I'm A Trust Fund Baby You Can Trust Me @averagegoddess - Tumblr Blog

Apparently Ethiopian Baboons are starting to domesticate wolves, which is giving scientists new insights about what it might have been like when early humans did that. That’s cool pretty cool!

argumate

“not quite as cool as we thought!” scream scientists, as baboons riding wolves come pouring out of the forest

oppa-homeless-style

SOMETIMES I FEEL I’VE GOT TO

killerkitty707

“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

wierdrocks

But it’s just as fast

shakespork

one giveth and one taketh away

toastyglow

#…one yoinketh and one yeeteth away - @5qui99l3

kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”

letthemountainsmoveyou-deactiva

i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23

roonilwazlip-deactivated2022021

once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing “more school” [university] and she asked “why haven’t you found anyone to marry then”

byeeyeslikeacat-deactivated2019

We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says “wait you’re a STUDENT??”

meelothemanly

I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, “That’s not true, you’re my age”

cractasticdispatches

our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated ‘i’m all teached now. i don’t need to be teached anymore. i’m done of being teached.’

diamondelight92

once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, “Does that mean you don’t have to bring an adult with you to the pool?”

maraudersvibes

My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said “does that mean she is married now?”

standard-fiend

I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice’s argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.

loveyoutothem00n

I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, “ooh I know! A pickle! You’d be such a good pickle”

aimmyarrowshigh

On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, “Are you okay? You look like you have a question.” And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously,

“Can a piranha eat a stapler?”

manic-kin

One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked “Do you have a boy?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said “Well, you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!”

dinovia-grant

I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother’s alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it up and asked her what it was.

“Octopus,” she said, all curls and smiles.

“And what kind of animal is an octopus?” I asked. I was looking for “fish” or “sea creature” but I would have accepted almost anything–”weird,” “gross,” even “slimy.” “Underwater” or “it lives in the ocean” would have also been acceptable.

She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, “It’s a cephalopod.”

I haven’t been the same since.

drinkyourfuckingmilk

why the fuck are bra’s so expensive I just want to buy some fabric to support the two sacks of fat on my chest not two first class tickets to space jesus fucking christ

m--ood-deactivated20181217

Otter teaches human how to pet him.

sir-duckington

@queer-werewolf Dave this is important pls look at it immediately

tokays

Do Home Depot employees ever wonder what the customers’ projects are? More specifically, do they wonder about mine?

followthebluebell

One of my brothers works at Home Depot and the other works at Ace. I can confirm that they DO wonder.

“So this customer just… went in and bought every single tube of silicone we had. It wasn’t many, to be fair, but then they also bought a bunch of dirt. They were really fussy about the TYPE of soil too.”

“They’re a reptile keeper and they’re making a new vivarium. I can guarantee it. Ask them what species they keep next time. I want to know.”

(a few weeks later)

“They keep crested geckos.”

broodingsoul

You know what I want out of a Buffy reboot? I want a trans slayer. I want someone assigned male at birth but pre-transition to show up with all the slayer abilities and everyone to be like “a boy slayer wtf???!!!” and then she’s like “oh I’m a trans woman” and everyone is like “ohhhhh.” I want the slayer line to transcend biology and genetics. I want slayer powers to be something so innate that it’s tied into one’s own gender identity. Please. Give me a trans slayer.

broodingsoul

Y’all this is pissing off terfs in the Buffy fandom, reblog it to support trans women and piss off terfs

icegrillz-deactivated20191028

xspiderfanx

trickster gods having a dance-off

yt-memes

That’s alot of chaotic energy in one video

messages-from-paradox-space

i looked up the song thats playing in the background only to discover that the guy in the smiley face hoody literally wrote and recorded it this is his song

roaringstream

Shit slaps tho like that’s impressive

ifdragonscouldtalk

The Good Place is a remarkably moving piece of media, particularly for today, because it takes the inherently nihilistic viewpoint that humans are the ultimate torture for other humans and turns that completely on it’s head, showing growth and character change in every character with brilliant and subtle writing while at the same time completely reversing what it first posits and suggesting that humans are what drive other humans to become better, and our attitudes are a direct result of our situations in life that we can consciously effect and change. It suggests that growth is a decision, not that we happen upon it. This is important, philosophically and optimistically, especially because it does all this while telling No Exit it is inherently flawed in how it sees humans and is entertaining, staying relevant and popular in today’s fast paced and constantly changing media. In this essay I will–

motherforking-bullshirt

d-e-a-d-ly

penguinssonamor

sandsvendor100

People Are Always Saying Some Things To Me And Well Im SICK Of It

showerthoughtsofficial

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?