(or discover you have never known)

mj • they/them • 26 • mostly hr/aftg/trc • i talk too much in the tags and post very few original thoughts. my main is @frogntoadrfriends :)

[magneatio]

shane hollander: there is a loaded gun in the middle of the room. nobody knows it’s a gun and nobody knows it is loaded. i am waiting for somebody to pick it up i am waiting for anybody to pick up the loaded gun i would like for anybody at all to take a shot with this gun that nobody knows is a gun and nobody knows is loaded and nobody knows that i am the loaded gun ^_^ but also nobody can touch my loaded gun or i will shoot this fucking thing right here and right now!!

[eugeniedanglars]

ilya: thinking scott hunter is millions of years old and thinking he is hot is not contradiction. if he is dinosaur then call me paleontologist you know?

shane: do you... do you think paleontologists fuck the dinosaurs?

[penandinkprincess]

Wait, does ilya like call bars/clubs to ask if they have ginger ale? Or does he ask when there without shane?

Im also imagining him with a note on his phone for "shane clubs" with notes and rating on how much shane will like them

so ilya has an internal criteria for if shane will like a club or not (is there a place to be outside of the main action? is there a place where you can stand and the music isn't so loud? are the lights predictable or do they have a lot of strobing? etc.), and if the club meets THOSE qualifications, then he will ask at the bar if they have ginger ale. if no, out of the running as a place he will take shane. if yes, success! new Shane Friendly Club.

but it's SO fucking casual, you guys. SO fucking casual. thinking about your hookup and his preferences when he's not even with you and you're actively trying to pick up someone else is SO fucking casual. don't even worry about it.

[junkdrawertales]

Ten of Ilya Rozanov’s Designated Shane Places (it’s so casual it’s literally no problem at all. It only took like three weeks of research a minute to make!)

Club with heavily upholstered booths that muffle sound. Lots of ginger ale. Menu has several variations on a Moscow Mule

Club with a big fishtank behind the bar that Shane likes to look at when he’s overstimulated. Drinks are hipstery. Shane likes the hibiscus-peppercorn Old Fashioned.

Club that has twinkly chandelier lights that aren’t too harsh or too dim. Ginger beer instead of ginger ale. Still good though.

Club that plays weird avant-garde Québécois indie rock and doesn’t allow cameras. Large selection of Canadian whiskey.

Bar with lots of darts and pool tables if Shane is feeling competitive. Aggressively hipster. They brew their own weird probiotic soda. Shane LOVES weird probiotic soda.

Bar and grill with live jazz. They have a vegan menu. Shane likes the fried jicama sticks. Organic ginger ale.

Club with gauzy curtains hanging from the ceiling that look cool AND block cameras. No ginger ale, but Shane will have a mint julep (they are excellent)

Club playing exclusively 80s hits, weird cocktails with rosemary smoke. Every hour on the hour they drop pounds and pounds of confetti from the ceiling. Drunk Shane thinks it’s pretty.

Club with a ball pit gimmick. Ilya suggested it as a joke but Shane’s eyes got huge like a cat fixating on a bug. It’s deeply overstimulating and he can tolerate it for about 90 minutes before he has to stand outside for a bit. Very strong drinks.

Club with go-go dancers who can be bribed into letting Drunk Shane have a turn dancing in the stripper cage. Drinks irrelevant. This is Ilya’s favorite.

[penandinkprincess]

i've literally been at work all day just laughing about the idea of drunk shane in a ballpit.

he's not even like. moving around in it.

he is drunk, and he is laying perfectly still as if meditating, and tbh? kind of unsettling. three different people have checked on him. ilya circles back every twenty-ish minutes to be like, "shane? you are alive still?" yep.

he's fine.

he's just ballpitting.

