The Ghost of Francis Kinloch

Also known as Ghosts Make Dad Jokes, Too || Public service announcement: canon Francis had brown eyes, fanon Francis has green eyes (hair color is roughly the same).

[ask-francis-kinloch]

crash

[aidaronan]

Why do people stop commenting on fics if they’re more than a week or two old? Please comment on old fics. Tell me you like my one shot from 2014. Tell me you like my old multi-chap I finished in 2016 that I spent a year writing. I will be fucking thrilled.

[thefeistydragon]

Fics are not social media posts. There’s no “stalking” someone’s “old posts”. They’re meant to be found and enjoyed years down the line. No need to be nervous.

[plaidadder]

I reblog this message every time it comes across my dash because it’s true. And also: 

When I first started writing fanfic, back in the mid 1990s (yes! the late twentieth century!) one of the discouraging things about it was that people treated fanfic as if it was disposable. It seemed like what most readers wanted was a constant stream of new content, whereas I tend to produce one big work every 6-12 months. It made me sad that people seemed to think there was no point to re-reading or saving old fic. There is no sell-by date on fiction! It does not get out of order! It can still work even years or decades later! 

So yeah, I have stories up at ao3 that are literally a quarter-century old, and every time someone leaves a comment on them I am very pleased to get it. We get attached to our stories and it cheers us up to see that they are still finding readers. It means that they are still ‘alive,’ in some way. 

[ruffboi-mags]

AO3 is not social media, it’s (essentially) a library.

You’re meant to engage with any and all of it, regardless of age.

[dduane]

This. (And you could make a case that the older the fic on which feedback is received, the more it’s appreciated…)

[honeylemony]

[thestuffedalligator]

All the weird misinterpretations and revisions of Russian history aside, Anastasia is one of my favourite movies because its plot structure is so fucking weird

It’s a period piece romance. That’s cool, that’s all well and good, except that on the sidelines there’s an undead warlock who’s trying so hard to kill the protagonist, but all in ways that the protagonist either doesn’t notice or doesn’t accept as supernatural

And it isn’t a twist! The audience knows about the warlock! The warlock has a villain song! The warlock is one of the principal characters! But the protagonist spends 95% of the movie completely unaware of the warlock, and just spends the entirety of the movie doing period piece romance things while being repeatedly inconvenienced by the warlock until the climax, when the protagonist has to very suddenly

Acknowledge the existence of the warlock

Acknowledge the existence of the supernatural

See some real-ass goddamn magic

Kill the warlock

I have never seen a movie with a plot structure like this before, and I don’t think I’ll see one like it ever again. It’s like an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that turns Lady Catherine into a vampire who’s just repeatedly trying to drink Lizzy’s blood, but Lizzy doesn’t even notice until the climax whereupon she stuffs Lady Catherine’s mouth with garlic and cuts off her head (an adaptation I would kill to see, by the way). There are two completely different genres playing out at the same time, and one of them is trying to kill the other

Anyways that’s why the stage musical is bad, thank you and good night

[13thsongbird]

The only thing I’m adding to this is that Disney’s Hercules has almost the same hero-villain dynamic in that the protagonist and antagonist think they are the heroes of two wildly different stories, and the protagonist doesn’t really know the antagonist exists until the endgame starts. It’s so fucking bizarre. They also both came out in 1997, and feature a red-headed protagonist who starts the story trying to find out who their parents are and falls in love with a shady brunette with dubious intentions who winds up trying to sacrifice themselves so the protagonist can live/be happy. I dunno what this means, but coincidence? I think NOT!

[deathcomes4u]

Listen that was just the vibe of 97 alright some shit went down that year

[armedjoy]

[sculptingsuccess]

Look we all want a robo dog but if you kill someone with a sledgehammer to steal theirs, they are going to find you. There's no way a 75k$ dog doesn't have gps

[wotsukai-leftlmao]

we are killing the dog

[purplealchemist]

NO.

ALL DOGS ARE PRECIOUS.

Even robot ones.

[perigeeprincess]

its not a dog, its a machine used and designed for police surveillance and the entire reason they made it dog shaped is so idiots like you would go "awwww robot dog how precious" instead of seeing them as the oppressive tools they are.

we're killing the fucking dog

[bluelivesaintshit]

[tangent101]

That's not a robot dog.

It's a four-legged robot spider.

