Caffeinated Hormones

Vida. Demisexual lesbian trans woman of 30 years. She/her

[strawberry-crocodile]

ultimately the best way to prevent abuse is to organize society in such a way that everyone's needs are met wothout having to rely on a parent or employer or boyfriend or any one individual. obviously wont stop, like, manipulation or so on, but the ability to dangle basic needs over someone's head is one of the most powerful and consistant tools of abuse out there. if someone is able to just leave, and know that they will have access to food and shelter and clean water and education, that will enable so, so mamy victims of abuse to do just that.

[strawberry-crocodile]

really funny how like 10% of the comments are people going "nuh uh" and the remaining 90% are people going "this is literally whats happening to me/my mom/etc Right Now"

[pseudomantis]

one if my favorite gifs right now the blankest eyes ive ever seen the lights are on but no ones home. and the other thing like grooming its snout but i don't think its even aware of what its doing. i dont think either of them know anything or know that theyre alive

[glitchy-haha]

INCREDIBLY CONCERNING SPIKE IN ANTI-BLACKNESS IS HAPPENING RN.

Some of yall may have heard some of the shit that has been going on right now. I'm gonna give a quick run down of some of the stuff that has been happening. Note, this is not all, and it may never be all as much as I will try to update this.

(I am going to try and compile and briefly explain these as much as I can. There may be misinformation. Please inform me if I got something wrong.)

(This will also be updated with additional information and new topics added.)

1) Racist Chinese Dolls.

There are these dolls in China that are being called "Natasha" baby dolls. These dolls are not only very obvious caricatures of black people, but they are being advertised as a "stress relief" in which the people who buy these abuse it in various ways.

This links to a video of a compilation of the various "uses" of the doll. There are more in the replies of the tweet. (Another link to the same tweet just incase)

2) The Mocking, Abuse, and Dehumanization of Black Children.

Apart from the aforementioned doll, there are apparently people going around mocking, abusing, and dehumanizing black children.

Some people have compared black children to the doll.

Others have been going into African countries and have found ways to mock, abuse, and dehumanize black children for clout.

(Source 1 + Full Video) (Source 2)

There are more videos surfacing.

3) Black people are going missing.

Black people, especially children and teens have recently been going missing at an alarming rate. Some of these same people are turning up dead, deaths being ruled as "suicides."

While it generally unknown why many of these people are going missing, many suspect that their disappearances, deaths, and even lack of coverage is rooted in anti-blackness.

The following is a list of black people that have been reported missing as of recently. Please note that this is not a complete list (it may never be completed due to the fact that many of these disappearances will still occur as time passes) this may contain inaccurate information. Please inform me if that is the case.

By the time you see this, some of these people may have already been found either alive or deceased. This post will be updated overtime.

It is also heavily encouraged that you reblog this with more links to recent cases of missing black people if you are aware of any that aren’t included on this list.

Alexis Shaver

Payton Diver

Nasir Tacuma

Ka’Laya Cooper

Makaila Monae Adam

Moriah Kerre Smith

Uchechi Chijindum Nkemdirim

Victeria Uriah Spear

Rilen Wade (Found. Is Safe)

Leara Sessoms

[blackjame]

Viral Instagram post highlights disproportionate number of Black children reported missing in Virginia

A viral social media post stating there have been 63 Black children reported missing in Virginia since April 1 underscores a serious issue i

[funny-tik-toks]

[tpwrtrmnky]

Think tanks explicitly founded to "abolish transgenderism" will publish a report that's like "there's no evidence that trans healthcare works if you ignore all the evidence" and be taken seriously, meanwhile actual researchers go "there's seriously NO evidence that gatekeeping helps" and get ignored

[tpwrtrmnky]

Like on the one hand there's new papers each year going "So it turns out that there's literally no fucking reason to restrict transition access based on these arbitrary criteria, and in fact, they were explicitly made up by some Danish fuck because he was personally obsessed with the idea that trans people were demons, and as it turns out the only measurable impacts of this policy are to increase risks to the patient" that have no impact on the healthcare systems they're criticizing whatsoever.

