If you want to call me a robot, treat me like one, then please do it fully.
Don't expect me to still be a human at the end of the day.
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@aytheasolen
If you want to call me a robot, treat me like one, then please do it fully.
Don't expect me to still be a human at the end of the day.
Sugar
I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade
Swirling around as I try to dissolve it
How can I serve it to someone
Even if there is less than a teaspoon undissolved
I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade
Trying not to disappear
Stirring till my wrist aches
Just to see it again
I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade
I'm supposed to show this to everyone
How can I hand it over
When the glass tells on me
I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade
As if trying to mock me
Telling me no amount of work
Can dissolve it past saturation
I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade
Did I add too much sugar?
Or a little less water?
Doesn't matter because I'll always think
I didn't stir it till my hands shatter
~aythea solen
P.S This is not about lemonade
You think only darkness can blind you
But how will you differentiate
When pure light blinds you too?
~aythea solen
Expectations
My expectations tower too high,
patience scrapes the ground.
I carry every feeling inside
but silence keeps me bound.
Always longing for someone to come
When they do I count when they'll go
To say I am afraid would be an understatement
But when I love there is nothing else left to sow
Yes call me problematic
But all I want from love is
When I ask someone if I should change for them
They say no
~aythea solen
And we brought the stars down from the sky. Leaving nothing to look up to.🌟
I kept every moment alive, no one kept me.
The Photographer
Always the photographer
Never in the picture
I was there
Just not in it
Someone will remember that day
Not who kept it still
I kept every moment alive
No one kept me
~aythea solen
For everyone who documented memories but never felt part of them.
Easy Child
I understand
Even when I don't want to
Spilled milk, spoiled child
"Clean it up, or you're a brat"
I see faces
And grasp the mood
I hear steps
And guess the person on foot
You gave me everything
But a quiet home
Something I can stay in
But never truly feel home
Yes you did everything for me
But never what I asked
I grew up too fast
And you were pleased
I was an "easy child"
But I wish you put some effort
I know there were far more issues
I understand, I really do
But, why do I have to understand every time
Why can't you understand for once
Why your easy child
Turned difficult
~aythea solen
Living life like a rollercoaster
Mostly waiting for the part that slows down
Betting on someone and cheering them on are not the same thing.
"Hate to be seen, love every sight."
~aythea solen
Weather
Weather seems nice
Not necessarily when the sun is bright
But when the storm that's raging inside
Finally shows up by your side
Dark clouds pressing against your heart
Enraged, not at you but somewhere apart
Leaves clinging to their lives
Feels like a wrist held back from the knife
Yeah I love looking at the weather
Tearing apart what dares to tether
But only when no one can see me
And I can't see anyone either
At last comes the rain
Are they from nature or the pain?
Falling with such a force
Yet calming something for both
~aythea solen
Sitting on my porch again, hiding from the light. Hate to be seen, love every sight.
2am feels quieter when the sky is loud.
Galaxies
Such power writers wield!
Freckles become constellations.
Stretch marks strike like lightning.
Stars sketched around scars.
Even broken things
Become galaxies.
~aythea solen
Saw stretch marks resembling lightning, understood nothing is random and everything is beautiful. ❤️
Insecurities are just the mind playing tricks to keep you occupied, you are more than the things you think are your flaws.❤️
Privilege
What a privilege
To like the rain
To like the storm
To like lightning
I see beauty
While others
Fear for their lives
Such a privilege
To see the rain
And not think of demise
~aythea solen
Sitting on my porch admiring the storm, a dog crossed the road terrified. No birds to be seen, no sign of life.
"Why don't you tell us before doing anything?"
"Because it is easier to fail in silence than it is to fail in a room full of people betting on you."
~aythea solen
-And no, betting and cheering are not the same thing.
Excerpt from a book I might write.
The Broken Record
A broken record
Scattered pieces
Snippets of a story
Refusing to align
Never to be joined
Never the same
A broken record
Scattered pieces
Still trying
To play music
With pieces missing
A broken record
Scattered pieces
Half Sentences
Cut short
A storybook
With pages torn
A broken record
Scattered pieces
A poet refusing
To provide an ending
A broken record
Scatter-
~aythea solen
To people thinking being broken means they aren't worth anything, there is a beautiful concept in Japanese culture called Kintsugi, which joins broken cutlery using gold which in turn raises its value.
So just because you feel broken doesn't mean you're worthless, it just means you haven't healed yet, and healing will surely make you better then you were before❤️
Keep moving forwards even if it feels impossible, even if it is just an inch, it's the movement that matters❤️
All the best✨
Icarus
I always wanted wings
Not to outfly the sun
Just to prove
The ground wasn't enough
They were heavy
But they were mine
And that was enough
To make them light
We're told
Soaring high kills
No one mentions
How staying low
Teaches you to comply
I thought of building them
Bone, wire and my enemy's skin
But I was human
And I knew the cost
Still
The mind reaches
Again and again
Towards that lonely star
Inches away
Yet too far
Close enough to want
Never enough to have
Did Icarus think this much
Or just those who never tried?
~aythea solen
We all were told Icarus died because he flew too high, carefully omitting that he couldn't survive if he flew to close to the sea, in this world he chose flying high instead of leaning too low so people are scared of risks, maybe in another world people would be scared of not taking them.
@ayushidubeysworld