[riotouseaterofflesh]

It is not a dog, a spider, a chicken, a horse, a fish, a tick, a mosquito, a tapeworm or a baby

It is a weapon

There is nothing morally wrong about breaking weapons that are hurting people for any reason other than to prevent those people from hurting others worse

[roach-works]

the dog robots are fully capable of hurting people, and badly. failsafes that would prevent that have not been installed. the police are deploying a thing out in public that can maim anyone who touches it wrong.

look, when i was a kid i was passionately in love with the idea of robots--that humans would one day create another sort of intelligence to share our world with-- and believed very firmly that we should respect and protect all our robot friends from the start, so there would be no violent humans-against-robots revolution or anything.

anyway it turns out that the people trying to keep end-stage capitalism running are really banking on us feeling more love for the robots than for the kind of people they're going to be using the robots to oppress.

so like. maybe lets all agree right now that if a robot is being used to hurt a person, you need to smash the fucking robot. they're going to make the robots really cute. they're going to show us so many movies about how much robots need to be loved. and then they are going to use robots to hurt people.

let's try not to fall for it, okay?

[rapidashrider]

[daddynietzsche]

throwback to that time in my existentialism class where the professor asked ‘who thinks hell is other people’ and half the class slowly and meekly put their hand up

then the prof was like ‘…i mean who originally said it’

[annabellioncourt]

there are some posts that sound utterly made up for the joke or for the notes, but this one I whole heartedly believe 

[kurloz38]

Sounds right to me…

[jadagul]

That quote is amazing to me in that it’s quoted completely accurately and yet in a way that means something completely different from what it meant in context.

(Sartre was claiming that Hell was other people. He was not claiming that other people were hell.)

[sigmaleph]

…I can’t actually tell what distinction you’re drawing there. Can you expand?

[jadagul]

The line comes from No Exit, which is set in Hell. Spoilers for No Exit follow

In particular, three people who have been condemned to hell are trapped eternally in a room together. And at first they think they got off easy without any pitchforks or fiery lakes or anything. But over the course of the play they discover that they have been chosen very specifically to have neuroses and character flaws that interact with and torment each other.

Each one needs the approval of a second in an unstable RPS cycle so that any time one of them might be satisfied by a second, the third swoops in and ruins it.

And when they figure this out, one of the characters expresses his understanding, that hell isn’t physical torture. “Hell is just—other people.”

So the point isn’t that other people, generically, are hellish; it’s rather that you can build a hell out of other people.

But when I hear people quote it, it’s usually sort of an introvert-pride thing. “Other people are hell; you should spend time alone.” And that’s not the point at all. It’s a statement about how bad unhealthy relationships can be, not a statement about how all relationships are unhealthy!

See also Sartre’s own comment here:

“hell is other people” has always been misunderstood. It has been thought that what I meant by that was that our relations with other people are always poisoned, that they are invariably hellish relations. But what I really mean is something totally different. I mean that if relations with someone else are twisted, vitiated, then that other person can only be hell.

[diapordias-deactivated20180627]

Reblogging for the original post which was hilarious and also for that explanation which is beautiful

[yowastelandbaby]

When Emily Dickinson said "Susan I would have come out of eden to open the door for you if I had known you were there."

And when Hozier said "I slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door."

[dressedasgoblins]

This is a mural in Austin that someone vandalized either way still a nice message

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

@admiral-ampersand

[allieyy]

The original artist’s response:

And the “young artiste”’s response to their response: 

[cordspaghetti]

“There was something awesome about being at a truck stop at like two a.m. putting eyeliner on with big burly truckers everywhere. It was just really dangerous.”

[fantabulisticity]

YES. I found the exact quote:

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

HELL WORLD OH MY GOD

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

FBI is really just straight up developing Trojan horse apps now

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

[anisetheapothecary]

The people in the comments are amazing, like, half of them are saying “aren’t these the normal permissions for an fitness app?” And the answer is yes. Of course they are. Your regular fitness app is a takes a ton of data on you in order to function, and that data may or may not be stored with the company for a period of time.

But here’s the thing, when the FBI needs location data on someone, they need a WARRANT to get that information from that company, or that company’s cooperation. Back in the early 2000s, there were a number of companies that simply handed over data to letter agencies like the NSA or FBI, and they got roasted for it by their customers. Don’t fool yourself, the only reason why backdoors weren’t coded into your phones by companies like Apple is because they did the math and realized that the cost of cooperating and alienating their customer base was too high, not because these companies have ethics.

So we live in a climate where companies are promising users security and privacy, and when they don’t it’s a scandal that loses them customers and money. They aren’t playing nice with the FBI, so what is the FBI to do? Easy. Circumvent silicon valley.

There is exactly zero reason for the FBI, as an organization, to make entertainment apps. Educational is maybe in line with past practices, but even when they did stuff like that in the 90s, we called it out for the propaganda it was. This app is absolutely a trojan horse. This is so they can get the data you would normally give to a 3rd party company without a warrant.

