Learning Silence: Pre Six Months Free
TW: Child whumpee, lab whump, procedure done without anesthesia, manipulation, emotional whump, electric shocks, living weapon in training, comfort object taken. (Let me know if there's anything else I should add!)
The table was cold beneath EI427, especially in the paper gown she had to wear. It was a rule in the Table Room. Whenever she was in here, she had to wear the paper gown. It was okay, though, because she was allowed to have her comfort item when in the Table Room, too. Goosebumps covered her skin, and she hugged her stuffed bunny tightly. She hadn’t seen a bunny before, but when she chose her comfort item, the scientist told her that’s what it was. A bunny. Her bunny was soft, like the cotton balls they used to stop blood after a shot, so EI427 had named it Cotton. Cotton had an actual name, like the scientists. Cotton wasn’t an EI Subject like EI427 was.
Shifting uncomfortably, EI427 stared down at Cotton. It wasn’t the same, pure white color as actual cotton balls. She didn’t quite know what color it was. The closest comparison EI427 had was to old bandages. When wraps were first put on someone, they were clean white. After some time, though, they were dirty. It was like… If brown, yellow, and white were mixed together. That was similar to the color of Cotton’s fur.
Doctor Crabtree turned to face EI427. He wasn’t one of the scientists she had met before, and he had a mask over his mouth and nose, so she couldn’t really see his expression. There was also a funny-looking hair net on his head. All EI427 could make out were big, fuzzy eyebrows, and he was big beneath his Scientist Outfit. Broad shoulders, muscly arms, and big, meaty hands that held a clipboard. “EI427, we’ll be performing a bone marrow biopsy and aspiration today.”
She expected his voice to be rough, but it was really soft. Gentle. Slowly, EI427 eased the death grip she had on Cotton. “What does-”
“Hush now, I will explain,” he scolded. While his voice was still calm, his eyebrows tightened in an angry line. Her shoulders hunched together as he continued, an edge entering his tone. “In this procedure, we will collect samples from your bone. The needle will enter here—”
The hand that didn’t hold the clipboard patted his hip. “We’ll use this to look at how your body is making blood.”
From behind him, EI427 saw one of the nurses prepping a needle. It was really, really big. Her eyes widening, she recoiled from Dr. Crabtree and hugged Cotton as tightly as she could. It was going to hurt. She really didn’t like needles, but when they took blood, it was a tiny needle. This one was big.
Seeing her fear, the doctor patted her knee. The paper gown made a crunchy sound at his touch. “You will be still,” he said softly. “It will be uncomfortable, but it won’t last long. Do you understand?”
Her lower lip trembled, but she forced herself to nod. “Yes, sir,” EI427 whispered.
“Good girl.” Doctor Crabtree stood from his stool. He was really tall, towering over her. She found herself relieved when he turned away to pull on the blue gloves. “Lay down on your stomach. You will be restrained for this procedure, so you cannot hold your comfort object. Would you like the nurse to position it where you can still see it?”
She couldn’t hold Cotton? A tear rolled down her cheek as she squeezed her bunny so hard, her arms trembled. “I will stay still,” she pleaded. “I’ll be so good, I promise, you don’t-you don’t have to tie me. Just let me hold it, please.”
But the door opened, and two more nurses entered the room to join the nurse prepping the needles. There was a second needle now. EI427’s entire body was shaking now, and she hugged her knees to her chest, squeezing Cotton between her legs and her belly. One of the nurses was a woman. She was plump, dark-skinned, and had a kind face. She was smaller than Dr. Crabtree.
The nice nurse knelt in front of EI427’s table, smiling softly. Another tear escaped her eyes, and the nurse wiped it away. “I know, it seems scary,” the nurse said. “But you’re a good girl, aren’t you? Everyone told me that EI427 is a very, very good subject.”
“I….” The subject nodded, sniffing once. “I am.”
“I thought so. See, I know you’re scared, but I need you to be brave. This is just one of your checkups.” She smiled at EI427, then scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue.
A little giggle escaped EI427’s lips. Smile growing, the nurse shrugged. “That’s it! We need to see how strong you’re getting. You want to be strong, don’t you?”
The nurse stood as EI427 nodded. Slowly, she unclenched her trembling body. One of her fingers anxiously rubbed Cotton’s fur. “I do, I just…. I want to hold Cotton.”
“I know you do, but strong girls also need to be brave. It might hurt a little, but heroes are brave. Heroes don’t argue, and they stay quiet when it hurts.” Her eyebrows weren’t bushy, like Dr. Crabtree’s. Her eyebrows were little lines. She raised one in a question. “Aren’t you a hero?”
She was supposed to be. Swallowing, EI427 nodded again. Heroes don’t argue. Heroes stay quiet when it hurts. She… She could do that. “I can still see Cotton, right?” EI427 whispered.
The nurse patted E I427’s knee as she gently pried away the comfort object. “Of course, you can still see it. Cotton will be safe. Now, can you be a good girl and lie down on your belly?”
