Aroace Ramblings

I'll share my experience with being aroace, and you can share yours :) She/her

[aroaceramblings]

Aroaces of Tumblr! This blog is for an exchange of experiences unique to being aroace. You can rant, celebrate, or simply share your experiences. Allos are also welcome to ask questions or input, but keep in mind this is supposed to be a safe space so no aphobia :)

Let's get a few things (not quite) straight:

1. No Aphobia/Other Bigotry

This includes but is not limited to: homophobia, transphobia, sexism, ableism, racism, etc.

I want everyone to feel safe to share their personal experiences without people being a dick about it.

2. No Exclusionism

Aros and aces ARE part of LGBTQ+ and if you don't want us there, you can leave right now. Greyros and Greyaces are too (and demis). Bold stripes are not the only aroaces.

Aroallos and alloaces are also welcome and just as much part of LGBTQ+ as any of the rest of us.

Microlabels are welcome, and afamilial, aplatonic, asensual, etc. are still aspec and deserve recognition.

3. Allos Take The Backseat

While allosexuals/alloromantics are welcome on here, it is a page for aroaces to share their own experiences. If you are not aroace, your input is certainly welcome, but don't try to argue with people or drown out our voices. We get enough of that.

4. Any Asks Are Welcome

Any and all asks are welcome (except aphobia). Whether you're questioning, definitively aspec and sharing a story, or just curious, don't be afraid to shoot me an ask!

Personal questions are alright as well for anyone questioning or curios allos, etc. I don't mind answering questions about my own experiences as well. Feel free to ask (within reason)!

I will get to asks as fast as I can.

I think I covered everything but don't be afraid to reach out!

[sortingmyideas]

I feel like people lose the ability to take context into account when I talk about aspec stuff

"No, I don't date or fuck, I'm aroace."

"Well, actually, it's a spect-"

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I KNOW! It's an umbrella term, right?? It refers to all of us, not just bold stripes and not just grays.

Meaning any of us are free to use "aroace" to describe our experience. It's bullshit that I'm constantly getting lectured by allos about my own community.

[vinceioum]

yeah im not gonna have kids

"ohh youll probably change your mind when your older"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"but youre so good with kids"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"youre too young to know that for sure"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"you might meet someone that you really want to start a family with"

IM NOT FUCKING HAVING KIDS !!!!!!

[qcharlie]

i wish we were able to talk about women's rights without someone mentioning how much they do or don't want to have sex with them. i don't care if you're a lesbian Stop finding worth in women purely from their perceived attractiveness

[qcharlie]

"I think women should not be expected to shave for societal respect / to avoid discrimination" "yeah🤤 i love bush" ok well that's not what we're talking about is it.

[qcharlie]

i hate how many posts about trans women deserving respect always devolve into "I love girldick" or "trans rights but I don't want to date a trans person" because that's entirely unrelated to the topic at hand. you should not respond to feminism with "YESSS I loveeee you because I see you as nothing but a sex object" you people sound like other men I get stuck talking with that end up saying "free the nipple so I can see boobies in public" and thinking they're feminists. why can't we just respect women regardless of your attraction to them or not. why does it need to be brought up in every conversation regarding their rights

[the-moss-on-the-trees]

i am so fucking serious when i say that if you don't know the difference between asexuality and aromanticism, you are not allowed to express your opinions on anything regarding it, especially not in fandom. you need to shut the fuck up. if you tell me that my ace headcanon for a character is not valid because "they had a partner" i should be allowed to cut your internet cables actually. LEARN THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT ITS IN THE GODDAMN NAME asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction and aromanticism is the lack of romantic attraction. an alloasexual still feels romantic attraction and an alloaromantic still feels sexual attraction, and besides both of these are spectrums

also, somebody can have had sex or romances and still later on realise that they are ace or aro respectively. you wouldn't tell a gay man that he can't be gay cuz he's dated a woman, or a lesbian that she isn't cuz she's dated a man. genuinely explain to me how thats different for aro/ace people

seriously if you dont know/understand these basic fucking concepts you should not be allowed to engage in conversations regaring aro/ace people or characters. shut the fuck up until you do get it. my fucking god

[aroaceramblings]

Yes! People can date and find out later they don't actually have romantic attraction, or have sex and realize later they don't have sexual attraction. Your sexuality or romantic orientation is not set in stone because you dated or had sex with one person.

