it's so self-indulgent and self-referential @apparentlyviburnum - Tumblr Blog

Two weeks late with something I volunteered to write and forgot the books to study for my test tomorrow at school, life is going great

#personal #vent #mine #viburnums journalism attempts #viburnums #and I've completely given up on writing one of them #because I remembered I can't write fucking reviews they're so fucking hard how much should you talk about the plot what?#look if I send my article hopefully today knock on wood and they tell me sadly it's too much past the deadline it's not gonna be published #I'll be like understandable have a nice day I am so sorry for being a disappointment #and it's the one day when I don't have a spare hour to study in the morning huh #well I'll just find something on the internet isn't not like I care about biology #anyways

Another year, another drawing of my girl Chasia in the national mourning attire from the 1860s.

Past versions under the cut:

#hetalia #hetalia oc #ocs #oc #historical hetalia #digital art #artists on tumblr #hetalia warsaw #citytalia #capitalia #I have assignments I ought to be working on but she's more important #drawing my little heta guys from polish history is the most patriotic you're gonna get me #another edition of me redrawing my old art #this is 2/3 of it btw #you can see that between 2023 and 24 I learned that you can Google smth and draw with a reference #or my app added the reference function. both could be true #I remember I was super dissatisfied with the last year's drawing because she just looks pissed and she looks like a complete adult #when she's meant to be 15 #but this year I think I achieved that childish face/proportions #and the right amount of pissed and indifferent on her face #man looking at the 2023 is so crazy #I think the further I go the more stable my artstyle will become #why did I think the dorito noses were a good idea? like ever #I seriously just started drawing them like that one day it was not a gradual change #and then I decided actually fuck that

I love being an artist. I love looking at what I have created and admiring that it's a product of my brain, heart and soul. I love redoing something a year later, or just looking back at it and comparing it to current works, and thinking wow, I've come so far. It looks so different. I love refining this vision created in my mind, refining myself to get better at transferring it to the physical world. I love being an artist.

#artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #it applies to both I am both #about art #artist things #teenage artist #i love being an artist #fuck ai art #ai art is not art #ai artists are not artists #mine #viburnums #I'm an atheist but I do have some sort of a vision/spiritual theory #that's very connected to art #idk I should probably write that down one day #you could make a religion out of it #to me love is joy #if I love something I find it joyful I find it makes me happy

Crystal store pins be looking very aspec today

(walks away with suspiciously aspec pins shaped pocket)

#pride month #pride pins #happy pride month #wesołego geja #happy pride 🌈#button pins #aspec pride #lgbqia+#asexual #aromantic #aspec #asexual pride #aromantic pride #the fun thing is I went to take a photo of a pin I saw yesterday #that said “I'm a virgin and I don't drive” with a rainbow flag and I was like damn that's ace af #like it was so random I loved it but it wasn't there when I went there today #but I found those and I got them!#cause what if they're not there the next time I mustn't miss out #I call it crystal store because it sells crystals #among other things it's like oriental/jewelry/crystal/random gadgets/souvenirs #there were also pins that said teen witch and maybe I should get it?#like I'm not really a witch I just kind of like the aesthetic I don't even commit to that #I'm gonna make some art for pride month. I swear I'm just working on art fight references rn because I remembered I made an account #I'm so great at time management

apparentlyviburnum

Yo look what I found!

Bought in tiger! I'm pretty happy to have found them and bought them considering Lublin is what it is. I might even find a way to wear them on my backpack(lol)(my backpack is leather and I'm not sticking pins into it) I also plan to diy a couple pins with the flags, I even bought safety pins and beads, we'll see how that goes!

apparentlyviburnum

Wait I have an idea—

Chat did I cook?

#lgbt pride #pride pins #lgbtg #lgbtqia #pride month #enamel pins #flying tiger #attached the enamel pin to a safety pin attached to my backpack #I'm still a bit anxious about wearing this but people do have pride flag pins at school #maybe I'll just do the flag or the heart

Yo look what I found!

Bought in tiger! I'm pretty happy to have found them and bought them considering Lublin is what it is. I might even find a way to wear them on my backpack(lol)(my backpack is leather and I'm not sticking pins into it) I also plan to diy a couple pins with the flags, I even bought safety pins and beads, we'll see how that goes!

