I Love Vriska

21+ i use this blog when im irritated

[fangs4faggots]

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

[aroacevriskaserket]

For anyone interested in Movies Directed by Men with a Majority Female Leading Cast:

• Alucarda (1977)

• Raise the Red Lantern (1991)

• Adolescence of Utena (1999)

• Jawbreaker (1999)

• Kamikaze Girls (2004)

• Sucker Punch (2011)

• The Handmaiden (2016)

• Antiporno (2016)

• Roma (2018)

• Annihilation (2018)

• Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

• I Love Boosters (2026)

• Cosmic Princess Kaguya! (2026)

I did not enjoy all of these movies, but I do think all of them have artistic merit and do not conflate women with simple objects of torture or lust or love or motherhood

Obviously, there are also many directors who are women that are doing incredible things with majority female casts

[radfae]

i keep seeing discourse about femme lesbians online for some reason? there is no subversive hyper femininity for women period. there isn’t some spiritual magical difference between a lesbian performing femininity and a straight woman performing femininity. and it’s misogynistic to think that the way that osa women perform femininity is lesser or beneath the way that lesbians do. and this is coming from a femme lesbian

[aroacevriskaserket]

I don't know what's going on with regards to femme lesbian discourse, but I do want to point out that there are many examples of subversive hyper femininity around the world

All of the following are extreme performances of femininity that have faced backlash and caused discourse around what it means to be an acceptable feminine woman in society by undermining what is typically expected or accepted from hyper feminine women

Examples of subversive hyper femininity:

1. Lolita fashion in Japan: This form of dress specifically developed to resist the stifling pressure of Japanese society to grow up into a mature, reasonable, and picturesque woman

2. The emergence of Goth culture in the UK: Goth culture has caused various moral panics as it was considered sexually deviant due to its emphasis on hyper femininity and androgyny when it first emerged

3. Bimbocore in the US: Bimbocore fashion is obnoxiously and ridiculously feminine while also loudly (sometimes using violent rhetoric) taking strong political stances against capitalism and misogyny and embracing female sexuality and violence

[evenlesssentimentaltranslator]

Named after a book about a paedophile that served as an early example of how any work of the “we’re not going to say why this man’s actions were bad; you have to look at what he says and recognise that for yourself” persuasion will inevitably lead to people taking the narrative at face value.

People hate goth girls and women for not being feminine enough. They might hate goth men and boys for being too feminine, but OP was explicitly talking about hyperfemininity in women.

This framing of what’s happening with the bimbo thing straight up chilled me to my core. Y’all will just lie and lie and lie to endorse shit that harms women and girls and you have absolutely no conscience about it whatsoever.

[aroacevriskaserket]

My discussion of each of these subcultures will only be limited to the contexts they exist within rather than the universal superficial take people might have just off of the names. I think that in order for something to be hyper feminine, it must embrace feminine aesthetics wholeheartedly. In order for something to be considered subversive, it must challenge norms within which the subculture exists in

1. Within Japan, the use of the word Lolita for Lolita fashion has long been acknowledged as a superficial borrowing of the aesthetic of the word itself rather than any allegiance to the material text. The fashion itself developed, not out of inspiration from the book, but as a way to disgust others and/or rebel against growing up by embracing the childish. This is particularly subversive and a big deal in Japan where, at the time of Lolita's development, there was tremendous pressure on women to dress modestly and present a practical, dependable image.

2. Within the UK, when the goth subculture arose, the men did dress androgynously but were not the only ones who faced backlash for their performance of femininity. Goth women, in a similar fashion, were associated with hyper feminine aesthetics considered sexually deviant and provocative like corsets and fishnets. It was scandalous for them to embrace their sexuality openly and in ways considered "scary" in their presentation. The goth scene was particularly associated with things like polyamory and BDSM and often cultivated spaces that empowered women to be sexual in ways that were not expected or accepted

3. I did not talk about the Bimbo movement which is an anti-intellectual feminist movement. I talked about an offshoot called Bimbocore which was coined by Scene Queen, an American pop metal musician. Her work is dominated by themes of violence against men and rampant sex between lesbians. Her music videos also frequently take the time to uplift disabled lesbians, lesbians of color, and other marginalized lesbians

Based on the histories and contexts within which these movements exist, as well as the reactions that they cultivate from their target audiences, I feel that each are both hyper feminine and subversive even when participated in by women, men, or both

