[bitterdollie]

some bpd dissociation moods

- intense, uncontrollable sobbing when you get hit with that wave of unreality

- or screaming

- or both

- lying on the cold floor. that’s it. you’re just laying there, empty.

- doing something impulsive because you want to feel real/things to feel real

- i dont have a personality and nor do i have a body

- feeling more alone than you normally do because no one else is real

- stressing out for a few hours only to dissociate on continuum for the next couple weeks

- hopeless laughter as you sink further into the void

[a-boy-cutting]

Depression in summer is weird. It’s not dark and brooding, for me - it’s white and hazy and confusing. You feel very absent from everyone and everything and all the light seems a little too bright for your tired eyes.

[writing-prompt-s]

You have a reputation for being horribly indecisive. In truth, you’ve been cursed with the ability to see every possible negative outcome of every choice you make, no matter how minor.

[roses-and-ivy-deactivated201801]

Oh boy let me tell you a thing about anxiety

[bpdbisexual]

Do you know how hard it is for me to answer such a simple question as “how are you” because my mood will literally change while i’m typing the answer

[softgloom]

list of Moods I have:

???

“this is the worst I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been sadder than this single moment in my whole life”

“this is the best I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been happier than this single moment in my whole life”

ANGER

?????

fear !!

[sheismysquishy]

Anxiety is panicking about being late and then sitting in the parking lot for 20 minutes because you are so early

[shitborderlinesdo]

Dependent Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Dependent Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section II Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I have difficulty making decisions without first getting advice from others.

I prefer for others to take responsibility in major areas of my life.

I have difficulty expressing disagreement with others because I fear loss of their support or approval. (Does not include fears such as loss of a job or an abusive relationship. Example: Expressing disagreement with a boss over a social issue which could lead to being reprimanded.)

I have difficulty starting projects or doing things on my own, mostly because of a lack of self-confidence rather than a lack of energy.

I go to excessive lengths in order to get support from others, to the point of putting myself in unpleasant or uncomfortable situations.

I feel incredibly helpless when I’m alone because of fears I have that I can’t take care of myself.

I urgently seek out new relationships as soon as a relationships ends, as I tend to see relationships as a source of care and support.

I am intensely preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of myself.

__ / 8

Section III Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

I do not have another medical condition (such a chronic illness) which would make me naturally dependent, and my symptoms are purely psychological. (Disabled people and other people with serious medical conditions are able to have DPD, but dependent symptoms must be more severe than what is expected of them.)

Section IV Common symptoms ad behaviors (not required for diagnosis):

I have separation anxiety.

I’m an incredibly passive person.

I hate making decisions and need opinions from others before feeling comfortable making a final call.

I depend on others to know things like where I should live and what kind of job I should have.

I am a different person depending on who I’m with at the time.

I feel better working when I have a supervisor. 

I tend to do exactly what others want, even if their demands are unreasonable.

I feel like I sacrifice a lot for the people around me.

I am willing to tolerate lots of abuse if it means keeping peace.

I become easily attached.

I have low self-esteem and doubt myself a lot.

I often take criticism and disapproval as proof of how worthless I am.

I easily lose faith in myself.

I like for people to be overprotective of me.

I get anxious when faced with decisions.

__ / 15

If you did not meet the minimum, you may want to look into depressive and anxiety disorders. If you met the criteria for Sections I and III, you may want to look into other personality disorders.

[shitborderlinesdo]

The Avoidant Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Avoidant Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity issues, which include low self-esteem. I find myself unappealing or inferior to others.

I set unrealistic standards for myself, and I am reluctant to pursue any of my goals or take personal risks or engage in new activities which involve interpersonal contact.

I am empathic, although I focus more on negative feelings which are directed at me. I am sensitive to criticism and rejection.

I am reluctant to get too close to people and maintain a distance to keep people from knowing me too well.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check THREE or more of the following, one of which MUST be the first one listed:

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, and panic in reaction to social situations. I worry about the negative effects experiences, and I am afraid of embarrassing myself.

I detach myself from social contacts and don’t initiate anything in order to avoid embarrassing myself or ruining the relationship.

I find myself unable to fully enjoy myself or properly engage in experiences which should make me happy. It’s hard for me to take interest in things.

I avoid intimacy and getting too close to people (romantic relationships, friendships etc.).