#lgbt pride #pride pins #lgbtg #lgbtqia #pride month #enamel pins #flying tiger #I'm not a big DIY person so I'm not sure how I will do but it might be fun!#I want an aroace one and also probably aro and ace separately #freaky lips #the beads are silver so I will have to paint them #Lublin I love you but you are mad sometimes #just recently I came across some demonstration and people were shouting “we want a catholic Poland free of LGBT ideology”#no the fuck we don't who is we not me and I blasted born this way on my headphones as I went to the crystals store #update from a bit later the beads won't work so I'll have to figure out some other way to make myself pins

To my mutuals, I'm sorry if I don't interact like, at all. I don't really know how to talk to people. I want to say something to you, I want to talk to people but I don't really know what to say. I sometimes start writing something but give up halfway through. I want to talk to you. Know that I send thee my love with likes.

#personal #mine #viburnums #tumblr moots #i love my moots #mutuals #moots #maybe one day I will gather the courage to speak to people #I have exactly one friend at school and I'm not sure how that happened.#do you even like me #how do I speak without making myself sound pathetic about myself

Ohh art art art

My beautiful girl, professional hater, as I once described her in my notes, another fave of mine who has a knife(and by another I mean second but surely more will come up if I analyse it), the only member of her family who would remember to eat if they actually needed it and would never remind them because she only cares about like three people, who would be making nice meals for those three people and those three people only.

My solarballs oc whose story I have been writing for 1.5 years and have promised to a couple people on ao3 already. Moon of Jupiter. Maybe posting this will motivate me to finish it. Idk how much of her lore I should actually post, maybe if someone shows interest I will talk about it.

#ocs #oc #digital art #viburnums #artists on tumblr #original charater art #solarballs oc #Ishtar oc #the lore is heavy on this one #and I'd love to yap but I'm still not sure about yapping unprecedentedly #I mean the fic(if it ever gets finished) is very much my yapping but people would click on it if they wanted to so it's different #I've not watched solarballs in 1.5 year btw like last arc I remember is planet X and like the moon/planet tournament?#like I'm still moderately interested in it(and my ocs) but there is so much catching up I'd have to do #and I have many ideas that probably contradict the current canon(not something I necessarily like doing)#hopefully I will be motivated to finish her story #I'm aroace but also... women. women. lesbiab.#I think you can kind of see it in my designs lol #I should probably post/design some of the ocs I've already written about for context #but. beautiful tiger woman with a knife #this is for my solarballs moot I think you know who you are you are the only one I have #anyways. like I said I might talk about my solarballs ocs more if anyone is interested #I can't draw feet I would usually mark the ankles but their kind of covered by the anklets(golden)those aren't hooves they just look like it

Brother went to the hospital because of his arm hurting to the point where he could barely hold a fork. He comes back at 10pm, I jump, go and ask him, all worried like a good older sister I hopefully am: Johnny, how is your hand, are you okay? He says: we got kebab. Your hand!!! Mixed sauce and meat. YOUR HAND JOHNY NOT THE FUCKING KEBAB I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING KEBAB! it was good.

#mine #viburnums family #viburnums #my brother the ragebaiter I fucking love him #yes is name is unironically Jasio tak jak z żartów #kebab #polishcore #he's fine his arm isn't broken #I love this little shit god has given me to be my brother #(I don't believe in god I'm an atheist)#if he were at least trying to make me jealous like haha we got kebab and you didn't #but I don't eat that so #he knows that he won't ragebait me like this I'm perfectly neutral about him getting a kebab

How I scroll and lay in bed doing nothing knowing I have two articles, two illustrations to said articles, a presentation and a math test coming up.

#mine #personal #viburnums #personal vent #life is great #viburnums journalism attempts #<for the articles #I just don't really feel motivated to anything at all right now... I'm sure that's nothing #maybe I just need to wake up in my own bed at my own time(a fucking weekend)#went to my uncle last weekend so I didn't sleep in my own bed and I didn't sleep till 12 like I like #legs hurt after running in pe and what do you mean we're doing 800meters next week what #or maybe it's the five hours of sleep #not that little it's just that it's this much many nights in a row #articles were deadlined till yesterday haha I've barely written maybe half collectively #I need a full two day period where I can sit down and work on this shit(a weekend without any obligations)#just need get through this week and maybe the next one shit will get easier(I will have less tests)#I've actually started working on the presentation which is good #and then I'll have to listen to some interviews for article number two(quasi movie review but like not really reviewy hence the interviews)

Doomsday prepper x survival instincts of a panda

#ship dynamic #character dynamic #friendship dynamics #platonic dynamics #ship dynamics #relationship dynamics #this is me and who I'm pretty sure is my bestie at this point. not like I have any other friends #she's like you gotta install this app if we lose all electricity and the internet this how we will communicate #and I'm standing there nodding my head smiling and knowing that if that happens I'm committing to bedrotting by a candle #honey I don't use the communicators I have available to me rn communication is far from my biggest concern in this scenerio #this is neither specifically platonic nor romantic btw interpret this as you like

apparentlyviburnum

People claiming that art is apolitical or sports is apolitical in contexts of the Eurovision and the Olympics is funny. Because. Even if they were, which meh, sports maybe more than art but still. Brother. You are having countries compete. You divide your competitors via political structure of countries. You are not gonna get away from politics. Accept it.