[radfae]

i keep seeing discourse about femme lesbians online for some reason? there is no subversive hyper femininity for women period. there isn’t some spiritual magical difference between a lesbian performing femininity and a straight woman performing femininity. and it’s misogynistic to think that the way that osa women perform femininity is lesser or beneath the way that lesbians do. and this is coming from a femme lesbian

[aroacevriskaserket]

I don't know what's going on with regards to femme lesbian discourse, but I do want to point out that there are many examples of subversive hyper femininity around the world

All of the following are extreme performances of femininity that have faced backlash and caused discourse around what it means to be an acceptable feminine woman in society by undermining what is typically expected or accepted from hyper feminine women

Examples of subversive hyper femininity:

1. Lolita fashion in Japan: This form of dress specifically developed to resist the stifling pressure of Japanese society to grow up into a mature, reasonable, and picturesque woman

2. The emergence of Goth culture in the UK: Goth culture has caused various moral panics as it was considered sexually deviant due to its emphasis on hyper femininity and androgyny when it first emerged

3. Bimbocore in the US: Bimbocore fashion is obnoxiously and ridiculously feminine while also loudly (sometimes using violent rhetoric) taking strong political stances against capitalism and misogyny and embracing female sexuality and violence

[radfae]

look me in my eyes and tell me that “bimbocore” is subversive again

[aroacevriskaserket]

Scene Queen, the original creator of the term Bimbocore, is a lesbian metal artist. Her music heavily features themes of violence against rapists and misogynists, and the exploration of lesbian sexuality.

Her songs frequently take advantage of pink hyperfeminine imagery like bras, Barbie, and thongs to spark controversy. She has an entire song about how to finger a woman and the music video spotlights the sexuality of disabled and Brown lesbians. I personally consider her body of work both hyper feminine and subversive. At a glance, the words Bimbocore can seem anti intellectual, but the creator itself is creating layered and sardonic music that requires you to engage with ideas of what it means to be both hyperfeminine and tongue in cheek advocate for violence against men

Addressing your tags as well, I am, believe it or not, a lesbian community organizer who dresses alternatively as well. Me providing examples countering your claim is not mansplaining femininity and subversive culture. It was literally just examples that came to my mind that are both hyperfeminine and counterculture

To say Lolita and Gothic fashion are not subversive is ahistorical. If anyone other than OP wants sources on the initial moral panics they caused as well as the ways in which they protested established social norms, I can dig some up since I do like doing archival work. On the other hand, a discussion on if Lolita and Gothic fashion are hyper feminine or feminine is a conversation that I'd be interested to hear differing takes on, since they are both extremely feminine from my perspective

I feel like you are not engaging in this discussion in good faith, so to anyone else who wants to discuss subversive feminine subcultures, this is what I have to offer, and I'm always happy to hear more about them or hear other beliefs regarding what it means to be hyperfeminine and/or subversive. I can also dig up sources and studies on all my claims for anyone interested in reading more, but I won't be doing that work for someone who doesn't actually care to listen and respond to me respectfully

I'll make a separate post about these as well later tn so as not to continue having this discussion in your notifications

[radfae]

i keep seeing discourse about femme lesbians online for some reason? there is no subversive hyper femininity for women period. there isn’t some spiritual magical difference between a lesbian performing femininity and a straight woman performing femininity. and it’s misogynistic to think that the way that osa women perform femininity is lesser or beneath the way that lesbians do. and this is coming from a femme lesbian

[aroacevriskaserket]

I don't know what's going on with regards to femme lesbian discourse, but I do want to point out that there are many examples of subversive hyper femininity around the world

All of the following are extreme performances of femininity that have faced backlash and caused discourse around what it means to be an acceptable feminine woman in society by undermining what is typically expected or accepted from hyper feminine women

Examples of subversive hyper femininity:

1. Lolita fashion in Japan: This form of dress specifically developed to resist the stifling pressure of Japanese society to grow up into a mature, reasonable, and picturesque woman

2. The emergence of Goth culture in the UK: Goth culture has caused various moral panics as it was considered sexually deviant due to its emphasis on hyper femininity and androgyny when it first emerged

3. Bimbocore in the US: Bimbocore fashion is obnoxiously and ridiculously feminine while also loudly (sometimes using violent rhetoric) taking strong political stances against capitalism and misogyny and embracing female sexuality and violence

[vintage-bentley]

It’s ridiculous that the trans community sees even respectfully not engaging with their beliefs as an act of malicious bigotry. What I mean by this is things like referring to a trans identified male as they/them or with no pronouns instead of she/her. That is a respectful way of not going against your own beliefs, while also going out of your way to not be abrasive by calling him he/him. It’s simply not engaging with somebody else’s belief while trying not to be overly hurtful about it. That’s not evil. “But it hurts to know people don’t see you as your gender!” TOO BAD. You have to grow a thicker skin and understand that nobody is required to engage with your beliefs to spare your feelings.

