qui!

he/xe, knife enthusiast, hunched over in the back room of work slurping a frozen blue fanta

[aidaughter]

t shirt that says I PUT A NORMAL AMOUNT OF THOUGHT INTO STUFF

[byjove]

have you ever been reading a fic and been like “this one single character’s accent is wrong” like “he might say that but definitely not with those words”

[vinceaddams]

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

[fealty-to-thee]

More characters ending disabled and happy NOW

[byjove]

This post is going to make me sound like a total assole and I preemptively apologize. This is not directed at anyone in particular. Giving music recs to people feels awesome and listening to music recs from people is a miserable experience 85% of the time. I’ll mention a classic song I like and someone will be like “Have you heard The Breadsticks cover of that? It is so good!” and you pull it up and give it a try and it is hot garbage. It is coworker music. It is music you find on a playlist created for a popular YA ship. It is worse than the original by every conceivable metric and you sit back and realize someone thinks this is really good and you don’t want to hurt their feelings so you have no clue how to respond. We all know the phrase ‘you can’t eat at everybody’s house’ but you really cannot listen to everyone’s music recommendations. Especially if it is unprompted. People are just rearing to tell you to listen to some bullshit. And it has nothing to do with how cool the person is, there are some very cool and chill people in this world who unironically listen to Imagine Dragons in their free time. You cannot possibly know if their taste in music is good or horrendous until it is too late and your ears have been subjected to some torment.

[will-gr4ham]

Geeked vs locked in

[ilovebylerandstonathan]

All the credit to @corpsephrog

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[ca314159bara]

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[nyancrimew]

blue raspberry is fucked up cause it doesn't make sense but then u taste it and it Does taste like if a raspberry was blue

[uwillneverknowwho]

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

[ckret2]

getting scambot messages from random accounts that clearly used to be normal active blogs is sad enough. you know that there used to be a real person on that blog until they were tricked into handing their password to the digital fae.

but it's an entirely new level of tragic when somebody you've actually spoken to gets turned into a bot account. it's like peeking at a zombie apocalypse through the window and realizing one of the shambling corpses was your friend.

and then the zombie catches sight of you, lurches up to your window, and shouts through the glass that they accidentally reported your account to tumblr and you'll be deactivated unless you click this link.

RIP to the blog that used to DM me to tell me they liked my new chapters. Their last known words spoken before being turned, 17 hours ago: "Ggs!" They were praising someone's deadlift.

[ckret2]

the message they tried to get me with is probably the same message that got them, so for anybody who hasn't already been warned about the signs of a zombie account:

if you get something like this ↑ they're gonna follow up by instructing you to contact tumblr support on discord and give you contact info; or they're gonna link a website that looks sort of like tumblr support and say you have to email them; or any variety of "you must now contact tumblr, here is how you contact tumblr."

whatever they send you, it Does Not lead to tumblr. it leads to the master zombie that bit them and inducted them into the ranks of the undead, and will bite you the second they have your email and password. i might be confusing zombies and vampires. anyway,

it's easier to fall for these messages because the blog doesn't LOOK like a bot blog, because it ISN'T a bot blog. it's a normal person's blog that got accessed by a bot, meaning the blog's content CLEARLY looks like a real active user when you click on it. and yes—it might even be a blog you already know. sometimes bots like this go down a blog's DMs or reblogs and message people they've previously interacted with.

they got one of my treasured followers, and they can get you too. don't fall for their tricks. know the signs.

[monsterpotion]

"You can now sort your likes from oldest to newest on web and iOS. Do you remember what your first liked post was?"

oh dear

[targetedknowledge]

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

have you ever met a celebrity irl?

yes

no

microcelebrity

kinda?

results

Voting ended onJun 11

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”