you what you have to do, yet.” “This is your wedding!" Kaz looked blankly at her. “Did I say it wasn’t?” -- it's a fine day in ketterdam when two monsters are wed.

and if you’ve made it this far in the rec list, two bonus entries (lol):

and if you see me in the darkness, I hope you know I'm not alone by @sarathedreamerr (pushing the ‘kanej get a cat’ agenda)

Kaz raised both brows at the animal, unimpressed. The cat glared back.

or, Kaz Brekker reluctantly adopts a very mean cat. a fluffy, sometimes silly, sometimes angsty little thing I wrote, told in 4 parts.

In the Wild Soft Summer Darkness by @cameliawrites (to paraphrase taylor swift, who’s cameliawrites anyways? ew.)

As the summer heat scorches in Ketterdam, Kaz and Inej take to Kaz’s childhood home in the countryside. Of course, each of them seems to have a separate scheme afoot; whether to savor the season’s sweetness, or to let it slip away.

—

“Why are you acting so strangely?” Kaz asked.

“Because,” Inej managed in giggles and gasps, “I’m trying so hard to seduce you right now, and all you tell me is not to—not to drip on the Saints-damned desk.”

[decafetherealki]

Idk I just like talking about potential Crows weddings.

On this edition: Wesper elopes and Kaz is PISSED

Kaz: you made…SUCH an ordeal….about going to our wedding….

Jesper: ya, we wanted to attend and show our support ❤️

Kaz: AND THEN YOU ELOPE?!

Wylan: it just kind of happened

Kaz: You’re getting remarried.

Jesper: what? Why?

Kaz: so you can have a stupid, ridiculously lavish wedding. I can’t believe this. You make Inej and I have this outlandishly excessive party-

Wylan: you got married covered in blood and we had to steal the food from a random bakery

Kaz: -and you get away with eloping?!

Jesper: I don’t understand. Did you want to go to our wedding?

Kaz: no

Jesper: then why are you upset?

Kaz: it’s the principle of the matter

Inej: I mean, I thought it was nice.

Kaz: how nice could it have- wait. You were there?

Wylan: we needed a witness.

Kaz, to Inej: you let this happen? After we were forced to look like Ravkan Grisha greeting royalty?

Jesper: your wedding literally took twenty minutes and you were wearing the same suit you are now

[fantastic-nonsense]

we haven't talked enough about how the Bathroom Scene ends with Kaz dramatically saying "if you ever cared about me, you won't follow. you'll stay here" as he walks off to his potential death and then the literal next page opens with Inej internally monologuing "well that was offensive. What would I even do...go home and marry a normal man? Yeah right. You're it for me, buddy" as she stalks him over the rooftops