Her eyes darted around the room. Nice Nurse was the only other girl. The other nurses were big, strong people, like Doctor Crabtree. EI427’s powers were weak because she was still weak. She wasn’t strong enough for her powers. Not strong enough to fight the scientists. Some of the other EI subjects tried to fight the doctors, but it never worked. If they tried, nurses forced them onto the table. They still had to do the procedures, and then they were punished afterward. EI427 didn’t want to be punished.
She lay down. There was a little opening in the table for her face, so she could see the floor. Nice Nurse’s shoes. A gentle hand pet her hair, then Cotton was set down on the tiled floor right beneath her head so EI427 could see it.
Cotton wasn’t an EI subject. Cotton had a name. Cotton would never have procedures done. But…. But EI427 shouldn’t be jealous. Cotton would never be a hero, and if she was a good girl, she’d be a hero. That was a very important job. So it was okay that she had to do procedures.
The back of her gown was untied, making goosebumps rise on the bare skin. Rough hands grabbed EI427’s wrists. She didn’t fight as they pulled her arms back, and fastened them to the side of the table. Then her ankles. Then, finally, a restraint that pulled over her back to keep her in place. Her breaths were coming too fast.
Be a good girl. Good girls have to be brave.
Heroes are brave. Heroes don’t argue. Heroes stay quiet.
Something cold swiped over her hip, and EI427 stiffened, squeezing her hands into tight little fists. It was going to hurt a little. But she could be good, she could sit here and be good, and—
The needle pressed into her skin. This wasn’t unusual; she’d had a lot of blood taken before. It hurt, but it was the kind of pain she was used to.
Except this needle kept going. It didn’t stop.
Her fingers twitched against the restraints. A small, startled breath hitched in her throat as the pressure grew, deeper and deeper, pushing against something really hard, like stone. What was it doing, why didn’t it stop, shots always stopped!
But this didn’t. It pushed and pushed until it broke into something inside that wasn’t supposed to give—and then it kept pushing anyway.
The pain changed. Sharp and deep, it wasn’t like a needle in her skin it was…. It was under her skin, something that wasn’t supposed to be touched, and the needle stayed there—
A broken cry tore out of her before she could stop it.
Her body jerked against the restraints, panic flooding her chest as the sound echoed too loud in the room. Heroes stayed quiet when it hurt. Good girls acted like heroes. Her eyes flew open, blurring with tears as she sucked in a shaking breath, trying to swallow the rest of it down—
Doctor Crabtree’s voice was calm. Disappointed. The needle shifted slightly, like he’d let go of it, but it was still inside her hip. The small movement made another little cry escape her, despite the terror churning in her belly.
“You were given clear instructions.”
Her stomach dropped. She couldn’t breathe. “I—” The word came out in a sob. “I’m sorry, I’ll be good, I’m sorry—”
Something cold snapped around her neck. For a split second, nothing happened. Then electricity tore through her.
Her back arched violently, a strangled scream tearing through her throat as the shock ripped through her muscles. She strained at the restraints, screaming and crying, and the pain just kept growing until it stole the air from her lungs.
“Quiet,” the doctor said.
She bit down hard, until her teeth hurt. Blood filled her mouth but the scream stopped. Slowly, like turning off a faucet, the current cut off. Her whole body was trembling. Her lungs burnt for air, but she was so scared of making another sound. She tried to breathe through her nose.
The needle was still inside her.
Tears fell down her cheeks.
They made little puddles around Cotton beneath her.
Maintain control. Her mind reeled, trying to catch up, trying to remember—rules, rules, what were the rules—
Heroes don’t argue. Heroes stay quiet when it hurts.
A sob hit her chest. She swallowed it down, choking on it, forcing her lips shut so tight they hurt. If she opened her mouth, she’d cry, or scream, and then the electricity would come back.
“Good,” someone murmured.
It ripped through her where the needle was in her skin, deeper this time, a hollow, dragging pain that made her vision flash white. Her body jolted. A small gasp escaped her—
The shock was weaker this time. A warning as the noise passed her lips, and her mouth opened, every instinct screaming to cry out, to beg, to stop it—
She clamped her lips shut. Nothing came out.
Her breath broke instead, silent and shaking, tears spilling down her face as she stared at Cotton on the floor, clinging to the only thing she had left to hold onto.
Her fingers curled tighter, nails biting into her skin, her whole body locked in place as she forced herself to stay still, to stay quiet, to be—
The words blurred together with the pain, distant and warm and wrong.
The needle finally withdrew.
She thought the pain would stop, but the ache stayed, deep and throbbing, like something inside her had been taken and left empty.
Her breaths came in small, silent gasps as they bandaged her hip and she didn’t know what else they did. Tears and black spots swam in her vision. The doctors left Cotton on the floor. They left the collar on her neck. She wanted to hold Cotton. It would make her feel better.
EI427 couldn’t stop shaking. Through the ringing in her ears, she heard Dr Crabtree’s voice as he spoke to a nurse taking notes. “Subject required correction, but compliance was achieved.”
She didn’t dare make another sound.
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