Untitled No. 5

Rebecca. Nerd. "That could only lead to disaster and hilarity! Let's go!"

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[theburialofstrawberries]

awesome awesome interview with Emily Wilson

[superhell]

ill feel better when ronaldo dies on the pitch on live tv tomorrow

[superhell]

Today.

[deervsheadlights]

just the ol' nine-to-five

[another regular day at work || a regular workplace relationship]

[sandersstudies]

Me: man I wish I knew more of my neighbors better

My nine-year-old neighbor: *crashes mom’s car into my yard*

Me: Be careful what you wish for I suppose

[sandersstudies]

Honestly my first draft of this post said “my neighbor’s son” and then I was like wait a second that’s functionally the same as saying “my cousin’s sister.” That’s still my cousin and that’s still my neighbor.

[sandersstudies]

Stop saying Calvin and Hobbes it’s important to me that Calvin is six and not nine.

[the-lincyclopedia]

I take it the nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle?

[sandersstudies]

The nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle after knocking the gear shift into Drive apparently by accident. Seven- and five-year-olds in the backseat. Nine-year-old knows in movies people stomp down on the thing on the floor and the car stops. He stomps. It is the gas.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[teamroscoes]

Vozinha 🐐 of Cape Verde against Spain [score : 0-0] | World Cup 2026

[jacindaelena]

Oregon by Elliot Hawkey

[akashicrecord]

you ever been milked big time?

I was the only almond at Silk for 5 years

[rucktwins]

‘103 — Sidny Lopes Cabral has equalized against Argentina AGAIN! The defending World Champions scoring earlier for a winner doesn’t scare the Blue Sharks! In the last few minutes of extra time, they deliver another beautiful goal! This team just won’t stop! Yet despite the strong match to rival the World Champions, a mere OG has eliminated Cape Verde from the tournament. Their underdog run ends in the Round of 32, but the entire world has already fallen in love with the small island debutants. [Match ended 3-2]

[gemthegerm]

happy 4th of july to this image the official boston fire department made and posted to twitter like 3 years ago. i will not let it die.

[nextlevelsmp3]

[biglawbear]

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He—wait. Why dost the Lord hath clippers.

[biglawbear]

The Lord sheareth me.

[teaboot]

“Jesus Shaves”

[girlnumbers]

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

[moiraxrose]

one thing it is imperative to know about the television show Widow’s Bay is that it was created by katie dippold whose name you may not immediately recognize but whose tweet from 10 years ago you definitely do:

[halles-comet]

my favorite thing about louis is he's a business major in a world of theater kids. everyone's playing psychological games with each other through theater and rock music and the fractured art of storytelling and he's like "but what are the margins on my vampire hotel"

[fibbunny]

It’s so fucking bananas that the last straw for Lestat in that meeting was finding out that Louis was getting 45% of merch profits on his tour. What kind of joker ass motherfucker becomes an investor in their ex’s crash out??? Louis Du Pointe Du Lac no one ever did it like you

[mousenemy]