Blood and Bloody Ashes!

person, i think

[the-bar-sinister]

Oh hey pals, new AO3 scam just hit!

Just like the tumblr scam where they pretend to be "the support team" this is also a scam.

I edited out the link because I GUARANTEE if you go to it you will get your computer hacked and your AO3 or discord account stolen.

I am so mad because I got this 30 seconds after posting a new fic.

DO NOT FALL FOR THESE SCAMS.

No legitimate website support will EVER contact you like this!

(Obviously, this comment has been reported.)

[herpsandbirds]

Little Tinamou (Crypturellus soui), family Tinamidae, order Tinamiformes, Valle del Cauca, Colombia

The tinamous are an ancient group of birds, related to ratites (ostriches, rheas, emus, and cassowaries).

Though they are not strong flyers, they are capable of flight.

They are shy and secretive birds.

photograph by Bo Larkeed

[animentality]

[hemipenal-system]

insane long shot but do i have any followers who speak mongolian? (i think it's mongolian)

i think this is one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard and i would really like to know what the words mean

[hemipenal-system]

thats very funny because that's actually also why i have it. i do of course also just like the music and listen to it recreationally, but something about Egschiglen's music is just so so dragon rider-y to me

[elodieunderglass]

I tend to like this kind of music so tapped it on my phone

Didn’t realise phone was connected to speaker in kitchen

Door to kitchen was shut

Didn’t realise why music didn’t appear to be playing, so turned it up quite loud.

Was called away to do 18 different things at once for children and slipped phone into pocket

Husband, entering kitchen while thinking about something else, walked into a passage around 1:14 and was blasted, without consent or context, with whatever the music is doing at 1:14

To his credit, he rallied quickly

“Hi. Why is there a Mongolian throat singer in the kitchen?”

I was assisting a child in getting a toddler into a very tight handmade Dalmatian costume, made by a neighbour’s grandmother in a rather unconventional way, while providing sympathy to a third child with a complex emotional problem, and received this question with blank bewilderment, having forgotten what I had been on tumblr for and having not actually heard the music

Only thing I could think of was “and you just LEFT him there?!”

Sorry OP I have no idea what the lyrics mean. Hopefully someone can help you

[socialmaya]

[dalenthas]

I love that this joke works in English even though it's not written in English.

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]

[tictacpbandai]

[magicmistral]

My uncle is really into warhammer and would win every miniature painting competition he was in. I have not very steady hands and he saw me messing up my nail polish for prom. He sat with me and carefully painted my nails and that moment meant so much to me all these years later.

[radicarian]

The hoax took place in Florence in about 1409... The victim was a carpenter named Manetto, known as Il Grasso, "the Fat Man." Manetto specialized in carving ebony and owned a shop in the Piazza San Giovanni, not far from Filippo [Brunelleschi]'s house. He was prosperous and good-natured, but one day had the misfortune of incurring Filippo's ire after missing a social gathering. Never one to resist retaliation, Filippo resolved to exact his revenge for this perceived slight by persuading a wide cast of characters to convince Manetto that he had metamorphosed into someone else.... As Manetto closed his shop one evening, Filippo went to his house near the cathedral, picked the lock, slipped inside, and barred the door behind him. When Manetto arrived a few minutes later, he rattled the door and then, to his alarm, heard what sounded like his own voice (in fact, Filippo doing an impersonation) ordering him to go away. This impersonation was so convincing that eh retreated in bewilderment into the Piazza San Giovanni. There he met Donatello, who inexplicably addressed him as Matteo, and shortly afterward a bailiff, who likewise hailed him as Matteo and then promptly arrested him for debt. He was taken to the Stinche prison, where his name was entered in the jail book as Matteo. Even his fellow prisoners--all of them party to Filippo's prank--addressed him by this alien name. The carpenter spent a sleepless night, fretting over events but solacing himself with the thought that he was merely a victim of mistaken identity. This comfort evaporated the next morning when two strangers--the brothers of the real Matteo--arrived at the prison and claimed him as their kin. They paid his debt and liberated him, though not before chastising him for his supposed gambling and profligate living. More bewildered now than ever, he was escorted to Matteo's home on the other side of Florence, near Santa Felìcita, where his protests that he was not Matteo, but Manetto, appeared to fall on deaf ears.... He was then put to sleep with a potion supplied by Filippo and carried, unconscious, back across the river to his own home. He was laid on his bed in a reversed position, with his head at the foot and his feet at the head. Awakening many hours later, the poor carpenter was confused not merely by his position on the bed but also by the disarray of his house, for his tools had been completely rearranged. His perplexity grew with the arrival of Matteo's brothers... greeting him as Manetto and relating the curious story of how the previous evening their brother Matteo conceived the fantastic notion that he was someone else. The story was soon confirmed by Matteo himself--the real one--who arrived at Manetto's house to describe his puzzling dream of having been a carpenter. The disarray of the house was explained by the fact that in his dream Matteo noticed how his tools were out of order and in need of rearrangement.