[gaygoatshane]

myilya moodboard

[normal-about-hollanov]

ok. I'm going to try to take a crack at explaining some of the intricacies of Shane's (and Ilya's to a certian extent) Emotional Saw Trap for those of you who are unfamiliar with the culture of hockey. hockey is drag. but absolutely no one will admit to that. hockey is the performance of masculinity to a degree so high they loop back around and reinvent the gay wheel. hockey men regularly do things that anywhere outside the closed loop they would be seen as queer. they call each other babe. they walk each other like dogs. literally. they kiss often. they regularly get pair bonded in a way that is drastic for their well being if they're separated. but while they're doing all that they're also spewing homophobia like nearly no other group. so for someone like shane, it becomes performing masculinity AND performing pseudo gay, all the while having to wholly smother The Actual Gay Part. get my boy out of there he's in hand crafted super hell.

[s-hanna-h]

sad times

[aprilsmoking]

[isnt-that-wizardd]

it's 2014. everyone is doing the als ice bucket challenge. ilya rozanov is nominated for the ice bucket challenge. in true asshole fashion, once he completes his own video he nominates shane hollander to do the challenge next. shane hollander must complete the ice bucket challenge. he decides to film the challenge after practice, wearing a light gray compression shirt, shorts, and a backwards ball cap, with hayden and jj throwing the water on him. ilya rozanov watches the video, thinking it will be funny. he has never regretted his life choices more as he is forced to witness an already sweaty shane "jock" hollander become drenched in water, shirt clinging to his body even more, head shaking off the excess water with a grin, staring at the camera like he just knew ilya would be watching. it is like something out of ilya's - literally - wet dreams. he downloads the video to his phone. he makes another very large donation to the als association.

[memyselfandi13531]

i think if ilya ever told svetlana about the tuna meltdown fiasco she'd make him tell her everything that he said word for word and when ilya's finished she's just sitting there like this

[shnehollander]

ilya is soft hearted and kind and plays sharky in the pool w kids and makes his situationship tuna melts and wears a cross all the time for his mama

[bipolar4autistic]

Jane Hollander voice I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you're as bad as me.

[rival2lover]

the room fills up with people who are convinced i'm not just some kid faking it for your love

shane hollander x favorite daughter by lorde🩻

[hudconvent]

shane hollander doing a bunch of anti smoking billboards for city of montreal that ilya loves to send a photo of himself in front of with a lit cigarette between his lips every time hes in town

[hudconvent]

i really am tickled by the idea of scott hunter being canonically only 3 yrs older than ilya and catching stray after stray for being old. yet also in my mind cliff is fully in his mid 30s when ilya is a rookie and whenever they get drunk together cliff gets emotional and is like “do you think im washed lil bro…..” and ilya is like “NO are you kidding me……you are stud…..just now in your prime…..”

[griefbespoke]

i love love loooove 'better than the fucking yankees' because shane's not just some hockey-obsessed jock, he's a straight up jock across the board. he's an all-rounder!!! he's a hockey player, and hockey players literally spend like 80-90% of their time talking about all the other sports they're watching. he watches sportscenter like it's the nightly news, has the baseball on in the background all summer. he's showing up at the olympics for sports simply because he knows the athletes, and as a top canadian athlete with his level of marketing and sponsorship, he's met and knows A Lot of athletes. he's getting invited to grand slam tournaments. he's reading all those high performing athlete biographies. he has an opinion on who's going to win the super bowl, who looks good in the nba, which teams will do best in the world cup, who's in form for the masters. in tlg he's participating in the great canadian pastime of putting on some late night australian rugby/aussie rules just for the sake of having some live sports running in the background. he and ilya put the tennis on later in the book for the same reason. that boy is a fucking jock!!!

