arsonandeyeliner @and-make-it-double - Tumblr Blog

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I'm really really sorry to say this but please do not send me asks for donations, i am not in position where I'm capable of donating

good-fwiend-in-wome

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

jonnystrebor

Not to forget:

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

this website gets me

aru

Tumblr Code.

geekishchic

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

satan-offical

Teacher: guys this Tumblr post is 36281992 years old and only the long lost Tumblr princess can read it

Me: but teacher, I can read it just fine *starts reading in perfect tumblanese*

satan-offical

I posted this yesterday and it already has 3k notes

pukicho

Welcome to the gang. I'll give you your new gang name. Baby Beebo. That's your new gang name. We work hard but we play harder.

pukicho

what? why? :(

cursedpossums

unrestrained summer fun

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

april

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

gayluigi

hellsitegenetics

String identified: a a: ttca-c a t ag t ata- , a a tg t t t a tg t t g t # a a ca t a tt a a a cat t

Closest match: Argentina silus genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Greater Argentine

(image source)

echotunes

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

fuck-philip-banks

thelibrawrian-deactivated201912

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

tehzii

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

ladyzolstice

i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job i’ve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.

so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.

“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”

i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.

“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”

“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”

i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”

A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”

My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.

i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”

“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”

I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.

hollowflight-propaganda

Once in my old private school with only like 20 kids maximum, we started having a debate about this:

I’m not kidding.

One kid had a bag of goldfish crackers, and everyone somehow started to yell at each other about if the main fish is yellow or orange.

I became one of the spearheads for yellow, and my argument was that yellow was the base color and the orange is being used as shading, so it’s not actually orange. But the kid who was the spearhead for orange (let’s call him David) WOULD NOT listen to me. (he was always an asshole though, so it’s not too surprising)

This got so heated that the one guy who was in my grade (let’s call him Paul (half the kids had bible names anyway)) was looking at the back of the bag and found a phone number. I think it’s supposed to be there if there’s a problem with the food or something, but he thought he’d try to call to see what they’d say about our dilemma.

I don’t know exactly what the person told him at first, but Paul explained the situation to them and then they put him on hold for a couple minutes while we waited in suspense. I have no clue what they did to fact check this for us, but they pulled through, AND IT WAS YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!! EAT SHIT DAVID!!!!!! >:DDDD

We broke into a cacophony of either joyful cheers or enraged disappointment. I’m not sure if the person who answered our burning question could hear us, but I hope they did and got some joy out of it.

bianca-hooks123

I would have been on the side of goldfish being, ya know, GOLD.

venerable-thief

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

somethingusefulfromflorida

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

quinnception

im-mender

It's important to note that Chekhov's Gun was not originally about foreshadowing, but a piece of advice to playwrights about how every element in a play should have narrative relevance. The corollary to Chekhov's Gun is that if a gun mounted on the wall in act 1 is never used at all in the entirety of the play, then it should be omitted from the play entirely.

im-mender

also very true

anarchautistic

Very funny example of writing advice that is very specific to its medium getting overapplied outside its scope. Can you imagine how awful set design would be if people tried to apply this to movies. 60 minute post credits scene in the Matrix where Neo has to fire every gun that appears in the "lots of guns" scene

vimbry-moved

bears

macleod

in less than three years we will have adults born in the 2000’s

macleod

the funny thing about this is that both people born in the 2000s are reblogging this freaking out because they arent ready to be adults and people who were born before the 2000s are freaking out about how they feel old and that it cant be happening because all people born in the 2000s are like 4

macleod

in less than two years we will have adults born in the 2010’s

the-haiku-bot

in less than two years

we will have adults born in

the 2010’s

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

sylviii

was asked to make a transmasc version of the meme

deimosbreakfrost

Reblog to make more hot as fuck trans men exist in this world we're in

the-haiku-bot

Reblog to make more

hot as fuck trans men exist

in this world we’re in

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

terraswallows

So happy for them 💓

aandriskobold

[ID: photo of a disabled parking spot. There are two icons of a person in a wheelchair facing opposite directions and overlapping so it looks like they are embracing. /end ID]

mihri-the-sasscatte

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

professorsparklepants

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

kittyopteryx

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

mooretimetoplay

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

necrowemancer

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/ This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game