Please, ffs, learn internet history. Go take a look at the EFF website and archives. Look up the patriot act and the AT&T scandal with the NSA from around 2004. Lots of people on here were barely children pre 9/11, but you can’t possibly understand surveillance and internet policing until you understand what happened to society and privacy from 2001-2010

[magicalkoalaphantom]

This is disgusting and should not be tolerated.

[papasmoke]

Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release

[papasmoke]

[verminsblood]

what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily

[demonius-darkblade]

to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.

[pedro-martines]

americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me

[imnotafeddammit]

1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.

2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.

3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.

4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”

5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.

It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.

[derkartoffelkonig]

Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.

Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).

They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.

They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.

[jimmyfury]

One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”

I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.

[brunhiddensmusings]

for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good

[official-lucifers-child]

shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??

[crazy-pages]

Just a casual reminder that this is what secret police are. Like, this is the literal definition. Police who are (badly or otherwise) pretending to not be police.

[swampgallows]

i know this has eight billion notes already but i love sharing these images

[chaoticchickengremlin]

This thread reminds me of this story lol

[felcemartello]

This sounds bonkers to me because in Italy it’s forbidden for cops to bait you to commit a crime, if they do and you cave in they end up in jail

[3liza]

it is 100% legal for cops to lie to you in the united states, about anything they want to, at any time during any contact with you. they do plenty of illegal stuff too but never get in trouble for it

i got one of these guys one time responding to an internet ad to buy something (maybe Craigslist? i cant remember). he tried to bait me into prostitution and when i said no and “are you a cop?” there was the longest, most awkward pause you have ever seen before he just said “….no.”

they can lie to you about being a cop too, the thing you see on tv about “cops have to tell you they’re cops” is bullshit, i only asked because i wanted to see how he acted. anyway yeah this is why Americans seem so squirrelly to Europeans

[obama-stolemy-vcr]

This is always good info to have and REALLY came in handy in 2020

[thetetrarchyofcassidy]

Learn to spot pigs in human clothes

[hiveswap]

Could we crash tumblr if we all posted the word "crash" on the 1st of april 2022, 12:35 EST?

[hiveswap]

Everyone schedule

[hiveswap]

Pm

[go-learn-esperanto]

Doing it again since I accidentally put the wrong time zone

Event Time Announcer - Tumblr - Crash

Event Time Announcer shows time for Tumblr - Crash in locations all over the world. In New York it happens on Friday, April 1, 2022 at 12:35

So everyone can find their time :3

[hiveswap]

You may ask, "Jenna, why do you want this? Isn't there enough suffering in the world?" Well, you are right. But I want to scare the owners of this site. Not @staff, you know damn well they don't actually call the shots. No, i want to scare the people who make decisions. I want them to know that we can act as a unit and wreck shit on our own accord, that this community can move mountains. I want them to hesitate next time they make an announcement. Popular sovereignty, motherfuckers.

[gelatinous-cat]

I know most people know this but some people in the notes don't, so reminder that you don't have to wake up or anything to post it, just schedule the post like this:

now you just hit the blue schedule and forget about it until the day it happens 👍

[demonboyhalo]

oh hell yeah im doing this gamers join us

[pinkpop1997]

i love this because everyone ive seen who's reblogged this is like "yeah okay whatever" like nobody's really excited about this it's just something we all feel the need to do because it's our duty to keep this website as uninhabitable as the fucking mariana trench

[kat]

only one way to find out 😏

[cyle]

tumblr queue publisher service when 12:35 PM hits

[groon]

a member of tumblr staff said this so chances are this site is going down like the fucking titanic

[sparrow-ceiling]

reblog and put in the tags what comes up when you type "i want"

[dickiesgrayson]

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

[crinosg]

I mean yeah this is exactly what would happen.

Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”

If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”

And on that ride home:

Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.

Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.

Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?

Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.

Gordon: Nice.

[jeeperso]

and you just know Alfred has a veritable host of “embarrassing early morning bruce” pics and video raring to go, like after a “skiing accident” to cover up a particularly nasty bat-injury in the line of duty

“I’m fine Alfred.”

“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”

(source is Harley Quinn season 2, episode 5, but I can see this as part of Dave Willis’ “Happy Bruce” headcanon

[crinosg]

I think the villain reactions would be priceless as well.

Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.

Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.

Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.

Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.

Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?

Rest of the villains:……

Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.

Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.

Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.

Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?

Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.

Riddler: Goddammit I hate you so much Joker. So fucking much. I can literally taste how much I hate you.

[vickyvicarious]

really, a shame we never got a scene like this:

Nate, planning a con: "Eliot, you're going to take her out."

Eliot: [pauses] "Like..." [somewhat hesitant garroting gesture]

Nate: "Wh- no, like on a date."