Source: Brunelleschi's Dome, Ross King

What the hell was going on in 15th-century Florence. You miss a party and get elaborately mindfucked by a pissed-off goldsmith and his buddy Donatello. Manetto ended up moving to Hungary over this and who can blame him

[shiftythrifting]

Found at the Rag Machine in Vancouver, Canada.

[tiddybearcomfortstrap]

Everyone in the notes forgetting about the concept of pregnancy you’re so valid never change

[lizlemondyke]

4 non blondes were right. I DO wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs what’s going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[hyperlexichypatia]

People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.

You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.

You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.

You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.

You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.

And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.

[rypnami]

i’ve only had jimothy the short spined raccoon for a day and a half but if anything happened to him i would go ballistic

[hannahbluish]

[elodieunderglass]

(Mouse requested a bedtime story about “nothing.”)

Once upon a time there was nothing, and it lived in the corner of Mouse’s room. There was space between the bed and the cupboard that was big enough for nothing else.

There wasn’t much room for nothing in Mouse’s house. Everything everywhere had something in it, and sometimes more. Everywhere that looked like it might have nothing really had something, like dust or a cornflake or a LEGO head or a shadow, and if it looked like there was nothing for even a moment, someone would come and put something there.

It was very hard to be nothing in Mouse’s house. Every corner had something in it, and if it didn’t, there was a spider living there. Everything was always some colour or another, and usually some noise. Everyone was always putting a book down on you. Or spilling Ribena on you and pretending they hadn’t. Or complaining that there was no room for anything, and shifting about all the other things, but never making room for nothing - only moving it uncomfortably about the house. “Nothing’s ever where I put it in this house,” they’d say, but complaining.

And even when they weren’t doing all that, they were always talking about nothing. Someone would always be tripping over it, and then would yell that they had tripped on nothing - there was no privacy for nothing around here - or they were saying that nothing was wrong. Even when it was quiet someone would say, “did you hear that?” And, “what was that?” And, “it must’ve been nothing.” They would poke it; and then say out loud that they had poked nothing, but never got into trouble for it!

As a result of this, nothing began to feel cross, and put-upon, and uncomfortable. It was also a bit lonely, and wondered if it wanted to be something. So it thought very hard, and was SOMETHING.

This was certainly more interesting, and everyone came and looked at it, and said Look At That Thing, and That Really is Something. They poked it, and said they had poked something, and that something was there. They said, “I can smell something,” but with more interest this time. Then they spilled Ribena on it, and something came out of the corner and ran about the house, and everyone wanted to know all about it, and why the Ribena was in Mouse’s room in the first place.

Something was interested in the attention, because it was true - it really was something. It was chased all around the house now. Everyone said, “it’s up to something.” But instead of sitting quietly, something wanted something to do.

So something followed Mouse, but at a distance, because Mouse was always tripping on something. And Mouse and Mama went out in the pushchair, and something followed them.

Mouse said, “I see something!” And Mama said, “what do you see?”

And Mouse said, “I see GEORGE.”

With that, George had to be George, and was a boy thing. He was puzzled by this, and sat in Mouse’s lap, and was pushed around in the pushchair. “What is a George?” George asked.

Mouse explained that a George was a bit like a monkey, with a tail, red, with a face, a lot of red fur, and small, and smelly. Smelly of sharks.

“I’m smelly of sharks?” George said, quite unexpectedly upset by this. “What do sharks smell like?”

(George had only just stopped being nothing, and didn’t know.)

Mouse explained how sharks (which astute grownups will remember are small BLÅHAJ stuffed toys that mice incidentally shoplifted from IKEA, across which we shall draw the veil of amnesty) smell of bedtime, and possibly Ribena.

“I don’t like that,” said George, and tried being George anyway. George went to the shop, and ran about on the floor for a bit, and everyone said, “what is THAT?” And it was George.

George said, “I want to go home,” so they went home, and went to bed with the shark.

But then George knew the end was coming, and so he said to Mouse, “this is too much. I want to go home.”

and George didn’t fit in his corner any more - because it was big enough for nothing.

So George went POP and turned back into nothing.

Mouse said, “yes,” and nodded. And Mouse talked to George anyway.

And then Mama came and said, “who are you talking to, Mouse?”

And Mouse said: nothing!!

[r-truth]

[gischtglas]

[hybernating-bear]

That's because this is Silmarillion

[the-commonplace-book]

[cogneartive]

when the persona you made eats you; when the performance youve been putting on eats you; when the name they gave you eats you; when the image people made of you eats you; when the role you were assigned eats you; when the you that other people see or even made for you or you made for them takes over the you that you know and eats you alive.