@noblecharley Make Me Choose : LUKE SKYWALKER (SASS) OR LEIA ORGANA (SASS)
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@amaranthiinee
@noblecharley Make Me Choose : LUKE SKYWALKER (SASS) OR LEIA ORGANA (SASS)
honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying
the first time someone had twins
lmaooo āgang in dis bitchā
The āI canāt readā took me out ššššš
One nut. One child ššš
I love genuinely innocent āboys will be boys.ā Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans theyād left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going āYOOOOOOOOOOā
I heard grunting outside my window the other night and there were four boys struggling to push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down the sidewalk.
I once lost my keys at a frat house.
My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully-disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch.Ā Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out.Ā I do not remember this part.
The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house.Ā I stood there, right in front of the front door.Ā This was a novel experience for me.Ā Iād never been at a frat house in broad daylight before.
A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing.Ā
āI lost my keys in here last night,ā I called back.Ā Ā āI was seeing if I could go in and look for them?ā
He opened the door and gestured for me to come in.
āGo wherever you want.ā
Iād never seen a frat house post-party before.Ā Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light.Ā A few of them threw puzzled glances my way.Ā Iām sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination.
I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller-esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed.
āDo you like dog movies?ā he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket.
I told him I did.
He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing.Ā I told him I was looking for my keys.
āSorry, I havenāt seen any keys around here.ā
I didnāt doubt him.
Twenty minutes had passed.Ā Iād searched just about every bedroom and nuclear-waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house.Ā Iād given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommatesā forgiveness and get a new set copied.
As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly-burly frat boy approached me.
āYou need help with something?ā
āI lost my keys here last night and I canāt find them, Iāve looked everywhere.ā
āWhat do they look like?Ā Iāll put it into the group chat.āĀ He was already pulling out his phone.
No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell.Ā It was worth a shot.Ā Ā āUm, itās just a ring of keys.Ā The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big.Ā Like bright pink, you canāt miss it.ā
He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat.
āAlright, I sent the message out.Ā Good luck.ā
And with that, he turned and left.
A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering.Ā It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder.Ā One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me.
āSomeone tell the girl!ā One of them shouted, faceless in the mob.Ā āGirl!Ā Hey, GIRL!!!Ā Ā We found your keys, girl!!!ā
They circled around me.Ā I hadnāt felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old.Ā One of them split himself off from the crowd.
āAre theseĀ -ā he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, āyour keys?ā
And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring.
āYes,ā I whispered.Ā Ā āOh my god, yes.ā
āEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!ā
The cheer went up.
Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs.Ā I thanked them again profusely.Ā There was a scattered round ofĀ āno problemsā and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night.
I just wanna be cute and have money for tattoos
real talk, superheroes can be so focused on stupid shit sometimesā¦arms dealers this, drug dealers that⦠take down the fucking government already you stupid bitches!!
im not even a 2nd choice im like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th
avengers: endgame?
more like avengers: end of me
vines yāall have been sleeping on aka vines i havenāt seen in comps but still make me happy
IāVE NEVER SEEN THAT ASL ONE BEFORE DOES ANYONE HAVE A LINK TO THAT BY ITSELF?
i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was likeĀ āIāve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what Iām saying makes sense, iām simply stating the obvious. iām sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.ā and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and iāve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.
Men automatically assume theyāre more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. Iāve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male
Iāll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that sheās on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented withĀ āgood luckā and other encouraging messages. A manās comment was advice on how to give birth.Ā
You have got to be kidding me
So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writerās museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said āwell Iāve never read the bookā
My dudeā¦ā¦ā¦..stop
my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to makeĀ ādonutsā, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking
iām a fucking pastry chef
met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if iād ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too
i have a degree in physics
and am a published coauthor in astrophysics
theĀ best part is that the woman who invented the termĀ āmansplainingā (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldnāt let her speak long enough for her to tell him that
she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her
You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.
I need to say this because itās super important those guys think that theyāre helping you and being nice!
Anyone who uses the term mansplaining has not seen a group of guys talk to each other because anything a guy brings up, another guy will come in and tell him how to do it right
Men and women just think differently in that way and itās hard when those two ideas clash because women tend to congratulate tend to give emotional support when it comes to anything someone else does. While men try to help logically and help with previous knowledge that they have which sometimes works out but sometimes doesnāt make sense.
But itās really annoying to see a bunch of women being mean to guys getting super excited and wanting to helping people in their own way and being demonized for it
for basically being men
Homework for everyone on this chain just stop talking about men and start actually listening to them like theyāre human beings.
Iām not taking homework from some rando on the internet. You can fuck off with that shit.
Funny howĀ ābeing niceā looks a lot likeĀ ācompletely ignoring someone elseās ability and agencyā¦ā
Anyway, my storyāor my parentsā story, rather.Ā Couple years ago my dad is buying a new Harley.Ā My mom is with him because a) agreeing on major purchasing decisions is just something you do in a healthy marriage and b) sheās a retired financial planner and she knows her way around money big time.Ā So theyāre going over the financing, and this dick of a salesman is trying to treat my dad like his best bro and basically acting like Mom doesnāt exist.Ā Even when sheās asking a question or offering a comment, heās directing all the answers at dad and dismissing her entirely.Ā Dad is getting pissed off (and would have walked out on the sale if Mom hadnāt indicated this asshole wasnāt worth it) until finally she turns to him and asksĀ āWell, what do you think?ā
And my dad just looks at her and saysĀ āYouāve been handling our finances for forty years.Ā I donāt give a fuck what he thinks.ā
Asshole stopped ignoring Mom after that.
No oneās even gonna call out that we got mansplained to about mansplaining?
Girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want lol
not to be dramatic but this mentality literally freed me
Being able to find someone you click with so naturally is the best feeling ever. You feel like youāve been best friends youāre whole life, it feels like youāre coming home. Youāre so comfortable with them. Maybe thatās what a soulmate is. Not someone who shares every single thing in common with you, but someone who feels like home.
me, as a kid: i canāt wait til iām an adult so i can stay up late EVERY NIGHT
me, as an adult, crawling into bed at 6:30 pm: oh thank god
my body, tearfully: when sleep???
me: my dude we just woke up!! Itās time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity
my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????
me: okay, finally now is sleep
my body: no. wrong.
like 98% of my problems would be solved if i stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky, anxious little shit