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okay so i was thinking about foils yesterday because midge maisel and sophie lennon from mrs. maisel are really good ones.

so if you’re not familiar with the show, it’s set in the late fifties to early sixties. midge maisel is a wealthy jewish woman from manhattan whose husband cheated on her with her secretary and she accidentally began a career in comedy because she was so drunk and pissed off while still being charming.

sophie lennon is the most famous comedienne in the country, but she does a single character bit where she’s a loud, raunchy woman from queens while she’s ACTUALLY a very wealthy and condescending woman from ann arbor michigan who went to yale school of drama and wants to be a serious actress but feels pigeon-holed into her role. she gets into a feud with midge because she tells midge she can never make it as herself and midge gets VERY angry and takes her to task during a show for being a fraud.

then sophie bullies midge’s friend and manager into being HER manager so that she can get her first broadway show and try out the life that she wants to lead. and according to the manager, she’s really good. she’s a terrible person to work with because she’s about 5 times past diva but it works.

and then, she gets nervous during the show because a few things go wrong opening night. and she derails the entire performance with her stage persona. and this is a serious broadway play, y’all. it’s like if john mulaney were playing hamlet, got very nervous about playing hamlet, and then decided to do the horse in the hospital bit instead of gently cradling yorrick’s head and talking at it.

and this is on the same episode where midge decides that she’s not going to take a paycheck from a racist politician to be in an ad for her. sophie wouldn’t even give her dreams an authentic chance during the same episode where midge was willing to put money on the line to do the right thing.

it’s interesting that one of this show’s core themes is “being yourself” while also showing the dire negative consequences that sometimes come from that because it’s the 50s to 60s with all the pitfalls that come with that.

abuu2go

(via 「思わず二度見する不思議さ…」タトゥー風の足を持つ猫:らばQ)

fierceawakening

somebody cut and pasted the wrong leg onto this cat

trans-girl-nausicaa

this cat looks like a coworker at a restaurant who has been “saving up for the other sleeve” for 5 years

prettyboysdontlookatexplosions

i guess also i sort of think that the genre erotic writing, broadly defined as writing that is about sex that is intended to be potentially sexy if not necessarily to be true pure jerkoff material, has most in common with is actually probably horror, because these are both genres that take on themselves the challenge of eliciting in the reader a set of reactions that are fundamentally inseparable from embodiment (sorry that's a really annoying way to say that) (also i had this thought basically like Right Now for the first time ever it is NOT a well tested hypothesis i am just running my mouth on my tumblr blog) (ETA: also now i'm like maybe i stole this thought from somewhere by accident??? but if that's the case i have TRULY no idea where from). and, like, you know, even if for the most part good horror writing isn't going to actually scare you, it's still going to elicit a sort of pleasurable echo of that sensation - i think haunting of hill house is a good example of this, because i wouldn't say that book kept me up at night or anything but reading the horror-est parts of that book put me sort of comfortably and pleasantly close to that emotional space. (i guess as i'm thinking through this, this is also sort of my explanation for why i find it enjoyable to read good sex writing even if i am not literally jerking off to it, which for the record i'm usually not lmao - like even if it's not literally physically turning me on hormonally in my sex organs, it's having an affective effect [omg this post is soooo annoying sorry] that calls upon my lifetime of being turned on by other things and is fun and interesting to experience.)

and then, like, most erotic writing excerpts i come across are like the sex equivalent of if a horror novel tried to be like "the ghost was so fucking scary. it was the scariest goddamn ghost you could imagine. my skin was literally the temperature of a refrigerator. it hurled at least sixteen objects across the room." like where's the atmosphere... where's the vibe...

