I Uhh….. @ashthephoenix - Tumblr Blog

Someone: everybody makes mistakes

The ghost of Hannah Montana that lives inside my brain, rising from her long-forgotten grave: 🎶everybody makes mistakes🎶

Me: oh god not again

Her: 🎶everybody has those days🎶

Me: Miley it’s been a decade please

Her: 🎶everybody knows what, what I’m taking bout🎶

Me: *beating her back with a shovel* back! Back ye foul beast! Return to the foul pit from whence thy came

Her: *crawling back into her pit backwards like a spider* 🎶everybody makes mistakes🎶

#hannah montana #disney channel #what’s the opposite of nostalgia #it’s not cringe #also hi #I’m not dead

eemamminy-art

I want to make a rebloggable version of this thought since I had this happen last night and this morning on the same artwork, on a different artwork last week, and in general it's something I have to deal with more often than I'd like.

If you have an issue with a character or a ship, for fucks sake, don't air out those grievances on someone's creative work!!

It's fine to not like something, but it's really hurtful to leave a reply or tag it, or as was the case these last two times, put your opinions in the body of the post underneath the artwork. The artist or writer or gif maker can see that!! It sucks!! It's hurtful! And especially if you put it in the post itself it can potentially generate a discussion about criticizing the character or ship on what was otherwise a post celebrating it.

If you see a work on your dash and think, "I don't like the subject of this work" please just make your own post or complain to your friend. But stop putting those grievances on someone's creative work and shitting all over their good time. I would rather someone not reblog my art at all than to reblog it with a rude comment.

eemamminy-art

Reblogging this again because someone thought my art was a cool place to describe their fantasies about murdering a character they don't like :) Enjoy being blocked! Make your own fucking post next time!!!!

viiioca

i've had to deal with this a number of times as a creator during my prolonged prison sentence in fandom and i dont really have anything to add except this:

#this reminds me of the time someone left several comments on a fic I wrote on ao3 #all ranting about how much he hated one of the female characters in the fic #each one was multiple paragraphs long #I was like Jesus Christ dude #go take your thinly veiled misogyny elsewhere #like at least if you’re talking in the tags it’s just directed at you/your followers #comments on ao3 are for the author #I’ve gotten some rude comments on fics before but that instance was just baffling

emmaklee

Ao3 is Down again and I am Scared

#ao3 #fanfic

in-this-crystal-kingdom

TAZ when I'm at home: "Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives, and with each moment we spend with those people. But, too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others. And by the time we realize just how important it is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with."

TAZ when I'm at work: "HEY THUG WHAT’S YOUR NAME? I'M ABOUT TO TENTACLE YOUR DICK!"

ashthephoenix

No you don’t understand I listened to the ENTIRETY of balance at work. I ugly sobbed in full view of my coworkers during the finale. I STOOD NEXT TO MY BOSS while listening to the macelroys graphically describe removing the philosophers stone from magnus’s guts bc I couldn’t pull out my phone to pause it. I have experienced the full spectrum of human emotion and some shrimp emotions besides at the hands of those boys, and I did so in front of god and everyone. The fact that none of my coworkers have ever asked if I’m okay says more about my workplace culture than it does about my ability to keep a straight face. And do I regret it? Absolutely not

#breaking my two year long hiatus just to rant about listening to podcasts at work #also hey guys #I’m not dead!

queenjulia24

HOLD UP HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

lichpire

was gonna leave my comment in the tags but tbh i’m silent enough about this as it is.

seeing stuff like this is so upsetting because these terms were well known and widespread in the ace community but because of exclusionists many people stopped using terms like this because they felt uncomfortable and unsafe.

i loved these terms when i was in highschool, i loved the feeling of community, but i lost that because i didn’t feel comfortable openly and proudly calling myself asexual.

they’ve hurt so many people and damaged our community badly and i will never forgive them for that. we deserve to use our own terminology and feel safe within our community.

running-batty

Yeah the ace community has so much. We were told to stay of the lgbt and make our own group, so we did. And it was glorious! Full of fun, great advice and useful terms likes these.

Then the terms, exculsionists and other bigots realized we had a strong community without them where were felt normal and they couldn't deal with that.

So they dozed people, sent death threats, filled our tags with vivid images of gore, animal abuse, child abuse, porn and even child porn.

They stalked us and screamed at us claiming we weren't victims that any abuse we may have faced was actually "misplaced homophobia" and then proceeded to repeatedly abuse us while gaslighting us all. People were attacked in real life.

