All Stories Are Eternal

Sometimes the only way to win is to be the one who takes the fall. .

[sugar-petals]

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves

[advanced-passenger-train]

Does anybody know how to fix it

[rosslynpaladin]

Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.

Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.

[alwaysbeenjessica]

lets move!

[ingridverse]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Oh, dear. I can't reblog that fast enough.

[garcavisconde]

Losing my mind over this article

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

Discussions of trans women in sports often focus on elite/professional sports which honestly I find it hard to care about but the more common scenario of “we’re going to legally ban a high school girl from playing sports with her friends because she’s trans” is just profoundly evil

[zzzucker]

i remember when utah's (republican) governor ended up vetoing a law banning transgender students from playing high school sports when he looked at the numbers, and there were only four trans students in the state playing sports at all. he released a clumsily worded but surprisingly compassionate statement about the decision.

I must admit, I am not an expert on transgenderism. I struggle to understand so much of it, and the science is conflicting. When in doubt, however, I always try to err on the side of kindness, mercy, and compassion. I also try to get proximate, and I am learning so much from our transgender community. They are great kids who face enormous struggles. Here are the numbers that have most impacted my decision: 75,000, 4, 1, 86 and 56. 75,000 high school kids participating in high school sports in Utah. 4 transgender kids playing high school sports in Utah. 1 transgender student playing girls sports. 86% of trans youth reporting suicidality. 56% of trans youth having attempted suicide. Four kids and only one of them playing girls sports. That’s what all of this is about. Four kids who aren’t dominating or winning trophies or taking scholarships. Four kids who are just trying to find some friends and feel like they are a part of something. Four kids trying to get through each day. Rarely has so much fear and anger been directed at so few. I don’t understand what they are going through or why they feel the way they do. But I want them to live.

of course, it didn't amount to much. they overrode his veto. it's just so cartoonishly evil. an entire state's political body so desperate to terrorize this one little trans girl.

[a-wizard]

What do you mean you can’t find a job? Have you looked on Indeed? What about Linkedin? You should try Upwork. How about Rise? Have you tried Jobera? Take a look on Dribbble. You GOTTA be on Jooble, dude. Get on Jooble. Jooble has it for you.

[jackabbot]

[catchymemes]

[charlesoberonn]

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

[charlesoberonn]

To anybody asking if the Amish are a cult, the answer is yes, very much so.

They’re a high control group that isolate you from society. The cult decides how you dress, how you behave, who you marry and how. They control what you know, blocking all information from the outside world. They control how you feel and what you’re allowed to think with threats of both social and supernatural harm. They’re a cult.

[charlesoberonn]

The best method to determine if a group is a cult, in my opinion, is Steven Hassan’s (cult expert and former cult member himself) BITE model.

BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.

The more points a group “scores” on the model, the more of a cult it is.

I think this model is the best one for several reasons:

It’s more nuanced than “cult” or “not cult” and doesn’t make false equivalences between groups

It’s versatile, applying to groups big and small, and cults of all kinds, religious, political, financial, etc.

It focuses on what’s important, which is what the cult does to its members, and those members’ experiences, and not on irrelevant details like how uncommon their doctrines are or whether they have a charismatic leader

[charlesoberonn]

This is a great example of Thought Control used by cults whenever they’re confronted with criticism.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

#you might notice that there are a lot of similarities between cult techniques and those of abusive partners#and that is an important thing to be aware of

yah that goes in the post

[charlesoberonn]

The creator of the BITE Model considers abusive relationships to be two-person cults.

[forgotn1]

It’s important to note that almost every sect of evangelical christianity in the US today fails the BITE Model.

[alp-crispy]

This was the post that lead to breaking my JW mindset. Been a while since I seen it.

[charlesoberonn]

I’m glad I could help in your deconstruction, if only a little bit. I wish you all the luck in your journey moving forward.

[political-us]

[ghostseeds]

Inside America’s Quiet Safety Revolution: How Local Leaders Are Cutting Crime Without More Cops

While national rhetoric leans on fear and force, mayors in cities like Chicago, Baltimore, and Birmingham are reducing homicides through dat

[snowfireblues]

I need more news like this

[just-your-average-tangerine]

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[just-your-average-tangerine]

My mom tells stories of skipping school to sneak across the border and spend the day at a bar in Mexico. I was threatened with not being allowed to graduate because of senior ditch day. One of my friends had to go to his first hour class on senior ditch day because the teacher, who almost exclusively taught seniors, arranged a huge exam that day with no available makeup days, specifically to punish kids who took part in ditch day. Our wild and crazy ditch day was playing mini golf and then stopping for ice cream on our way back to one of our friends' houses to play cards against humanity.