[littlespoonevan]

”send me a 'missing moment' from heated rivalry you wish we got and i'll write you a drabble/oneshot of that scene ✨”:

Yuna and David talking after Shane and Ilya left in episode 6, or Shane and Ilya after they come back to the cottage…..☺️💕

okay so i was gonna do both but i didn't think they fit together quite right so if you'd still like to see the yuna and david talk let me know!! but here is shane and ilya after they come back from the cottage ❤️

-

The whirring in Shane’s brain that’s resembled the screech of an overheating laptop fan all afternoon finally stops when the front door of the cottage closes behind them.

He’s held himself taut ever since he got in the car to drive to his parents’ house four hours ago, kept as close to a vice-like grip on his emotions as he could manage. He’d only really slipped up when he was outside with his mom but she’d let them both have their moment and then she’d helped him pull it together. Crying wouldn’t have helped anything earlier, he knows that, logically. But now, as he stands listlessly in the kitchen and Ilya comes up behind him, sliding his arms around Shane’s middle and hooking his chin over Shane’s shoulder, he can’t stop the choked off sob that escapes him.

Ilya makes a noise behind him, holding him tighter until they’re glued together – chest to back – and presses his face into the spot where Shane’s neck meets his shoulder. “Shane.”

“Sorry,” Shane hiccoughs, shocked and embarrassed. He reaches up with both hands to scrub at his face, to try to stave off the tears that won’t seem to fucking stop. “I’m- sorry, I-”

Ilya shushes him and kisses the bolt of his jaw, keeping his mouth pressed there and rubbing his knuckles in a gentle circle over the centre of Shane’s chest. It isn’t until Shane latches onto the feeling that he realises he’s barely breathing. He gasps out an exhale but it just turns into another hitching sob. Fuck, has his head been pounding this whole time?

It’s just- he doesn’t regret how today turned out but the gravity of it all is hitting him now. His parents know. About him. About Ilya. About their plan. Ilya called himself his boyfriend. And-

And it’s fine. His parents still love him. Ilya loves him. Two people know about them and the world didn’t cave in. In fact, his mom even suggested it could be lucrative (“if they do it right”). Nothing about this has really been bad – except for the stomach-curdling moment his father had caught them and promptly ran away. Shane understands now where he gets that particular move from. So he should be happy. He should be relieved.

And he is, kind of. But it’s also-

Not exactly the plan he had when he woke up this morning.

Not exactly how he’d wanted to tell them, if given the choice.

“Come on,” Ilya murmurs now, interrupting Shane’s spiralling thoughts. He tugs on Shane tentatively, shuffling them around until he can steer them towards the bedroom.

He lets go of Shane’s waist when they’re through the threshold. Shane turns to face him helplessly; he can’t think right now. He needs Ilya to do it for him. Ilya’s so good at thinking for him when Shane’s thoughts get too loud.

And they’re not about to have sex, he doesn’t think, but Ilya has that same patient look on his face he gets sometimes as he reaches up to gently press on Shane’s shoulders until he sits at the edge of the bed. Shane feels something in him settle for the first time since they got home and watches Ilya round the bed for the remote. He makes the blinds come down – the only time they’ve done that since Shane tried to the first day – and Shane didn’t realise how much the light was making his temples throb until the room is suddenly dim.

He sniffs and takes a tremulous breath, rubbing at his eyes again. Ilya tosses the remote aside and comes back to him then, standing between Shane’s legs and lifting his hands to unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt. He only does it until the shirt is loose enough to slip off over Shane’s head and Shane feels a fresh wave of tears coming as he watches Ilya fold it so carefully and put it on top of the dresser.

When he’s close enough again Shane reaches for him, burying his face in Ilya’s stomach and wrapping his arms around him as tight as he can manage while he tries to remember how to slow his breathing down. Ilya’s hands land in his hair, scratching over his scalp, and Shane sighs.

“I’m not sad,” he says, voice muffled against Ilya’s t-shirt, because he feels like he needs Ilya to understand. This isn’t about him. Or them. So much of him really does feel happy right now. But he also feels so jittery that he’s pretty sure this is some kind of panic attack.

“I know,” Ilya says, so steady and sure. Shane’s own personal lodestone.

