I don't know what to put here

But I think a lot of stuff

[yesornopolls]

Have you gone to your native country’s capital city? (At least one of them if your country has multiple)

Have you gone to your native country’s capital city? (At least one of them if your country has multiple)

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 6

[puppygirllaika]

Could you personally navigate a cross-country road trip, door to door, without your electronics (phone/computer/tablet/etc)?

Yes

No

Voting ended onMay 29

[puppygirllaika]

every other note on this post is someone going "am i allowed to use paper maps?" yes. obviously. i did not say "without a map", i said without your electronics. And to the like, 20% of people saying "of course, i would simply take the train" that is definitionally not a road trip. i love trains too, but that is a rail trip. a road trip requires taking a trip on the road.

[puppygirllaika]

#a train can go on the road if you believe hard enough

casey jones off the shits

[vexeria17]

It would be a lot slower as I would have to triple check to make sure I'm using the best route. But I can do it. Before I got my first GPS I was using an atlas and memory to make sure I was going the right way.

[ohnoitsthebat]

It's disappointing to see that Meredith Brooks hss gone full right-wing.

"Bitch" was a big part of my formative years and was also largely the reason why I began getting into feminism. It taught me that I could reclaim the word and use it as a positive thing.

Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised. She is a Gen Xer and a large chunk of them are Trumpers, so...

[fandom-hoarder]

Nooooooo wtf

Why does it seem like so many women in music from my teen years have gone rightwing 😭

[amoreanonyname]

I am also disappointed.

My theory re: Gen X and right-wing ideology is that Gen X and Gen Z have different definitions of social progressivism, especially around identity politics.

Gen X progressivism was that identity shouldn't matter. Everyone should have the same freedoms and opportunities and absence of hostility or harassment, as long as they weren't hurting others. Feminism and gay rights in the 80s and 90s was mainly about women and gay people living freely and having access to the same opportunities as anyone else.

Gen Z progressivism, on the other hand, is heavy on identity politics, on privilege and intersectionality and accommodation and inclusion. Gen Z has surmised that equality was maybe a good start, but it's not the same as equity - that historically disadvantaged people may well need accommodations that others do not, and that people should work to be actively inclusive instead of taking a more passive "live and let live" view.

The idea of treating people differently based on race or gender or sexuality is anathema to more than a few Gen X progressives, who themselves fought for the very opposite when they were younger. And ofc right-wing propaganda plays on this further by mocking and caricaturizing leftist identity politics and convincing people that blue-haired terrorists will burn your house down if you don't hand out tampons to pre-transition trans women.

[crimsonsoulpower]

Thinking about how Ruben and Niall represent two types of misogyny. Ruben the more "old school" type for lack of a better term. Physically violent but also the type that thinks a man as a husband should provide for his wife, should be able to biologically sire kids, the type to not "let" wives/girlfriends go out there and do work.

Niall is more like current generation, one of those "nice guys" if you will. The type that may not physically hurt women around him and thus think himself superior and better than the men who does but absolutely would inflict mental/psychological abuse on you and on top of that, holds no motivations to ever be a provider as someone like Ruben might have. The type that isn't helping you do the chores, but would deliberately seek out financially well off women so they can take said money. The type that feels emasculated by financially/physically bigger men and cannot do anything about them so they go around wrecking havoc on women in their lives.

No matter who you're dealing with, women are always suffering as a result.

Two sides of same rancid, rotten patriarchal coin.

[amoreanonyname]

With Niall it's an interesting take, given his gayness and how homosocial the manosphere is known to be. Niall being gay just reinforces all that toxic culture where he's really focused on men, performing correct masculinity (by the standards of other men), loving or serving or screwing or impressing or betraying or hurting other men. What's brutal about how Niall treats the women around him isn't that he's intentionally cruel or secretly hates them or believes them to be inferior or less capable - he just doesn't care about women, apart from what they can do for him. Because he's entirely focused on men (Ruben) and trying to be the "correct" kind of man - which requires a woman.

I've seen some fans complain that the women in this show so far have seemed rather diminished - they're girlfriends or wives or mothers, but pretty well nothing else. I increasingly suspect that's intentional, because we're seeing the world through Niall's eyes, and Niall understands intellectually that women can be more than that, but doesn't especially care because that's not his problem or his struggle. Joanna, Mona, Ava, are women who hint at their own wants and needs and struggles and desires, but Niall mainly cares about them either in relation to Ruben, or in relation to propping up his own comically flimsy image of heterosexuality. If a woman isn't useful for either of those purposes, she just doesn't really matter.

That's the true nature of modern misogyny: that the only way to properly project masculinity is to be with one (or more) women, reducing women to essential props to stave off ego death instead of partners (then increasingly lashing out at women who refuse to participate in the performance, because the pesky free will of women prevents these men from feeling like men). With Niall, it's a degree beyond that because he's not even attracted to women - they're solely props and tools to him, and he can't bring himself to care beyond that.

[amoreanonyname]

Something about Ruben and Niall appearing to switch trajectories as they got older, but not really.

Niall, who as a teenager and young man seemed to have a promising future ahead of him. Smart and diligent and willing to do the work. Sure, he was also timid and anxious, and bullied and friendless, and definitely needed to get away from Ruben. But once he was on his uni track, he seemed to be going places. Once he got his Oxford acceptance, he was all but guaranteed success.

Skip ahead fourteen years, and Niall is a complete hot mess, a trainwreck in every aspect of his life. But if we look back - maybe that self-sabotaging streak has always been there? Maybe the guy who can't get his life together in 2008 is the same guy who wrote Ruben's exam for him in 1985 (when no one was aware he had that opportunity and he easily could have not done it), and called Ruben to him after a single night apart in 1989 because he couldn't cope with his anxiety, and the same guy who led Joanna on in 1993 because even away from his family and with zero direct pushback, he still felt compelled to perform straightness.

