Unconditionally

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How is it in Med School?

So hey! It’s been a while since I blogged. As per my plan, I entered Med school. I chose to study in FEU NRMF because a) it’s a good school and has a reputation for producing quality doctors and b) it’s much nearer to our house as compared to other schools. I’ve only been in here for 4 weeks and I already have a lot to say about it HAHAHAHA  First, when they say it is toxic in FEU NRMF, it is really toxic. They weren’t kidding when upperclassmen say to think about entering nrmf 10x because it’ll be a hell ride. Every week feels like an exam week (at least for me since I’m a grade conscious piece of shit) and what’s sad is it doesn’t really matter if I pull off an all nighter or not because I still get a grade that doesn’t meet my own standards (yes, I’m also a perfectionist piece of shit).  Second, it’s expensive. Here, we have to buy manuals for major subjects. Each manual costs around 400-500 pesos. And for my first sem, I had to buy 5 manuals. Add to that the books that we have to buy. I bought one book, the atlas, and that alone costs 4000+ pesos. There are pdf availables but if you’re like me who learns so much more when reading a hard material, then you’ve got to ready your pockets. What I do, though, is I print the chapters of the ebook that I should study for. So, if you’re going to rely on ebooks, invest on printers Third, MORNING CLASSES. DAMN. I just have to emphasize on how much I hate morning classes. When I was in college, I always opt for classes that start late (9 am being the earliest). But here in nrmf, our classes often start at 8 am. And if that wasn’t early enough, they give shifting (unit) exams at 7 am. :) :) :) I always sleep with anxiety because I always worry that I might not wake up on time. Living nearby the school will help you on this dilemma. BUT STILL. It’s so hard to get through 5 subjects with 3-4 hrs of sleep Fourth, the food here are extremely affordable!!! Students often eat around the karinderias that offer a lot of food at prices 40-60 pesos. Others might still find that expensive but if you’re like me who came from taft whose food prices range from 90-120 pesos, it’s a huge price slash. Fifth, you’ll learn how to sleep in class. Yes, lectures are boring. Add to that the lack of sleep and disappointment over shifting exam results, then yes, you’ll learn the art of sleeping in class.  Sixth, you’ll get stronger as a person. Usually disappointments tend to suck the motivation out of my system but here in med school, you don’t have time to sulk and pity yourself. So I just bounce up, decide to always pull my shit much tighter and woman up.  So yup. I’m cherishing my first sem here as a med student. I find a weird satisfaction in working hard for my career and of course, for my future patients. It’s hard but hey we, doctors, always choose the path less taken. 

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How EXO saved me

First of all, that's an awfully cheesy title HAHA. So my close friends probably know by now that I am deeply engrossed with kpop, specifically EXO nowadays. I got into kpop after going through bad relationships. The 20-yr old Anna probably knows that her december dating history is a hot mess. To give you an overview, I dated around 4 (or 5??? Omygod why am i not sure about this??) guys last december 2016. I know im such a hoe but I had my own reasons 😂. I had nothing better to do with my life back then and I cope with each failed relationship (although i can barely call them "relationships") with yet another unhealthy relationship. It was a cycle, to be honest. The chase and heart ache, for some reasons, are addictive. But with the last guy I dated, i decided I had enough. It was the last straw for me (because I later on found out that the guy has a girlfriend and he probably used me as a past time.) I've lost all the self respect I have. And that is when I told myself that instead of distracting myself from the heart ache through another toxic relationship, I have to stop and heal myself first. Since my unemployed and unenrolled ass has nothing to do, I decided to check out Kdramas. I enjoyed watching kdramas and it also takes my mind off those fuckboys. Later on, my highschool busmate introduced me to EXO since she saw me getting hooked to kdramas. The first exo song that i listened to is "Dont Go". It's a classic and i fell inlove with these boys' vocals. I started listening to their songs and I remember watching "Moonlight" with my mouth open because damn Byun Baekhyun is such a talented singer. Exo's vocal line is not a joke. Then of course, I came across the song "Monster". I first saw the dance practice version and damn that choreography??? I refused to believe that that is a "dance practice". All of them danced so well I was honestly confused at who to look at. That's how I slowly became a fan. These boys are so talented I cant even begin to explain. In a span of 1 month they already began taking a huge part of heart. I love them so much. Aside from being talented, they are also good looking!!! All of them have a pleasing personality. All of them are so precious. These boys saved me from the cycle of being in toxic relationships. They kept me preoccupied. They also treat women with utmost respect and I realized that that is the way I should be treated. They inspired me to work hard and to give my best with my med school application. I'd like to give a shout out to my bias, Lay (Zhang Yixing). I've read his autobiography and it was so inspiring. He was so brave for flying to korea at the age of 17 to train. My parents wont even let me go to the mall near our condo at age 20. My sheltered ass was challenged to be brave and independent. He is also a hard working kid. He honestly inspired me to push myself to my limits. This boy tied sand bags to his waist during practice just so he could improve his dancing. I mean who does that?? I would never memorize plants' scientific names just to improve on my botany class. But after reading his book, I started downloading some lessons from 1st yr med books to read in advance. I'm also in awe of how he handled criticisms. Like Lay, Im also very sensitive to criticisms and bad comments. I would be honest and say that I usually fight these people through arguing and other immature ways but now that I stan Lay, I practice taking these comments objectively. So yes, that's EXO's impact on my life. This group made a positive change on my life. I would support them with my whole heart. Saranghaja!!