Most people stopped talking about thier asexuality. Many left the site permanently. The community was destroyed and then they went back to talking about how we were just trying to be special straight people. Mocking us after doing thier damned best to snuff us out.

And now they point to our destroyed communities as "proof" that it was a fad and that we are all ether represed guys or straight homophobes.

Its infuriating. And worse, there are young aces being fed those lines of being broken, selfish and disgusting all over again.

imfemalewarrior

Yup

Sometimes I wonder if they pushed us to make our own community so we would be easier targets

Now they act like it didn't happen and we shouldn't be angry with them for it

No, you destroyed my community. You bullied our members into suicide, into the closet, and offline. We're still in shambles from everything you did to us.

But we're still here. We survived despite your best efforts.

To any young aces who figured stuff out in recent years: there's ppl like me who started identifying as ace before all this went down. We can tell you what it was like and what our language is. All you have to do is ask.

-FemaleWarrior

lil-lycanthropy

I usually talk in the tags but I do just want to add:

I saw this post (just the OP) and I was so surprised honestly when I first saw it. I was like, “yeah, people used the card suits for their identities. It was a really big thing not too long ago and a cool way to identify yourself because aspec identities can vary.”

And then I did remember what happened with all the ace “discourse” which was outright bullying and bigotry. I used to identify as ace and aro (now ace lesbian but anyway) and I legit wanted a small ace of spades tattoo to represent that.

And it partially faded from my plans as I’ve discovered myself differently and it just didn’t suit my taste, but also because it was such a shameful and “cringe” thing. The amount of hatred people have for ace folks is why I’m still so reluctant to acknowledge the ace part of my identity, much less explore it. If you want to talk about an entire group within a community that was completely obliterated due to both external and internal bigotry, talk to any ace people. If you can find them. Because many of us are back in the closet.

My ace identity in the past was way more a target of bigotry than me being non-binary and/or lesbian. I hardly even mention it to anyone because I’m so worried about reaction. The GSA at my high school fell apart due to aphobia from one or more of the “leaders”.

Almost every aspect of the ace community was under intense scrutiny. We used to loudly and proudly share awful (read: well thought out and clever) puns and we had learned to value relationships outside of sex. We had rings, we had flags that were on pins and everywhere. We saw ourselves in so many characters.

And now? I see a post about asexuality once in a blue moon. And it is entirely. 100%. Completely. Due to “LGBT ONLY” “You’re just straight!” “Queer is a slur!” “You don’t face REAL oppression” exclusionists WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community.

What’s awful is that it’s such a recent thing. Ace people have always existed. Ace people have always been included in queer spaces, even though we didn’t necessarily have the language. Then the community built up, especially online (where I spent most my time). Then in 2015, exclusionists started raising their voices, and they recruited people to be bigoted within the community. 2018, I barely knew ANYONE who still openly identified as ace because they deleted their blogs or went back into the closet.

And then the community that we’ve built up has been decimated. To the point that people don’t know about the card suits and being aspec. When that was one of the things 90% of ace people used to put in their bio (♠️♣️♥️♦️).

So yeah. This post really hit me with how much we aces have been erased. Brutally. I look back on the past five years of asexual identity online and it has been shattered. I follow a lot of queer centric blogs, and I see aspec stuff once maybe every month or two because we’re still scared of the exclusionist movement.

Fuck exclusionists for forcing us into shameful silence. If you think you’re a “good lgbt” because you’ve kicked out aces and made us feel unsafe and unwelcome, then I hope you have a horrible day. I hope you see the consequences of your actions. I also hope you get hit with some lovely black ace rings, leaving scars that are not even a fraction as harmful as what we’ve had to deal with.

imfemalewarrior

This is exactly how I remember it going down. Thank you for speaking up about it because sometimes I wonder if what I remember happening happened because fairly often it feels like I'm the only one around from Before.

-FemaleWarrior

ashthephoenix

I remember the heyday of the ace community. It was beautiful. The amount of language and culture that’s been lost due to the “””discourse””” is a tragedy. One thing that I don’t hear about at all anymore where the wide range of aspec identities that existed. Demisexual is still in use, and I think I’ve seen grey-asexual used, but there used to be more. The one that I sorely miss is quoisexual/romantic (pronounced qua) aka wtfsexual/romantic. It was for ppl who couldn’t tell the difference between types of attraction or otherwise couldn’t tell who they were attracted to. It was a bit of a silly micro identity, but that’s still honestly how I feel, and now I just describe myself as queer and a shoulder shrug. That’s partially bc I’ve grown up and care less about precisely defining every element of my identity, but also some of the language that I would use to describe myself has been lost. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who remembers that specific term

#sorry for adding onto an already long post #damn I’m 21 I should not feel like the holder of ancient knowledge

hjartasalt

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

Huh

Huh

Huh

Hhhhhhh

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

0v9

lexeirikrleif

fruitloopghosty

biggest-goldiest-fish

GUYS WE NEED HELP TO FIX IT

smooththegoofyshark

The Balance!

gaudfish-naudsm

I’m tempted to just reblog and not like it

tiktoksthataregood-ish

thebibliosphere

D’yever go for a nap thinking “this’ll help clear my head” and you wake up worse than you were before? Yeah.

