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[skullchicken]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[westiec]

5% is a long time for some things and the idea of actually celebrating my efforts for that long is kinda blowing my mind. hm.

[anotherrowen]

This is real though. I think this is how we get ADHD brains that run on little treats before the task instead of any kind of reward after the task. We don't believe in the reward. It's not real. I need payment up front in the form of a little treat.

[nickyflowers]

i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

Der lästige Kavalier (The Annoying Gentleman), by Berthold Woltze, 1874.

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

that is a "hello darkness my old friend" face if I ever saw one.

[safetynot9uaranteed]

Cybersmith off his shits

[marzipanandminutiae]

keep in mind also that this girl is

A. A teenager, since her hair is almost fully down (the longer skirt and her traveling alone make me think maybe 14-15), and

B. In mourning, as evidenced by her entirely matte and unornamented black dress, gloves, and hat

so this guy is pestering a young girl who's just lost someone close to her, in absence of clear social cues meant to convey exactly that

[shinyhappygoth]

I recently saw it pointed out elseTumblr that, a remarkably easy detail to miss, she is going for her hatpin. The clear social cues are about to escalate.

[lyricwritesprose]

I for one think that is very valid of her and that hatpinning That Guy should still be considered a socially acceptable and perhaps even laudable option.

[anotherrowen]

Hatpin That Guy!

[anotherrowen]

When I graduated high school and through most of my 20s, popping the hood of my vehicle to check the oil gave me an anxiety attack due to the conditioning I received in my family home.

Today I replaced spark plugs and ignition coils on my partner's car because

Because I can

Because I've put in a fuck ton of work desensitizing myself

Because I've slowly learned what tools work how and what to look for when I'm working on the puzzle that is an engine.

I'm not /good/ at it, not by a long shot. But damn. I've gotten rid of more than one vehicle because it had an issue similar to the one I just fixed.

And that feels really fucking good.

[dykebeckett]

dramatically and violently turns into a werewolf and then continues doing the same thing I was doing before

[whereserpentswalk]

This is what coming out as queer is like.

[purrlockholmesbooksblog]

Come now, Mr Scrooge, where is your holiday spirit? (Pun unintended.)

The Scrooges are from our printable Christmas Advent!

[nothorses]

thinking about how my mom spent like 2 years getting downright vicious about the houseless folks who were camping in the woods past her house (to the point of getting a BB rifle that looked like a real fucking gun to threaten them with when they crossed in front of her house??) and justifying it with White Lady Fear a la "what if one of them does something to me! I am but a helpless white woman living all alone!!" and like...

y'all, she terrorized those people. every single time she saw someone outside, she was riling her dog up to bark, waving a gun in their faces (that for all intents & purposes they certainly thought was real), yelling at them, calling the cops (thank god the 2 rural-ass cops didn't actually give a shit), etc.

and she justified it with fears of womanly fragility & inability to defend herself, and I believe how afraid she was! she talked about fearing they would break into her house at night and sexually assault her, and I believe she was legitimately afraid of that. she's been victimized in many of the ways she was afraid of being victimized by them.

the thing is that it doesn't matter how real the fear is.

nothing ever happened, nobody ever tried to threaten her, nobody tried to break in, nobody even approached her. she initiated every single interaction. when she told them not to go through her yard, they did the best they could to respect that without giving up their camping spot; which was on someone else's property, who didn't mind them being there (not to mention one of them is actually indigenous to this specific land!)

she was a thousand times more threatening to those people than they ever were to her, but her fear of them was still real. and that's exactly what made her so dangerous.

I need cis women to internalize this ASAP. your fear is real, and it can and will hurt others. your fear is real, and it is harmful. your fear is real, and your hurt is not deserved, and you still need to grow & heal & prevent it from causing harm.

[nothorses]

this is starting to get notes, so I just want to add:

this woman is bright & bubbly, she's pretty and young-looking, she's charming & charismatic. she's smart! she's successful in tech! she's got a nose ring and tasteful tattoos and she dyed her hair blue, she had an undercut for a bit, she's fashionably androgynous, she's got queer friends and she's An Ally(tm)! (hell, she'd likely be queer herself, if not for the gen X "I don't like labels" brainrot and internalized misogyny)

I worry that when I describe this side of her, people are envisioning a very unsympathetic caricature of a rural woman who lives alone and waves guns at trespassers. I don't want yall to picture a stereotypically Bitter Old Hag and distance yourselves from the possibility that you could know someone like this, or that you yourself could ever be this person to someone else.

my mother is on feminist tiktok, she asks me questions about puberty blockers so she can defend trans people to her friends, she shares tiktoks about ADHD with me (and has even shared her adderall with me when the pharmacy has run out of mine. in minecraft.)

she is also deeply conservative in many, many ways, and her fear- which, again, is often justified by her real-life experiences- lies directly at the root of that bigotry.

your fear is not better, purer, or less harmful than hers is.