Then there's Ruben, the absolute trainwreck in his own youth who looks like he finally came out clean on the other side. He spent his incarceration reading, and possibly even got a crumb of therapy. He initially comes across as adjusted, articulate, accountable, successful. He's in a seemingly-happy relationship. He has a good career and plenty of money. He's apologized to everyone (but Niall) for his past wrongdoings. He takes care of his sick mother.

But Ruben isn't reformed - just contained. Just a better performance than he used to have. Under provocation, he immediately explodes violently all over Niall, then promptly falls back into their codependent dysfunction, then offers to explode violently all over others on Niall's behalf. He's still the same semi-feral, hair-sniffing, SAing Ruben, he can just behave better in public now.

Neither has changed - only the performance. After a decade in prison, Ruben's performance improved. He could more convincingly play the part of a well-adjusted member of society. Niall's performance deteriorated, he could no longer pretend to be functional when Ruben wasn't there to be dysfunctional on his behalf. Ruben learned to wear a a mask. Niall's mask fell off. But from 1985 to 2008 and beyond, they're both still the same people they always were.

[amoreanonyname]

Hi, so I was a young adult in 2008, and was not gay but knew several gay people, and there are some interesting things going on with Niall in this latest episode of Half Man that might not be apparent to viewers who don't remember that era:

First, the way Niall dresses and styles himself in this episode. It's not just a peak-2008 dated emo look - it was a very young look at the time. Guys in their teens and early 20s wore their hair like that. In 2026 we're slowly getting away from "dress your age" ideas, but in 2008, Niall would have looked goofy as hell. He was in his late 30s dressing like a teenager or young adult, and it would have been cringey.

Second, the fact that he's skulking around cottaging in public bathrooms and back alleys is... dated, for the time. I'm not going to say cottaging no longer existed in 2008, but like. Gay marriage was already legal where I lived by then (though not so in the UK). Any decent-sized city had gay bars and bookstores, bigger cities had bathhouses, gay dating sites were already emerging, there were gay communities, there were Pride parades. Obviously there were still taboos (as there are even now), but Niall so didn't have to be doing any of that. This wasn't his only way to meet men. Niall cottaging isn't about him having to furtively sneak around the bigotry of the era - it's specifically about him refusing to accept his own sexuality to the point that walking into a gay bar and talking to a gay man would have been unthinkable for him - let alone creating a profile on a dating site indicating that he wanted to meet men.

Both these points provide subtextual support to Niall's overall issue in this episode: he's stuck in the past. He's stuck at that court session in his early 20s. He's acting like a closeted gay man from the early 90s. He never moved on, he never grew up, he's nearing 40 in this episode and he's acting like a shiftless graduate taking a gap year. His career barely exists, he's borrowing money from his mother or only friend, he's lurching from crisis to crisis, he's living in a self-imposed prison in terms of relationships and sexuality, and he's blaming everything bad in his life on past traumas that are valid and significant - but also over a decade ago, with little evidence of any progress despite inpatient mental health treatment and therapy. Lori is awful in so many ways, but she was right when she called him out in their last argument - it was well past time for him to take responsibility for his life regardless of the past.

He'll have to take quite a leap forward by the next episode to even be able to get into a relationship with Alby. I'm intrigued to see a more mature version of the character.

[amoreanonyname]

Predictions for the back half of Half Man, starting roughly at the end of episode 3 but in no particular order. Based partially on the trailer and other spoilers, so Spoilers Ahoy!

- I don't think Niall gets involved with Alby anytime soon after the trial. Just as it would have been outlandish for Alby to want to date Niall after getting beaten up by his brother, Niall at the end of episode 3 feels devastated and guilty and feels like he betrayed the person who mattered most to him. I don't think he really did all that "for" Alby - rather his own sense of principle, his knowledge that Alby was innocent, his own sense of guilt, and his unwillingness to label another gay person as a "sexual deviant" - but I think interacting with Alby would be VERY painful for him for quite some time after that.

- I think Niall spends a lot of time on his own while Ruben's in jail, and between his guilt and just plain missing Ruben, he gets weird and obsessive about him, eventually culminating in writing a book about the two of them.

- Ruben, either still in prison or just out, finds out about this book and starts to soften towards Niall again, because Ruben is fucked up enough that he can probably forgive the prison thing as long as he knows he's still "running through Niall's brain." He knows Niall wants him and that's enough.

- Ruben gets out of prison, Niall continues to be weird and obsessive and tries to track or stalk Ruben, leading to a car accident, and then the hospital scene where Ruben shows up and they reconcile.

- They have some kind of conversation about Niall's sexuality, and some kind of acknowledgement of their mutual attraction. Present-day Ruben in the first episode makes some very sexually charged comments and gestures towards Niall, none of which seem to surprise him. That's all happened before. I don't think they actually sleep together, but I think something happens between them. It's possible Ruben actually gay-panics at that point and leaves. Or something else happens that drives them apart again.

- Somewhere in here, Niall reconnects with Alby, perhaps at Joanna's wedding since she's presumably friends with both of them. Now many years out from previous events, and with Niall presumably estranged from Ruben, they're finally stable enough to develop a relationship.

- Ruben gets involved with Mona again. I don't think the child we see him with is biologically his, because nothing about his past or present character indicates someone capable of holding a relationship together that long. I suspect she's a single mother, and she and her child represent a normal life and fresh start for Ruben. I don't think he's with her very long in the scheme of things, but...

- I think that's when Maura dies, and they're serious enough to go to her funeral together, where Niall (attending without Alby because he knows Ruben will be there) sees them, promptly loses his ever-loving shit, and looks for a way to ruin it, because Ruben isn't allowed to move on from him.