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Let me tell you about that time I graduated from college

I just really miss being a student. I miss DLSU and the stress. So let me tell you about that one time I graduated from college. After having our recognition rites at DLSU, we marched down the halls of PICC last October 2016 to receive our diplomas. While it was overwhelming and heart warming, I’ve had several thoughts about it. First, that heels killed the hell out of my feet. 

Perfect definition of tiis ganda. HAHAHA Next thought is, I kind of hate my parents for not knowing how to use the DSLR camera :((. All of my photos are blurry. AS IN.. I CAN’T EVEN. I think I’ve deleted about half of my PICC photos because they’re all blurry. Such a waste. My brothers were unfortunately not present because my kuya was in Japan back then while my younger brother had saturday classes. So it wasn’t as fun as I expected it to be. 

I don’t really wear accessories. I didn’t even wear any earrings/necklace/bracelet. But as I was choosing photos to post, I saw that I apparently was wearing my favorite accessory-- my hair tie. HAHAHA I’ve been so accustomed to having a black hair tie on my wrist as it was something that I do even before college. The hair tie is a big photo ruiner but I like how very “Anna” they turned out to be.

Unfortunately, that’s our only family picture. HAHAHAHA where/what am I looking at?? Next thought is, if I’m being honest, I don’t think it’s worth it to sit for 3 hrs straight just for a piece of paper that isn’t even our diploma. HAHAHA our college was last to be called that day so, we had to endure for so long to wait for our turn and 5-second exposure. HAHAHA But that didn’t stop me from posing like that rolled paper is the bomb:

And lastly, I think the real highlight of my graduation is the singing of the alma mater song. I got goosebumps and i got so emotional singing it because the last time we sang it (of course, aside from singing it during the UAAP games) was during our frosh welcoming ceremony. The memory of my first day as an official student of DLSU flashed back and hit me like a truck. I couldn’t even finish filming the alma mater song because I was that emotional. HAHAHAH Here’s a screenshot from that video:

Graduation for the next batch of la sallians is just around the corner. It’s going to be stressful until the very end-- from taking tons of pictures in front of the LS building to attending that recognition rites to sitting through the baccalaureate mass to finding your seatmate during formation at PICC. But I promise you that the sense of accomplishment and fulfillment will be the best feeling ever.

From your 113 Ates and Kuyas.

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“Sa bawat paalam ko, hiling ko ang pag sumamo mo Sa bawat paghakbang ko, hiling ko ang pagpigil mo Sa bawat distansyang lumalayo ako, hiling ko ang pag sunod mo Hiling. Panalangin. Pangarap. Panaginip.” -An excerpt from a poem I made a long time ago. 

