I've fallen and I don't want to get up

[andtheblskeepcoming]

who is more easily startled?

shane

ilya

Remaining time: 5 days 13 hours

[rainbow-femme]

My favorite element of romance is the end of the “honeymoon” period where you’re gross in front of your partner and they show they still love you anyway

So yeah, the first time Ilya is just down and out gross in front of Shane he gets one of those hard and fast stomach bugs that hits out of nowhere. One minute he’s waking up in bed feeling kind of off, and then he’s sprinting to the bathroom and doesn’t fully make it to the toilet before puking

Now, given his upbringing, I would imagine he was raised in a house where, if that happened when he was growing up, he got scolded while sick and told it was his job to clean it up. So he’s feeling awful, throwing up, thinking that Shane’s gonna be annoyed and he’ll have to clean it quick because Shane doesn’t like mess

But Shane, raised in a supportive household, sees this and just quietly grabs paper towels. Ilya takes a second to lift his head and sees Shane cleaning up the floor. Ilya tries to say that he’ll get it and it’s fine but Shane just tells him not to worry and he can’t argue because he has to throw up again

A big wad of gross paper towels land in the garbage and then Shane is gently rubbing his back and saying soft soothing things about how he knows it’s miserable and he’s sorry Ilya is feeling this way but he promises that once everything is out Ilya will start to feel better. And Ilya is kneeling in front of a toilet, puking, covered in clammy sweat, and is hands down the least sexy he has ever been in Shane’s presence

When the dry heaving is done Shane makes sure he can stand on his own and lets him brush his teeth while he goes and gets something. Ilya is surprised he’s allowed back into bed being sweaty and gross and not sent to the couch, but Shane gets him down and settled, puts a Gatorade on the nightstand for him, wipes his face with a damp cloth, and then sits down and strokes his sweaty hair until Ilya falls asleep, curled up on his side with his face pressed to Shane’s thigh

He spends the next day sleeping, eating toast, rehydrating, and getting spooned by Shane until he feels ok enough for a shower where Shane washes his hair for him, telling stories about times he was sick growing up

And after all the romantic confessions, sex, sensual moments and deep conversations they’ve had up until then, the most loved Ilya has ever felt is when Shane gives him one of his shirts to sleep in before laying down with him in the half dried sweaty sheets, with another Gatorade on the nightstand that is Ilya’s favorite flavor he’s pretty sure he only mentioned once, realizing as he drifts off that Shane has not done any of his usual daily routine in order to take care of Ilya and keep him company while getting nothing in return but the knowledge that it will make Ilya feel better

[thoughtsthinksandthings]

Headcanon that baby Shane has a slight accent when speaking English, and it's for a super unexpected reason.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

They enroll Shane in an English as a Second Language class (which really should be called English as a third language, in this case). Shane eventually catches up and becomes somewhat fluent in English, but he has this slight hybrid Euro-Asian accent when he speaks it.

[leaveamessage]

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)

[gaynehollander]

I feel like Ilya would definitely get some “ball and chain” type of comments regarding Shane and at one point he ends up in a group of guys who start ragging on him when he's thinking about heading out early, calling him whipped, joking about Shane having him on a tight leash, and Ilya ends up just saying, genuinely confused, “do you guys not like your wives?” There’s complete silence for a second before Ilya continues, “maybe you should give them the chance to find someone who actually enjoys spending time with them." And then he goes home to his husband, who also happens to be his favourite person in the world.

[penandinkprincess]

i think i've posted this before, but ilya truly does deserve an award for his patience after getting woken up at fuck o'clock at the cottage for a five year plan strategy session when he was in the middle of a rem cycle.

like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.

i would have hit him with a pillow and said let's circle back, so kudos to ilya.

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[heatonice]

When Shane gets traded to Ottawa, Harris posts a pic of itty bitty toddler Shane in an Ottawa Centaurs jersey that he is absolutely drowning in (it‘s David‘s) cheesing like there is no tomorrow, next to a pic of current Shane in his new Centaurs jersey with the caption: welcome home, Shane.

[i-fear-gritty]

i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)

everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell

[tinylilhollander]

I hate to say it, but after they're out and married and don't have to hide anymore, Shane and Ilya both become the biggest "Can I my husband join us?" guys. Rose invites Shane to brunch and it's immediately "Can Ilya come too?". Svetlana has managed by some miracle to find a night where she and Ilya are both free to go clubbing and Ilya is like "Is it cool if Shane comes with us?". Hayden doesn't even wait for the question anymore. "Do you and your lawfully wedded asshole want to come over and play the new MLH video game?" They just come as a set now and everyone has to accept that.

[russianblush]

ilya: *consent king* shane: please just shut up and fuck me

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Fandom is so obsessed with contrasts in ships that they force them onto hollanov, a couple who are FAMOUSLY supposed to be similar. There is no slutty one and prudish one. They both love sex. There is no smart one and dumb one. They both excel at the same career where traditional metrics of academic intelligence don't apply. There is no jock and nerd. They are both professional athletes. There is no neatfreak and slob. They both pay other people to clean their houses. Please release yourself from the need to manufacture an opposites attract dynamic in every facet of their relationship, ESPECIALLY when the central conceit of hollanov as a couple is that they're more alike than everyone else seems to think.

[grabmyboner]

hudsons team of women is like girls that got their dream job to dress up their lil ken doll who is also a gremlin

[grabmyboner]

this hudson with his ladies

[pointlesscandies]

The common cold is the most powerful force in the Thai bl world. For most people a cold is uncomfortable but if you're a character in a Thai bl I am so sorry because you're gonna be on your deathbed. It's been 5 minutes since you first coughed and you're passing out in the hallway, you’re unconscious, you're helpless, you don't know what's happening. Why do you have absolutely no memory of the last 72 hours? Oh right because you went outside in the rain for six seconds and caught an insta-cold and now you're in your crushes' house having nightmares of a past life. The only thing standing between a bl boy with a cold and the sweet embrace of the grave is a bowl of room temperature water and a washcloth

[sunsetandthemoon]

NOT ME (2021 - 2022)

[djarin]

SHANE HOLLANDER x ILYA ROZANOV + discreet touches

+ (a not so discreet) bonus:

[bees-reads]

After Shane takes a photo with the girls from the aquarium they post it online mentioning how he was there with his baby.

The post gets a bit of traction and eventually the media gets a hold of it.

At his next press conference one of the reporters decided to bring it up.

Reporter: Shane do you have any comment about the recent post showing you on a family outing with a baby?

Shane: uhhh, baby?

R: yes at the aquarium

S: oh you mean Arthur?

R: yes, sure. Do you have comment on who the mother of the child is?

S: Jackie

R: Jackie Pike?

S: yeah???

Obviously the internet explodes discussing how the Shane Hollander has just admitted to having an affair with his best friend’s wife that resulted in a baby! Until Shane had to clarify that he isn’t the father of the child, he was just fulfilling his uncle duties that day.

Hayden also had to say that he was *with Shane* at the time the photo was taken and that the girls asked him to hold “Shane’s baby” so that they could take a photo him with. The Shayden shippers are very satisfied by this and now have enough content to keep them going for 3-5 years.