And yeah, if you don't know the difference, you don't get to comment on it.

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

Kind of tired of how other queer and asexual folks keep pushing compulsive sexuality, and moralizing having sex or sexual thoughts.

Like, I'm tired of the "better be a pervert than a prude", the "we all are a little freaky", the "asexuals write the best smut", the "we don't want prudes to be writing hcs"... Like, we have to participate in sexual topics and behaviors to be normal, or we are prudes (can y'all stop judging and insulting people based on their personal experience with sex? Y'all learn that "virgin" was a bad insult and turn to use "prude" instead but you are still doing the same bs)

The fucking "Well, if people call you a puritan, maybe it's because you sound like one" posts being frequently posted in the asexual and sex-repulsed tags, because asexuals need to watch how they talk and complain about sex being forced unto them again, and again, and again, or they will be linked to purity culture (even tho purity culture STILL WANTS PEOPLE TO HAVE SEX, BUT ONLY AFTER MARRIAGE AND IN A HETERO RELATIONSHIP. PURITY CULTURE IS NOT SEXLESS), while queer folks continue again and again to paint it as morally superior to be a pervert (it's morally neutral. You being horny 24/7 doesn't make you morally superior to anyone).

Y'all love to reblog posts that say the basic "asexuals are valids!" but also reblog and post a ton of posts saying that being a "prude" is bad, not being a pervert is bad, every human is a pervert deep inside and people that denies it are bad, not being into kinky sex is bad, not being comfortable with some kinks is bad, not wanting to participate in some sexual acts is bad... So no, I do not feel valid and I do not feel supported, I feel exactly the same as before I discovered asexuality: broken and inhuman.

[soupdwelling]

trying to explain why i love being aroace is like if love is the light spectrum romantic and sexual attraction are visible light and then every other possible kind of love is outside of the visible spectrum and it’s like. just wait till you guys find out about radio waves they’re actually really important in a lot of modern technology. same with x-rays and infrared. and if you guys knew where and how to look you’d actually see there’s way more light around you than you actually thought there was. you’ve trapped yourself in a fake box of what light is based on what you can see but if you try a little harder to look there’s so much more out there. visible light isn’t special just because it’s what you happen to be able to see, stars are made of all of it, every wavelength, visible light is just a fraction of their radiance. if you didn’t bother with visible light so much you’d be able to appreciate what light truly is so much better. just saying.

[aroaceramblings]

Honestly this is the best metaphor for this I've seen.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kalesrebellion]

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

[helloitsbees]

[suzieloveships]

I finally understand why that argument was always making me angry

[roguedeer]

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

[hehebrainrotgobrrrrr]

scrolling through posts on multiple platforms on aroace day is hell. 'they still love their friends' WRONG 'they still love their family' WRONG 'they still feel love' WRONG 'they still form deep connections' WRONG.

Stop erasing other parts of the aspec community challenge IMPOSSIBLE apparently!

DOES THE WORD 'SOME' NOT EXIST??????

'Some aroace people feel love, others do not..'

'Some aroace people choose to be in QPR's...'

So simple!

Yes I will be annoying and inform every single person I see make this mistake!

I wave my apparently 'evil' and 'nonhuman' flag high!

^ heartless aro flag (every time I see 'we are not heartless' I have to refrain myself)

[aroaceramblings]

I'm not loveless myself but this is important! We can't erase parts of our community to make ourselves more palatable.