- I suspect Mona will be aware of Ruben's prison stint, but that Ruben will tell her a very edited and sanitized version of events tilted in his favour. I suspect Niall will somehow let her in on the truth of those events and send her running for the hills with her kid.

- THIS is what has Ruben so pissed off and looking for revenge in the present day. An eye for an eye, Niall ruined Ruben's chance at happiness and normalcy, now it's Ruben's turn to "return the favour."

- As dark as this series is, my final hot take is that they don't end with a murder-suicide. I think the cops in the trailer are a red herring. I have no idea what they'll do, and I'm sure crimes will be committed that will justify those cops, but damn, I feel like the Together in Death thing is just too bleak. I think something else happens.

[amoreanonyname]

So this is why I don't make predictions lmao. Three right, a couple more semi-right, and some big ones dead wrong 🫠. And I suppose a couple could still pan out in the fifth episode.

[junglejim4322]

This person wrote a manifesto I ain’t reading all that but this is literally the type of behavior im talking about the idea hobbies all cost money is so removed from reality if you have the time to pick up your phone and write 7 paragraphs on how im victimizing you with my offhanded post you have the time to watch a movie on YouTube with your very same phone instead come on now. How is you freaking out on the internet helping any of these issues

[turbozarky]

things that dont cost money: hiking, walking, birdwatching, identifying plants, drawing (you have a pen, reading (library), collecting rocks, dancing, singing.... etc wtc etc

if you cant find a hobby you can afford, thats a you problem. and if youre posting online, you have a device to do that, get some free games, trawl wikipedia, study something. stop picking fights online and do something else.

[theonceandfutureharpy]

[chocolatepot]

If you can write a long-ass tumblr post, you can write a fic.

[amoreanonyname]

Heyo, so I kept wondering what the deal was with Jamie Bell in Half Man, because I'm the same age he is and I know I'm a swamp witch, but I kept thinking he was pretty rough-looking for 40.

To be clear - there's no problem with getting older and looking your age. But Niall Kennedy looks substantially older than his age.

As a matter of fact, this is what Jamie Bell looks like in 2026:

Here he is as Niall Kennedy in Half Man:

So he's definitely been aged up for the show and made to look older and more frail than the actor is IRL, and I'm curious about that? I know Niall Kennedy is supposed to be in his mid-40s on his wedding day, but he still looks at least 10 years older than that. He also seems tired and fragile beyond his years.

It's also not a creative decision across the board, as Alby, Ruben, and other characters near the same age actually look their age (i.e. not necessarily youthful, but younger-looking than Niall).

I'm curious if we're going to see any onscreen reason for ageing him like this. Is it a health issue? Did the accumulated stress in his life age him prematurely? Or is it just meant to be a greater contrast with Ruben's strength?

[amoreanonyname]

Predictions for the back half of Half Man, starting roughly at the end of episode 3 but in no particular order. Based partially on the trailer and other spoilers, so Spoilers Ahoy!

- I don't think Niall gets involved with Alby anytime soon after the trial. Just as it would have been outlandish for Alby to want to date Niall after getting beaten up by his brother, Niall at the end of episode 3 feels devastated and guilty and feels like he betrayed the person who mattered most to him. I don't think he really did all that "for" Alby - rather his own sense of principle, his knowledge that Alby was innocent, his own sense of guilt, and his unwillingness to label another gay person as a "sexual deviant" - but I think interacting with Alby would be VERY painful for him for quite some time after that.

- I think Niall spends a lot of time on his own while Ruben's in jail, and between his guilt and just plain missing Ruben, he gets weird and obsessive about him, eventually culminating in writing a book about the two of them.

- Ruben, either still in prison or just out, finds out about this book and starts to soften towards Niall again, because Ruben is fucked up enough that he can probably forgive the prison thing as long as he knows he's still "running through Niall's brain." He knows Niall wants him and that's enough.

- Ruben gets out of prison, Niall continues to be weird and obsessive and tries to track or stalk Ruben, leading to a car accident, and then the hospital scene where Ruben shows up and they reconcile.

- They have some kind of conversation about Niall's sexuality, and some kind of acknowledgement of their mutual attraction. Present-day Ruben in the first episode makes some very sexually charged comments and gestures towards Niall, none of which seem to surprise him. That's all happened before. I don't think they actually sleep together, but I think something happens between them. It's possible Ruben actually gay-panics at that point and leaves. Or something else happens that drives them apart again.

- Somewhere in here, Niall reconnects with Alby, perhaps at Joanna's wedding since she's presumably friends with both of them. Now many years out from previous events, and with Niall presumably estranged from Ruben, they're finally stable enough to develop a relationship.

- Ruben gets involved with Mona again. I don't think the child we see him with is biologically his, because nothing about his past or present character indicates someone capable of holding a relationship together that long. I suspect she's a single mother, and she and her child represent a normal life and fresh start for Ruben. I don't think he's with her very long in the scheme of things, but...

- I think that's when Maura dies, and they're serious enough to go to her funeral together, where Niall (attending without Alby because he knows Ruben will be there) sees them, promptly loses his ever-loving shit, and looks for a way to ruin it, because Ruben isn't allowed to move on from him.

- I suspect Mona will be aware of Ruben's prison stint, but that Ruben will tell her a very edited and sanitized version of events tilted in his favour. I suspect Niall will somehow let her in on the truth of those events and send her running for the hills with her kid.

- THIS is what has Ruben so pissed off and looking for revenge in the present day. An eye for an eye, Niall ruined Ruben's chance at happiness and normalcy, now it's Ruben's turn to "return the favour."

- As dark as this series is, my final hot take is that they don't end with a murder-suicide. I think the cops in the trailer are a red herring. I have no idea what they'll do, and I'm sure crimes will be committed that will justify those cops, but damn, I feel like the Together in Death thing is just too bleak. I think something else happens.

