Antu

Esp & Eng | 📖 | 🎶 | 🐾 | 📷 | 🎨 | ✌️ | 💕 | Comparto lo que sea que me guste y sienta en el momento | Me trying to be better | Instagram: @antu-artt

[antu-artt]

Te extraño, Alo 😪

No sé cómo decírtelo 😮‍💨

[antu-artt]

Me: I need and I want to do it right now. I know I can!

My body: No, my dear 🫸. I won't get you to move, not even an arm.

😩😩😩

[antu-artt]

Right now, I'm not well.

Everything hurts

Who else?

Ig: @antu_artt

Everything hurts.

Opening up.

Not opening up.

Being sad.

And smile.

The only state when I'm calm and functional is when I feel numb.

I think I'm dying on the inside.

I'm not me anymore.

𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐮 ♥︎

Ig: @antu_artt

[antu-artt]

Do I feel affection for them?

IG: @antu_artt

Does anyone else has ever felt like this before?

Lately I'm having this difficult situations with my parents, which make myself to cry until fall asleep because unfair things happen. But I think this will be a topic for another time.

Right now, due to a conversation with my mother, I'm more aware that I don't show much love to them. And when I do, I realized that one of my love languages is giving gifts. Which I don't usually do because currently I'm not earning money.

Another love language I have are words of affirmation. Which, also, is difficult for me to say them. Even to my friends, to whom I just text. I know this is because, in general, it's complicated for me to show love, again. To demonstrate my feelings (you know, childhood wounds). But I make an effort for them, however not for my parents.

And THERE is the problem. It's like I can't, I just can't say to them: "I love you". Or just a simple: "How are you?". It's so fucking hard to bring those words out of me.

And I think one of the reasons why is so hard is because I feel resentment towards them. I can't help it. I have been working on that, but I think there'll be a long path yet. The patterns still repeating and it won't change because my parents are just them. I frecuently feel hurt again and again, even when I do know I can't expect anything else from them.

So my feelings towards them are so fucking frustrating. I think I do. I do feel affection for them. I mean, they are my parents. I know they have done a lot for me. But the way I am plus the resentment I keep on them make hard for me to feel or demonstrate affection.

So that's it. I made this fast illustration, very different to what I'm used to doing, because I needed to clear the mind. Not just with a drawing, but with words too.

Tell me if you also had a difficult relationship with your parents and if maybe could relate to the illustration or my thoughts.

Sending you a big hug 🫂💞 and wonderful vibes for the rest of the week 💖.

𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐮 ♥︎

IG: @antu_artt

[antu-artt]

Here´s another version :)

[antu-artt]

Do I feel affection for them?

IG: @antu_artt

Does anyone else has ever felt like this before?

Lately I'm having this difficult situations with my parents, which make myself to cry until fall asleep because unfair things happen. But I think this will be a topic for another time.

Right now, due to a conversation with my mother, I'm more aware that I don't show much love to them. And when I do, I realized that one of my love languages is giving gifts. Which I don't usually do because currently I'm not earning money.

Another love language I have are words of affirmation. Which, also, is difficult for me to say them. Even to my friends, to whom I just text. I know this is because, in general, it's complicated for me to show love, again. To demonstrate my feelings (you know, childhood wounds). But I make an effort for them, however not for my parents.

And THERE is the problem. It's like I can't, I just can't say to them: "I love you". Or just a simple: "How are you?". It's so fucking hard to bring those words out of me.

And I think one of the reasons why is so hard is because I feel resentment towards them. I can't help it. I have been working on that, but I think there'll be a long path yet. The patterns still repeating and it won't change because my parents are just them. I frecuently feel hurt again and again, even when I do know I can't expect anything else from them.

So my feelings towards them are so fucking frustrating. I think I do. I do feel affection for them. I mean, they are my parents. I know they have done a lot for me. But the way I am plus the resentment I keep on them make hard for me to feel or demonstrate affection.

So that's it. I made this fast illustration, very different to what I'm used to doing, because I needed to clear the mind. Not just with a drawing, but with words too.

Tell me if you also had a difficult relationship with your parents and if maybe could relate to the illustration or my thoughts.

Sending you a big hug 🫂💞 and wonderful vibes for the rest of the week 💖.

𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐮 ♥︎

IG: @antu_artt

[antu-artt]

✨️✨️✨️

[antu-artt]

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅... 𝒇𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏🌙.

