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Don't feel bad if you are overweight

Just think of Garfield. He is loved by everyone. Come to think of it my neighbors cat is fat and is loved by everyone.... but I'm getting off topic. Point is overweight does not equal unlovable.

#randon thought #randon thoughts

jluiette-deactivated20161129

askflashfire

there are people here who think this isn't what actually happened in the show

smashingthornberrygifs

zahbeth

HE HAS FUCKIN SHOWER CAPS ON HIS MUSTACHE

emwellness-deactivated20150501

AND HE’S THE FUCKING LITTLE MERMAID ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER

p-is-for-potatoe-deactivated202

HE IS ALL THE ANIMALS

aceinhyperspace

IF YOU DON’T NEED THIS, YOU’RE WRONG

recommend

Dog Ruins Every Frame of Google Street View by Chasing the Camera (x)

askflashfire

you mean he made them better

hannahhillam

I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

coffeeandstring

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

fatsexybitch

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

hollowedskin

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

everydayconman

shotfromguns

some friends of mine have the most un-cat-ish cat i have ever met

my quintessential example of this:

i was holding him in my arms petting him while we were picking out what games to play that night. when we’d decided on a few, i needed to put the cat down in order to, you know, carry boxes. so i started letting him down, expecting that he’d eventually do the cat hop thing… but he never did.

i ended up lowering him all the way to the floor. and even then he never got his feet under him. i just sort of… plopped him down on his side as he stared up at me like a betrayed sack of flour.

askflashfire

A BETRAYED SACK OF FLOUR

Drinking game

In Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep every time they say darkness or heart take a sip of beer. (Don't want to be the cause of alcohol poisoning)

#drink responsibly #there is no winning this #kingdom hearts #birth by sleep

ultrafacts

Source: [x]

Click HERE for more facts!

askflashfire

GOODEST OF BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

trashcannie

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.

jasperzilla

You missed some of the best ones

dragonastra

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

vashthestampedee

How could you forget this one though

akamine-chan

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

solongstarbird

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

gay-jesus-probably

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

todayiwrotenothing

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

secretsfromwholecloth

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”

queen-of-heck

ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!

extremedistressorstellarblowjob

I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life

galahadiant

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

cat-vee-deactivated20240417

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

claydart

Two things:

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.

2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple

speckled-light

I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

0-memento-mori-0

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor

theresagooseinthemainframe

He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god

politicalcdnmama

It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.

barnhead

I personally use Black 2.0 for some of my work and its genuinely fantastic (I used it on my Sally Face painting most recently), if you can you should get some!