[thisautistic]

just normal step-brother things!

[amoreanonyname]

There's something about Niall and his visible affection for Ruben throughout this episode. He winds up "betraying" him, and he's conflicted about it all episode. But in every scene where they're affectionate with each other, Niall's literally leaning in, he's curling into Ruben, he's clinging back, he's drinking it in. Here, where he's hugging back so tightly you can see his arms tensed. In the community centre when Ruben slips an arm over his shoulders and Niall physically leans into him. The head touch in the field where again, we see Niall leaning into the touch (and looking ready to cry). Whereas in previous episodes, he seemed to be mostly freaked out by Ruben's grabbiness, with occasional reciprocal moments, in this episode it's all reciprocal. Right before he blows them up.

(Also something something, all this easy touching and intimacy with Ruben, vs the very scant affection he seems to have with Lori, and the fact that he and Alby barely touch on their Actual Wedding Day, is a whole nother thing...)

[plumedpenn]

one aspect of Ruben's attack on Alby that i think is really interesting is Niall's pretty significant part in setting it up. And how this is really reflective of everyone sort talking past each other in pursuit of executing their own performances.

and just to clarify going in: none of this means i think Niall set it up intentionally, i don't think Ruben is simply being a good bro, and none of this justifies the attack itself.

so i do think Ruben had a much different motive than what I've mostly seen ascribed to homophobic/jealous reactivity at the implication of Niall's romantic connection to Alby and to their enmeshment (the "you think that's better?" line). but i actually don't think homophobia/jealousy truly entered into the equation all that much in this instant, and i don't really think he picked up on it in a particularly noteworthy way here. it's present and underpinning the whole show, of course, but here i think it distracts from what was going through Ruben's mind in this moment which i think goes back to that first phone call.

remember that Niall calls him in tears, implies that some guy named Alby was responsible, and that Niall needed him to come visit? now, having watched what actually happened, we the audience know that Niall is ashamed, not victimized. he drank too much and peed himself in front of someone he perceived as superior and admirable (and desirable), and from whom he wanted approval and acceptance, and as far as he knew, also in front of the girls whose approval and acceptance he also wanted. add to this shame Alby's note--which imo was objectively fine but, read by someone in a highly reactive, highly sensitive to rejection state of mind, can be interpreted as a bit too mocking and crushing any chance of being liked by (or desired in turn by) this guy he likes. so we see Niall physically panic and break down, hence the emergency 'i need you' phone call to Ruben.

But. BUT. at no point do we see Niall explain any of this to Ruben. Ruben has no idea Alby simply took care of Niall when he got sloppy drunk, he has no idea Niall was calling him in shame, and not as the result of being bullied by some kid named Alby. just like Niall was bullied in high school. just like the bullying Ruben stepped in and stopped at Niall's behest. because Niall never clarified the call, Ruben arrives primed to see Alby as a threat to Niall and primed to be Niall's protector--which by his definition of protector, means he's primed for violence. you see this mentality at his cold greeting and posturing to Alby--that's not simply jealousy of another man being in Niall's life--and you see it as one of the first things he does with Niall. this is to spar with him out front, refreshing his self-defense skills and also trying to present Niall, himself, as someone not worth the risk of bullying--the sparring is a performance, and one meant to establish Niall's masculinity as much as his own, but, importantly, not above his own, and absolutely not without his permission.

so this continues on in various ways--drugs, womanizing, squaring up to strangers, generally being a dick to Alby--when this all comes to a head.

Niall convinces Ruben to apologize--something that, in the realm of toxic masculinity, means some level of submission on Ruben's part--and he does this without ever having truly clarified about that phone call, and without coming out to him (which, side note, i thought was a perfectly valid decision), thereby re-contextualizing Niall's evident spike in distress ever since. Ruben goes into this conversation with Alby, in Ruben's eyes, completely overreacting and making a big deal out his apology (his submission) all while Niall is increasingly, visibly panicked and scared. and then Niall's reactivity turns towards Alby--you know, Alby the 'bully'--and Niall (lightly, but significantly for him) physically assaults Alby to stop him from saying something out of evident fear, which results in Alby pushing Niall away, inadvertently injuring Niall in the process (Alby wanted him away, not hurt). and then Ruben, of course, completely loses it and viciously attacks Alby, not just in excess to what was actually going on, but in excess of what he incorrectly believed was going on. what he was led to believe was going on due to Niall's intentional and unintentional framing of his and Alby's dynamic.

and this is just another continuation of the episode's theme of all of these characters talking past one another, carrying out their performances of who they want to be, of the lives they want to live, either ignoring or not knowing who they actually are. all five of them view themselves as the main characters of narratives that don't reflect reality.

Ruben is playing the bodyguard role and the 'love em and leave em' charming rake. except, no, he very much isn't because Niall doesn't actually need a protector in this situation and no, he's not charming, he's just a misogynistic asshole.

meanwhile, Celeste thinks she's starring in a story about sexual awakening and being the one woman sex guru for a sweet innocent repressed virgin 'porridge man' who just needs to follow her lead to reach self-realization and happiness. She has the power to improve and transform the people around her, she is the cool one, the confident one, the hot one. But this is very much not the case. She has no power, sexual or otherwise, over Niall, she doesn't even have it over Ruben. none of them even really see her as cool except for Niall, who mostly has eyes for Alby and Ruben. yes he wants her approval, but not because he sees her, only because he sees her front and wants to meet it with his own and be perceived as straight. it has nothing to do with her specifically.