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Sunnies Cafe x Arrowland

01.03.17

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The truths in studying in an all-girls school

I studied in St. Paul College, Pasig for my high school. I had to transfer there due to some personal reasons. It was really different from my previous school but it was a good kind of different. It had its perks and cons. But if anything else, these are the things that I can say are the real things about studying in it:

1.       You learn how to give zero fucks

I used to be so conscious on what I wear, what I look like and how I do things because back in my previous school—a small school from our province—everyone had their eyes on each other. So every little thing is magnified. But in SPCP, no one actually gives a damn if you’re weird or extreme or what not as long as you don’t offend anyone. I gained confidence in my stay because we were encouraged to be happy in our own skin. I like how in SPCP there is no such trend like “pretty girls are supposed to have straight hair” or “pretty girls are supposed to be petite”. I’ve had girl crushes who had pretty curls and curves because they are able to swoon people with their own charms. I also think that this comes in handy in times when some bitch is bothering you and you don’t have the time for them.

2.       They train you to accept no shit from boys

I realized that there is so much to us girls than what this patriarchal society gives us credit for. I studied with girls who have strong personalities that’s why I learned how to pick up myself and stop being the damsel-in-distress shit that I was. Your stay will make you realize that you don’t need boys to achieve your dreams. And I hate that people mistake us for people who don’t know how to function around boys. Yes, it is quite hard for us at first to socialize with boys but we get the hang of it since paulinians are known to quickly adapt. (I remember wincing and pushing the first guy who first wrapped his arms on my shoulder because it was that awkward for me to be around guys HAHAHA)

3.       You learn how to accept diversity

I love how I have besties who are into arts, music, sports, and literature. I love how I have besties who are bisexuals, homosexuals, and heterosexuals. Throughout my stay in SPCP, I realize that these girls are extremely talented and despite us having different personalities, we get to appreciate each other. Differences didn’t hinder us from developing true friendships.

4.       Boobs day

Boobs day is a day when you get to touch your friends’ boobs for no reason at all. It was a simple running joke for me before but now I realize how awesome it is that boobs are never treated as sexual objects in SPCP. Being and growing up with girls will teach you self respect. Same goes with how we understand that penises are, you know, just organs. We know how not to put malice on these body parts.

5.       Here is where you see girls who can do both.

You can either see us rocking a plain shirt and pants or that flowy dress. You can see us lying on the floor/cement/dirt. Or you can see us sitting like a god-damn princess in that velvet chair. You can either see us running our lungs out in our sneakers or strut the hell out of our legs in that 5-inch stilettos. You can either hear us talking in the most conyo way or hear us blurt things out like “putangina inis na si ac0e” “yoko na b3h”. We’re just girls who can do both.

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Wednesday afternoon Bestie: tara tagaytay tayo? Me: Kailan? B: bukas M: ano gagawin natin don? B: Mag ma-mcdo. M: G. 

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My college bessies

Probably one of the craziest things I’ve done this year is to commute all the way from Ortigas to Dasmarinas for these hoes. It was worth it and got so emotional seeing them in white uniform. It felt bitter sweet to finally be united with them since despedida namin to for Juju bear. :( 

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I’ve scanned through my blog and it is sad (and annoying) how sad my posts are. HAHAHA so I’m planning on posting more happy stuff from now on. So last saturday, April 1, we took our abuela out for a drive. And I hope she enjoyed

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I miss you.

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Reminder: I made it

Often times I tend to underestimate myself. So I’m posting my graduation photos to remind myself that I made it through the 1st step and I’m so much more than what I think I am. 

