“It suits you,” Kageyama mumbled out of the blue, his eyes on anywhere but you. It came out of nowhere especially when you're just enjoying your hot cocoa besides him in his porch. When his gaze back on you, while you're confused by his sudden statement. which was enough to make him flustered and elaborate what's he had said.
“the jacket i mean—” his hands shot up, trying to shake off this feeling that makes his stomach doing somersaults over his own words “it looks good on you..?” Kageyama's words trailed off, and he looked away. In which, he received a giggle from you. It was a relief, at least you understood what he's trying to say.
“that's so sweet of you,kags.” you spoke, leaning to rest your head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, but one thing for sure— you did get to see his smile and reddened ears. Besides, it's his jacket.
why he even stayed, why he tried to sort this relationship out. When it's clearly falling apart, and he's walking on eggshells.
Despite that, he still tells you “we can make this work,” as if you're both working on a puzzle that were about to finished. Yet, you doubt that it will, because you will pull it in the end— letting it fall and ruined.
it's freezing, and there's nothing to warm him up.
“stop— you're taking the blanket all for yourself,yn.” he grumbled, tugging onto the blanket, the one you both AGREED TO SHARE. Though, he's seeing the opposite of this whole agreement. In which, you're wrapping yourself up with the 'shared' blanket, leaving him blanketless.
at this point, he rather have his own blanket than sharing with you. Since you're pretty much dead when you're asleep. Besides, it's pointless arguing in the middle of 4am right now and he's exhausted. he guessed another night of getting freezed, even though he did try to squeeze him in with the blanket that was left from your burrito sleep.
...
“don't we have like a blanket at home? Why are you buying another one?” you questioned, touching the fabric of it. It's Soft. He shrugged, telling you he thought it'd be nice to have an extra (since you won't share it unconsciously in your slumber)
“i. had. enough.” he said with a fit of rage, throwing the crumbled up star at the wall. Apparently,he has been trying for a solid 15 minutes to try fold a perfect, lucky star that you have teached him earlier. Infact, you suggested that you both should make it together, and put it a jar for fun.
but after trying for so many times, just for it to be failed attempts. and he is NOT happy about it. That's how he ended up here, grumbling and folding the paper over and over again. While you were there, witnessing his crankiness over folding an origami that he can't do it perfectly (in his opinion.)
Then, you took his star next to yours. Holding both of it up infront of his face, which his frown deepens in response. “it look fine,babe—it even looks like mine! ” you assured him, smiling widely at him. His shoulder sagged, muttering incoherent words under his breath.
“how the hell do you do it like that? I can't get it right.” a frustrated groan came from his lips, his eyebrows furrowed while he focused on folding the paper carefully more this time. “practice makes perfect,” you simply replied, nudging his leg with yours with a smile.
he stayed silent, or morelike all of his attention is on the paper itself than you. Though, you can see he is giving his best, really.
Someday,sooner or later—he will get this shit right, be better than you. Just so he could give you a jar of perfect stars. (plus,your reactions.)
ATSUMU,Suna,Nishinoya,RIN ITOSHI...and your favs.
AN** I do not have any thoughts for chars, so up to you...
you running down the empty street, at late evening with suna isn't something new. Especially whenever he walked you back to home, it is the best feeling ever.
“come down here! Run with me!” you called out, stopping in your track to turn and look at him. To which suna was holding his phone up, the one he always carried everywhere.
And god knows, he is saving that picture in his favorite album for sure. Suna always does, nonetheless.
the old patchwork quilt in his hand, handing it to miwa within a big frown visible on his face. “do you want me to fix it?” miwa asked, taking the quilt from him to only he responded with a nod. Ever since their grandpa's death, he have been sleeping with this quilt, their grandpa always used it whenever it's winter.
The quilt was old, having a stain of coffee on it. But it was memories stitched with love, nostalgia. Handmade,even.
it brings sense of comfort, warmth that Kageyama longed for, after seeing his grandpa getting burried deep inside the ground. He tried calling for him, but his grandpa didn't even respond at all, like he used to. And he hates that, he won't see the person he looks up to ever again.
Miwa examine the quilt, it can still be fixed despite being shabby a little. Besides, kageyama really loves this quilt, he can't even sleep without it. So she better get it fix quickly as possible,with so much care. Like their grandpa had given them.
“why can't grandpa just stay?” kageyama asked suddenly, his eyes speaking for his sadness itself. Miwa stayed silent, knowing their grandpa's death pains them to bits.
“...”
“why? ”
His question left unanswered.
After that, the house have been nothing but grief. A reminder for all the memories they had made, but this time, their grandpa is nowhere to be found in the house. Sometimes, Kageyama is unsure what to do afterwards. But he still kept playing volleyball either way, despite being alone to face the challenges without the support of his granda,who was dead long ago.
it's life, the purpose to reach goals, to achieve what he had set straight,clear as crystal. He's alone to brace it himself though, he's alone.