#olympics #eurovision #esc #eurovision 2026 #milano cortina 2026 #esc 2026 #art is political #gonna reblog it right now for no reason at all

I'm back to making art and I'm back to reheating old meat(redrawing).

This is this year's edition of Warsaw and Petersburg dancing. Idk why I like this scene so much. They don't even like each other. She doesn't even want to be there. And yet, each time, like a sheep, I come back and make her suffer again.

And those are may 2024 and may 2025. See some improvement maybe?

#hetalia #hetalia oc #ocs #oc #historical hetalia #digital art #artists on tumblr #hetalia warsaw #hetalia Petersburg #it gets more symmetrical every year #and her dress gets less detailed every year which is a shame bc i don't mean to do it #I'm not a minimalist and yet #but hey atleast she looks miserable like she is supposed to #new background is meant to resemble the russian flag btw cause i decided that makes more sense #:3

A reminder to myself that no-one is gonna Kill Me With Hammers if I post something on my own fucking blog that I created with the intent of being posted on. That I am free to post on it without being Killed With Hammers. It's my blog. I own it. I made it. With the purpose of being posted on. I post here. There's nothing to be scared of.

#personal #mine #viburnums #vent #blogging #I can feel my heart beating but like in a weird sorta way #and I don't really like it #and also that I can reply and reblog stuff on this Blog That I Created #kill with hammers #this is also a reminder to anyone else who might need it #stay strong and brave it's a scary world out there

When you're the art kid, they will require you make stuff like birthday cards(and birthday wishes). Even if all you draw is cartoony people and all you write is. Idk actually, main character death on ao3?

That being said, I actually do enjoy those as a challenge. I think I might stick to flowers though.

(first one is for my grandma's 80th birthday recently, second is for my mom and it's got our pets on it!)

#artists on tumblr #traditional art #watercolour #birthday card #teenage artist #young artist #I really like drawing flowers #my art #that is supposed to be a peony

I find the fact that the third of may is not only the anniversary of the Constitution but also the treaty of Oliwa from 1660 to be criminally underrated. Ig we don't need to remember the day dates but even as a funfact. That's awesome.

Since I made Constitution related art last year, it's time for peace of Oliwa now.

#hetalia #hetalia oc #ocs #oc #historical hetalia #digital art #artists on tumblr #hetalia warsaw #Hetalia Gdańsk #hetalia cracow #Hetalia Stockholm #citytalia #capitalia #the Swedish deluge #the deluge #the deluge was the first military conflict that Warsaw really took part in #they were all separated from one another until the very end when everyone ends up back in Gdańsk #Warsaw was with the king for a while then run to fight #Cracow was taken prisoner and so was thorn but he's not here #and Dan was. in Gdańsk under siege #Stockholm's human name is Greta btw #I like her the most in this tbh #she's alone because she's the only one I have a design for #fun fact(about my au)#Dan was the peacekeeper and mediator of the talks at Oliwa because he was the host #but france(who was there bc the irl mediators were french) had to hold him at times from chucking himself at the swedes and stabbing them #eventually Dan begged thori to help. thori is a good mediator(BC of the two thorn peaces) who doesn't try to stab people. be like thori #seriously the poles and Swedes had to be kept in separate rooms and the french would go between them. it was hilarious #I say as if I were there lol #goddamn that's a lotta yapping

The Master and Margarita is truly The Book Of All Times. It's got the devil. The devil has heterochromia and a crew of demons that consist of a really tall guy, a talking giant cat who wasn't allowed to ride a tram by himself and a redhead. Everyone lies to the point you don't know what is real and what is not. Multiple characters go insane and are sent to a mental hospital because of this. There are witches. There is Jesus Christ. It's got artists. Ones who give in to mass culture and ones who do not and are broke(and insane) as a result. The male lead is the insane, broke artist and he doesn't have a name. The title characters show up like halfway through the book, idk, I haven't actually gotten to where margarita shows up yet. There's a ball and everyone is naked. They drink clear spirit. There is social commentary. The main female character is enamoured with her insane artist, loser writer boyfriend and calls him a genius. He thinks she deserves so much more. His book is, if the novel is to be believed, the actual recollection of jesus' last days and death.

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it's so self-indulgent and self-referential