__ / 4

Section IV Must check FOUR or more of the following:

I avoid activities with involve significant interpersonal contact because of my fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.

I’m pretty unwilling to get involved with people unless I’m certain they’re going to like me.

I hold back in personal relationships because I’m afraid of being shamed or ridiculed.

I’m preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.

I feel uncomfortable in new interpersonal situations because of my feelings of inadequacy.

I see myself as socially inept, unappealing, or inferior to others.

I’m reluctant to take personal risks or engage in new activities because I may embarrass myself.

__ / 7

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in avoidant patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum but relate to many of the symptoms listed, check out General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. If you feel you related to some of the symptoms, but feel many of your symptoms weren’t listed, try Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you cleared Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum, look into other personality disorders.

Other disorders that are commonly diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder include depression, bipolar, and anxiety disorders, especially social anxiety disorder.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors associated:

I feel like group settings are easier than one-on-one conversations because there is less attention focused on me.

I have no idea how to take compliments.

In fact, compliments can often make me nervous because then I feel like I have to meet an expectation, and I am confident I will fail.

I often avoid opportunities which could be good for me because I am afraid of failing.

I have phone anxiety.

Sometimes I can take a long time to reply to people because I’m afraid my response will be criticized. 

I avoid initiating contact with people as much as I can.

I hate being the one to make plans. I’d much rather someone else make plans, and I’ll just go along with them. (Or maybe I’ll avoid them too.)

I tend to delete posts because I become afraid of what other people will think of them.

I hate being angry or sad or expressing any form of negative emotion in front of other people.

I’m so afraid of asking for help, even when I desperately need it.

I find I am often unable to go to work/school or to find a job/apply for school because I worry a job/school would be too critical of me.

I am bad at picking up on cues like flirting or other forms of positive expression.

I really look up to some of the people in my life because I truly feel they are better people than I am.

I fantasize about idealized relationships with other people.

__ / 15

[shitborderlinesdo]

The Borderline Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Borderline Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity problems, including: I have an unstable sense of identity, I have poor self-esteem and excessive self-criticism, and I often experience dissociation when I am under stress.

I am unstable in my goals, aspirations, values, and/or career plans.

I have a heightened sense of empathy and am hypersensitive to the feelings and needs of my peers, although my perceptions are often biased towards negative attributes.

There is a lot of instability in my relationships, in that I am needy, mistrustful, and anxious.

__ / 4 Total

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty retaining information and remembering people and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings and how they affect others.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check ONE or more of the following:

I am very impulsive and often act on things without planning.

I engage in dangerous, risky, and/or potentially self-damaging activities with no concern to my personal limitations.

I am easily angered.

__ / 3 Total

Must have at least FOUR checks TOTAL by the end of this section, including ones from previous section (If you checked two above, you only need two here, for example):

My emotions are incredibly unstable, and I change moods often (sometimes within minutes), feeling things more intensely than others seem to.

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, panic, and/or anxiety. I have fears of the future and of falling apart or losing control.

I get separation insecurity and fear abandonment.

I am frequently depressed and feel hopeless and have a difficult time recovering from such moods.

__ / 7 Total

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I have a fear of abandonment and do my best to avoid it.

I switch between idealizing and devaluing the people in my life. My relationships are often unstable and intense.

I have an unstable sense of self and often question my identity.

I am impulsive.

I have attempted suicide and/or I self-harm.

I have frequent mood swings.

I often feel empty or depressed and have doubts about my future.

I am hot-tempered.

When stressed, I am paranoid and/or I experience dissociation.

__ / 9 Total

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning 

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

-

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum, check out Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you checked ALL of Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum in other sections, look into other personality disorders, especially other Cluster B’s.

-

Section VI Common Symptoms and Behaviors associated: 

I have disordered eating patterns.

I am sometimes obsessive.

I sometimes get intrusive thoughts which I am unable to ignore.

I become attached easily.

I often “bait” people in order to start a conflict.

I have trouble sleeping, or I sleep too much.

I have a child-like curiosity.

I am dependent on others.

I sometimes mimic or mirror others.

I have nightmares.

I have difficulty processing information.

My appearance changes often.

I have an extreme need for acceptance.

I have a natural rejection of people in authority.

I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over again.

I very much live in the moment, to the point where past actions don’t matter. How I judge others (and myself) depends entirely on what is happening right now.