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

batneko

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

lizardlicks

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

art by Daviddv1202

dawen

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

2percentsugar

the fact that "eco" and "ethical" are two separate concerns in the global north, and that "eco" is a much more popular concern, with many "eco" products being made in actual sweatshops, is a big part of why i am The Joker

2percentsugar

if you think this is an exaggeration or splitting hairs where it doesn't matter:

i used to work at a Local Organic Produce store that's popular with the lefties in my city who are interested in food justice. i quit for a lot of reasons, mostly the boss, but something i will always remember is one of our suppliers coming in to drop off produce, being told her check wasn't ready, and her laughing and responding it didn't matter -- even a low bank account was more than enough to pay the migrants who picked her produce. i am not filling in any blanks here. she said this.

after quitting, this was a common story i told people about my time there. some then became annoyed at me, acting like i was a wokescold trying to undermine the store's "eco" mission with unrelated "ethical" concerns. but, like -- if food justice isn't for the people making food, who the fuck is it for?

like, don't get me wrong. my contention here is that the things go hand in hand, and that something which is unethical isn't actually eco. after all, humans are a part of the fucking ecosystem, and if a product can only be made by unsustainably exploiting humans, then it's unsustainable. doesn't matter which chemicals were used in making it, or whether or not animals were factory farmed.

falseficus

they *cannot* be separated. a product cannot be either eco or ethical — it must be both. a product that is made through human suffering cannot be eco for the reasons you said; a product that causes human suffering by contributing to the destruction of the ecosystem cannot be ethical. it must be both and we must insist on both

transcyberism

animals were harmed in the making of this product. incredibly intelligent, emotionally complex animals; primates, in fact, close relatives of the African great apes. human beings.

if you wouldn't want to buy a product where they harmed or abused gorillas or chimpanzees to make it, you shouldn't want to buy products where they harm or abuse human beings to make it. if destroying the rainforest upsets you because then the orangutans will have nowhere to live and raise their babies, destroying human communities and ripping apart human families via exploitative economic conditions should too. I actually think it should maybe upset you even more, as a human being yourself, but maybe that's just my dirty carnist speciesism or whatever.

incorrect-titansdc

Jason: I'm not ‘talking to myself.’ It’s called a soliloquy, asshole.

Dick: It’s only a soliloquy if it’s in verse. Otherwise it’s just a mental breakdown.

brawltogethernow

...Issue where this is the flashback at the end explaining why Red Hood spent the entire story speaking in verse out of flex-spite.

forthegothicheroine

We should invite Batman villains to the Met Gala. What could go wrong?

forthegothicheroine

I’m trusting the Riddler to keep the peace, by the way, because if any of the other villains try to pull a crime and ruin his chance to show off his self-designed outfit for the Notes on Camp theme, they will not live to see another morning.

susandsnell

I still argue if it’s a Crane iteration that has class motivations (ie the times he’s referred to Scarecrow as a symbol of poverty), he might go for it by dropping the fear toxin on such an ostentatious display of wealth.

forthegothicheroine

“Jonathan, first of all: this is a charity event; second of all, I spent all last month intricately stitching this suit inspired by Andy Warhol’s tinfoil wallpaper, time which could have been devoted to composing riddles, and if you get in between me and the paparazzi, you will have a mortal enemy for the rest of your very short life.”

should-be-sleeping

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

should-be-sleeping

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

should-be-sleeping

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

should-be-sleeping

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

joanthreatt

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

jetix

‘White Cat with Gemstones’ by Joseph Jones Oil and acrylic on linen, 2026

catflowerqueen

#shut the fuck up no

#no that is not

#that is not oil and acrylic on linen youre fucking with me

vinelark

hmm my former landlords are trying to deduct a frankly off the rails amount of money from our security deposit…my time has come once again

vinelark

i was chatting with a coworker about this whole saga today and someone nearby popped into the convo to be like “you know, you can use chatgpt to write a demand letter!” and i sort of blinked and went, “okay. i did it myself, though.” and she was like, “yeah but it can tell you what laws and stuff are relevant” and i was like, “i also did research myself.” and she was very well-meaning but she said “chatgpt” like six more times before she left and it was genuinely baffling to me, this insistence on it.