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The penny you wished on

The Penny You Wished On

11:11, you closed your eyes  Held on to me and muttered your wishes For a minute you’ve let me see you For a minute you trusted For a minute you were hopeful  Shooting stars, you looked up  Circled me around your fingers  And slowly whispered your prayers  You told me how paradoxical it is  How it scares you but ignites you Excites you but antagonizes you For a moment I felt it For a moment I understood. Sea breeze, waves, and summer heat; The one where it feels real– Where you could taste the salt in the wind And the heat kisses your skin Yours and my personal favorite This time you were staring down; By the railing You watched the ocean lazily hit the vessel you were in Tired, you took me out Told me you made it Told me it was hard but you’re getting by  And for the last time I’ve let your pleas and stories circle around me I’ve let your voice dance in my ears Before you dropped me to the ocean A tiny treasure lost in the depths of water Beneath these waves that carry you on Is where I promise to stay Forever living with the condition you’d never get to hold me again Goodbyes but all smiles Exhausted and burnt out But brimming with pride Happy and hopeful  Always  01.24.17; 12:29 am 

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Ungrateful

It’s been a while since I last posted a blog. *deep sigh* I’m on my last term for my college so wish me luck! Anyway, a lot of things have happened lately and I want to pour out my emotions about ungrateful people Both of my parents came from a poor family so they had to work really hard to get their respective families out of the slums. My dad, in particular, has sent a lot of his brothers, nieces and nephews to school. He even supported their careers financially. In other words, he was never selfish when it comes to money. Ironically even though it was my dad who spent all the money, he was the most fortunate one among his siblings probably because he really knows shit about money. You’d be amazed how well he can manage our finances. But aside from that skill, he’s also frugal. He only spends his money if he thinks it’s worth it. But nevertheless, he never hesitated to lend money to other people. And now all of a sudden, the very people who he helped immensely is turning against him. I, personally, don’t understand why because my dad has been nothing but kind. I don’t involve myself in their own misunderstandings and quarrels but I take note of the people who’d been ungrateful to him. I keep count on how many times he helped them and how many times they betrayed him. I observe how they slowly push my dad downwards. I record all the bad things they say about him. I watch how they all put up a mutiny to put his morale down. And lastly I write publicly these things so that if one day they come for help to me, I would show them how they treated my dad and my family so badly.

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Yung facebook/twitter/youtube page ko, punong puno ng defensive statements ng mga fans ni Duterte. At dahil phone lang gamit ko ngayon, ipopost ko sa separate entry yung mga nakakagalit na comento ng mga fans nya. Unang una po sa lahat, di po ba kayo kinikilabutan sa mga pinagsasabi nyo? Nandyan yung depensa ng isang dutertard na "why? Is it a crime to make a joke about raping a woman?" Tangina kuya. Legal man na batas o hindi, tama ba na gawin nating joke ang rape? Ilagay mo ang sarili mo sa lugar ng isang babaeng na-rape, ano sa tingin mo ang mararamdaman mo kung sabihan ka ng dutertard fan na di naman krimen ang pagjojoke about your traumatic experience? Nandyan rin po yung "I would rather choose a candidate with bad attitude than a candidate with bad morals" tangina ka rin ate. Sa pagsabi ni duterte ng joke na yan, sa tingin mo ba malinis ang moral nya? Sa tuluyan nyang pag tapak sa ATIN na mga babae, eh may malinis pang moralidad yan? Sa totoo lang po talaga yung pagkatao ni duterte ay isang malaking insulto sa akin. Marami akong rason and i could go for days talking about it pero isa na sa mga rason na yon ay yung mga salita nyang nag cucultivate sa rape culture Ang dami ko daw kuda. Ang dami ko naman daw alam. Ang sabi ko naman, aba dapat lang na marami akong kuda. Pagka babae at pagkatao ko at ng iba pang biktima ng sexual harassment ang inapakan at dinuruan ni duterte. Ang importante daw eh may ordinansa si Duterte sa Davao na naglalayon na protektahan ang kababaihan. Action speaks louder than voice ika nga nila. Ang masasabi ko naman, thank you mayor sa pagprotekta sa mga kababaihan sa davao pero pano nyo po maipapaliwanag yung pag halik halik nyo sa iba't ibang babae? Sa tingin nyo po ba eh napoprotektahan nyo kaming mga babae sa pamamagitan ng pag encourage sa kaisipan ng mga lalaki ng victim blaming at rape culture? "Ganyan talaga mga lalaki" "natural lang sa mga lalaki na mag karoon ng sexual tendencies" sabi ng mga suporters ni Duterte. Nakakadiri at nakakakilabot lang isipin na walang self control si Duterte sa sarili nyang sexual tendencies. Marami akong kaibigang lalaki na, oo minsan bastos talaga ang pag iisip pero alam nila kung hanggang saan at hanggang kailan lang nilang pwedeng ipakita itong sexual tendencies na to. Malaya kaming nakakapag usap tungkol sa sex ng hindi binabastos ang isa't isa. At wow, talagang dinamay na ng mga fans nya ang buong kalalakihan. Nahiya naman po ang mga edukadong at disenteng kalalakihan sa inyo. Kailan man ay di magiging justifiable ang rape. At katulad non, wala rin akong matanggap na justification sa joke ni Duterte about rape kahit ano man ang kontekstong sinasabi ng ilan.

