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[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[the-haiku-bot]

i would settle for

melatonin gummies but

well. knock yourself out

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[squirrel-stowaway]

happy “she throws it. I fire. it explodes. no structural damage! only damage to the creature. that’s how I see it going down” week by the way everyone

[crittaslink]

I gotta hand it to sandler that this scene is exactly what listening to that song feels like.

[nudesornaw]

if you’re having a bad day, here’s a cute little marching band

this actually made me cry with joy also one of them is eating noodles

[readsquirrel]

It just keeps going and getting better. *^^*

[involuntaryorange]

Me two minutes ago: “cry with joy? an animation of cats playing instruments made someone cry with joy?”

Me now: (sobs into a tissue) “OH MY GOD THAT ONE IS PLAYING TWO RECORDERS AT THE SAME TIME” (blows nose)

[son-of-a-tenth-place]

CAT PARADE IS BACK

[cricketcat9]

ALWAYS reblog Cat Parade! 💕💕💕

And one of them has a little duck on its head 🤣

[grogusmum]

I’ve been blessed with the kitty marching band! I love them 💚🥰

[oonajaeadira]

GIVE YOURSELF A 2 MINUTE PRESENT.

YOU DESERVE TO STOP AND EXPERIENCE A SIMPLE JOY.

[tawnyontumblr]

Never not reblogging the cat parade!

[darklordreasonable]

Mildly annoyed that this isn’t actually the full video, so here it is:

[darklordreasonable]

#i vaguely that there was a sequel to this that was HD

Apparently you correctly!

[the-haiku-bot]

#i vaguely

that there was a sequel to

this that was HD

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[hustlerose]

Out of Touch Thursday

[arbyscurlyfries666-deactivated2]

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

[snuv]

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

[rockmilkshake]

happy birthday.

[saltwatersweets]

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

[fagcrisis]

enough of your middle aged man blorbos whos your specialest middle aged woman. if anyone tags a woman under the age of 40 on this post ill kill you in real life

[changingthingslikeleaves]

[jkthinkythoughts]

I miss when The Expanse was on the air because 1) Chrisjen/Bobbi was a fantastic crackship and 2) Shohreh Aghdashloo was 1000% committed to delivering every line like a cat playing with a mouse.

[amberlin1]

When we were still in ministry in church the ladies and youth ministries ran vacation bible school for 2/3 weeks for july/august. One year, a child needed the bathroom as children do, and being under 6, we could take it for granted that they would need an Adult. Said adult was going to either be my mother (girls') or the pastor's grandson (boys').

But children that young are pretty androgenous, and sometimes a dress wouldn't cut it when games are a chunk of vbs.

My poor mother. She doesn't care for children but she does her best, and thinks about things that adults should. Like food allergies, which is important when we're providing snacks at the end of it.

She means well, when it comes to children. Just because she's annoyed with them all the time doesn't mean they don't deserve proper and appropriate care.

So she asks the child:

M: are you a boy or a girl?

C: a boy (????)

M: (????) ...You sure?

PGS: ?!

[amberlin1]

While I'm on the topic of social places being dismantled for no acceptable reason (to me), I work in public, dealing with the public, any time, any hour, any day. Before covid and lockdown there were places to sit. Water fountains. Bins. Post covid and lockdown the seating got reduced. The water fountains are just fixtures at this point. The bins still aren't there.

The Bins Still Aren't There.

[amberlin1]

[catlips001]

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

[battebitch-deactivated20200410]

what was yesterday, cat?

[catlips001]

[catlips001]

I’m not missing it this year.

[enron-intern-1998]

I scheduled this post 364 days ago and squinted at it at least once each day from then until now the day of anniversary when I share my experience with you, personally.

[p4nishers]

ill never and i mean NEVER get over the lilac as a metaphor for the watch. one of the first things vimes does in night watch is smell lilacs and remember. lilac went together with the song of the fallen. once a lilac tree is planned it will give rise to hundreds of other lilacs. a hundred members in the watch where there were only three a few years back. the good old days fading like lilac. the hold of the watch over the city growing weaker and weaker with each year after the revolution. remember the smell of lilac? you thought about those who died. lilac was common in the city. it was vigorous and hard to kill and had to be. there was nothing he could do about the big stuff. lilac was going to bloom.

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[onion-souls]

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

[onion-souls]

I made you a bibliography but I eated it :(

[strangestcase]

Good news! This story exists, it’s called The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[amberlin1]

Did my subject choices in form 3 foreshadow my gender identity later on? Highly doubt, but it is coincidental that i did half sciences/half languages and ended up genderflux

[manasaysay]

"I am the first person since the fall of the Shapers to return from the dead," she says into the mic.

The crowd cheers. She begins to walk off the stage in triumph, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room

"She's wrong."

Yanessa looks for the owner of the voice. There in the third row stands: Occtis Tachonis.