To me, it’s just like when I go to an event that includes saying grace or a prayer. I’m an atheist and anti-theist. I could easily be openly disrespectful and flash a devil sign, or stick out my tongue, or make noise, but I don’t. I simply don’t bow my head, I don’t recite the prayer, and I don’t say “amen”. Might this hurt people around me? Of course! I’m sure there’s religious people who would be deeply offended to see somebody not engaging in group prayer. But that’s simply not my problem. It’s their problem to accept that not everybody believes what they do, and that nobody is required to play long to spare their feelings.

The harsh reality is that if you believe in something that isn’t proven to be true (like the idea of a gendered soul, or a soul that needs to be saved by a higher power), you have to 1. Accept that it’s a belief, 2. Accept that not everyone will believe in it, and 3. Understand that somebody’s disbelief is not a slight against you.

[aroacevriskaserket]

Malicious or not, it is rude and mean to purposefully call someone what they have asked you not to call them. Saying grace isn't even slightly comparable. Using different pronouns for someone who has asked you to use certain pronouns is essentially the same as using the wrong name for someone over and over. Yes, it's a minor annoyance, but it's still annoying, and often, when done on purpose repeatedly, it demonstrates to everyone in the room that you are disrespectful to this person.

Most if not all trans people I know actually do have thick skins and don't even care when people misgender them. In fact, we don't care enough that it's not a big deal to call people out for purposefully using the wrong pronouns. It's easy to say, "Those aren't my pronouns," in the same way I might tell someone, "It's Tuesday today." Or I might say, "You're being rude," in the same way I might tell someone, "You're blocking the doorway."

If YOU are going to be rude, then YOU have to have a thick enough skin to stand it when someone calls you out for it.

"But I can call someone whatever I want!" Yes! You can! And they can call you rude and bigoted to your face about it, and we're all gonna have to tough it out when a person purposefully misgenders a trans person and the trans person calls them out for being a mean person

"It's their problem to accept that I won't use their pronouns" isn't true because just like it's not your job to accept other people's religions or genders, it's nobody else's job to accept you when you've made them feel bad on purpose

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

[aroacevriskaserket]

Recovery, being ready, closure are all myths. Nothing ever ends. You don't rest as long as you need. You cyclically rest for your entire life. You just get better and better at holding onto it all and living with it the more you practice at it

[polymerclay-deactivated20251120]

I do not ask this out of malice but what do you do when you're a genderfluid lesbian and you want to follow an lesbian nsft blog with men dni in their bio.. do u not interact with it at all if you're a guy at a particular day. What if you are bigender are you only allowed to interact with the blog within 12 hours. What if you're a wet slurry of every single gender identity ever but you're 50.1% of what most would consider to be a girl. Many things to consider

[polymerclay-deactivated20251120]

Painted a really funny image to me

[aroacevriskaserket]

Honestly, I think you should follow the DNI. If the intention is to have a space free of Men TM, then even if you're 1% man or somethin like that, you can't cut off part of yourself at the door. If being a man is part of your worldview as a genderfluid person, then when someone says men DNI, they probably don't want your worldview which includes a man's worldview in their particular space.

Even if you're only sometimes a man, you still have experienced the world as a man in a way that you ID with.

[aroacevriskaserket]

Have you tried wanting more for yourself

[dooblebugss]

[aroacevriskaserket]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you wanna get shit done you have to be willing to work with closet racists, upper middle class white people, homophobic teenage kids.

I'm not saying to put yourself in danger. But I am saying practice taking care of yourself in a way that isn't straight up bolting your door and never going outside.

I do a lot of volunteer work in the city. The number of microaggressions I pick and choose between rolling my eyes and bearing and verbally correcting are countless. But shit gets done with other people. You cannot accomplish something alone, and you especially cannot build a community if you're avoiding 95% of it because one person made an off color remark about your piercings and another said they'd never heard of bisexuality and another asked if you speak Japanese despite the fact that you're Chinese.

So many people are misinformed, young, behind the times, privileged, yadda yadda yadda. And yeah it's not your job to teach them, but we can't throw books and essays at people we live with. We have to live with them.