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Road to Med School

So I’ve recently completed my NMAT (kind of like the MCAT abroad) application and Im scheduled to take it on April 17, 2016. Everything about med school and graduating still feels surreal.

 The fact that everything is so near and  that the real thing is really coming catch me off guard every time. I’ve waited for this for a very long time and it’s just nerve wrecking that I’m months closer to becoming a graduate student of medicine. I don’t know. I still can’t believe that I’m signing up for Med already!! I hope and pray that my NMAT results will be awesome. I didn’t sign up for any review session so hopefully, stock knowledge and acquired skills will help me get through this exam. Upon seeing the reviewer, I can say that I’m quite confident with my Biology knowledge, however I would still have to brush up on my physics (BECAUSE PHYSICS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PAIN IN EVERYONE’S ASS). I love chem enough to understand some of it but of course, as someone who has dreamt of going to a med school that has high standards, I would still have to hit the library and review things on my own. WISH ME LUCK!

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Tips and Activities When Going to Baguio

If you’re searching for a cool place to stay in, surely you would have thought of going to Baguio. My family and I decided to go to baguio and I’m so happy that we were able to visit all of the tourist spots in it. But before I ramble about our adventure, I want to give you to tips on how to maximize your trip

TIPS:

1.       Book a hotel in advance.

Since we came to baguio during the peak season, booking for a hotel came as a challenge for us. Take note that we had almost 2 months to spare but the hotels were already fully booked. So, go search the internet for hotels. Online reservation is so much easier than showing up in hotels unannounced. Or if you want a more affordable place to stay in, there are motels and “transient” hotels around baguio. 

2.       One word: waze

If you haven’t downloaded this app yet, please do. It’s very convenient and it gives accurate directions. If you miss a turn, it will devise a new route for you. Most of the roads in Baguio are either 2 way, 1 way, or rotunda type. So if you’re a stranger to Baguio, the chances of you getting lost is high. By downloading waze (and of course by having an internet connection), you can save time, effort and even money. We originally planned of leaving our car in the hotel and taking the taxi but we decided against it since (we guessed) that renting a taxi can be more costly.

3.       Have an itinerary

The itinerary doesn’t have to be too detailed. Chances are, that will not be followed due to other factors like traffic. Instead, list down places that you need to visit for the day or restaurants that you want to dine in. That way, you and your companions won’t have to argue which places to go to first.

4.       Shades and caps

Baguio may have a cool weather, but it’s a pretty sunny place and if you’re like me who doesn’t feel comfortable being out under the sun for too long, you need this. Or better yet, bring an umbrella (but it gets in the way when walking, so you decide)

5.       Don’t take too much pictures

Throughout my trips to other places, I’ve found out that the best way to enjoy or cherish a moment, is not to take tons of pictures. It can be distracting and admit it, your intention in capturing it is not to freeze the moment but to boast it to your friends. You can take one or two pictures but remember to just live in the moment. Capture it in your mind instead.

6.       Be patient in looking/waiting for a parking slot

The parking spaces are very limited in Baguio. Look for a parking space, fall in line with the other cars and wait for your turn. It’s really a challenge and there is nothing to do but wait. But for us, the longest waiting time that we had to do was 15 mins (in Burnham park). I don’t know if we’re just lucky but we always get a good spot the moment we go to other places hehehe. It’s a matter of luck and timing.

