a long way off and covered up

nikki, she/her, monster girl. daydreams about fruit, moves a lot. blog content arbitrary.

[jhoomwrites]

which do you prefer?

ebook

paperback

hardcover

audiobook

Remaining time: 2 days 6 hours

[earlgreytea68]

Let me tell you, I've taken lots of vacations by myself, and I've also taken lots of vacations with other people, and by far vacationing solo is the easiest, most stress-free vacation you can imagine. There's some kind of societal stigma against this. Ignore this. Vacationing by yourself is amazing. There is zero negotiation or compromise. You do exactly what you want to do when you want to do it. You eat whatever you want to eat, whenever you want to eat it. You pursue whatever tourist attraction you want, or none at all. It is the purest release from all obligations and responsibilities. You don't need to worry about whether anyone else is walking faster than you or slower than you and you've lost them in a crowd, did they want to do something different, have you railroaded them into doing what you want to do?

And it's easier to buy solo tickets to things. It's easier to squeeze into crowded bars. Everything about it is just so incredibly relaxing. Don't let society talk you out of it. It's obviously good to socialize and have friends and family who you want to hang out with and see, etc., etc., and it's okay if traveling solo just doesn't appeal to you at all. I'm just saying, I was just on vacation with people, and I had a great time, but we were out to dinner at the hotel restaurant and at the table next to us was a woman by herself having a glass of wine and eating spinach and artichoke dip for dinner while she read a novel and I was just like, honestly, I know that kind of dinner and it's so great lol. If you've ever wondered what it's like to travel solo, it's like that: dip for dinner and a glass of wine and a book lol

[antiphon]

Different but connected point, I went on a trip with a friend last summer (had a good time!) and one thing I noticed was how rarely and briefly I was ever in conversation with other people. It could for sure be at least partly a function of where we went, but I think it was also that we made our own group. I'm not a person who easily strikes up conversations with others, though I'll enter into them when invited, but often (not always, but often!) on a solo trip, my aloneness has a notable exception of, like, getting adopted by a group of friendly queers at a drag show, or being invited in by a small-town stranger who sees I've been caught in the rain on my bike trip and having dinner with him and his one English-speaking neighbor, or being invited to a family barbecue by the person I'm renting a room from, or being taken on an excursion by a couple people my age who are excited to show off local music. I'm talking about things more extensive than a few questions at a bar or in the street--stuff that introduces a whole new activity into the trip or fundamentally changes the tenor of one.

I've had conversations like this while traveling with others--at least once with the same friend. Sticking out makes it more likely too. (So does bar-going, probably, if you don't take a book.) But even so, it seems to me thinking it over since last summer that being solo has been a factor. I think my solo trips have had proportionally more of this, and I think that makes sense! It's different to gesture for one weird drenched cyclist who's looking at a sign in confusion to follow you to your house than a pair who are discussing what to do; a person who's at the drag show with a friend is a person a very social and slightly drunk DJ has less reason to approach.

Anyway, obvious exception to this is if you (like me) are not the sort of person who strikes up conversations with everybody and you travel with someone who is, or perhaps if you are unlikely to enter into this kind of thing unless you have someone (like me) around who's willing to respond to most strangers like they probably aren't creepy or threatening (barring evidence or vibes to the contrary! but the decision to split from a place bc this dude is asking you overly personal questions is not one that staying local can prevent you needing to make!). And this sort of thing won't appeal to everyone on every trip. But it's completely in line with what OP says about solo traveling being stress-free and all your choice: when to engage and when not to is still totally your call.

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[booksandchainmail]

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

[gobusto]

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

[computationalcalculator]

[pansylair]

A great place to donate to First Nations groups impacted by the ongoing wildfires 👇

True North Aid provides practical humanitarian support to northern and remote Indigenous communities in Canada through community-led project

Also consider Mikinakoos' as they're extending support beyond their traditional service areas due to the scale of this emergency!

Donations for Namaygoosisagagun First Nation:

Individuals who support the goals and vision of AN7GC can make a donation. The ways to donate: call us, mail your donation, use Paypal or Ca

Donations for Whitesand First Nation:

[brarchives]

iemanjá: winy fabiano by márvila araújo

[helloelicia]

Sue Tilley was 35 years old and working in a London employment office when she disrobed and let British artist Lucian Freud paint her in the nude. On Wednesday, one of Freud’s four nude portraits of her sold at Sotheby’s London for $39 million, the third-highest auction price for the artist.

“Mona Lisa wasn’t alive when she became famous—but I am,” Tilley said of the interest in her 1995-96 portrait, “Sleeping by the Lion Carpet.”

(I don't have a subscription to WSJ but I'll link the whole article anyway.)

[iphigenesis]

in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)

[raina-at]

Well, famously they can't actually afford London housing, that's the whole reason they met.

[neat-deadandlive-things]

What is "walking distance" to you? (provided that the weather is okay)

Less than 5 minutes.

Less than 15 minutes.

Less than 30 minutes.

Less than 1 hour.

Depends on... add a tag.

other/I'm not canadian and don't measure distance in time.