If you see someone doing their best to do good in the world through organizing, mutual aid, volunteering, and they are a fucking asshole that you could never be friends with, give them some credit. They are showing up for their community. The least you can do is show up too.

If you want the world to change, you have to believe it can change. If you believe it can change, you have to be there for it. Give good people a chance to be good.

[sunnysam-my]

I'm going to sound radical when I say this, but out of all sexualities aro/aces are the only ones going through that OG queer experience. And I bet most aroaces agree with me, but we just don't say it out loud.

We are still legally classified as a mental disorder or psychosexual dysfunction in most countries. Aroace people have fought hard, partially successfully, to have asexuality removed from the DSM-V in 2013.

My sexuality, aegosexuality/autochorisexuality, was literally named and defined by a doctor who wrote about it and asexuality as a paraphilia, in 2012.

Aro/aces are at high risk of experiencing conversion therapy. We're 10% more likely to be offered or undergo such therapies compared to other sexual minorities, and around 48% aromatics reported having experienced attempts or suggestions to "fix" or "cure" them. This includes being pressured or even forced to take medication.

Aromatics are especially discriminated in mental healthcare because of all the above.

In some places non-consummation is a ground to annul marriage and/or is ruled as cruelty. Basically, if you don't have sex with your partner, in the eyes of law, you are being cruel to your husband/wife and you're at fault for the divorce.

Asexuals are significantly more sexually assaulted than homosexuals (but not bisexual).

Aro/aces are not protected by most anti-discrimination laws, because asexuality is seen as lack of sexuality and not a sexual orientation. Same goes for romantic attraction.

Aro/aces have secret codes/signals for showing other aro/aces their identity without needing to come out to others. We wear white and black rings on specific finger and hand, just like gays did with handkerchiefs and lesbians with carabiners.

There's almost no media that doesn't dehumanise people who don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. Those that do exist were made by aro/ace people.

Surveys show most allos don't understand what asexually is, even when they are confident in their definition. This leads to almost all of asexuals being told they aren't actually ace because of xyz by allos.

Now, I'm not trying to make it into Oppression Olympics but I believe it's important to acknowledge how strongly discriminated aro/aces are when most people claim we aren't oppressed at all. I've heard so many times how aro/aces have "straight privileges" but what kind of privilege is it if we have to pretend to be straight and never come out to fucking have it? We deserves legal recognition, we deserve protection, we deserve acceptance, and we deserve to be seen.

[aroacevriskaserket]

I get what you mean but uh. The introduction you chose to go with is fucking crazy. Other LGBT ppl are also still very much experiencing the "OG queer experience." In America, sure, but also in like. Other countries. Where that shit is not at all legal.

I agree that aro and ace oppression is institutional and systemic, but those systems are ALSO affecting other LGBT ppl and to speak as if they aren't is kind of not the solidarity we need with the rest of the queer ppl

You're speaking from a place of frustration, but what you're saying isn't helping. What we need is all queer ppl to be in this together, not to fight in the weeds divvying up who is oppressed by what laws

[danikriatura]

[beesandwasps]

No, that would also be a moderate position, because nearly all of it (except the “grant full citizenship” part, which would be implied by the rest of it) follows from the treaties which the US signed after WWII and the laws it passed to enact those treaties. If you’re just following the law as written you aren’t taking a radical position.

[aroacevriskaserket]

you people can't do anything

[jaredkau]

this might flop but im curious

I also have to clarify were talking about the IN REAL LIFE concept of soulmates people made, not the fanfic trope. This is important, thanks. Please don't vote based on the fanfic trope.

Aros, are soulmates arophobic?

It's arophobic

It's not arophobic

Neutral / I have no idea

Other Stance (Let me know! Or not...do what u want)

[ Give Me Da Results]

Voting ended onMar 3, 2023

[greenteaandtattoos]

I don't think it is at all because it's not something with the explicit intention to hurt, insult, or erase aros. I highly doubt that the concept of soulmates was thought up directly to contradict aros. It seems rather dramatic to call it arophobic unless someone uses it directly to erase your aro identity (i.e. "you can't be aro because everyone has a soulmate", "you'll find your soulmate one day", etc.).

