Ash

I am in the process of Trying New Things He/They Please please tell me about history and language. I love history and language.

[blignick]

[doggirlpaws]

When I see a video of a cat minding its own business with nothing else going on I unmute immediately cause I know that mf is about to make a funny noise

[tonysaintborgi]

pushed over by ghosts! sad

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[nullen-void]

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

[beaft]

i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"

[beaft]

while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"

well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question

[beaft]

third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"

i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."

and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3

[beaft]

@luckyybones hope you don't mind me screenshotting but you are actually so correct

[gertritude-art]

nightly spiral

[sigynpenniman]

this is my favorite fuckin comic ever I have never seen something capture the experience so well

[loveridden1999]

in a way i am my own dead wife

[victusinveritas]

[gaykomaegi]

absolutely love this shot where rose is watching her home planet die off after five billion years and the doctor is just slaying off in the corner

[crystal-mouse]

Same image

[bushoutforbela]

Is this anything

[no-one-offical]

‎

[artfight]

'Twas the night before Theme Reveal...

[parakeet]

got the bus back home today and it was my fav bus driver, he let me on for free. went to tap my card but he just said 'beep!' and was like on you go. lol. then he nearly ran a red light and slammed on the breaks, almost sending the gaggle of older ladies at the front careening to the ground. he had to slam on the breaks and jolt the whole bus a second time later in the route because of a rogue lollypop man who'd come out because of roadworks. one of the old ladies said 'am glad ave nae got any eggs! ha ha!' and everyone on the bus laughed jovially. kind of a sitcomesque bus journey

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

“oooh i need junji ito to write me an essay” okay so youre a little baby so youre a little baby waby who needs mommys help

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

not junji ito. where did he come from. this is supposed to say chatgpt

[kla1991]

[pjackk]

Beware The Bitches That Be like Dot Dot Dot Before They SAy Shit

[ash-ish-to-ashes]

“Hurricane” sounds so much like “Heart of Stone” from SIX and that’s so fucking funny

Light Yagami (theatre kid, clearly) hearing Jane Seymour’s song about her love for her son and feelings about her husband: Hey I could make this about murder!

[pitchburgh]

saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"

nature is healing

[augustdementhe]

FUCK YEAH.

[jame7t]

like why are mobile games allowed to lie about what they are in ads. wasn’t that illegal at one point

[sanitymakesposts]

nothing is illegal in the CYBER WORLD

[jame7t]

let me out of the fucking CYBER WORLD

[lieve-muis]

You still have time. Time to change your wardrobe. Time to get divorced and married again. Time to change majors. Time to learn a trade from scratch. Time to pay off debts. Time to travel. Time to love and be loved. You still have your whole life ahead. Whether you're 19 or 66. You still have so much time. But you have to take it.

[elliespectacular]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

The joke is already funny!

Further additions or permutations may weaken its potency!

[princessfelicie]

⚠️ WAR ⚠️

The joke r funny!

Fur r i m a ma we e e !