Ig: @antu_artt

As an introvert, shy, anxious and any other adjectives that refers to a person who feels uncomfortable around people and prefers to be alone (an overthinker too), there are moments when you completely want to shut up your mind and dissappear from existence to finally rest.

I had one of those moments in my last semester of university and the first picture came to my mind. Tried to draw it back then, but couldn't because of lack of time and stress.

I remember I wanted to escape, fly away from this world and be in a complete dark room with a view to the night sky. Thinking in absolutely nothing, but just how beautiful the stars and the moon look from there bellow. Honestly, just escape from all my responsabilities, from life indeed.

Then the third image came up. As I wanted to escape, going to a peaceful and lonely place was what I wished for. So the moon came up. Don't know about you, but I love watching the moon. It has these mysterious and mistic vibes, and it's beautiful and calm as well. Feels like a spot to go when you're feeling lost and lonely. So, utopically, that would be my dream place.

And the stars... I love to look at them too. Here, they seem to make a little noise for what I wanted to express. But the stars are a good view for hope too.

Didn't know exactly how to name these illustrations. I have 2 words: "escape" and "take off". The first one is what I wanted to communicate, the concept behind it all. But "take off" sounds like an action with intention, a decision, to try to change a little bit of your life for the better. So yeah, well, I think I will leave this hesitation to you too 😆🫶

Hope you have a beautiful day and hope this illustrations and messages resonates with you so you know you're not alone ❤️

Tell me where would be that dream place to escape, tell me if you also love the night sky, tell me what you first think when you saw this illustration, or tell me whatever you want to talk about to of this post 💗

Sending you the best vibes ✨️💓

𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐮 ♥︎

Ig: @antu_artt

Related song for a better experience ❤️ and the lyrics is ✨️

[antu-artt]

Mi mamá siempre diciendo: "Yo soy la mala de la película"

Y yo siempre negando para no lastimarla.

Pero sabes qué? SÍ, SIIII. Y mi cabeza hace cortocircuito porque eres tanto la buena, como la mala de la película. Siendo mi madre.

De no serlo, estoy segura que me alejaría de una persona como tú.

[antu-artt]

✨️ Process ✨️

[antu-artt]

I don't need a cure for me 🎶✨️❤️‍🩹

[antu-artt]

✨️ Inspiration ✨️

[antu-artt]

Increíble como la mente te juega una mala pasada...

Tú dices: "Vamos a dejar de pensar en esa persona" 😉. Y tu mente dice: "Vamos a soñar con esa persona" 😼🤧.

Ya estoy hartaaa 😭😭😭. Quiero dejar de pensar en él, quiero que ya se acaben las clases para olvidarme. Quiero dejar de sentirme tan ansiosa alrededor y quiero dejar de darle tanto peso a algo que no va a pasar 😮‍💨. Estoy cansada. Mucho estrés y ansiedad con la cual seguir lidiando, no puedo 😔

[antu-artt]

Ay no, ahora me pasó algo peor: me puse roja en frente 🤗🤧

Mis días van de mejor a mejor 🤗🥲

[antu-artt]

No ideas 😫...

[antu-artt]

Increíble como la mente te juega una mala pasada...

Tú dices: "Vamos a dejar de pensar en esa persona" 😉. Y tu mente dice: "Vamos a soñar con esa persona" 😼🤧.

Ya estoy hartaaa 😭😭😭. Quiero dejar de pensar en él, quiero que ya se acaben las clases para olvidarme. Quiero dejar de sentirme tan ansiosa alrededor y quiero dejar de darle tanto peso a algo que no va a pasar 😮‍💨. Estoy cansada. Mucho estrés y ansiedad con la cual seguir lidiando, no puedo 😔

[anxietyproblem]

[antu-artt]

🤣🤣🤣

[antu-artt]

Ayer me dio una crisis horrible por el curso de siempre.

Quisiera salir hoy y desaparecer, olvidarme de todo, incluso de quién soy.

[antu-artt]

Tdv me duele la cabeza de tanto llorar, a pesar que he dormido como 13 horas seguidas 🙁.

Lo peor es que tdv tmb tengo ganas de llorar. Soy este gif...

[antu-artt]

Ayer me dio una crisis horrible por el curso de siempre.

Quisiera salir hoy y desaparecer, olvidarme de todo, incluso de quién soy.