love is hard but sex is easy

god in heaven could you please me she/her | married | gemini | elem. band director witch: @rainshowerswildflowers

[mxmollusca]

Give me your soft, sensual blackbonnet art. The art that has you saying, "this is safe for work, right? This can't possibly be construed as lewd, right?" while actually being the porniest thing of all.

[xenantis-deactivated20241211]

[pencilscratchins]

im very excited for season 4 [ID in alt]

[our-flag-means-love]

one of my favorite things about the "stab me" scene is the fact that ed was 100% bluffing because that's not how muzzle-loading guns work.

like okay maybe another "bending the laws of reality" argument can be made here, but it's established in episode 1 that gunpowder in a muzzle-loader is canonically affected by gravity (by pete tilting it down towards himself to look at it and gunpowder falling out), and it's established in episode 8 by jackie that this kind of pistol takes "a minute" to reload (historically more like 15 seconds for someone with practice but same idea).

so basically ed pulls out an obviously unloaded flintlock pistol, because it was clearly facing downwards in its holster, and he's fully banking on the fact that stede just won't know how guns work and will fall for it, and of course he fuckin totally does

[monica-rysik-art]

[hhawkeye]

[bandicoot-curtlesnoot]

that cute purple shirt ed is wearing in the treasure episode is actually stede’s, pass it on

[bandicoot-curtlesnoot]

this person sounds *so* smart but i promise my logic was actually just like “ed hasn’t stepped foot on his own ship since boarding stede’s, and he might just fancy stede’s clothes a fine fabric” but i AM down to pretend im actually smart

[bandicoot-curtlesnoot]

that cute purple shirt ed is wearing in the treasure episode is actually stede’s, pass it on

[catcrumb]

[sapphicstrawbebby-deactivated20]

seaside ♡

[meangirlnurse]

my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the first five words of this post alone contain so much storytelling

[tenya]

funniest shit ever is bath and body works having beef with build a bear workshop since they both have the same initials (babw), which causes shipments to occasionally be delivered to the wrong store

[tenya]

*bath and body works employee voice* well this sure as shit ain’t soap

[spooky-catboy-angel]

*build a bear workshop employee voice* this is fucking soap

[retrogamingblog2]

big brain move

[aj521z]

The accuracy and precision is unparalleled 

[thegoldengals]

Opposite vibe

[orlandospride]

choose your fighter

[eightplustwelveistwenty]

[thegalaxyinyoureye]

[enderbot-magic]

[hackedalien-deactivated20150201]

World Population : 7,810,521,683 

just in case somebody start feelin too important

[bulbahaur-deactivated20160607]

7,810,521,682 and me

[cxndaquil]

This is my absolute favorite post ever i even saved the image on my laptop under the name of “and me” in a special folder with nothing but this image

[lesbyterianchurch]

It’s that month again folks! Happy February.