and then you have Joanna, who thinks she's in a friends style sitcom where she and all her flatmates are going to automatically be a nice neat little family. which is just an entirely unrealistic expectation to have and unreasonable standard to hold people to. she thinks that Celeste, this woman she literally just met, is already her girl bestie whose loyalty she can rely on. but this isn't true in the slightest, Celeste immediately makes out with Ruben despite his and Joanna's quickly established 'thing' and doesn't hesitate to continue even when Joanna is overtly prompting them to stop doing it in front of her. Celeste even tells Ruben and Niall that Joanna was off peeing in a bush despite that information being completely unnecessary for them to know and despite it being something that Joanna would clearly not want them to know. and these girl code BFFs don't have their cute boy and his bad boy brother built in BFs either, with Niall being unresponsive and quick to abandon them both for Alby and with Ruben being a womanizing dick by flip-flopping between them and literally spitting in her face. even Alby isn't interested in being the fun GBF, either, nor is he particularly prone to participating in their friends group in general with his tendency to more hang out on the sidelines and around Niall.

and Alby. oh Alby. Alby thinks he's in a narrative about drawing out poor Niall from the closet, about showing this endearing guy what being out and proud can really mean for your confidence and sense of self. about how being true to yourself doesn't just mean being out, it means leaving those who look down on you for it behind and freeing yourself from the hold they have on you. about how it gives you a strength to withstand and overcome the hatred, even when that hatred is expressed physically. but this isn't the the whole story. no, Niall isn't ready to come out of the closet, and no, your confidence and self love isn't always going to protect you. he isn't even the benevolent guide and inspiration he wants to be as, instead of abandoning this role and pulling back to fit his own boundaries when Niall is unwilling to participate at his desired pacing, Alby opts for trampling Niall's boundaries and attempts to out him to his violent, unpredictable brother. despite him only knowing these people for a matter of days, despite that never being his choice to make or his risk to take. it is a truly horrible thing for him to do, or rather, attempt to do (but he still didn't deserve to be attacked like that)

Niall, for his part, is frantically trying on all these different narratives himself, desperate to find a niche for himself that will fit in. is he a late bloomer coaxed out by Celeste? is he the straight nice guy friend in Joanna's sitcom? is he the gay guy who's about to walk out of that closet and have everything be okay with his super hot considerate BF? he doesn't know, only that he definitely has a role as Ruben's brother, no matter how fucked up that role may be. so he uses that role to hit the eject button on the other narratives whenever they become stressful or inconvenient, no matter how he jerks around the others' emotions and investments in him.

and note that every single one of them EXCEPT FOR ALBY abandons the story lines they were trying to make happen: Celeste ditches her sexual awakening guide narrative with Niall pretty quickly and opts for fun with Ruben, Joanna has enough of their bullshit and kicks them out dead-voiced, friends sitcom be damned, and Ruben ends his 'protector' story by physically injuring Niall and overtly threatening him via finger guns as he's shoved into the police car. Niall bails on all his narrative attempts, and he even loses/abandons his ever-present, ever-reliable role as Ruben's brother from another lover by the end.

in an interesting way, Alby's and Celeste's attempted narratives are very similar--the roles they see themselves taking in Niall's life--it's just that Alby has more care and insight into Niall as a person than as an npc, and this makes him far more invested in the outcome of his story. this encourages him to stick with it even when he should so clearly abandon it for all of their sakes. Celeste bounces from hers early -- Niall is giving her nothing and she's not particularly attached to her narrative role -- and is the only one to avoid being too hurt by anything that happens. in contrast, the others stick with theirs too long, too hard, too much and end up varying degrees of hurt. Joanna more than Celeste, Ruben and Niall more than Joanna, and Alby most of all.

[amoreanonyname]

This is such a good analysis, and also a good reminder of Niall's (unintentional) role in Alby's assault. I have seen a few people referencing Niall lying as part of the reason that happened, priming Ruben to see Alby as a threat when he wasn't - which of course doesn't detract from the fact that Ruben very much did what he did, and seems to be consistently trying to dodge responsibility for that.

To add onto this, your post makes me realize how interesting it was that Niall felt the need to lie at all. Alby wasn't bullying or threatening him, Niall was just feeling anxious and insecure and wanted his batshit crazy Ruben-shaped security blanket.

The implication is that Ruben would not have come out there if Niall was just feeling anxious or insecure or missing him. Ruben initially seems to actually try to reassure Niall - dude, you're getting paid to sit on your ass at school for four years, how bad can it be? He only starts to talk about going out there himself when Niall indicates that Alby is some kind of physical threat to him. And he only talks about staying there/that Niall should have brought him in the first place, after he gets there.

Which... on the one hand, there probably is some fucked up truth to the idea that it wasn't "acceptable" to either of them for Ruben to visit just to visit, just because Niall missed him or wanted to see him (the arguably more honest reason he tells Alby). Ruben will drive all night if Niall says he needs him, but Niall needs to need him for something. Not just need to see him. The visit needs a purpose. Protecting Niall! That's easy and a pretty well guaranteed way to get Ruben running to him.

But also, the implication that Ruben Would Not Have otherwise. He started off just offering Niall some encouragement. But the idea that Ruben was prepared to be semi-healthy about their separation and let Niall live his life and see him at Christmas or whenever, and not come running at the first moment of anxiety, only for Niall to be the one to actually make up a lie in order to SLAM the "violent codependency" button to immediately stitch them back together, is... something.

Obviously the entire thing is abusive and I have no intention of downplaying that. Ruben is violent and abusive and responsible for his own actions, and none of what he did is Niall's fault. But I think a lot of viewers are not entirely catching onto role Niall was playing in their dysfunction even then. And that throughout that week and apparently years later, he never acknowledges that lie either.

[lesbianshepard]

Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.

[lesbianshepard]

If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump

[bunjywunjy]

this? you want to walk down this????

please say sike

[bunjywunjy]

IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP

[hapalopus]

footpath

[bunjywunjy]

that is grass. just like ur ass, if you try to walk this thing

[phantomomo]

Image me gently taking your hand as I tell you the following:

This is ABSOLUTELY a perfectly fine footpath.