“It’s just…”

“A lot for one afternoon?” Ilya fills in, almost amused but not quite. “I know, Shane. It’s okay. You’re okay. You can feel more than one thing about it.”

Shane nods against him, scrunching the back of Ilya’s t-shirt in his hands until the feeling comes back into his fingers. “Will you lie down with me?” he asks after a few minutes. When the tears haven’t exactly stopped but they don’t feel like a never-ending well anymore either.

Ilya steps out of the circle of his arms but it’s only so he can stoop down and kiss the top of Shane’s head before he nods for Shane to lie back.

After Ilya has stripped them both down to their underwear he climbs onto the bed, curling around Shane’s back and wrapping him up in his arms until Shane is totally enveloped. It should feel suffocating; instead, it feels a little like a weighted blanket. It knocks Shane’s breathing into something steady and he finds his head doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore.

Ilya’s hands are still rubbing over whatever parts of Shane he can reach, the paths of his fingers rhythmic enough that it’s easy to focus on.

“I’m glad they know,” Shane says after too long, voice scratchy from crying. He folds his hands over Ilya’s and gives them a squeeze. “I’m glad they know about you.”

“But it was still not how you wanted to tell them,” Ilya guesses lowly, kissing the nape of his neck.

“No,” Shane agrees. Of all the vague ways he’d ever imagined telling his parents, this wasn’t one of them.

It’s still hard to regret the outcome, hard to regret the relief that settles on his shoulders now even if it’s all tangled up with the overwhelming nerves he’s felt all day.

“I think they like you.”

Ilya makes a noise like a scoff. “Of course they do. I am very charming.”

Shane laughs and rolls his eyes and he’s pretty sure that’s the point. “Uh huh.”

He shifts, turning over onto his other side. Ilya dutifully rolls onto his back and Shane rearranges himself until he can use his chest as a pillow, Ilya’s arms around him once again. He can look at him this way, even if it’s at a sort of funny angle.

Ilya stares down at him and asks, “You really think they liked me?”

The first real hint at his own anxiety all day.

It makes Shane smile, makes him reach up until he can touch his thumb and forefinger to Ilya’s cheek. “Of course.”

Ilya smiles back at him, a little shaky, and cards his hand through Shane’s hair again.

“Thank you for coming with me.”

Ilya didn’t have to come; he could’ve stayed here. Waited until Shane was finished and had come home, flayed apart, and picked up the pieces. Instead, he’d willingly stepped into the firing line and stayed a steady presence at Shane’s side the entire time.

“We are a team, yes?” Ilya’s hand tightens in his hair, a grounding hold. “We do this together.”

And it’s stupid, the way the idea of them being a team makes Shane heart beat a little harder, but it does. He’s spent his whole career playing against Ilya and he wouldn’t have it any other way. But it’s nice – to imagine it in this instance. Their own little team of two.

“Never heard you say you wanted to be on the same side before,” Shane quips, grinning and biting back a laugh when he can feel Ilya’s exasperated sigh.

He catches Shane’s eye then, looking suddenly serious. “I am always on your side, Hollander.”

Shane blinks, mouth parting. He’s so used to shouldering weight alone. So used to the pressure and the noise and the responsibility that’s plagued him since he was a teenager. He knows Ilya is too. It’s kind of nice to think they might not have to anymore.

“I’m on your side too,” he says, shifting a little to get closer, to press his lips to Ilya’s collarbone. “I love you.”

God, did they really only say that to each other for the first time last night? Shane feels like he’s lived a million lives since then.

“I love you too,” Ilya whispers, palm sweeping over Shane’s back.

Closing his eyes, Shane presses his nose into the divot of Ilya’s shoulder and reminds himself, that no matter what else today feels like, it also feels a little like winning.

[bloominflowers]

a centaurs appreciation post bc I love these characters and this team with all my heart 💗