Also apologies if you see me putting the wrong words in places or getting words mixed up with others. I’ve been having a silent migraine (migraine without pain but all the other symptoms) for the last few days and sometimes my words get mixed up when this happens. So if I say something and it makes no sense, it’s me not you, feel free to ask for clarification lol

tyrannosauruscassie

Wait silent migraines are a thing??? I keep saying I have migraines but it doesn’t hurt and people look at me like I’m crazy

thebibliosphere

A lot of people think migraine means the head hurts exclusively, but that’s not actually how migraines work. Rather the headache is a symptom stage of a migraine, it just so happens to be the most common and noticeable symptom experienced by most people.

There’s four stages to migraine known as:

Predome.

Aura.

Headache.

Postdrome.

Not everyone will experience all of these stages (or even notices them), and for some of us predome, aura or postdrome can actually be worse than the headache itself.

For me, I tend to suffer from predome anywhere for up to a week before the migraine attack itself, (aura is not always guaranteed) which is why it took me so long to realize some of the symptoms I was having for my whole life was part of a migraine attack and I should have been medicating at the start of those symptoms not the headache itself which could sometimes take 3-4 days or more to manifest.

So you could also be experiencing something similar.

Postdrome for me is the worst part because while the pain is debilitating when it happens, with postdrome I get the “pain hangover” feeling which I can only sum up as “I got hit by a truck and survived”, followed by severe fatigue, physical weakness/shaking and serious bouts of depression and moodswings until things balance out again. Fun times.

My girl @jessicaoutofthecloset did a really good video on it recently that was really informative for a lot of folk who have no idea what migraines actually are—including those of us who had shit doctors and were told they were exclusively headaches!

Murdered by Migraines includes Closed Captions for those who need them.

thebibliosphere

@thesassysausage Here you go! In case your on mobile and the link doesn’t work properly. I’m noticing tumblr being weird about links rn.

ashthephoenix

(I apologize in advance for bitching/adding to this but I have Feelings)

Speaking of shitty doctors, I was once seeing a new psychiatrist and I told him that he can’t take me off Wellbutrin bc it pretty much completely gets rid of my migraines and he legit said something along the lines of “but would it really be worth it to stay on a medication just because it helps with headaches?” And I was like “??? Yes? It is? Migraines leave me unable to function for like a full 24 hours and the last time I went off this medication I had three in as many weeks?”

The perception that migraines are just headaches but worse is frustratingly widespread, even (apparently) in medical professionals, so I appreciate this post for spreading info on how migraines work and how they are different from headaches. Hell I didn’t know there was a term for the pre-migraine build up thing that I could never tell if I was imagining or not

gingerhaze

ashthephoenix

First of all I adore this. It’s beautiful and so, so relatable. That last line hit me like a punch to the gut, and I’m honestly tearing up. Second of all, halfway through this I went “wait, I recognize that art style. Noelle Stevenson???” And what do ya know, I was right.

It’s got me thinking about what nimona meant to me, as a tiny baby gay. Nimona was the first time I took a book off a bookshelf and saw me staring back. Fuck, I didn’t even know that at the time. If I’m remembering right, I read nimona for the first time the summer before freshman year of high school. I still thought I was a straight girl. But for some reason, unknown to me at the time but obvious in hindsight, I latched onto that book. Would’ve fallen into a fandom hole if I’d known how to do that at that age. And, well, the whole story’s so visibly queer that looking back on it, it’s obvious. Not that I knew that. Wouldn’t figure that out for at least another year or two.

....I don’t know where the fuck I was going with this. I’m not gonna say that nimona helped me discover my sexuality/gender, but it still meant a lot to me as a tiny baby queer.