In fact, with how much space I’m seeing here, it is entirely plausible, that the European hordes will just create a temporary little Wanderweg right next to the highway. With that much space they might not even have to interfere with traffic.

But also have you seen the space between your highways? I‘d say the gaps each easily fit another whole stream of European walking hordes. Or maybe even two going opposite directions :D

[bunjywunjy]

tightly grips your hand with both of my sweaty hands.

the grass is not a permanent feature. there just happens to be a chunk of it there. the side of the road can vary from grass to swampwater ditches to steep embankments to absolutely nothing within a very short distance.

they will call in every highway enforcer in the state and mass incarcerate the lot of you before they allow you to Darwin Award yourselves across 6 lanes of traffic into an international incident or, (their real concern) impede the progress of the single most important north-south interstate corridor in america, ball kicky game be damned.

(I'm starting to believe that a fair number of you in the notes have We're Better Than Stupid Americans embedded so deeply into your cultural identity that you will Just Not Listen to anything we say to you about the material circumstances about the place we live in, rather than taking us at our word that there is a reason that most Americans travel the way we do and it's a good reason.)

[library-seraph]

"Jaywalking is not a thing in Europe" may I suggest this is less about the laws of America and more about the laws of inertia

[wanderingthunderstorm]

Trolley problem:

You are a US American motorist driving along i-95 during rush hour. You see a pedestrian dart in front of you. You have 2 seconds to make a decision:

Attempt to stop (cause multi-car pile up and kill pedestrian anyway)

Attempt to swerve #1 (cause semi truck next to you to jackknife, cause pileup, kill pedestrian anyway)

Attempt to swerve #2 (into ditch/swamp/retaining wall, 85 mph/137 km per hour, killing yourself, your passengers, and a bunch of other people on the road when your car inevitably sends pieces shooting off into traffic. Also, the pedestrian gets run over by the person behind you, who was NOT expecting a pedestrian and didn't even see them)

Run over the pedestrian and hope you can at least stay in your lane and not cause a worse accident while you slow down

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Okay so this has been a fun thing to watch unfold over the last week and I guess it’s finally reached here. Just like a game of telephone the argument no longer resembles the origin. There was a Reddit thread about it and tbf a lot of the Europeans on there were very confused as to why anyone thought they were going to walk it. Where had all this come from? Who was actually saying this?

So, Reddit being Reddit, had already tracked down the origins. Turns out there were some disgruntled Europeans that were unhappy with the fact that the train operator was price gouging the tickets that were usually $12 so that they were $150+ to get from the hotel to the MetLife stadium. Roughly 900m away (through a swamp). The European complaining was like “it’s 900m I’d rather fucking walk it”. Not that he was going to walk it, just that he was pissed off at the price enough that he’d jokingly consider it.

In swoops a blue check mark rw dude who, like the above, took him literally and explained swamps and how roads work in a very condescending manner (not like the above). The European response was so clearly sarcasm (paraphrasing: “I’m strong! I can make it across a swamp! I’m not paying $150 dollars for a 15 minute train ride”) but it went over the blue check mark guy’s head.

So he doubles down, insisting that they’ll all get run over on the I-95 and Europeans are arrogant and stupid. So what did the original guy do? After a bit of back and forth about terrible infrastructure he starts Smooth Sharking the blue check mark guy! No it’s totally fine! I’ve crossed big roads before! Swamps are nothing! Blue check guy does not recognise the sarcasm or the obvious rage bait so doubles down again.

By this time, it’s got enough traction that more Europeans show up to rage bait this one guy with stuff like “nah the whole Dutch fan walk is gonna walk alongside the I-95!” “You can’t do that you’ll get killed by trucks!” “It’s fine they can’t kill us all there are too many! Some will make it to the match!”

Of course it make blue check mark guy very angry and he started ranting about Europeans being arrogant enough to walk. He was also equating it with them not helping with that Special Operation Tango Toddler has going on, which like okay dude. But others only saw his rants about it and that began to spread. Once it reached TikTok and folks were making videos accusing Europeans of white supremacy (yes that is a thing that happened) it genuinely spun out of control to what we’re seeing now.

I don’t doubt some idiot Europeans have indeed tried to justify doing this, there’s one on this post (along with one person clearly smooth sharking. Like c’mon, circling grass and writing “path” is not a serious response, it’s rage bait) but the idea that “European football fans think they can walk this” isn’t real. No one has earnestly being saying they’ll do it. More people have been shocked by the dominance of car led infrastructure than have thought “yeah I can cross an 8 lane interstate highway.”

Tl;dr: This is manufactured outrage based on one guy getting smooth sharked because some other guy thought a $12 ticket suddenly being $150 was a bit fucking much for such a short journey and he’d rather walk than pay that.

Can we all chill out now?

[pardonmystardust]

[lesbianshepard]

Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.

[lesbianshepard]

If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump

[bunjywunjy]

this? you want to walk down this????

please say sike

[bunjywunjy]

IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP

[hapalopus]

footpath

[bunjywunjy]

that is grass. just like ur ass, if you try to walk this thing

[phantomomo]

Image me gently taking your hand as I tell you the following:

This is ABSOLUTELY a perfectly fine footpath.

In fact, with how much space I’m seeing here, it is entirely plausible, that the European hordes will just create a temporary little Wanderweg right next to the highway. With that much space they might not even have to interfere with traffic.