(> an. that was until hinata comes!! lighten up his life,i suppose.)
Kenma grumbled, tapping on his phone slightly aggressively, enough to make his irritation noticeable. He was never the kind to argue over something so absurb, especially over an apple flavor lolipop. Infact,he just stayed silent, which you do too, plus savouring the lolipop in your hands (screw you,he thought.)
But this time, he was getting impatient. Practice is starting, and you weren't helping either.
“cmon,yn?”
“hm...”
“yn? ”
“ice cream. After practice.”
His nose scrunched, eyebrows furrowed. Seriously? You're doing this on purpose atp and not even bothering hiding it. Kenma could only groaned, frustrated. This is going nowhere, and irritating.
“deal.”
Kenma agreed reluctantly, at least he'll get that shit either way. As he took the lolipop from your hand away with a bored, annoyed look. Not bothering to even look at you one bit, he rather have Kuroo bother him instead.
Whenever it's English class, the teacher would have a bowl filled with lots of lolipops for the students during class. Within that, the apple flavor lolipop is rarest out of all flavors (apparently, the teacher just put some in it, in Kenma's observation.) and you just hadd to snatched it before him, Infront of him too.. be for real,like right now.
In order to avoid that, it is necessary for a help from his friends to take the apple flavors for him BEFORE you can, so this wouldn't happen again. And maybe you can't hold him down to buy whatever you want for him to take the lolipop (that should be HIS.)
Running outside while it's pouring and they call out to you, scolding you because you'll get sick if you stay out there. To which you ignored them and drag them too, playing together under the rain (it wasn't that raining heavily but enough to make you sick)
And now you're sick, and somehow their immune system r better than you so they're taking care of you. Tuck in bed, you wonder why and it's weird, because they didn't even said “I told you.” during nursing you back to health as they're helping you wear your socks right now.
“whoa, you..can play a piano? You should have told me, n/n!” Nishinoya swore, the way you played was gracefully. And he couldn't be more than happy to listen again, not that he was even subtle about it. Besides, his excitement was blooming pretty well through his expression.
It was at your grandmother's house, during your summer break with Nishinoya. You thought it'd be better to stay indoors because the heat was practically unbearable. (and to avoid bad sunburn that would cost a scolding from your mother) By then, there was a Casio MT-45,maybe one of your mother's belongings. She never really tell you about music, besides your father.
Perhaps, it won't hurt to give it a try,right? You're already familiar with this kind of instrument, due to your father had taught you about it. So, you decided, you'll play it.
Just you didn't expect to see your friend, Nishinoya to be amazed by your (average) skill. Even though, you kind of messed up some notes since it been a while you touched a piano.
In addition, he asked (more of a beg,but still) for you to play one more song and you complied. Since he'll probably bug you until you agree, which is expected coming from Nishinoya.
..
The knock on your door sounds quite familiar, as if you're alone in this house you shared with a certain someone. But his presence alone already makes your lips curved into a small smile.
“n/n, can I come in?” Nishinoya spoke, peeking through the door with a contemplation expression. You muttered a “yeah.” while scribbling down your work, unfinished.
“what brings you here,hm?” well, he must have something, because why would he come in during your ‘me time’? Pretty obvious. “remember during our high school summer break? When you played your mother's piano?” you hummed, nodding to his question. As a way to acknowledge that you heard him, and agreeing in the process.
“it'd be nostalgic if you can play it again,you know?” Nishinoya said, while leaning on the back of your chair with a grin—a grin that says it all. Oh please. “so?” you spoke, knowing where this is going, and looked at him.
“I bought us a piano!” He exclaimed excitedly. You could swear that his grin was getting wider as he spit out his words. “you meant,for me? Because I'm the one who will play us a song,Yū.”
“Yeah,But it's going to be amazing!” Both of you shared a laughter, and oh boy, you sure don't mind playing songs for him,do you?
In the end, whenever you play any music instruments, you could always see how Nishinoya's eyes lit up,his grin growing wider everytime you play one of his request songs (sometimes questionable even,but whatever) and today, won't be any different.
cw : suicidal behavior/thoughts. suicidal! Reader. Avoidant, distant! Reader. Reader death. ED (eating disorder). Overall, heavy on mental health issues. :)
Read at your own risk!
As days starting to pass by, you wonder, what is the will to even live? You're already dead a long ago,then what is the point to keep surviving? It's pointless.
Eating feels like a chore, to supply at least energy, so you wouldn't die out of hunger (or you're basically force to eat by him). Even worse, Akaashi makes sure to keep you on track, to keep you alive. The fact you're barely gives your needs to the least requirements are killing him (mentally and physically).
Besides, he'll leave at some point,right?
“y/n, you have to eat this,please.” ... “y/n.”