and in the one hand, did i enjoy spending hours researching housing regulations in my state? not especially. drafting this email was stressful. but on the other hand, did i learn a lot by doing that research? yeah, i did. i’m more prepared for my current and future leases. i used some of that info to make decisions about a new renter’s insurance policy. i already told three different people about things i learned that are relevant to their leases that they didn’t know yet. (pro tip: see if you’re supposed to be getting annual interest payments on your security deposit! also look up what specific appliances your landlords must legally provide as of 2026.) i also got to reconnect with my cousin for a bit because her job gave her specific insight on part of the situation, and i’d much rather do that than have a chatbot make shit up for me.

also, i drafted that email with the power of friendship (friends angry on our behalf) and spite (from landlords telling me not to do my research). chatgpt could never.

(we got the money back, by the way 💪)

chantylay

Please never use generative AI tools for any kind of legal dispute. It does not know what laws or court cases are. It will make up something that sounds favorable to you, and you will get crushed. There are free resources out there to learn this stuff. And sometimes attorneys will offer free consultations or volunteer at a free legal clinic. OP didn't just do it themselves to do extra work or some shit. This is really the only viable way to do things short of hiring a professional to do it for you.

ChatGPT is not easier or faster in matters like this. It is a shot to the foot.

caffeinewitchcraft

Magpie Love

“The first rule of love,” her mother says, voice crackling over the phone, “is to never take more than they can give.”

Finola’s eyes dart to the shoebox under her bed and then back out the dorm window. Her room is on the second floor this year and she can see more of the trees than she can see of the grassy space preceding the dining hall. “I know, Mom.”

“Remember.” Her mother’s voice is sharp and Finola can almost see her heavy, thick brows lowering until shadows cover her eyes. “No clothing. No bags. Never any jewelry.”

Finola wraps her free arm around her waist and closes her eyes. The light breeze rolling through the window smells like eucalyptus and mint. Her mouth waters. “I know, Mom.”

“Those are the big things,” her mother says, “but remember that too many of the small things can amount to a big thing.”

The shoebox under the bed gleams in a stray ray of light. Finola licks her lips. “I know, but—I need something. I have to. I feel like she’ll disappear if I don’t.” The words are inadequate for the sick fear in her stomach each time she loses sight of her. The horrible certainty that something bad will happen if she’s not by her side. She rubs a hand over her mouth.

Her mother’s tongue clicks. “That’s old instincts, Finola. Fight it. You don’t want your father and I to pull you out of school, do you?”

The memory of watching her high school fade out of sight surfaces and, in that moment, she’s sixteen again. She can feel her heart beating too fast, the scream ripping out of her throat, the way the ropes chafed her wrists. She can smell her first love’s perfume, cloying peach, in the air. She can feel their separation like a death in the pit of her stomach, radiating up into her chest, her throat, her head.

Keep reading

#always reread

suiheisen

i watch baseball for the side quests

dappergamelord

throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout

stuckinnet

this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl

warriornunnery

baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.

and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:

or the beloved hot foot prank:

or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:

or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:

yokowan

i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post

randomthunk

Sometimes you have to entertain yourself out in the field too, like the time Victor Robles made friends with a praying mantis.

warriornunnery

and some college baseball shenanigans

catbreon-draws

I’m p

Yes I’m

Yes hmmms ow

Tnhk

catbreon-draws

Tumblr wouldn’t let me upload the video but I let the mice write a tumblr post for me and this is the result :^)

ohfuck-abastard-deactivated2023

i thought that was just. a regular tumblr post and accepted it

blahwithasideofblah

Me, literally every year: I wonder if my good friend Jonathan Harker has escaped his time loop yet. Jonathan, literally every year: Left Munich at 8:35 P. M Me: JONATHAN NO!!!

sandersstudies

“Kids shouldn’t have to know about that.”