Don't get me wrong, we had fun. But all of that, threats of not graduating, threats of failing classes over a single test, over some mini golf and ice cream?

Throughout high school and early in college, my friend group got kicked out of malls, stores, and even a parking lot just for being there wrong. Not being loud of disruptive. Not causing problems. Just being there too long, or without buying anything.

My mom graduated high school, after repeating her senior year, without a single grade above a D, and was offered a full ride scholarship to a state university to play on their women's football team. I had a 3.8 GPA, multiple extracurriculars, a summer job, and over 100 hours of volunteer work, and barely got into that same university, and then couldn't afford to go there anyway.

We've made getting into college so important and yet so difficult that kids are sacrificing their childhoods for it.

Then they become adults and it doesn't go away. Your employer/ potential employers are searching your social media and internet presence so you'd better hope no one has ever posted a picture of you at a party, or with alcohol, or wearing revealing clothes, or whatever else they've deemed unprofessional. And if you want to go out it's a 10 dollar cover and drinks are at least 8 dollars, and you need to tip if there's any kind of live entertainment, who can afford to do all that regularly?

My physical therapist, when I was 18, told me about his 21st birthday, how the last thing he remembers is people taking body shots off him. I spent my 21st birthday alone, was in bed by 10pm because I had to be at work the next morning. My boss had already told me that they knew it was my 21st, and if I called out, she'd write me up for improper use of sick leave because you're not allowed to use sick leave for a hangover. I don't know anyone whose 21st birthday was a big deal. No one went out and partied for it.

I dont really know where I'm going with all of this. I guess I just don't understand the point of it all. We spend our youth working hard to provide a future that we still can't afford. We have to be responsible and professional as teenagers. And we get nothing out of it. We can't afford life or friends or fun. At least our parents got to have fun being young and dumb, we just got groomed on kik.

[just-your-average-tangerine]

So I'm not the only one noticing this. I wish I had an answer or at least something to say about it. But I dont. I'm just tired.

[elfwreck]

The shrinking world of childhood free-ranging

I kept the photo below for years, just in case one day I could find a good reason to use it as an illustration of what is going on with…

Original report (waybacked PDF) is from 2007. That's Gen Z kids.

When I, Gen-Xer, was about 12 - in my rural home, I had about a three-mile range. (Could've pushed it to more, but didn't want to walk that far.) In the city, it was about a mile. Not that anyone was checking; again, that was about the distance I wanted to walk, and besides, that covered all of "downtown."

My kids? Closer to that 300 yards limit at the same age. Not because I wanted to restrict them, but we live next to a freeway on-ramp and between two sets of train tracks... and there is absolutely nothing kid-friendly within a half-mile for them to visit.

I spent my 21st birthday bar-hopping. My kids spent their 21st birthdays at home with a nice meal. I don't think either of them wanted to go bar-hopping - but yeah, as a society, we've removed a LOT of teen-friendly options.

See also: End of Third Places, switch from video game arcades to home consoles (hey, then every kid has to buy their own copy--great for game-makers!), shutdown of malls or restrictions on youth at them, closure of public parks, reduced/removed after-school programs, etc. Plus the places that think it's illegal for a 12-year-old to walk to the corner store unsupervised.

I am, however, DELIGHTED to hear that the booze & other vices industries are panicking over Gen Z not going out to party. Like, you spent 30-odd years removing all the places and ways people can hang out together and have fun outside of someone's personal house, and... guess what, when people hit milestone events (graduation, milestone birthdays, job promotion, whatever), they don't immediately flock to the Party Zone that they have never been welcome at. How shocking.

It sucks that Gen Z does not get to party, does not have good celebration options. REALLY sucks that that's often because school or job has decided to tell them not to celebrate, rather than just not having places to go. I'm just not upset over party capitalism taking a hit.