[monkeyfishgirl]

Some good news for Pride Month

[thearoaceathena]

@aroacesafeplaceforall

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Thank fuck!

Amazing work from Yasmin who campaigned for this to happen, so glad she won for all of us 💜🤍🩶🖤

[sherlocklovesboys]

no no i actually think it’s super fun that you took that aro/ace character and bent them over backwards to make them gay!!!! we all know being gay is more #progressive than being aro/ace so i’m so glad you freed them from having a storyline unconnected from romance and shipping!!! you go diva!!!

[aroaceramblings]

This is a huge problem in fandom spaces. Let the characters (whose entire plot is based around not having a love interest specifically) NOT HAVE A LOVE INTEREST. If the plot is about them not needing one don't give them one. Not every character needs to be partnered. I think the "progressive" shippers can leave a few pieces of media alone for us.

[arowitharrows]

I fully support Pluto as an aro symbol (x) but as a space scientist I cannot support any arguments that claim it's because Pluto should be a planet. The true reason Pluto is an aro symbol is precisely because people tie the amount of love and care this wonderful celestial body receives to which label it has. Just because a relationship with someone is not labeled as romantic should not mean that this relationship has to be treated as less worthy of time and care and effort. Just because Pluto is not labeled as a planet does not mean it is less worthy of our time and care and effort.

Here is another reason Pluto is aro: Pluto has a heart shaped region called the Tombaugh region:

[ID: an image of Pluto and it's heart shaped Tombaugh region, with the moon Charon in the background. End ID]

Now, Pluto and it's moon Charon are tidally locked, meaning they always face each other with the same hemisphere. Pluto's heart is always facing away from Charon. Some articles have phrased this as being tragically romantic, but I disagree! Here are two celestial objects orbiting each other for billions of years, and they are doing this while Pluto keeps it's heart hidden. Because in this case, love is not part of the equation that makes up their bond, romance does not play a part in their gravitational pull towards each other. That's aro as fuck, in my humble opinion.

[arowitharrows]

In conclusion:

[ID: the dwarf planet Pluto in front of the aromantic flag. End ID]

[lgbtqiatext]

[specialagentartemis]

Aro and ace activism is housing reform, is well-funded public housing, is an expansion of affordable housing, is allowing single people to get affordable and public housing, is rent controls to make it possible for single people to be able to afford to live alone on a single salary.

Aro and ace activism is healthcare reform, so that no one needs to rely on a spouse for health insurance, so that healthcare is available to everybody regardless of income, so that no one’s lived experiences or basic dignity are dismissed or overridden by doctors

Aro and ace activism is well-funded and expansive public transit, so that you don’t need to have someone on hand to drive you places if you are incapacitated, so that you don’t have to pay for an ambulance if you need to get to the hospital quickly

Aro and ace activism is disability and elder care services, so that no one needs a spouse to care for them, so that no one needs children to care for them, so that marriage is not a bind for disabled people, so that people on disability who want to and can live alone can

Aro and ace activism is community-building, it’s public events, it’s free social activities, it’s mutual aid, it’s activities that bring community members together without socializing relying on just a romantic partner

Aro and ace activism is developing a culture of believing when people tell you who they are and what they want rather than assuming you know them better than they know themselves

Aro and ace activism means a better world for people without “normative” desires or “normative” social support, which means a better world for everybody

[aromantic-diaries]

This is what the aromantic flag stands for btw (sources: dude trust me)

[loudestcloud]

Do I wanna ask about the gas leak..?

[aromantic-diaries]

[yardsards]

love is in the air? wrong! gas leak AND weed smoke.

[deez-nuts-sixty-nine]

Please do not smoke weed right next to the gas leak it is a significant safety hazard.

[jay-aro]

don't worry! we have the gas leak in one room and the weed smoke in another. it's very secure 👍

[aromantic-diaries]

You remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room, right? Please tell me you remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room

[randomname3]