Okay so actually letting a serious topic be vague and confusing is much more scary for a child than explaining it in calm language they can understand.

sandersstudies

When you are in a safe place, explain the serious topic in a way the child can understand.

The fire alarm went off at school today because of a mistake, but your teachers did the right thing to take you outside to be sure it was safe.

Some people use wheelchairs because their legs don’t walk very well. It can happen because they are old and tired, or because they got hurt, or because they were born that way.

Your Uncle Jerod talked to mom and dad, and wants you to call her Aunt Kari now. We will call her Kari too, and we can all practice together if it takes some getting used to.

Anticipate age-appropriate fears the child might have so you can assuage those that are not a threat.

Yes, Kitty died at the vet, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not safe for Puppy to go to the vet.

Yes, Peyton and Jo are getting a divorce, but they are both still part of our family and love you very much.

Yes, Grandma has cancer, but cancer is not contagious, so you are not going to get cancer by visiting her.

Anticipate fears that are realistic, and give the child clear direction about what to do, and what happens next.

If someone asks you to get in their car without permission, find Mom, Mama, or a teacher and tell them right away. We will make sure you are safe.

If Sparky’s sickness makes him hurt very badly, we are going to take him to the vet and she will give him some medicine, and he will die, but then he won’t hurt any more. Because Sparky is very sick, we are going to spend some special time with him over the next few days.

If the fire alarm goes off at school again, follow the teacher’s directions. If the fire alarm goes off and you are somewhere alone, go outside, and ask a grownup to call 911.

Reassure the child that they’re safe and loved, validate their feelings, and see if they have follow-up questions. Give them the option to take space to process, or to stay near you to feel safe.

I’m sad about Sparky too. Do you think we could make his favorite peanut-butter treats, while we are spending special time with him?

I understand why Grandma’s cancer makes you feel angry. It doesn’t seem fair that people we love get sick. Would you like a hug?

You were worried about calling 911 if there’s not a grownup around. I wrote down some important things, like our address, and we can go over these together so you are ready if anything like that ever happens.

sandersstudies

These things are principally the job of the child’s parent or guardian, but in some cases directing the child to that caregiver is difficult or impossible (parent refuses/confuses the child, parent is absent, child’s questions are specific and relevant to a situation their parent was not present for, etc.) so I think all adults should be prepared to have these conversations with kids.

thestuffedalligator

Shout out to the clover, the dandelion and the daisy. The triumvirate of springtime childish whimsy. WHO is doing it like them

thestuffedalligator

This plant, we tell children, has a one in ten-thousand chance to have four leaves. You can search through a clover patch all day and never find one. But if you do, and you pluck it and keep it, it will bring you luck.

And this flower, we tell children, if you let it bud and bloom and age from sun-yellow flower to moon-white seed, you can then pluck it and blow its seeds away to make a wish.

And this flower, we tell children, can be woven into a hat

gnomebutch

I find it so insidious how people see the obvious correlation between autism and gender non conformity and say it’s because autists are somehow biologically more transgender on average rather than realizing that gender as a whole is a oppressive construct that punishes those who aren’t good at fitting into social norms

ingridverse

I have a theory, based on nothing but speculation, but here goes.

If you deviate from The Norm on one axis, it's that much easier to deviate in other axes. If you've already disappointed your parents once, you have nothing to lose.

Suppose you are a straight white cis boy who loves acting. If you raise the issue of becoming an actor, you will get tremendous resistance. It's not financially secure, it's not a Real Job, it's not respectable.

But if you're gay, you're already not respectable so pursuing acting doesn't change things much. If you're autistic and can't/won't mask you're already not fitting in, so you have nothing to lose from exploring your gender identity. If you're already gay, why not be a communist? If you're already polyamorous, why not be an artist? If you're already a fashion designer, why not stop masking? If you already ship Disney princesses, why not transition?

Once you break one oppressive social construct and the sky doesn't fall, the rest of the oppressive social constructs start to look reeeeal flimsy.

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