Akaashi's plead fell on deaf ears. He sat on the edge of your bed, with the bowl of porridge in his hands, trying to feed you. Since it what he manages to get you to eat most of the time, and it's simple. “i made it with pure love and effort,” ... “you know you need nutrients, to survive,right?” he asked, looking at you. Eyes pleading for you to please, at least to meet the minimum requirements.
a low grumble, as you shifted yourself and looked at him. Those eyebags. It hurts him to the core of his heart. “..do you want me to put it on the table..or?” Akaashi spoke, still looking at you with a small, concerned smile. And you nodded, reciprocate his smile with yours. He hates that smile, it was genuine, but filled with how much you had gone through.
“i will eat it later.” Liar.
“promise?”
“..pinky promise.”
Akaashi just stared at you. Liar. You never really eat on time, which he hated that so,so much. Even if you assures him you'll eat it later, it's a white lie.
He tries, really. To believe every words you spit out,But it's unbelievable. Although, at least, you promised.
“eat it, alright?” he stood up, placing the bowl on the nightstand with a sigh. Since when did he vowed to do this?
..
It's draining. He has tried everything . Everything.
But at last, it didn't work. Now what he could do?
Standing beside your grave, he wasn't that stupid to left any sign you had given. It just, he doesn't know how to help other than giving you a hand in the basics, etc. eating, hygiene. He really tried.
“you could have talk it out with me,but I guess.” sobs
“sleep peacefully,okay? I'll help you clean your apartment,y/n.” Akaashi murmured between his sobs. “here, take these flowers, as far as I could remember, it's your favorite.”
I hope you rest in peace.
..
“oh my god,y/n.” Akaashi mused, shaking you, trembling slightly. From the blood basically on your bare arms. It made his blood creep. Infact, you are unconscious, and that's not alright. “y/n, I swear to god, wake up. Wait—Im calling the 911!”
This time for sure, there will no answers;response from you. He wanted to cry, but he needs to stay calm, be rational. The thoughts were overwhelming.
“hello, it's 911—” when he heard from the other line of his phone, his hands were shaking badly.
“my friend is unconscious, address—‘xx’. Be quick,I beg you–” Akaashi spoke, trying to remain calm, but the panic starting to get through him.
..
Yeah. Maybe it's pointless.
But I'll never regret being by your side,y/n.
and I'll make sure to make you feel valuable, until my last breath—or yours. Even if I failed on that.
..
“hey y/n, do you want to walk with us?” Bokuto's voice rang through your ears.
“yeah,sure.” you answered with your usual smile. As you slide your bag onto your shoulder, ready to go back home.
“come on, let's go.” Akaashi, who's waiting at the classroom's door. Per usual, the trio that would walk home together whenever school is over.
Sharing giggles and shit, laughing over the smallest things. teenagers. Growing up is so scary, for Akaashi.
Afraid of changes. metathesiophobia.
maybe, he had hoped you stayed. So you,Bokuto and him could just stay as the trio.
the old patchwork quilt in his hand, handing it to miwa within a big frown visible on his face. “do you want me to fix it?” miwa asked, taking the quilt from him to only he responded with a nod. Ever since their grandpa's death, he have been sleeping with this quilt, their grandpa always used it whenever it's winter.
The quilt was old, having a stain of coffee on it. But it was memories stitched with love, nostalgia. Handmade,even.
it brings sense of comfort, warmth that Kageyama longed for, after seeing his grandpa getting burried deep inside the ground. He tried calling for him, but his grandpa didn't even respond at all, like he used to. And he hates that, he won't see the person he looks up to ever again.
Miwa examine the quilt, it can still be fixed despite being shabby a little. Besides, kageyama really loves this quilt, he can't even sleep without it. So she better get it fix quickly as possible,with so much care. Like their grandpa had given them.
“why can't grandpa just stay?” kageyama asked suddenly, his eyes speaking for his sadness itself. Miwa stayed silent, knowing their grandpa's death pains them to bits.
“...”
“why? ”
His question left unanswered.
After that, the house have been nothing but grief. A reminder for all the memories they had made, but this time, their grandpa is nowhere to be found in the house. Sometimes, Kageyama is unsure what to do afterwards. But he still kept playing volleyball either way, despite being alone to face the challenges without the support of his granda,who was dead long ago.
it's life, the purpose to reach goals, to achieve what he had set straight,clear as crystal. He's alone to brace it himself though, he's alone.
(> an. that was until hinata comes!! lighten up his life,i suppose.)
What if Kita and yn were childhood friends. Then yn had to move away, so they asked Kita, he assured them with a smile even tho he's like very sad about yn leaving him. And this happened when they were kids.
Like yn is in their car and about to go, and had the car rear glass down while looking at Kita with their tears down their cheeks. Kita almost cry on the spot too, but refrained so you wouldn't get more sadder than you are.
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