Just A Traveller

Poetry, art, academics, literature, music, cats, animals, anime, and learning are probably the surface of what a nerd I am. Also socially awkward but hey I'm learning! She/Her

[aytheasolen]

If you want to call me a robot, treat me like one, then please do it fully.

Don't expect me to still be a human at the end of the day.

[aytheasolen]

Sugar

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Swirling around as I try to dissolve it

How can I serve it to someone

Even if there is less than a teaspoon undissolved

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Trying not to disappear

Stirring till my wrist aches

Just to see it again

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

I'm supposed to show this to everyone

How can I hand it over

When the glass tells on me

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

As if trying to mock me

Telling me no amount of work

Can dissolve it past saturation

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Did I add too much sugar?

Or a little less water?

Doesn't matter because I'll always think

I didn't stir it till my hands shatter

~aythea solen

P.S This is not about lemonade

[aytheasolen]

You think only darkness can blind you

But how will you differentiate

When pure light blinds you too?

~aythea solen

[aytheasolen]

Expectations

My expectations tower too high,

patience scrapes the ground.

I carry every feeling inside

but silence keeps me bound.

Always longing for someone to come

When they do I count when they'll go

To say I am afraid would be an understatement

But when I love there is nothing else left to sow

Yes call me problematic

But all I want from love is

When I ask someone if I should change for them

They say no

~aythea solen

[aytheasolen]

And we brought the stars down from the sky. Leaving nothing to look up to.🌟

[aytheasolen]

I kept every moment alive, no one kept me.

[aytheasolen]

The Photographer

Always the photographer

Never in the picture

I was there

Just not in it

Someone will remember that day

Not who kept it still

I kept every moment alive

No one kept me

~aythea solen

For everyone who documented memories but never felt part of them.

[aytheasolen]

Easy Child

I understand

Even when I don't want to

Spilled milk, spoiled child

"Clean it up, or you're a brat"

I see faces

And grasp the mood

I hear steps

And guess the person on foot

You gave me everything

But a quiet home

Something I can stay in

But never truly feel home

Yes you did everything for me

But never what I asked

I grew up too fast

And you were pleased

I was an "easy child"

But I wish you put some effort

I know there were far more issues

I understand, I really do

But, why do I have to understand every time

Why can't you understand for once

Why your easy child

Turned difficult

~aythea solen

[aytheasolen]

Living life like a rollercoaster

Mostly waiting for the part that slows down

[aytheasolen]

Betting on someone and cheering them on are not the same thing.

[aytheasolen]

"Hate to be seen, love every sight."

~aythea solen

[aytheasolen]

Weather

Weather seems nice

Not necessarily when the sun is bright

But when the storm that's raging inside

Finally shows up by your side

Dark clouds pressing against your heart

Enraged, not at you but somewhere apart

Leaves clinging to their lives

Feels like a wrist held back from the knife

Yeah I love looking at the weather

Tearing apart what dares to tether

But only when no one can see me

And I can't see anyone either

At last comes the rain

Are they from nature or the pain?

Falling with such a force

Yet calming something for both

~aythea solen

Sitting on my porch again, hiding from the light. Hate to be seen, love every sight.

2am feels quieter when the sky is loud.

[aytheasolen]

Galaxies

Such power writers wield!

Freckles become constellations.

Stretch marks strike like lightning.

Stars sketched around scars.

Even broken things

Become galaxies.

~aythea solen

Saw stretch marks resembling lightning, understood nothing is random and everything is beautiful. ❤️

Insecurities are just the mind playing tricks to keep you occupied, you are more than the things you think are your flaws.❤️

[aytheasolen]

Privilege

What a privilege

To like the rain

To like the storm

To like lightning

I see beauty

While others

Fear for their lives

Such a privilege

To see the rain

And not think of demise

~aythea solen

Sitting on my porch admiring the storm, a dog crossed the road terrified. No birds to be seen, no sign of life.

[aytheasolen]

"Why don't you tell us before doing anything?"

"Because it is easier to fail in silence than it is to fail in a room full of people betting on you."

~aythea solen

-And no, betting and cheering are not the same thing.

Excerpt from a book I might write.

[aytheasolen]

The Broken Record

A broken record

Scattered pieces

Snippets of a story

Refusing to align

Never to be joined

Never the same

A broken record

Scattered pieces

Still trying

To play music

With pieces missing

A broken record

Scattered pieces

Half Sentences

Cut short

A storybook

With pages torn

A broken record

Scattered pieces

A poet refusing

To provide an ending

A broken record

Scatter-

~aythea solen

To people thinking being broken means they aren't worth anything, there is a beautiful concept in Japanese culture called Kintsugi, which joins broken cutlery using gold which in turn raises its value.

So just because you feel broken doesn't mean you're worthless, it just means you haven't healed yet, and healing will surely make you better then you were before❤️

Keep moving forwards even if it feels impossible, even if it is just an inch, it's the movement that matters❤️

All the best✨

[aytheasolen]

Icarus

I always wanted wings

Not to outfly the sun

Just to prove

The ground wasn't enough

They were heavy

But they were mine

And that was enough

To make them light

We're told

Soaring high kills

No one mentions

How staying low

Teaches you to comply

I thought of building them

Bone, wire and my enemy's skin

But I was human

And I knew the cost

Still

The mind reaches

Again and again

Towards that lonely star

Inches away

Yet too far

Close enough to want

Never enough to have

Did Icarus think this much

Or just those who never tried?

~aythea solen

We all were told Icarus died because he flew too high, carefully omitting that he couldn't survive if he flew to close to the sea, in this world he chose flying high instead of leaning too low so people are scared of risks, maybe in another world people would be scared of not taking them.

@ayushidubeysworld