[entamewitchlulu]

oh yeah as a teen librarian also this is so fucking real. like, i was a square so i didn't do anything anyways as a teen, but i did notice that people didn't really....do much when i was in high school.

and nowadays?? we've made the bar so fucking high for these kids. i participated in this mock interview program as an interviewer guest from the library, where seniors would get a chance to pretend interview for a job with me to get some experience before they entered the workforce.

and my god. the resumes on these kids. they're pumped full of sports, arts, extracurriculars, awards, volunteer work, like 60% of them had already had at least one job, and at least 2 of them had already started their own fucking businesses.

like. i'm impressed of course, overall this isn't a terrible thing. but when do these kids get to take a break? when do ANY of us get to take a break?? we have made society so back-breaking that 15 year olds are starting businesses while they run the student council, attend five clubs, volunteer on the weekends, and do ever increasing mountains of homework to maintain a 4.0 GPA.

Like again. I was a fucking square in school. I had all A's in everything and i did extracurriculars, i even did some volunteer work here and there. but mostly i went home, i read books for fun, i went rambling in the woods near my house for no particular reason. i chilled out with my friends and doodled pictures and wrote piles of fanfiction. i spent so much time in high school just...relaxing and playing.

when are these kids getting time to do that, between all the stuff we expect of them? where are these kids getting the space to do that as we continue to push them out of every single physical space, because teens hanging out in a gaggle of friends is somehow threatening?

why are we expecting this much out of kids, out of young adults, while we refuse to offer even a fraction of what our parents and grandparents were given for a fraction of the work we're putting in?

we're running ourselves into the fucking ground. and for fucking what?

[k-wame]

[cricketcat9]

As a 76 y/o with two marriages and a good number of relationships behind me, I had a good and very approving laugh.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in conversations about sex education for children many people fall back on teaching children to recognize and, hopefully, report predatory behavior as the primary reason why this education is good, and obviously I don't disagree with that! when I educate my 4th-6th students, we spend a significant amount of time talking about boundaries and consent and drilling in to the kids' brains that they do NOT need to tolerate inappropriate touching or other behavior from anyone, not even adults who might try to pressure them into thinking otherwise.

BUT! but but but! I think it's also really important to remember that preparing for the worst case scenario isn't the only reason to educate kids about sexuality and their bodies! kids deserve to enter puberty understanding all of the changes they'll experience, and not just the growing and sweating. it's good for kids to understand the new desires they might start experiencing! it's good to know about intense new crushes and erections and wet dreams and sexual fantasies and masturbation! those things can be really, really scary and confusing for young people who don't have any framework to understand them, and it's really easy to feel like you're doing something dirty and inappropriate if no one has told you that sexual pleasure and curiosity is normal, healthy, and good.

good sex ed should help students feel comfortable and safe expressing their sexuality! that's crucial!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

deleted a reply that was like "yes for teens, but not for CHILDREN!!!" and I need to be so clear

biology doesn't give about what arbitrary age you've decided is appropriate for people to have this information. biology doesn't give a shit.

most kids are experiencing puberty by the time they're 13. trust me, they've noticed. they're sweating more, getting acne, growing breasts and body hair, getting their periods and bonded and wet dreams. one of my favorite students I've ever had was a very brave fifth grader who shared his experience about being confused and startled by his first ejaculations with the class, despite being visibly nervous and embarrassed to do so, because he was so relieved to learn that it was a normal thing he had experienced.

a lot of those kids already know they aren't cis and/or straight, well before they're teenagers. some of them aren't lucky enough to have support at home, at school, or with their friends. some of them are getting bullied. some of them already know that puberty is extra uncomfortable for them because it's giving them a body that feels hostile and wrong.

lots of those kids are masturbating! it's extremely developmentally normal for children, and even toddlers, to touch their genitals because it feels nice. they already know about sexual pleasure, even if they're lacking a wider understanding than "it feels good when I do this."

I know it's makes lot of people uncomfortable to think about, but human being don't become sexual creatures on our thirteenth birthday or when we turn eighteen or at any other constructed milestone. children have sexual thoughts and feelings and behavior because a lot of humans have those things and children are humans. they deserve education that acts like it.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Fun fact: I and other childhood sexual abuse survivors have spoken about the trend in our stories of "for those of us who were displaying outwardly/visibly sexual behaviors at a young age, often the only people who didn't treat this as monstrous or morally wrong on its face were the people who later abused us, at which point our pre-existing sexuality (whether or not that existing sexuality was tied to previous sexual abuse) was then treated as an explanation/excuse for why it was inevitable that we would be sexually abused, both by our abusers and by the people who already thought of our existing sexuality as wrong"

Essentially, there is a tendency to victim-blame survivors for how they wound up in abusive circumstances by pointing to how we were already "inappropriately sexual" as children. But sexually expressive or preferential behavior is normal in everyone, including children, and it does not inherently follow that sexual acts are safe or appropriate for them.

