What idle silliness!

[iguanamouth]

I thought it would delight you to know that ants do have a sort of funeral mound for their dead

yes there is a name for this! necrophoresis is a process with social insects where the bodies are taken to a specific location on the outside of ( or within ) the nest - ants tend to keep them all in the same place, and the way an ant is signaled to be "dead" by its other members is through the release of a chemical called oliec acid

theres even been a few experiments where live ants were coated in the same chemical and other ants treated the live ants....exactly as though they were dead and tried dragging them into the pile

[iguanamouth]

[phantomrose96]

I love tumblr. I love that tumblr is the best social media site of 2021.

Every other site has spent the last decade perfecting the art of targeted ads. I am a wallet of flesh and blood which must be stripped bare and profiled and picked apart for the maximally efficient way to squeeze profit from my presence. Every other site will fold and morph itself to a shape of my liking - like a fairy tale trickster stealing memories and taking their mold - to lull me into compliance and loosen my coin purse.

Facebook sees me searching fitness equipment and injects my timeline with athletic wear ads. Reddit profiles the subreddits I follow and eagerly promotes a new coding bootcamp or cloud service at every turn. Google overhears me lamenting over my moving to-do list on voice call and fills in my “how much to tip movers” query before I’ve gotten the third word typed out.

Tumblr never even tried.

They could have. The information is there. The basic infrastructure, presumably, exists. Tumblr can recommend me tags based on tags I follow, blogs based on blogs I follow, even posts that for one reason or another may strike my fancy. Tumblr could be - SHOULD be - funneling this framework into advertising, as the only means that free-to-use social media platforms can turn a profit in our capitalistic hellscape.

They just don’t.

Today I saw an ad for treating Hyperhidrosis - a condition, I think, in which a person sweats too much - and I saw it twice, four posts apart, and it is so incredibly benignly impersonally ineptly untargeted toward me compared to all other pinpoint-aimed advertising that I’m endeared to it. Tumblr knows NOTHING about me. 8 years, 51,000 likes, and tumblr has not learned a THING about me.

Advertisements for a mattress? Shitty mobile game ads that don’t make even the slightest pretense at being anything other than a candy crush rip-off? Choose-your-own adventure games either about Royal Espionage or Choosing The Wrong Dress For Your Date with ZERO in-between.

And then this. This here. The culmination, the crown-jewel of tumblr’s nihilistic non-compliance with the state of social media advertising. Any pretense of capitalistic exchange is abandoned at the gas station by the side of the road. This is not a company. This is not a product. This is not anything that fulfills the contract of consumer and seller. 

THIS. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR HAS TO OFFER INSTEAD.

“Pour vinegar on your bread, fuck you.”

“Put it in the garbage, fuck you.”

“Your wife says you’re a fucking dumbass, fuck you.”

That’s it. That’s the advertisement. You vinegar-breadless cuck. You virgin extraordinaire bereft of bread and garbage can. I am fucking your wife right now in our vinegar-soaked motel bed. She puffs a cigarette which I pulled from the trashcan and we both laugh heartily at her recounts of your immasculine ineptitude. I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you. Fuck you. 

Amazing. Amazing. What a state of things to ring in 2021. What a great platform we all collectively choose to be on.

[biglawbear]

I started screenshotting my favorite ads

Just fucking take a bite out of your soap you piece of shit. Sleep with it and eat it

I don’t even know what this is trying to sell me. Tumblr doesn’t either. The ad doesn’t know either. Did I click on the link? Fucking absolutely. I think it was broken

Beautiful a+ 10/10

[nightapproaches]

A compilation of my favorites:

[phantomrose96]

Hi listen I know I’m OP but I’m losing my fucking mind over this.

[pisss-offf-ghostt]

Truly, this is what tumblr is about.

[thesassyducks]

Happiness is a Gosling recognising you, and running excitedly towards you. His name is Sam btw 

(Source)

[thefirstanomally]

We absolutely would’ve domesticated dinosaurs and they would’ve looked just like that running to greet us.

[boxheadpaint]

man have i got some great news for you

[sixpenceee]

[warriorofdune]

Saturday plans

[stevowie-deactivated20260302]

+Sunday

[heedra]

Clyde.

[rslashrats]

i drew fanart of Clyde. i hope you like it

[heedra]

RESOUNDINGLY positive feedback

[the-most-beautiful-duwang]

do not separate them…..

[overlyactivepingpongball]

Starter Pokémon in Ohio

[computationalcalculator]

I’ve been trying to find this post again for ages

[guerrillatech]

[third-nature]

🔮 like to charge 🔮

🔥 reblog to cast 🔥

🌎 for good news on earth day 🌍

[crittizen]

ik we were on a boycott buuut

[technicallynotdeadyet]

LETS DO IT

[swordshapedleaves]

[squided]

this is what mitch mcconnell saw right before he woke up this morning

[arumeus]

C’mon prophecy.

