Apalone

I'm an adult called Blue. I have a Hetalia sideblog. I put absurdism, hopecore, and touchgrass-ism in a blender and wish for the best

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[kaijudick]

honestly i think it's so funny when doctors are like. know the RISKS of taking T. you will have MOOD SWINGS and become a VIOLENT and UNCONTROLLABLE creature who HOWLS at the MOON. it will turn you GAY. like i hate to say it guys but youve just invented male hysteria

[emil]

HISteria ♂️💯

[caztiel]

[ultraluuminary]

[roookspirit]

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[itseasytoremember]

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

[gh0st-patr0l]

Wrestlers ar WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

POST CANCELLED. THE GOLF COURSE ACROSS THE STREET BLEW UP

[gh0st-patr0l]

HELLO????

[puppybeargf]

[prettyboysinpain]

And I’d do it again

[peonycats]

comment where you think miku will go in the wake of the brazil x japan divorce

[hapalopus]

Scandinavians when outdoor string lights were invented

[hapalopus]

Scandinavian trees from October to March:

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Before this we would mostly just set things on fire to keep our spirits up

[useless-denmarkfacts]

Scandinavians before outdoor string lights were invented:

[ryan-sometimes]

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

[arschfrech]

[ryan-sometimes]

I know his tailor is stressed bro look at this man wearing a suit to fix a pothole

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[icebear4president]

Every time a man comments on the video of a woman athlete saying it ‘was the wind’ or it ‘was a lucky shot’, they should be legally made to do the exact same thing, film it, and let everyone make fun of them when they can’t do it.

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[thekalpar]

I see a lot of nobles out here who think "Well I have a 10,000 square foot castle, surely that's enough space for a knight." WRONG. Knights are WORKING BREEDS, they need to go on regular quests to prove their fealty and come home horribly wounded. I have seen SO MANY adopted knights DESPONDENT because their liege keeps them cooped up in a castle and won't let them go on quests. If you want an armored warrior who will be happy in your castle you need to get a castellan. They're closely related to the knight breed but adapted to the castle environment.

[raccoonmilf]

I sound so homophobic whenever I talk about keeping bears out of theater spaces I swear I’m talking about Ursus americanus

[raccoonmilf]

My therapist: “Well, you found two different types of beer cheese dip you like already, so even if the are both discontinued, logically speaking, that means you must like different ingredient combos that make beer cheese dip.”

Me: “No. All other beer cheese dips are shit. These are the only two I like and will ever like.”

My therapist: “Here, I will show you the ingredients so you can see that you like different things.”

My therapist: …

Me: …

My therapist: “These two brands have the exact same ingredients. They are exactly the same. This is the same beer cheese in different packaging.”