It wasn't safe or appropriate for me to find myself in sexually displaying acts for adults as a teen, and that is no less true for the fact that I was already interested in and engaging in sexually expressive and preferential behaviors like masturbation, queer crushes, sensation play, etc. But because I did those things, many adults who thought themselves Good People told me I couldn't expect anything less than active abuse for continuing to exist as an independent, sexually expressive/preferential child. They told me I should know better than to be those things or discuss them because then adults wouldn't be able to help themselves or would be reasonable to see it as an invitation.

As an adult, it is viscerally obvious to me that this threat was a loaded one.

Even if it WAS an invitation, it is incumbant upon adults to know better than to accept that invitation. Even if those adults were right, something unacceptable and awful had happened and it wasn't my fault.

Even if they were right, I'd still been abused, so why should I trust for a moment their assertion that I was at fault?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

thank you very much for this addition 🩷

[averyterrible]

this is what a healthy industry looks like

[averyterrible]

#I... ok#so they're... all Paying each other#where does the new money come from?

[yorhaw]

[ambidisastrous]

every major structural social problem right now is basically "we don't have enough skilled workers on the ground" and the reason is always "well we've been intentionally underpaying and understaffng them for decades to increase corporate profits" and somehow the news always just mentions the "shortage" without digging into the cause

air travel is a mess? shortage of air traffic controllers - for some mysterious reason

logistics a mess? shortage of truck drivers - for some mysterious reason

public transit can't meet demand? shortage of bus drivers - for some mysterious reason

We even mysteriously have shortages of doctors, nurses, teachers... FOR SOME MYSTERIOUS REASON

FUCKING PAY PEOPLE AND HIRE ENOUGH STAFF

[depsidase]

[chekhovs-slinky]

“We didn’t have all this autism when I was a kid”

Yea, you had changelings and demonic possession and “brats” and “back talk”, and kids that were “not all there”, your aunt who’s “crazy”, and your second cousin no one ever talks about cuz he’s “special”, and if you’re fucking lucky, your elder uncle who lives a nice quiet life with his 70 lego sets and writes grocery stores about changing the light bulbs cuz they’re too harsh.

[fridakahloblvd]

not to put this user on blast, but ohmygod this may be the funniest thing i’ve ever seen 😭😭

[communist-hatsunemiku]

I think being autistic has made me realize how extremely hostile the environments we have designed are. And I don't mean "this environment is uniquely hostile to me because I am autistic" I mean that even normies are just existing in brutal, stagnant spaces, they have just internalized them as normal. We could have it all, we could live in such a beautiful and fascinating world, designed by humans and for humans who actually enjoy life and it's complexity and wonder. but even now it's like, seen as kinda hippy-dippy bullshit to have "excessive" indoor plants in a workspace or something

[doctoraxiom]

There's a level of abstraction to "autism exists on a spectrum" that most people don't realize- most "neurotypical" adults will exhibit autistic behaviours when sufficiently overstressed.

Just because their threshold for certain stressors are an order of magnitude higher doesn't mean that the stressors are not there.

We could build a kinder world which minimizes the stressors and maximizes the access to calming environments if we were just more conscious of it.

Disability advocacy builds a better world for everyone, it's important to remember this is the case for neurodivergence as well.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Irt you tags, you did not miss my point at all! Disability advocacy builds a better world for everyone! Like literally!

[beemovieerotica]

every time I see some bigshot scientist revealed as a fraud my knee-jerk reaction is "hell yeah elisabeth bik got 'em good" AND IM RIGHT

PubPeer enables scientists to search for their publications or their peers publications and provide feedback and/or start a conversation ano

SHE NEVER QUITS!!!!

ICONIC!!!!

[beemovieerotica]

> Elisabeth Bik is on patreon <

She is not directly paid for her work to vet papers, she has been hit with legal action & death threats by scientists who hate that she's exposing them and their financial fraud, and she keeps at it every single day, combing through thousands of papers to make science more fair. Please consider supporting her!

[chiknluvr]

actually beautiful

About

Elisabeth Bik is a renowned microbiologist and science integrity advocate known for detecting image duplication in scientific publications.