Voting ended onJul 15

[sotrias-labyrinth-deactivated20]

I feel like ODD being an official disorder in the DSM should be the thing that makes everyone go “hm” about how psychology is practiced

[txttletale]

[looking a child directly in the eye] i diagnose you with Shitty Bitch Syndrome. this makes it legal to do medieval german tortures to you by the way

[cringepics]

cmon man

[picklepuffin]

Hi I have an undergrad psych degree! I also have ADHD! In my motherfucking TEXTBOOK, the authors said, “Research describes ADHD as a neurodevelopmental disorder in the same vein as Autism. We are putting the (miniscule) section on ADHD in the same chapter as ODD, though, because we believe really these disorders both boil down to ✨️ people not doing what we tell them to because they are lazy✨️”

So my actual TEXTBOOK admitted that it was biased and teaching these disorders based on opinion and not up to date research. And, as described above, the section on ODD was basically just, “these are bad kids. We will not look into why or how or what comorbidities exist and we will also not be exploring the possibility of ODD really being a manifestation of trauma/undiagnosed adhd/autism/pathological demand avoidance/persistent drive for autonomy. We will however be mostly focusing on how annoying these kids are to their parents and teachers ✨️”

It’s fucking crazy. “Yeah we know lots of people with autism struggle to follow demands. They may either ignore/not register demands or have meltdowns when demands are placed. They may engage in physical aggression, verbal aggression, and property desctruction when directed to complete tasks or be exposed to uncomfortable sensory input. They may need to know the why behind demands and consequently argue with authority figures. They may be easily upset by sensory input or social interactions and have emotional outbursts when pushed beyond their limits. Some children with autism seek attention and may engage in maladaptive behaviors to elicit the attention of peers and caregivers if positive attention is not given freely/if they are ignored when behaving appropriately. All of these are symptoms of their underlying neurological differences and should be met with compassion and understanding. They are not bad children. Their brains process information differently and therefore they have executive functioning, sensory processing, and emotional regulation challenges that cause these behaviors.

Those kids over there? Yeah they have all the same symptoms but they are just Morally Wrong and Bad Children. They have Oppositional Defiance Disorder. How can I tell? Well that one hand flaps and that one doesn’t.”

[brightlotusmoon]

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

How would you even measure that?

Things adults wrongly identify as arguing:

Asking for clarification

Asking any kind of question

defending yourself

answering a question teh adult has just asked you

breathing

Existing

Oh, also:

Race and the Mental Representation of Individuals Diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Implications for Diagnosis

Results: Classification images (CIs) showed that the children selected as having ODD appeared more prototypically Black in facial appearance than children not chosen as having ODD. No differences emerged in the gendered appearance of the two group-level CIs. Judged rates of ODD were higher for the children who appeared to be Black. However, diagnostic judgments of clinical trainees and practitioners were unaffected by appearance factors, suggesting that formal clinical training might attenuate the influence of stereotypes on judgment. Discussion: These results indicate that an overlap in Black stereotypes and diagnostic criteria for ODD might contribute to elevated diagnosis of ODD in African American children.

[whereserpentswalk]

Overwhelmingly Black diagnosis.

Pathologizes problems with authority to dismiss them as irrational.

Drapetomania - Wikipedia

[antiphon]

I'm sure this has been said plenty but I want to take that "argues with adults" point one step further: whether it's seen as a problem for you to argue with adults is itself severely race- and class-coded. some of us who were white and whose parents own their houses were encouraged to say so when we disagreed, even as children. I was like twelve when I learned the phrase "talking back" existed, and I still don't know what it means because I have heard it too infrequently to figure it out from context clues (I suspect also because it's not very consistent and means saying whatever that particular adult doesn't want to hear). these kids often have parents and other caregivers with more free time to ask them one-on-one what they think about things and parents who were not raised with super hierarchical senses of authority themselves. my grandpa would bait us into arguments to get us chatting! (still does; I still play along.) I had a couple teachers who complained about my attitude, and my teacher mom was polite to them but is explicit in my adulthood that she didn't take that very seriously. but because I went to schools that weren't trying to train me up to be a good compliant little factory worker, there were only like two of those. asking why, saying so when you disagree and expecting to be listened to, if you come from that background are expected, encouraged, and completely compatible with "student is a pleasure to have in class." under which circumstances I bet a kid acts a lot less resentful, easily annoyed, temper-losing, defiant, and spiteful! those are natural outcomes of demanding a kid not be a person.

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[librarycards]

i think fat girls should walk around in crop tops booty shorts buzzcuts dyed hair piercings no bra killing and maiming all who stand in their way with weapons before sitting down for some yummy ice cream and so forth. it's the only way.

[berlynn-wohl]

Me in 2006: I’m still bitter about that

Me in 2016: I’m still salty about that

Me in 2026, probably: I’m still umami about that

[quasi-normalcy]

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

[liebelesbe]

june is over... goodbye pride month, hello disability pride month!!

[liebelesbe]

let's all be disabled this month... together 🤝

[liebelesbe]

if you're not disabled yet: no need to worry! i can help. come closer.

[alphacrone]

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#kneadless comment