And now, as an apology for this long ass comment that contains nothing of value, a picture of my cat.

veliseraptor

“I am a simple person with simple wants,” I say, scrolling through AO3 and ignoring fics for a variety of petty reasons

queerfarmgremlin

once I stopped reading a fic halfway through because it contained a flagrantly inaccurate depiction of how to use a hoe

thegodswife-deactivated20210709

i’ve stopped reading fics because the characters aren’t using the correct americanisms

ashthephoenix

I didn’t actually stop reading it, but I once spent like twenty minutes ranting about improper use of the dewy decimal system in a fic.

unpretty

on mbmbam they got an ask from someone who said they were always the slow kid and exercise never feels good and just feels like not being able to breathe and immediately i was like "you have undiagnosed breathing problems my dude"

solitarelee

I think that exact same time everyone’s like “I hated PE as a kid, I could never breathe and it hurt and even if I wasn’t tired my lungs were just aaaaa.” It’s. You have a medical disorder. Please see a doctor.

unpretty

yeah if you can afford to see a doctor and you're fat you're in luck because this is one situation that you can frame as "i'm trying to be a good fatty and exercise so i can be skinny but i can't because i can't breathe :( please doctor won't you help me to exercise" and if nothing else they might prescribe you an inhaler to see if that helps

ashthephoenix

Um??? I could have an actual medical condition?? I’m not just lazy or bad at running??? Like legit, any amount of running is torture. I did cross country for 2 years in middle school (don’t ask me why, I was a stubborn kid) and it never got better but nobody ever took my complaints seriously. Someone in the comments mentioned tasting blood every time they ran and I’m the same way! I swear I remember being told not to exaggerate for that exact thing. Never mentioned it to a doctor though bc I was told it was normal.

theroguefeminist

not to be a cat stan but nothing beats the pure oxytocin high when a cat that is wary of you for weeks or even months finally lets you pet them

lustformcgrath

same with your new gf

theroguefeminist

still not as good as cat

theroguefeminist

ok one thing beats it: the oxytocin high mixed w/ schadenfreude when that one cat that wont let anyone pet it lets you and ONLY you pet it deeming u the Cat Whisperer, the Chosen One

ashthephoenix

Sorry for adding but I can’t resist, so story time! I volunteer at a cat shelter, and I wholeheartedly back op on this magical phenomenon. A couple months ago there was one cat, Ginger, who was the sweetest most affectionate girl, but she also had hardcore kitty ptsd from losing her leg in a car accident right before we got her. She was as a result super protective of her space and had a habit of lashing out when touched in a way she perceived as a danger, so anywhere near the stump, and she also hated to be moved off her bedding. Which was bad, because she laid on it for long periods of time and we needed to change it. I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time as I would’ve liked since I had to actually do my job, but any chance I got Id be down with her showering her in affection, but she never swiped at me. Not because I was some kind of Car Whisperer, though my coworkers did call me that a couple times, but bc I was always super cautious with her. I kept away from her stump and made sure never to startle her, and admittedly I never attempted to change her bedding bc I knew that was a lost cause, but I did better than anyone else, who were either overly cautious and avoided her or weren’t cautious enough and got clawed. The part that always made me sad is that she loved attention. I haven’t met a more affectionate cat. She’d walk right up to me and demand pets and not leave until I had to go, and it broke my heart to see the other volunteers call her a problem cat or that she had a “Tortie ‘Tude” because she’d been through something traumatic. She got adopted a couple months back, and I haven’t heard anything new, which I’ve taken means she found a loving home willing to be patient and work with her. Really I would’ve adopted her myself, but I live with my parents and I know they didn’t want a traumatized amputee (not that I didn’t try to talk them into it). I am determined that once I get my own place, I’m gonna be adopting/fostering so many “problem “ kitties bc I really can’t imagine anything more rewarding.

Ok, as apology for this longass post nobody asked for, here are some pictures of Ginger:

(Perks of volunteering at a cat shelter, I have so many cat pics on my phone now)

delsinsrowes

The brutal killing took place while the family was gathered at home on a Sunday afternoon. [DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL NOW WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED] The day after the crime, the father went to the trunk of his car, retrieved the rifle, and shot his wife as she was cleaning up the kitchen after lunch. [YOU CAN’T TRUST THE TAP WATER] When his ten-year-old son came to investigate the commotion, the father shot him, too. His six-year-old daughter had the good sense to hide in the bathroom, but reports suggest he lured her our by telling her it was just a game. [204863] The girl was found shot once in the chest from point blank rage. The mother, who was shot in the stomach, was pregnant at the time.

unexplained-events

Really wish we had gotten this game

ashthephoenix

I will forever be mad about the loss of pt/silent hills. Pt was not only the most effective viral marketing campaign I’ve ever seen, but also an amazing horror game in its own right with a perfect understanding of how horror should work. The fact that it is no longer playable is a travesty in itself, never mind the loss of the final product