[vickyvicarious]

or the sequel (ideally later on in the same episode):

Nate, over comms: "Eliot, take her out."

Eliot: [pauses, blinks at the security guard] "What, like on a date?"

Nate: "No! Knock her out!"

[onyxbird]

For extra fun, a setup where the earbuds are glitchy for some reason, so he has to confirm Nate's order via gesture, and Eliot makes a gesture that he thinks communicates "Like, seduce her?" and Nate confirms thinking he was pantomiming, e.g., tie her up and stash her somewhere, and things go off the rails from there.

[vickyvicarious]

Hardison insists that one or both of them is henceforth banned from Charades as a consequence. via @onyxbird

good!! I have faith in their ability to figure something out eventually but I love the thought of the debrief afterwards where Nate gets roasted for misunderstanding the sign and Eliot gets teased for somehow successfully managing to Distract someone who was actively hostile a few minutes previous he has a date to avoid now and he debased himself for nothing. thanks a LOT Nate. via @wolves-in-the-world

this is all very fun to picture, thank you both. I would like to add that (a) this absolutely becomes a Leverage meme. When they find out Sophie and Nate are together, Hardison will ask, "Did you..." and trail off into the seduction/abduction gesture. Parker does the same when Eliot brings Quinn to help the team. "How'd you get him here, was it" [gesture] or [very much the same gesture]?"

and (b) I gotta wonder if perhaps this inspires Hardison to start a game of Charades. Like, they already had planned family time hanging out, he'd heckled people into agreeing to play some sort of games with him. So when Eliot shows up at the end of the episode (with takeout, to complete all three meanings) (also possibly ditching his date and grumbling at the accompanying teasing), it's to Hardison and Sophie conspiring to begin a game of Charades. They all force Nate and Eliot to be on the same team, because no one else wants to deal with them, and when they protest claim this is a "learning experience" for them. It's a moot point anyway, since Hardison is the true MVP and anyone with him on their team is guaranteed to win regardless, but they both insist they aren't that bad and get mad at the other one for misinterpreting what they consider very obvious gestures.

[onyxbird]

Hardison starts including "(se/ab)duction" as a step in his planning slides. It means "Eliot removes this person from their post, one way or another."

Eliot and Nate both hate it, meaning he suggests it as frequently as possible.

[onyxbird]

Since this formulation only really works well in text, Parker ends up truncating the concept to "'duction." This works fine (aside from aggravation of Eliot and Nate), as long as it stays within the core team who is familiar with the source. But as they enter the Leverage Redemption era...

Parker: "Hmm, we could use a 'duction."

Breanna and Harry both look puzzled. Eliot lets out an exasperated groan and walks out of the room. Sophie looks briefly confused, before Eliot's reaction triggers recognition and she begins to laugh instead.

Harry: "...I don't think they're stationed near any of the vents?"

Parker: "Huh? Eliot doesn't need them near the vents."

Eliot returns.

Harry: "Oh, Eliot does the...'ducting'?"

Sophie dissolves into a snort-laugh. Eliot rolls his eyes.

Parker: "Yes!"

Eliot, sighing: "She just means I need to get 'em away from their station so they won't see y'all. Simple enough."

Parker: "Yeah! Like he 'ducted you!"

Eliot: "I did not! ''Duction' implies the person is stationed at a particular location. Harry was robbing the damn museum and trying to make his escape!"

Harry: "OK, but you're gonna get rid of them...by...putting them in the ducts?"

Eliot: "What? No! I don't work in the damn vents!"

Harry: "But..." 😕

Breanna: "I think he's trying to ask what makes it, uh, 'ducting'? 'Duction'? If it doesn't involve the ductwork."

Sophie: "It's short for seduction slash abduction. It means Eliot is going to get them away for their post, with methodology yet to be determined."

Breanna: "Ohhhhhh! Wait...Does this mean there was an option of Harry getting seduced instead of..." *pumps her fist in an overhand swing, as if bringing the side of her fist down on someone's head*

Eliot, looking pained: "Please do not do that. That's how this whole mess got started in the first place."

[vickyvicarious]

Just realized this whole conversation was basically rewriting this joke:

Marvelous.

[zoesupreme]

Most of you know already that I use a modded Spotify premium apk to use Spotify with full features and no ads on my phone completely free. If you have an android and feel the urge to delete Spotify bc of Joe Rogan but still wanna have access to all your favorite music consider stealing their services instead

[frottinq]

also use YouTube Vanced to watch YouTube videos without ads and be able to turn ur screen off and listen in the background and all the features of YouTube premium! except for downloading videos to your phone

[starlightomatic]

Losing it at Christian Omer 1 & 2 and Yom St. Patrick Hakodesh