And then, on the other hand, you've got "Shockingly, this life-altering treatment that massively impacts how the patient is perceived by others in all facets of life is primarily supported by observational studies, as opposed to the enormous violations of bodily autonomy and human dignity necessary to perform a true randomized control trial. We recommend that treatment ceases immediately because you don't understand how evidence-based medicine works." And that becomes a linchpin of the politics of multiple European countries' trans healthcare politics for the next several years.

It's fucking clown world. Nobody who enabled this should be in a position of any power whatsoever.

[balfazuar]

[amygdalae]

Artist Credit: Zhuoxin Ye

[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[bb-mma]

🔸Deinagkistrodon acutus🔸

[illyadolatry]

oh it really is just miss sienna's version that's. crazy

[angremlin]

For the uninitiated this is demonstrating that a post with over 15000 notes gets flagged as explicit WHEN AND ONLY WHEN one particular trans woman who has been repeatedly targeted by staff reblogs it without any additions. She has deleted the post and reblogged it again like 20 times and they flag it every single time.

[dark-spirit-tamamoland]

it was over 100 attempts btw

[zoology]

Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"

[zoology]

Coming home from acceptance therapy to see some shit that says "not reblogging is a moral failure" "even if you forgive yourself you should still keep thinking about it" I dont like getting kicked in the head anymore guys

[zoology]

a lot of people are resonating with this so i want to share one of my biggest coping techniques that helps me a lot with moral, false memory, relationship, and harm OCD. disclaimer that i am not a psychiatrist, i am not fully recovered, and i still struggle every day so your mileage may vary as to if this is helpful.

when i struggle with obsessions about not being a good enough person, i have two steps i follow. first, i try to envision the kind of person i want to be. maybe i want to be more earnest. maybe i want to be more helpful. maybe i want to be kinder. maybe i want to be more assertive. i try to imagine a self that is calm, gentle, and confident. then i think of the simplest and most constructive steps to get there. i cannot put myself down. i cannot beat myself up. the steps have to be polite and reasonable advice i could give to someone without OCD.

tomorrow i won't ask my family if they love me, i will simply enjoy their company. i won't make that mean joke anymore. the next time i see my friends i'll ask for their opinion on something small and i will share my honest opinion as well. i will pick up a book and read for 20 minutes instead of avoiding what is a fun activity because i feel "dumb."

i repeat one of my favorite simpsons quotes a lot: "you can't keep blaming yourself, blame yourself once and move on." you have to move forward and just take the steps to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do using advice that you would give to any person other than yourself. part of being obsessive-compulsive is being rigidly self-critical and scrutinizing yourself far more than you would any other person. it's hard to beat these feelings, but the reality is that self punishment doesn't make anything better. things only get better when you move forward. you have to treat yourself like a human being.

it can be really hard to follow through with this advice sometimes. other times it's shockingly easy to start doing the things i want to do. there'll always be ups and downs and lefts and rights when living with OCD, and medication, therapy, and stress management are really helpful. still, even if it's hard, i have to move forward. i have to construct a healthy self instead of destroying an unhealthy self.

[yaldabaothadeez]

(source -scribblesquab on twitter)

[puppysfangs]

here's tummy tattoo :3 "spayed" . and , if ull give me a second of ur time I want to explain why I got this tattoo