7.       Bring with you a picnic mat

We actually regret not bringing this because Baguio is full of parks where you can sit down and have a picnic with your companions. And also, it is handy if you want to sit down after walking around.

 PLACES TO GO TO & ACTIVITIES:

1.       Wright Park and the Mansion

No entrance free so yay!

There is nothing much in this place but if you want to relax, this is the place to be. Although the horse dung cannot be ignored sometimes. But the farther you get, the fresher the air gets.

2.       Camp John Hay

3.       Philippine Military Academy

I enjoyed (surprisingly) the PMA because of the different tank relics that were displayed in there. You can go inside the tanks and have your awesome pictures taken. Also, it’s very interesting how our Military generals train. They look so regal in their uniforms.

4.       Pink Sisters, St. Joseph Church, and Baguio Cathedral

(Pink sisters)

(St. Joseph)

If you have a very religious family like mine, having a mini pilgrimage in every trip is a must. So we were able to  visit 3 churches and the biggest among them all is the Baguio Cathedral. The pink sisters has the most sincere and sacred aura while St. Joseph Church has the simplest but most accessible location. The 3 churches are located just near to each other and are beside famous landmarks so finding them won’t be too hard.

5.       Burnham Park

I enjoyed this place because of the biking and the boat riding. Since it was during Christmas when we went there, there are a lot of people and although it seems overcrowded, we didn’t let ourselves get stressed out by the number of people. We enjoyed biking around and rowing around. You can have someone row for you, though.

6.       Strawberry Farm

It’s kind of far but that’s alright. With using waze, you can reach it in 15-25 minutes (if there is no traffic). Unfortunately, we weren’t able to personally pick strawberries because it’s apparently not yet the time to pick them. But you can just look at the farm and buy fresh vegetables and fruits nearby.          

7.       Good Sheperd and Mines View Park

We didn’t go to Mines View Park anymore but I know that it’s similar to wright park. You can do the same things in there. So before you finish off your trip, drop by in Good Shepherd to buy some goodies. I recommend their best seller, Strawberry jam (about 275 when we bought it since it’s seasonal), and Ube Halaya (I cant remember the price but it ranges around 180-250). The strawberry jam is a bomb!!!!!! I love it. It’s not super sweet and it’s stuffed with real strawberries. Also, the peanut brittle jar is completely filled, unlike the ones you can buy outside, in which the jar looks full but is actually hollow. And besides, by buying stuff from Good Shepherd, you get to help the convent running the place send children to school. J

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Book review: Girl on The Train

First of all, wow @/self for finally having the guts to write a book review

So I’ve recently finished reading Girl on The Train by Paula Hawkins. It’s about a girl who rides the train regularly and whose life got tangled up with the people who she sees outside the train windows and with her ex-husband’s family. 

OVER ALL RATING: 1.5/5 stars

If you’ve watched how to get away with murder, gone girl, or any other mystery movie/book, unlocking the so-called mystery in this book will be easy. And because it is easy to figure out the root cause of the conflict, it becomes boring. As for me who figured out the mystery killer halfway through the book, I must say that the story is quite dragging. The GIF below is my accurate reaction after I read the supposed plot twist

As for the main character, Rachel, I must say that she has an ugly character development. Probably the only development she made was to not become a drunkard bitch. I hate her personality and it sucks because her very annoying personality will be emphasized on every chapter of this book. But I do feel sorry for her. Paula Hawkins was able to show how depressive people think and act. I just really wished she gave justice to Rachel’s “development”. I probably didn’t like the book because of Rachel.

As for the other characters, I really like Anna (no, not biased). She’s the only character that actually makes sense. There were times when she assumes so much but nonetheless, I like her better than Rachel. Then there is an another character, a red head who sits few seats away from Rachel, who I think is placed in the story as a convenience. It would’ve honestly been better if he and rachel fell inlove.

One of the few good things I like about this book is how true depression feels and how it can affect good relationship and one’s life. 

Since this is Paula Hawkin’s first book, I really hope her next books won’t be as boring, as obnoxious, or as predictable as her first book, Girl on The Train.