a very tired boy @averytiredboy - Tumblr Blog

meimetchi-deactivated20251007

gooodbyee 200 dollars helloo piece of pleastic

why do you hate swifties so much

because they aligned themselves with the treacherous count dooku

me: you can fucking livestream here now?

*clicks on like three different streams and it’s always someone who looks like they started smoking weed at 11 playing stardew valley*

me: woag

i just finished dm’ing my longest d&d campaign ever with a bunch of college friends who are PhD dudes now and one of them was like “thanks for this man, this is my only socialization with people that don’t make me want to kill myself”

after much thought (9 years of never posting on this platform) i have decided to become a poster here

Rabbit vs. Hare

one of them is bigger by uh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh by a hare

shingojira

cryptotheism

In the 6th century, there was an evil whale named "The Purple One" who was famous for seemingly intentionally seeking out and destroying Byzantine ships

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601

i love that beaching wasn't enough for them those locals had fucking beef to settle

cryptotheism

Some mfers just started biting

cloudstation

gonna tell you the truth brother. this is not a sentence I love to hear from the writer of a show

aflo

the ending happens when baby yoda merch doesn't make money anymore

*BLEEP*

best spongebob cuss

what the scallop

tartar sauce

barnacles

holy fish paste

Voting ended onFeb 13, 2023

huffylemon

triviallytrue

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

friendshapedhole

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

triviallytrue

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

max1461

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

triviallytrue

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

ghostpalmtechnique

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

triviallytrue

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

notwiselybuttoowell

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.