I isolate myself, even when I need social interaction.

I am often defensive.

I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I experience memory lapses.

I consider myself a perfectionist.

I react very strongly to mundane experiences.

I have a difficult time making decisions.

I have difficulty completing tasks.

I often feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized.

When I am upset, I am unable to calm down without help.

I castrophicize my problems and see the smallest things as the end of the world.

I often see my problems as unsolvable and hopeless to fix.

I hold grudges.

I alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against me.

I have a hard time recalling someone’s love for me when they’re not around.

I change my opinions depending on whom I’m with.

Sometimes the slightest provocation will make me feel abandoned.

I feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time.

I rush into relationships based on an idea of a person rather than the person themselves.

__ / 35

[shitborderlinesdo]

Social Anxiety Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist for social anxiety disorder, which may help one self-diagnose or help them better communicate their symptoms with their doctor or therapist. All information is taken directly from the DSM-5.

Diagnosis Must check ALL of the following

I have experienced fear or anxiety about social interactions.

I am afraid of social interactions (having a conversation, meeting unfamiliar people), being observed (talking, eating, drinking), and/or performing in front others.

I am afraid my anxiety will be obvious and that I will be negatively evaluated because of it. (It will be humiliating or embarrassing, or will lead to rejection and offend others.)

Social situations almost always provoke fear or anxiety.

I tend to avoid social situations.

My fear and anxiety of social situations has been persistent over at least six months.

My fear and anxiety has caused distress in my social, occupational, and/or other areas of functioning.

My fear and anxiety is not better explained by another disorder, substance use, or another medical condition.

Common symptoms and behaviors (not required for diagnosis)

I fear people will see me as weak, crazy, stupid, boring, intimidating, dirty, unlikable, etc. 

I imagine myself doing something really embarrassing, such as falling or saying the wrong thing. 

I worry I may offend others.

I have difficulty eating in front of other people.

Even with friends, I avoid participating in heavier topics out of fear I’ll say the wrong thing.

I avoid public restrooms because others may hear me.

I have anxiety attacks.

I have skipped school/work because of my anxiety.

I would say I have overly rigid body posture.

I avoid eye contact.

I speak very softly. 

I am described by others as shy or withdrawn.

I don’t like to disclose intimate details about myself.

I hate going to the doctor.

I have anxiety on the phone.

__ / 15

If you did not check all of section one, other disorders to look into include depressive disorders, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, other anxiety disorders, and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

An estimated 7% of the population suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder.

[aya247]

it's time to d-d-d-d-d-

disassociate

[bpdstanpines]

Having no emotional permanence is hell If im sad, i literally cant remember the last time i was happy If im angry i cant remember the last time i was calm And so when i get upset it feels like ive been upset for forever, even if the day before i was having the time of my life It makes having breakdowns and even just plain bad days so extreme

[borderline--feline]

How to tell if ive split on you:

•small responses if i even respond at all •seeming to be “moody” or “in a bad mood” •unenthusiastic •lack of variety in responses

[aya247]

someone: how can you just lie in bed all day

me internally: i have several illnesses that mean that my energy is practically zero and i lack the motivation to do anything, i am anxious about every little thing so i avoid doing things, i have next to no friends and even then i get socially exhausted very quickly leading to me isolating myself out of guilt, and on top of that the world in my head is greatly preferable to the one outside of my bed

me externally: lol im just lazy i guess

[aya247]

someone: why do you have such poor memory?

me, a person who has a terrible sense of memory due to years of suppressing things and having a tendency to only remember times where i experienced an emotional extreme while also having a poor attention span from likely undiagnosed illnesses that i could have really used proper coping mechanisms and techniques for: ha. i dunno. i guess i'm just stupid.

[tanukiy]

if you have a child, student, patient (or any person under your care) with bpd, adhd, anxiety, or any other illness/disorder with these symptoms:

please do not purposefully leave them alone without anything to distract themselves with. being unable to tolerate extreme feelings of boredom is a symptom. we get so bored we literally want to die. we need constant stimulation. we’re like puppies. if you don’t give us toys or play with us, we will chew our paws all day. we may get scared or anxious and start hurting ourselves or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.

seriously, boredom can lead to self-destructive behavior. please be conscientious and remember that.

[pumpkinspicelexatte]

*screenshots things for emotional permanence reasons*