[primordial-fungus-monolith]

Of course I'm not good at working I'm supposed to be a milf's trophy wife 🙄

[primordial-fungus-monolith]

Help this post go viral so I can find my forever home

[aximili]

friends romans countrymen

[newpokemoncards]

[saddest-cat-hours]

[amyofthemyscira]

Bacchino Malato (Caravaggio, 1593)

[starsappho]

My favourite thing about this post is that someone saw those photos of that cat and went “ah yes, I know exactly which 15th century Baroque painting this reminds me of”

[lordelmelloi2]

[tkkatherineblog]

[meltycure-deactivated20210804]

Now Presenting……..

Her

[yesterdaysprint]

Chetopa Advance, Kansas, April 10, 1924

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Having sensory issues is weird. Like someone rings the doorbell once and there go my evening plans

[laysthefangirl]

Yesterday I touched a box that felt “wrong” and I spent the rest of night trying to get that feeling off my hands.

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

i scraped my teeth together while eating so I didn’t finish my meal

[just-high-school-things]

Adults think we peer pressure each other into doing drugs and n shit when we actually peer pressure our friends into eating a decent lunch

(Inspired by that one time my friend group chanted “ EAT THE SANDWICH” while slamming our fists on the table because one in the group had only ate one bite of chicken since lunch yesterday)

[transgenderenkidu]

@beanlord3000

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

19th-20th cent literature makes more sense when you keep in mind it was all written by depressed alcoholics

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and they sold cocaine in pharmacies

[peterkavnsky-deactivated2020051]

you know what? accents are actually lovely. like you can learn all the languages in the world and you still have a part of your own with you. that’s cute

[prokopetz]

I love it when Icelandic sagas attribute every microscopic inconvenience that befalls a hero on his journeys to “witchcraft”. It makes me picture a really bored witch just micromanaging the hell out of this one particular guy’s daily travails.

[machine-dove]

My favorite bit of Icelandic saga is when one dude’s house is invaded by not one, but two bands of zombies (because he pissed off a witch, obviously), which did such terrible zombie things as taking the best spots by the fire and throwing clods of dirt at each other.

The homeowner, being a fine upstanding Icelandic farmer/warrior type, did what you’d expect a Viking warrior to do when faced with invading zombies.

He sued them.  In court.  With lawyers.  As one does.

[korra]

awkward how reassuring i find this

[womensstudiesofficial-deactivat]

well ya duh society shames speech patterns associated with young women

[vickorano]

“Speech fillers” are just a human’s way of saying “wait a sec I’m thinking”. It means we think more before we speak, always trying to find the right way to say it. Every language has them. And people shouldn’t be annoyed by it, ever.

[feministfront]

just to reiterate because it’s a personal pet peeve of mine: “society shames speech patterns associated with young women”

[kingcheddarxvii]

“Not all men” I say, “there is but one who is purely good.” But which man am I referring to? In Iceland, deep in the woods and the snow, there lives a lad raised by wolves who feasts upon sunbeams and loves all of nature, unburdened by man’s sins. Tenderly, he strokes a hungry squirrel, sharing with her the last acorns of the autumn harvest. A tear rolls down his cheek. Who is he

[hymnsofheresy]

jesus, trying to explain to his disciples about his own fate:

[mamoru]

my name is rune I am terminally ill and today is potentially one of my last birthdays! I am saving up money to move to a city! where I live has almost no public transportation and lyft is very expensive. I want to be able to go places and go to the doctor as much as I need. all my doctors agree this is the best choice for me. more information here

here is my Kofi! I love money. thank you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

don’t live with me if you’re not prepared for me to occasionally jump out from under your bed

[snailpurrse]

me having a mental breakdown: I’m so useless

Gaud, unnaturally quickly shooting out from under my bed: NO FEELING BAD IN MY HOUSE

[science-jumps]

Me: get outta my house

Gaud, already resting feet on my dresser, :

[jcp1765]

me: *sighing bc i’m bored and I’m feeling like shit*

gaud: *jumps out of my closet wearing a party hat* none of that now let’s get some socks on you

[clearcarrion]

Me: *starts crying*

Gaud: *crawls out of my dresser* wanna go roller skating

[tooty-mcfarty]

me: *smashes my drawing* FUCK art, i cant draw.

Gaud: *slithers out from the air vent* want some cake

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[bradycore]

Ok first of all this whole post is sort of concerning (but I love that) second of all I actually get scared of things in the dark sometimes and this helped me like now when I run across my dark room and jump on my bed I imagine gaud reaching out from underneath to boost me up instead of something grabbing my ankles to drag me under and it’s really comforting THANK YOU

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*reaches out from under the bed to high five you*

[darthserket]

See now i’m imagining gaud existing under my bed and my cats being like “do I eat it, or does it eat me?!?!

[arguable-mistakes]

Whenever I feel ill now I’m going to imagine Gaud materializing out from under my bed to tell me I’ll be ok

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

It will be, I promise. Things have a way of working out. The low parts of life will roar like beasts as you approach them, but that’s only because they have the advantage of looming over you. All monsters loom and puff themselves up, to appear much bigger and scarier than you (but they aren’t).

All monsters seem enormous until you survive them. They can actually look quite small, when you have climbed past them and are peering back. Very small indeed.

Go to sleep, love. Dream quiet, warm thoughts. Find a piece of peace in which to nest. And turn up the fucking thermostat it’s freezing down here do u want my toes to fall off damn

[arguable-mistakes]

I'm gonna cry thank you so much here's a million soft blankets and a tiny space heater