But also have you seen the space between your highways? I‘d say the gaps each easily fit another whole stream of European walking hordes. Or maybe even two going opposite directions :D

[bunjywunjy]

tightly grips your hand with both of my sweaty hands.

the grass is not a permanent feature. there just happens to be a chunk of it there. the side of the road can vary from grass to swampwater ditches to steep embankments to absolutely nothing within a very short distance.

they will call in every highway enforcer in the state and mass incarcerate the lot of you before they allow you to Darwin Award yourselves across 6 lanes of traffic into an international incident or, (their real concern) impede the progress of the single most important north-south interstate corridor in america, ball kicky game be damned.

(I'm starting to believe that a fair number of you in the notes have We're Better Than Stupid Americans embedded so deeply into your cultural identity that you will Just Not Listen to anything we say to you about the material circumstances about the place we live in, rather than taking us at our word that there is a reason that most Americans travel the way we do and it's a good reason.)

[thememedaddy]

[yesornopolls]

USAmericans and Canadians: can you confidently draw your state/province flag from memory?

USAmericans and Canadians: can you confidently draw your state/province flag from memory?

Yes

No

See results

Voting ended onApr 26

[perlukafarinn]

Crack canon divergent AU where the Montreal Metros become super queer friendly sometime around 2015. I'm picturing one of the players having a brother who gets engaged to a man and only finding out about his sexuality then. When he asks his brother about it, the brother tells him he wasn't sure he'd take it well what with being a hockey player and using slurs and all.

This unnamed player - let's call him Fred, just because - is devastated. He used to be so close to his brother when they were young and now he's finding out this is what's been driving a wedge between them for all these years and he can't even be angry about it because his brother was right to be careful.

Fred brings this up to the other Metros and most of them give a halfhearted "that sucks dude" but he digs his heels in and says no, this needs to change, some of you probably also have gay relatives or friends who do not trust you. "In fact," Fred says, "I looked it up and something like 1 in 10 people are gay so there's probably a gay guy or two on this team and he or they don't feel safe to come out!"

And the others immediately protest, like gay guys don't play hockey don't be stupid!! And if they did, what the fuck, why wouldn't he tell us, he's probably watching us in the showers!! And Fred goes this is why he wouldn't tell us.

(Shane's listening to all of this quietly disassociating, wishing he were anywhere else.)

Anyway there's a lot of arguing and stupid comments, but eventually most of them concede that yeah if there's a gay guy on the team, he's got good reasons not to come out and maybe we should make this a more comfortable space because that kind of stress can't be good for our hypothetically gay teammate's playing.

(Shane's playing is fine, thank you very fucking much.)

It takes a few weeks but with Fred pushing and a few more open-minded and well meaning Metros joining in, the team culture starts to slowly change. One of them tells his majoring-in-gender-studies girlfriend about the effort and she super excitedly puts together a beginner friendly power point presentation to introduce them to some queer history and lingo.

Then someone has the bright idea to do "gay activities" once a month together, like watching Brokeback Mountain and going to drag brunch and of course, eventually, inevitably, a gay bar.

Shane gets himself out of every single event because sitting around with his straight teammates doing gay shit sounds like a fucking nightmare like he just wants to play hockey and suck cock, not have to learn about whatever the hell tucking is.

His teammates notice Shane's reluctance to join and it comes to a head while they're in Boston and want to hit a gay bar after a game for their monthly mandatory gay outing because of fucking course they do. Shane refuses to join and one of the Metros goes "Well maybe our gay teammate hasn't come out yet because he knows his Captain won't support him??" So now Shane has to go or he is officially labeled a homophobe.

He lets Ilya know he can't come over to fuck because he has to go to a gay bar with his team. And Ilya, who has heard about the Metros' gay initiative and thinks it's hilarious how annoyed Shane is with the whole thing, suggests to the Raiders that they join the Metros to show that they're gay friendly too and his teammates are a little weirded out but ultimately surprisingly cool with it.

Of course Shane is pissed once Ilya shows up with his buddies looking so self-satisfied and smug and gorgeous, and this is Shane's one chance to get fucked for the next two months and instead he has to spend the evening watching Drapeau and Olsson do unicorn shots??

He gets up to leave and his teammates start protesting like "come on man, you promised you'd be cool" and "wow you're actually a homophobe, aren't you? smh we thought you were better". And Ilya and the other Raiders are watching the whole thing go down and Shane fucking snaps.

"You all talk a big game but would you actually be okay with a gay guy in the locker room?"

And his teammates are outraged like yes obviously!!

"A guy who gets fucked other guys? Could you look at him and know he's sucked cock and still respect him the same as your straight teammates?"

And maybe this question would have made the Metros uncomfortable earlier in the year but they are enlightened now and offended that Shane would even ask! Honestly, you're looking more and more homophobic dude (Hayden is on the verge of tears).

"Okay, what if he was hooking up with a player on another team? 'Cause that would never be an issue with a straight player."

And the Metros would have to take a moment to think because yeah, that's a possibility they hadn't considered. But! one of them points out, guys play against their brothers and friends all the time, and no one has an issue with that. If a gay player had to play against his lover (Shane's eye twitches dangerously), he wouldn't let that affect his game any more than straight players do playing against their loved ones.

In fact, there's something kinda romantic about it now that they think about it. Like Romeo and Juliet with hockey!

Now Shane glances at Ilya, who no longer looks amused.

"So you guys really are fine with all of that?"

The Metros agree enthusiastically, fired up and proud at what good allies they're being.

"Okay. Well. I'm gay, and I've been hooking up with a player on another team since rookie year."

The group falls silent. Shane stares them down, silently freaking out, because did he just annoyed into coming out??

"Who?" one of the Metros finally asks. Another elbows him.

"Dude, you can't ask that."

"But you don't like any gay stuff!" another Metro protests.

"I like sucking cock," Shane deadpans. "Is that gay enough for you?"

And fair enough, the Metros have to admit, that is pretty gay.

No one stops Shane when he tries to leave this time, though Hayden does chase him outside to tell him how proud he is of him, and Shane just gives a flat okay and jumps into the nearest taxi.