[carnival-phantasm]

Could you fill me in on the whole grape-kun thing?

A japanese zoo, Tobu Zoo, had a colab with the anime Kemono Friends where they added cutouts of the anime characters to the enclosures of the matching animals to attract visitors and stuff, one of these characters being Hululu, an airhead anthropomorphic Humboldt penguin:

Grape-kun, an old humboldt penguin who’d been abandoned by his former mate due to his health issues, started showing a lot of interest for the cutout, staring at it for hours, trying to reach it on top of the tall rock where it was placed, and even trying to court it.

Of course, Kemono Friends already being a surprise hit show, the thing went viral and tons of art, jokes and other content were made. Even after the colab was over, the zoo didn’t remove Grape-kun’s sunshine, and Hululu’s VA Ikuko Chikuta even visited Grape-kun during an educational event:

Unfortunately, Grape-kun was already old and his health started to deteriorate. He was removed from his enclosure for treatment, along with his muse of course, that was placed next to him. On october 12, 2017, Tobu Zoo announced that Grape-kun passed away, with Hululu by his side in his final moments. Once again Grape-kun started trending, this time in a sadder tone as fans, visitors and part of the Kemono Friends staff paid their respects.

As a final homage to Grape-kun, a new cutout was added to the penguin enclosure in january 2018, immortalizing this romance:

And thus ends the tale of Grape-kun and Hululu. May our little Friend rest in penguin heaven with his anime wife, gone, but never forgotten.

[vimbry-moved]

in memoriam 

[scottsumrners]

every time someone talks about how “capitalism breeds innovation”, i think about the fact that capitalism killed the streaming service in less than ten years

[scottsumrners]

like…the entire point of netflix when it started was that you could log into one service and you could find thousands of different tv shows and movies in one place, for one price, AND you didn’t have to wait for several weeks to watch the conclusion of a tv show AND you didn’t have to worry about your favorite new show getting cancelled half-way through a season for lack of viewership.

and then every single other channel out there thought “hm. why are we using a third party site to do what WE could do ourselves?” except not a single one of them had enough material in their libraries to do what netflix was doing. but they still pulled all their content out of netflix anyway and tried to do what netflix was doing. and then disney decided to do it as well, which… essentially just killed netflix.

but not only did they kill netflix, they just restarted cable! the whole point of a streaming service was being able to watch one show in one go, over a weekend or something. but bc these services don’t have enough material to keep people invested on paying every month, they have… to…. release shows one episode at a time, so that by the time one show ends they can roll out a new one and keep the subscriptions. which just? defeats the point?

and now we’re all just. back to torrenting one episode at a time, because nobody is paying for “cable…but on the internet”. all because capitalism breeds innovation

[thestomping-ground]

Re-blog to be Godzilla’s friend

[arumeus]

I will always and forever be Godzilla’s friend.

[everythingfox]

Dogs playing a game. Rules are a mystery

[pajamboree]

for anyone curious both dogs are wanting to chase the other so they keep saying imma get you in dog body language to initiate one of them to take off but neither one wants to be the chase-ee so it’s just spin time babeey

[mioxenoblade]

WE POPPIN THE BIGGEST BOTTLES TONIGHT

[mioxenoblade]

HAPPY RUSH LIMBOG OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL HIS STUPID NAME IS DEAD DAY!

[mioxenoblade]

What yall bringing to the Rush Limbo is dead party? I was thinking I'd bring the John McCain is Burning in Hell Chili!

[mioxenoblade]

CLAIMS TO BE PROLIFE

DIES ANYWAYS

[battleclaw63]

You people are sick someone just died, show a little humility for God sakes

[rui-cifer]

Rush Limbaugh used to have a segment where he read people who died of AIDS during the height of HIV/AIDS epidemic in the USA, where he'd play bells and music celebrating their deaths. LGBT+ people doing the same is just desserts for his years of public celebration of our death. It's only a pity that he can't die over and over until he's died the same amount of times as the AIDS patients he mocked.

[arumeus]

We celebrate the passing of this vile mound of human excrement. May he rot forever, unmourned and tortured.

[swimmingferret]

Cleaning symbiosis is a mutually beneficial association between individuals of two species, where one (the cleaner) removes and eats parasites and other materials from the surface of the other (the client). (x)

[wildlifemajor]

Mutuals do this

[catchymemes]

[theleopardspot]

[arumeus]

🤘🏻

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[kamenotaku]

crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten

[birdhug]

i like them..