[dr-werewolf]

I appreciate "just some dude"-type of masculine aesthetic and comIetely understand why there is a lot of transmascs who lean towards it, but I just can't relate to it. I need more representation of transmasculine people who transition to be a dark academia history professor, an effeminate dandy, a mad scientist with mysterious sadness in his eyes, a gay politician, a Fyodor Dostoyevsky impersonator, a

[anotherrowen]

Okay but finding out that my partner's ex and their partner discouraged him (intensely) from changing his name because of their (lazy af) experience with their other partner's name change kinda makes me want to make fake accounts and harass them online

Idk.

AITA?

[pyrrhiccomedy]

so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here

during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."

when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.

"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.

it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.

like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it

[lgb-without-t-deactivated202509]

[tim-ee-sis]

For anyone who doesn't know, this is from the Indy Drag Theatre where I live and these queens are SUPER talented. All of the shows are hilarious drag versions of popular movies/shows during which the audience is encouraged to interact like a drag show.

If you ever get the chance, come see a show! And obviously invite me to go with you since I live here!

[b0nkcreat]

just told my mom i was gonna freak it sensitive style and she hyped me up with “ooh quiet down…. quiet down..” while i was dancing

[b0nkcreat]

live reenactment

[b0nkcreat]

happy almost 80 thousand (?!?!??!?!!) notes to this post. Please stop asking to date my mom she is already married to the grind

[ublock-origin]

what the fuck do you mean your keyboard doesnt have letters

We have no letters Kathleen!

[ublock-origin]

some 8ish years now i reckon

i have naturally acidic sweat. it's a family thing

[ublock-origin]

we have already. They don't know exactly what is up with it, other than the sweat being slightly more acidic than normal and the acidic mantle being thicker and Way more acidic than normal, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with acidosis. As far as we have tested, our family has had this since at least my great grandpa, and the guy lived to be 93 years old.

[ashestoashesjc]

[captain-price-unofficially]

What the fuck.

[naggingatlas]

op is a xenomorph descendant from that one time ripley fucked the queen

[ublock-origin]

Because in its younger days it used to have RGB lights:

Some of them still work, when they want:

Though I've long forgotten how to change the color settings

[ublock-origin]

NEVERMIND I JUST REMEMBERED HOW

[lastoneout]

Imagine trying to claim op is wasteful for using a plastic keyboard after they show off something that looks like it belongs at Old Friends Senior Keyboard Sanctuary.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}

[daughter-of-sapph0]

college bully girl: you're such a teacher's pet

kinky nerdy college girl: how did you know?

[daughter-of-sapph0]

"hey op what does this mean?"

it means I think my sociology professor is hot and I want her to pull me around on a leash!

[thatonefan02]

[original-username42]

[prokopetz]

"But why do you follow all these people if they keep posting fetish art you're not into" do you have any idea how boring my dashboard would be if I only followed people who aren't into weird shit?

[prokopetz]

It's an unavoidable truth that interesting people are, more often than not, into weird shit.

Sometimes the weird shit is a fun bonus.

Sometimes the weird shit is the price you pay.

[caats]

[warcrimesimulator]

[kusali]

That's not even.. what's going on (re the last tweet). People with ocd aren't contemplating sexually abusing kids, they're afraid they might sexually harm a child by mistake, or be a pedophile without realising, or any number of similar anxieties, but the point is that it becomes an anxious fixation because the person finds it so repellant. It's such an incredibly common ocd symptom, but most people are understandably terrified to talk about it

I remember reading a study where a therapist was helping people with similar anxieties - though not involving children - work through them. One client said she was afraid she was going to murder the therapist, not that she wanted to but that she'd somehow lose control of herself or an accident would happen. The solution? The therapist brought a kitchen knife to an appointment (with the patients consent), handed it to her and basically said "okay, what now?" Turns out nothing now, nothing happened, and it helped the client deal with the phobia

Obviously that approach isn't workable with something like pedophilia/csa anxiety but I think it highlights the true nature of what the anxiety actually is. It's irrational anxiety that comes from a deep fear and disgust of csa, not a desire to perpetrate it