(And if none of the Metros or Raiders notice Ilya disappear pretty quickly after that, well, they're not the smartest.)

[perlukafarinn]

The Metros can not stop wondering about Shane's secret gay lover.

Analyzing the data gives them zero hints about what team he's on which on the one hand, good, that means it doesn't affect Shane's game, but it also bad, because it makes it so much more difficult for them to speculate.

They make a list of suspects and sure, speculating on a stranger's sexuality isn't very good allyship, but also have you considered that they're curious?? Besides, this info will never leave the locker room.

The info immediately leaves the locker room.

See, while the Metros have had their crash course in allyship the Raiders did not and the news of Shane's impromptu coming out have spread like wildfire across the league thanks to their gossiping asses. This is Shane's worst nightmare, obviously, but this is a crack AU and not angst, so all things considered it doesn't go too badly.

There are homophobic reactions but mostly people are shocked, and a good percentage of the league is suddenly wondering if sucking cock actually makes you better at hockey?

Anyway, back to the Metros' list of suspects. They write them down in the groupchat, which gets screenshotted and sent around to curious partners (they're still learning), and then obviously further leaked until half the hockey world has seen them.

Mostly, it's a list of guys that a bunch of straight hockey players consider hot, shifted around to account for what they think is Shane's personal taste.

Which is how Shane's number one rival Ilya Rozanov, despite his undeniable hotness, only barely snags spot number eight.

Scott Hunter is the second most popular guess.

Ilya is going insane.

Shane suggests cooling down their situationship to keep Ilya safe from speculation but Ilya goes fully in the other direction, making daytrips to Montreal and booking hotel rooms in Vermont to entice Shane into meeting halfway. He starts leaving visible marks on him, now that Shane is out not just as gay but as a Guy Who Fucks. He seduces Shane into having phone sex whenever the Metros play the Admirals, just in case Shane feels the least bit tempted.

(Scott actually goes up to Shane before a game to offer his support since he's been outed and covertly suggest he's not alone. Shane does not pick up the subtext at all.)

Tuna melt day happens only it's Ilya more overtly doing the boyfriend audition and straight up telling Shane I know you're out and I'm not but I'm working on it, as soon as it's safe (because of the Russia of it all) I can be with you for real! If you want🥺🥺 and Shane goes I don't even want to be out, I don't care if we can't be public, I actually prefer it to be private because my entire life is a circus show right now and I want one thing that's just mine and then they have a bunch of sex about it and emerge as boyfriends.

Fast forward to the 2017 Stanley Cup and the Skip kiss happening on ice and the Metros group chat explodes.

Scott Hunter gets moved to the top spot and also labeled as enemy number one because what do you mean he jerked our Captain around for seven years and then kissed another guy on the ice????

Shane leaves them on read because he is not dealing with this shit in his off season.

[perlukafarinn]

Shane returns at the start of the 2017-2018 preseason feeling happy and relaxed and ridiculously in love. He's just spent three weeks living out of Ilya's pocket, getting fucked on every surface in the cottage, falling asleep together every evening and waking up wrapped in each other's arms. Shane didn't know he could be this happy.

It takes exactly two minutes for his teammates to wreck his good mood.

They're all uncharacteristically careful and subdued, which Shane doesn't pay any particular attention to, until Hayden's coming up to him like, "Hey, buddy, you okay?"

And that's when Shane remembers he muted the group chat in June because they wouldn't stop accusing Scott Hunter of breaking his heart.

"I'm fine," Shane tells Hayden, and the room at large.

His teammates are not buying it. Shane's got a great poker face but it has to suck, watching the guy you've been hooking up with since your rookie season kissing another man for the whole world to see. While he was out on an injury! Literally rubbing salt in the wound.

They tell him it's fine, you don't have to pretend with us. We've all gone through breakups, they suck, must be especially bad finding out you're the other woman.

Man. They mean man. They definitely don't think of gay relationships in terms of who's the woman haha what.

"Give us your word, we'll check Hunter for you," Gagnon offers.

Shane considers pointing out that to the world at large, that would just read as homophobic. He decides to prioritize clearing up this misunderstanding. "You really don't have to, Scott and I were never involved."

His teammates clearly don't believe him.

"We'll go out, find you another guy," J.J. suggests.

Shane's starting to feel kind of insulted. It's not only that they don't believe him, but they really think he can't do better than Hunter? He's hot and all but he's such an inconsistent player.

"Are there strip clubs for gay guys?" someone asks.

"I don't think Shane would wanna go to a strip club," Hayden mercifully says. Not so mercifully, he then follows it up with, "But Jackie's got this friend-"

"I'm good."

Shane, still deeply annoyed, complains about this conversation to Ilya over the phone that evening. He's expecting Ilya to find it funny but whatever, he needs to vent.

Ilya does not find it funny. Ilya insists that he tell his teammates he's got a boyfriend and to make it clear he has never touched Scott Hunter's withered dick right now.

Shane doesn't really want to do that, because Ilya's situation is still getting sorted out and he doesn't want to do anything that might jeopardize his safety. It's only a few months, after all, and what's a few months when they're gonna be together for the rest of their lives?

This is too sweet for Ilya to keep arguing his point.

It does take a few months but the minute Ilya's visa/citizenship situation is sorted out (whichever would work here, I am not doing research for this stupid AU that I'm not even writing properly), he kicks open the closet door.

And by kicks open, I mean he posts a selfie of him and Shane together in bed on twitter. Shane is dozing on his shoulder, cheeks flushed and hair ruffled. They're only visible from the chest up but they're clearly naked. There's a prominent hickey on Ilya's neck.

He captions the picture since summer before rookie season ❤️ and tags every single Metro.

And Scott Hunter, for good measure.