[arotechno]

that's not how arophobia works. something doesn't have to be said or thought up specifically with hurting aros in mind to be arophobic. most people don't know that aros exist, but that does not mean they aren't arophobic. the intent doesn't matter.

no one sits down and thinks of new ways to be arophobic—it's about societal norms and ideas that are socially ingrained in people about what is normal/healthy/valued/human that directly hurts aros. an invisible target is still a target.

by that metric, sure i don't think it's arophobic what people choose to believe about their OWN relationships, but the overarching belief that everyone has a destined other half that they are meant to be with, that "completes" them and is their truest love—which is what the concept of soulmates, historically, from the beginning, is about—IS amatonormative and therefore arophobic. and this is of course an oversimplification of something i have been discussing for an absurd number of years now.

we can agree to disagree on the last point, but the idea that something is not arophobic simply because it wasn't on purpose is an absurd argument to me.

[greenteaandtattoos]

I can see your point. However, the concept of soulmates is something that not even most allos believe in. It's very much been romanticized and generally used in fanfics and stories, rather than an actual belief. Of course, many people do believe in it, but the majority of people that I know don't think it's an actual thing.

One could argue that the concept of finding "The One" is more arophobic than the concept of soulmates because that's a much more popular belief. "The One" isn't necessarily someone you're destined to be with, but rather the concept that you will find a person who will be perfect for you.

[arotechno]

whether or not it's a widely held belief is a moot point, imo. i don't think how widespread it is changes how arophobic it is. we'll have to agree to disagree on that

very much agree regarding "the one" being arophobic. they're actually kind of the same concept imo (or at the very least stem from the same amatonormative belief)!

[aroacevriskaserket]

I'm a big proponent of allowing people to form the relationships they want. In practice, I view soulmates as another relationship that people can desire or not desire. If someone finds someone they consider their soulmate, whether that's platonic, romantic, queerplatonic, or something else, I don't think it's my business how they conceptualize of that relationship.

As long as people do not enforce that I must have a soulmate, then I don't think they are being arophobic by believing in the existence of soulmates.

My issue is that, yes, people who are immature about relationships and haven't spent time thinking about amatonormativity and relationship anarchy and what they actually want vs what they've convinced themselves is necessary to function in society may be taken in by the idea of a soulmate. But I think someone who has thought about what they want carefully can decide that, whatever their idea of a soulmate is, is what they desire and want to pursue, and that's not arophobic.

[earthlings2018]

i hate u amatonormativity i hate u institution of marriage i hate u nuclear family i hate u ‘love is what makes us human’ i hate u heteronormativity i hate u relationship hierarchy i hate u capitalism i hate all of u w a burning passion !!!!

[skitpost]

i got 99 problems and like all of em are my fault

[matsuropalette]

eldest daughter syndrome and gifted kid syndrome are some great examples of phrases used to talk about specific kinds of trauma that the internet has taken and turned into "boo hoo these people arent special anymore so theyre lashing out!!" it was never about that you fucking cunts

[matsuropalette]

eldest daughter sydrome is about a very specific trauma that comes with being expected to parent for younger siblings and even your parents as a literal child and how badly it fucks you and your perception of yourself and what you're capable of doing up. gifted kid syndrome is about how a "smart" label is slapped onto kids at a horribly young age and then they are repeatedly denied help forced to do more and more work never taught socialization or study skills and then berated and treated like a disappointment when they're human beings instead of little intelligence machines. god.

[matsuropalette]

i was fucking right about this honestly. most phrases like this are about certain kinds of trauma people have faced not about some kind of fucking superiority complex

[aroacevriskaserket]

Honestly my issue w ppl who discuss gifted kid syndrome is that they never really seem to have considered the privileges they DID have over others. Like gifted kids DO get more opportunities and more forgiveness for mistakes. As a gifted kid, my reputation as "smart" let me coast through a lot of HS. Teachers would give me more extensions and give me the benefit of the doubt bc I was a "good kid."

Meanwhile lost causes are failed by teachers who havent even read their papers. They aren't told about cool clubs or scholarships or given extra schooling to learn new skills because people don't even think they're worth it.

It does suck to get to college and realize being a gifted kid has ultimately made it difficult for me to do things like seek diagnoses or come clean to my family about my struggles (and also given me a mountain of anxiety). But I'm in COLLEGE. And I realize that's a privilege often reserved for gifted kids. Gifted kid syndrome is real but its not as simple as "this traumatized me."

Gifted kids have the privilege of finding out their limits after shooting for impossible goals. Its hard to be confronted with impossibility and to not know how or who to turn to for help. But they still end up collecting skills, knowledge, and connections in the process.

Lost causes don't even get the chance to shoot.

[cactusju1c3]

HOMEMSTUCK DAYYY