when I was 11 , I started getting these rare bouts of severe , eye watering , vomit inducing , crippling pain . it wasn't very common , maybe every 3 months or so . now I'm 14 , every month has a chance of having one day during my week + long periods where I am again crippled with pain . it's a pretty high chance , maybe 70% . I'm bleeding so much that I pass out at school and it drips out of double layer overnight diapers . not only am I in pain , but I am severely bullied for bleeding and passing out and being doubled over in pain . nobody believes me , my family notices while I'm in pain and uses physical labor (I was already disabled by this point by my heds and 3 heart conditions) to "fix" me . I attempt suicide multiple times , i don't know how many . I'm 16 , every month I spend at least 3 full days in pain . I'm too weak to even stand so my family can't force me to do labor anymore and decide if I researched and did all the work myself I could see a doctor . it takes 6 months , they put me on aygestin and it helps , i don't have periods anymore . I'm 17 , I'm not bleeding still but the pain is still coming through , only this time it's weekly . my doctor diagnoses me with PCOS , only she doesn't tell me and I won't find out for another 4 years . that's not why I'm in pain tho . when I turn 18 we suspect endometriosis, I try every single medication on the market and none of them help . I do a laparoscopy, they find stage 1 endometriosis. nothing changes . I am put on narcotics because the pain is daily now . my doctor will try to sabotage this many times in the next years . I start to suspect after (excruciatingly) feeling my stomach during the pain that I'm having contractions. this lines up with all symptoms and sure enough, I can feel internally that's what it is . I ask for a hysterectomy, if I don't have a uterus there is nothing to contract . my doctor makes me wait multiple months before letting me see the same surgeon who did the lap . I attempt suicide

I meet her , she gaslights me on what the pain is , says this won't fix me at all , but says she will do it if insurance covers it under gender dysphoria. they do . she makes me wait months to see her , calls me at 7am the day of the appointment and says she won't do it and she led me on . I spend months wondering what to do , because I was told insurance would not cover it for pain bc of my age and an ethics board would deny it . I attempt suicide. I finally ask to try again , and I am instantly approved due to the severity of my case . I also get swayed into getting a bladder surgery to fix my incontinence (it wouldn't) and I have surgery within a month . I had the most miserable healing . my ex was constantly fighting me over stupid shit and actually I had to make excuses to the nurses why they didn't pick up the phone after I woke up from anesthesia (the second time . I woke up intubated and cut open first) , the bladder surgery was some of the worst pain I've ever had , and it hurt bad to pee for over a year after . honestly it still hurts pretty often . I wasn't being taken care of so I had to walk and cook and take care of my mom after *she* had surgery, and I got a really bad hematoma on my incision site , in my vaginal cuff . it would be 4 months until that stopped hurting . the contractions never came back .

I lost years and years of my life . more than anyone I know my age has . I spent years , barely conscious, curled up in pain in bed . every day . all day . the pain never got easier or more bearable either , it was always a 8-9/10 and often a 10 . I developed crps and severe numbness in my genitals , I can't orgasm anymore . I will probably be entirely numb externally in a few years . nobody ever figured out why that happened . noone really cared about it . noone understood why I wanted to keep trying to figure it out, noone took me seriously when I asked , and eventually I moved accross the country and I didn't have anyone familiar enough with my case to try . I attempt suicide again . my paperwork from just the *one* doctor managing it is over 100 pages long . my entire file is around 200 including it . I still don't know why that happened . I lost the last years of being a teenager and the first years of being an adult to my pain , I don't remember anything from that time because there's nothing to remember except pain . when I think too hard about it I feel sick . I want to know what was wrong with me but noone knows anything about what I was like back then , and gynecology isn't taken seriously other than to milk money out of poor confused people to sell more Mirena IUDs . if I didn't get lucky with that surgeon agreeing to do it , I would be dead or still a shell of a person in constant pain .

so yeah . that's my spay story . this doesn't really have a happy ending and it's honestly quite sad . but I think it's important to hear cases like mine to understand what it's like to be someone as ill as I am . u get to a point where people stop caring about ur qol because ull never amount to anything anyways . u get carted around the same circles of doctors and they all do at least some degree of random bullshit but never anything to really help . enough that u won't die but if u did it wouldn't be their fault . I don't know how to end this , but if u follow me and u are able bodied , please take a second to think about us severely ill people . support a cripple too , it doesn't have to be me (although I appreciate it greatly) but just someone . someone who's barely able to do anything, someone on a ventilator, someone on dialysis, someone with cancer , disabled sex workers , disabled homeless people . just someone . toss one of them a buck for me , okay ?

[87sukiyaki]

[thegaymertrainer]

I love otter

[hunter-rodrigez]

[ozempicofficial]

[punkrock-bottom]

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie

[spiribia]

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

[transfem-juice]